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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25171579">The Pact</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caedmon/pseuds/Caedmon'>Caedmon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman &amp; Terry Pratchett</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Anal Sex, Aziraphale Has Self-Esteem Issues (Good Omens), Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale and Crowley Have Their Picnic (Good Omens), Aziraphale and Crowley in Love (Good Omens), Blood Pacts, Blow Jobs, But I’m having SO MUCH FUN writing this, Crowley Is A Pine Tree In Sunglasses, Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Developing Relationship, Eventual Smut, I'm sexually diplomatic so, In this particular AU there is no Covid-19, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Aziraphale (Good Omens), Phone Sex, Pining Aziraphale (Good Omens), Pining Crowley (Good Omens), Pride, Reunions, Romance, Slow Burn, Take a hallmark movie and make it gay, is ‘blushing’ a tag? Because Aziraphale blushes like a schoolgirl all through this, mild frottage, my pineapple is shit, rated E for ‘everyone gets their dick wet later’, they're switches bitches</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:08:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>98,906</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25171579</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caedmon/pseuds/Caedmon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>On the first day of kindergarten, 1986, Aziraphale Fell met Anthony Crowley, and the two were best friends from that moment on.  What began as a simple childhood friendship grew and developed into something deeper and more precious, and they swore a sacred vow as children to always be best friends. Knowing one another as well as they did, they formed another pact in their teens: if they were both single at forty, they'd marry each other.</p><p>They went to separate universities and grew apart over the years, but neither ever forgot the other. And a few weeks before Aziraphale's fortieth birthday, he is shocked when Crowley appears in his shop, having returned to London for good. </p><p>Will they be able to pick up where they left off as friends, or will this be the start of something new?</p><p> </p><p><i>’Love is friendship set on fire.’</i> ~Jeremy Taylor<br/> </p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2836</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>944</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Good AUmens AU Fest, Good Omens Human AUs, Ineffable Humans AU</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a long note and I apologize in advance. </p><p>This was written for the Good AUmens AU fest. My assigned AU trope was 'childhood friends'. The chapter count is certain to go up. I'll also add more tags as I go. </p><p>My beta is NaurmiKaiko, the best beta in all of the Good Omens fandom. That said, all the inevitable mistakes are on me. A huge special thanks go out to the ladies of the Cadre server and everyone who's taken the time to brainstorm with me. Double special thanks to CynSyn, who helped me with the summary I was blocked on.</p><p>The general gist of this story was inspired by the song <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tz0DauSucig">'Secret Society'</a> by Utopia. I encourage you to give it a listen, as it's one of my all-time favorite songs, but will warn you that it's nearly forty years old. Still cool as hell, though.</p><p>Okay. I'll shut up now. Please enjoy this prologue chapter of The Pact!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>September, 1986</i>
</p><p>Aziraphale Fell sat on the wall surrounding the playground of Eden Primary School, swinging his feet and watching the other children forlornly. It had been a hard day so far, this first day of his academic career. He missed his mother greatly and had had to swallow tears multiple times. He could almost hear his big brother, Gabriel, chiding him, the way he always did when Aziraphale cried: <i>‘Big boys don’t cry, Aziraphale. Only babies. Stop being soft!’</i></p><p>He did his best not to cry, but on days like today, it was a struggle. He just wanted his mummy and the safety of his home. But he’d be able to go home soon, he thought. They’d just had lunch and were now at recess. The schedule on the wall that the teacher had reviewed with them said that after recess was naptime, then it was nearly time to go home. He could make it that long, he decided. All he had to do was sit through recess and take a little nap. Then he could go home and hug mummy. That would be heavenly. He was very much looking forward to that. Mummy gave the best hugs. </p><p>But for now, there was still recess to navigate. He thought of trying to find a friend to play with, but he didn’t know any of these children. Gabriel was there, of course, and his other brother, Sandy, but Aziraphale didn’t particularly <i>want</i> to play with either of them. Their games were never fun for Aziraphale and besides, he got enough time with them at home. </p><p>So he sat there, swinging his feet idly, watching happy children play, wishing he could join. The swings and monkey bars looked so fun. Maybe Aziraphale could just… start playing with a group of children, and they’d let him? He didn’t know, but the last thing mummy had said to him before he’d gotten on the bus this morning was <i>‘Have a good day, and make lots of friends! I can’t wait for you to tell me all about it!’</i> Maybe he should ask her tonight how one went about making friends at school. She’d know. Mummy knew everything.</p><p>He was surprised when he sensed someone sitting beside him suddenly, and turned to look at the person who had just joined him with wide eyes. It was a little boy with bright red hair that Aziraphale recognized as one of his classmates, although he couldn’t remember the boy’s name. The boy wasn’t looking at Aziraphale, though, he was looking out over the playground. </p><p>“Well that went down like a lead balloon,” he said. </p><p>“I’m sorry, what?” Aziraphale asked, confused. </p><p>The boy shrugged, turning to look at Aziraphale and oh, heavens. His eyes were almost yellow. Aziraphale had never seen eyes quite like that, and it was hard not to stare. </p><p>“I dunno. It’s something my mum says sometimes. What’s your name? My name’s Anthony, but I don’t like it.”</p><p>“You don’t like your name?”</p><p>“No, but mummy and daddy say I have to keep it. It’s my daddy’s name. But I’m not gonna keep it forever. One day, I’ll change it and be something cool. Like He-Man. I’d make a good He-Man. Anyway, what’s your name?”</p><p>“Mine’s Aziraphale,” he replied, mood lifting a bit. Could this boy be the friend he was hoping for?</p><p>Anthony made a face, the same face he’d seen dozens of times when people learned his name. “That’s a funny name.”</p><p>Aziraphale sighed. “I know, but I like it. I’m named after an angel.”</p><p>“Well, as long as you like it,” Anthony shrugged. He raised his hand, showing Aziraphale a balled paper towel. Inside were a few apple slices. “Want one?”</p><p>Aziraphale was very tempted, and his tummy growled a bit, but he shook his head. He wasn’t supposed to take food from strangers, and this boy was still mostly a stranger. </p><p>“No, thank you.”</p><p>“You don’t like apples?”</p><p>“Oh, no, I like them fine. I’m just full from lunch,” he lied, even though lying was wrong.</p><p>“Ah. Well, you can have some later, if you want.” Anthony took a big bite of one. </p><p>“Thank you,” Aziraphale said politely. Was this how you made friends? Mummy would be proud.</p><p>“Did you know that snakes don’t chew?” Anthony said when he swallowed. “It’s true! They open their mouths super wide, like this…” He opened his mouth as wide as he could to demonstrate, then closed it and said, “and then they gulp their food down.” </p><p>Aziraphale had learned that in a book, but Anthony seemed so proud to be sharing this bit of knowledge that he pretended he hadn’t known. “That’s fascinating.”</p><p>Anthony nodded. “Yeah. Snakes are cool. I know lots of snake facts. Want me to tell you?”</p><p>Aziraphale nodded. “Please do.”</p><p>Anthony’s yellow eyes glittered with excitement. “Snakes grow and grow until they get too big for their skin, and then you know what they do? They <i>shed it</i>. It just comes right off of them, like a jacket or something. Pretty cool, huh?”</p><p>He was about to agree that yes, that was <i>very</i> cool, but Anthony kept going. </p><p>“Snakes also don’t blink. They don’t have eyelids like us, so they <i>can’t</i> blink. And they’re cold blooded. That means they have to lie in the sun or something to get warm.”</p><p>“How interesting.”</p><p>“Yeah. And you know what else? Snakes stick their tongues out to taste the air. Like this.” Anthony flicked his tongue out a couple of times, the way a snake would, and Aziraphale watched him, fascinated. This was new information.</p><p>“Why do they taste the air?”</p><p>“To hunt prey, I guess. Or find friends. I dunno.”</p><p>“Wow,” Aziraphale said, awed. “I’ve read a book about snakes before, but I didn’t know all of that.”</p><p>“You can <i>read</i>?” Anthony said, looking and sounding amazed. </p><p>Aziraphale felt himself flush a bit. “Yes. My mummy taught me.”</p><p>“Well, why are you in school if you can already read?” Anthony asked, head cocked to the side. </p><p>“My mummy said I have to go to get properly ed- ed - <i>educated</i>. She said it’s what big boys do.”</p><p>“Wow. All my mummy said about me going to school was that I needed to learn to read. She also said, ‘Thank you, Jesus’ a few times, when my daddy would remind her that school started soon.”</p><p>This was familiar territory to Aziraphale. “Oh, your family is religious?”</p><p>“What’s ‘religious’ mean?” </p><p>“It means you get dressed up on Sundays and go to church.”</p><p>“Oh, no. Mummy makes me go with her on Easter and Christmas sometimes, but she doesn't make me go every Sunday. Daddy won’t go at all and she says trying to make me sit still is too much of a nightmare to deal with.”</p><p>Aziraphale frowned at that. He didn’t think he liked the idea of someone calling his new friend a nightmare. That wasn’t very nice. </p><p>“How about you?” Anthony was asking. “Does your mummy make you go to church?”</p><p>“Oh, yes. We’re there every time the doors open.”</p><p>“You must not be a nightmare, then.”</p><p>Aziraphale’s brow furrowed. “No, nobody has ever called me that. Although my brothers call me a pest sometimes, when mummy isn’t around.”</p><p>“You have brothers?”</p><p>“Yes, Gabriel and Sandy. They’re right over there,” he said, pointing his brothers out. </p><p>Anthony followed his pointing finger. “The two big boys kicking rocks and laughing at girls?”</p><p>“Yes, that’s them.”</p><p>“Hmm.”</p><p>“Do you have any brothers or sisters?”</p><p>“Nah. Mummy says I’m too much to handle as it is. I ask too many questions. She says she’s done having babies.”</p><p>“Ah.”</p><p>“How old are you?”</p><p>“I just turned six.”</p><p>Anthony looked awestruck. “Wow. I won’t be six until next month. Hey, would you like to come to my birthday party?”</p><p>Aziraphale lit up. “You mean it?”</p><p>“Yeah! Mummy said I could invite my best friend, and you’re my new best friend.”</p><p>Aziraphale practically glowed with happiness. He’d never been <i>anybody’s</i> best friend before, and the only parties he’d ever been to were for family. Wait until he told mummy about how he had a new best friend! She’d be so proud of him. He couldn’t wait. </p><p>Apparently, Anthony was thinking along the same lines. “Wait until I tell mummy I made friends with a real life angel.”</p><p>Aziraphale laughed. “I’m not an angel, I’m just a little boy.”</p><p>“No, you must be. You said that’s where your name came from, and you even <i>look</i> like an angel.”</p><p>“I do?”</p><p>Anthony nodded seriously. “Yeah, you do. And your hair is like fluffy clouds, where angels live.”</p><p>“Your hair is very red.”</p><p>“Yeah. I get that from my daddy. Same with the eyes.”</p><p>“Your daddy has yellow eyes?”</p><p>“Yeah, and my uncle, too. My mummy hates them.”</p><p>“Well, <i>I</i> like them.”</p><p>Anthony grinned shyly. “You do?”</p><p>Aziraphale nodded resolutely. “I do. I think they look cool. Like a snake’s eyes.”</p><p>Anthony lit up at that. “You mean it?”</p><p>“I do. They’re super cool.”</p><p>The little boy’s face shone with happiness. “You really <i>are</i> my best friend, angel.”</p><p>Aziraphale laughed, delighted. </p><p>“C’mon,” Anthony said, taking Aziraphale’s hand and pulling him towards the playground. “Let’s go play on the monkey bars.”</p><p>Aziraphale happily followed his new best friend.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div><i>April, 1989</i><p>“Wait til you see it, angel,” Anthony called over his shoulder excitedly as he led Aziraphale through the woods, beating an unnecessary path with his stick. “It’s the <i>perfect</i> hideout.”</p><p>“I’m still not sure I understand why we <i>need</i> a hideout,” Aziraphale complained lightly, trailing behind. </p><p>Anthony rolled his eyes fondly. Aziraphale always second guessed <i>everything</i>. “I’ve told you lots of reasons.”</p><p>“Remind me, please.”</p><p>Anthony used his stick to beat back some leaves that weren’t really in the way, just trying to seem impressive. “Well, the biggest thing is that we won’t have to deal with stupid Gabriel or Sandy if we have our own hideout. That’s the best part. They’ll never even know.”</p><p>“That <i>does</i> sound nice,” Aziraphale agreed. </p><p>“Yeah. It’ll be like our own little kingdom. We won’t have to follow anybody’s rules but our own.”</p><p>“Oh, I rather think we’ll still have to do what our parents say, don’t you?”</p><p>Anthony sighed. “Yes, angel. We’ll still follow our parents’ rules. But our parents won’t <i>be</i> there to make rules, and that’s the best part. We’ll be on our own side.”</p><p>“I thought Gabriel and Sandy not being there was the best part?”</p><p>“That too! There are lots of best parts! Think of it, Aziraphale. We’ll be able to do anything we want, however we want. No one will be able to tell us off for playing too loud or making a mess.” </p><p>“I’m <i>not</i> messy,” Aziraphale protested.</p><p>“You are, too. Your mum fusses about you leaving books lying around all the time.”</p><p>“That’s not mess! Mess is toys and clothes!”</p><p>“What is it, then, if it’s not mess?”</p><p>“It’s… it’s…”</p><p>“It’s <i>mess</i>. Face it, angel. You may put your dirty clothes in the hamper, but you’re still as messy as any other little boy.”</p><p>Aziraphale huffed and Anthony smirked to himself. As much as he loved his best friend, he loved teasing him, too. </p><p>“How much further?” Aziraphale asked from behind him. “We’re getting awfully far from home.”</p><p>“We’re here,” Anthony said with a bright smile as he crested the hill. He looked down on the hideout he’d found proudly and waited for Aziraphale to join him. </p><p>When Aziraphale was beside him, Anthony gestured expansively to the tree fort below. “So what do you think?” he asked with a broad grin. </p><p>“Whoa,” Aziraphale said, and Anthony was even more proud. Aziraphale was rarely speechless, and Anthony was chuffed. </p><p>“How did you find this?” Aziraphale asked, sounding awed. </p><p>Anthony shrugged. “Just ran up on it while I was exploring. Want to check it out?”</p><p>“Yeah!”</p><p>“Race you!” Anthony shouted, then started running down the hill towards the fort, Aziraphale hot on his heels. He laughed as he ran, too full of joy to contain it. When he got there, he turned around, smiling brightly. “Want to go on the tire swing?”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“Yeah! I’ll push.”</p><p>Aziraphale clambered into the tire swing a little awkwardly but with a smile and Anthony started to push him. Once he was swinging well, Anthony stepped away and picked up his discarded walking stick. </p><p>“This is great,” Aziraphale said with a smile. </p><p>Anthony could have preened. “I’m glad you like it.”</p><p>“Do you think it belongs to some other children? I should hate to trespass.”</p><p>Anthony rolled his eyes again, fondly. “You worry too much, angel.”</p><p>“It’s a fair question. A tree fort as nice as this, it seems whatever children it belonged to would want to protect it.” </p><p>“Nah. I think it’s old. See how the wood is all grey? The kids who used to play on it are probably all grown up now.”</p><p>“I <i>never</i> want to grow up,” Aziraphale declared, still swinging. “I want to be a child for always. I want everything to stay just like this <i>forever</i>.”</p><p>“We won’t grow up. Me and you, we’ll stay young til we die.”</p><p>Aziraphale made a moue. “I don’t think it works like that. Mum says growing up is just a part of life.”</p><p>“Just because we have to get older doesn’t mean we have to <i>grow up</i>. My mum says my uncle Mark is still a child, and he’s old. Like, thirty or something.”</p><p>“Wow.”</p><p>Anthony’s eyes sparkled. “Want to climb up into the treehouse?”</p><p>“Yeah!”</p><p>Aziraphale clambered back out of the swing, nearly falling but catching himself, and the boys climbed up the wood planks nailed to a tree that served as a ladder. Once they were in the fort, Aziraphale looked around, awestruck.</p><p>“We’re so high up!”</p><p>“I know! We’re as tall as my dad. Taller, even.”</p><p>“I bet if I tried hard, I could see my house from here,” Aziraphale said, squinting into the distance in a direction opposite from his house. </p><p>Anthony sat down, still smiling. “Don’t try too hard. We don’t want Gabriel and Sandy to find us, remember? They’ll ruin everything.”</p><p>“You’re right, they would.” Aziraphale came to sit down on the weathered planks across from Anthony, folding his legs criss cross applesauce. “So what do you want to do? Do you have a game in mind?”</p><p>Anthony felt a surge of juvenile nerves. “Not a game, really, but an idea.”</p><p>“Do tell. What’s your idea?”</p><p>“My dad was watching this film about these two kids who made a club. They called it a ‘secret society’. And they don’t let anyone join them.”</p><p>Aziraphale looked puzzled. “They can only be friends with each other?”</p><p>“No, they have other friends, they just don’t let those other friends come between them. They’re private, and the two kids were bonded. For <i>life.</i>”</p><p>“Whoa.”</p><p>“So I was thinking we should do that. We should make our own secret society.”</p><p>“Just for me and you?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“Okay. What do we have to do?”</p><p>“Well, we’d have to swear an oath. A sacred vow,” he told Aziraphale, with as much gravitas as he could muster.</p><p>“What kind of oath?”</p><p>“That we’ll be friends forever.”</p><p>“That’s easy. You’ll always be my best friend, Anthony.”</p><p>Anthony felt himself light up. “You promise?”</p><p>“Of course I do. I’ll gladly swear an oath.”</p><p>“Yeah, but you have to seal it in <i>blood</i>.”</p><p>Aziraphale’s eyes widened. “Whose blood?”</p><p>“Ours.”</p><p>His eyes widened even further. “How do we get the blood?”</p><p>“We’ll cut our hands a little. It won’t hurt.”</p><p>“But <i>why</i> do we have to do it in blood?”</p><p>“So a part of you is with me forever and a part of me is with you.”</p><p>“You want me with you forever?” Aziraphale said, surprise winning over horror for a moment.</p><p>“Of course I do,” Anthony scoffed, as if it were simple.</p><p>Aziraphale still looked vaguely disturbed. “That doesn’t sound very hygenic.” </p><p>“It’s not supposed to be hygenic. It’s an <i>oath</i>.”</p><p>“I really don’t think…”</p><p>“C’mon, angel. Please?”</p><p>“Are you <i>sure</i> we should be doing this?”</p><p>“It’s the only way to seal our bond.”</p><p>Aziraphale swallowed, wide eyed. “Well...okay...” </p><p>Anthony dug his tiny pocket knife out quickly, before Aziraphale lost his nerve. “You ready, angel?”</p><p>“I - I think so.”</p><p>Anthony brought the knife up to his hand and dragged it across his palm, cutting it. It was barely more than a scratch, but it bled, and that was all that mattered. He fought tears from the sting of pain, but plastered on a smile and handed the knife to Aziraphale. “Now you.”</p><p>Aziraphale looked petrified, but took the knife. He put the blade to his palm and just held it there for a minute before swallowing and dragging it along his skin, drawing blood. When he looked up at Crowley, he had tears in his eyes. </p><p>“N - now what?”</p><p>“Now we join hands and make the oath.”</p><p>Aziraphale nodded and the two boys clasped their hands between them, palm to palm, letting the blood mingle. </p><p>“I, Anthony Jay Crowley, promise to be your best friend forever and ever. I’ll always share my toys and candy with you, and I’ll pick you first in games at recess. And if I break this oath, I hope a thousand lions come and eat me.”</p><p>Aziraphale’s eyes were like saucers, and Crowley nodded to him. “Your turn.”</p><p>“What do I say?”</p><p>“Just say what I said.”</p><p>“Alright. I, um, I, Aziraphale Zaccheus Fell, promise to be your best friend forever and ever. I’ll always share my toys and candy with you, and I’ll pick you first in games at recess. And, um, if I break this oath, I hope a thousand lions come and eat me.”</p><p>Anthony squeezed the hand he held, his heart full and glowing. “Now spit.”</p><p>“Pardon?”</p><p>“You gotta. It was in the movie. Like this.” Anthony turned his head and spat off the top of the treehouse. </p><p>Aziraphale made a slightly disgusted face, but followed suit, turning his head and spitting. </p><p>“There,” Anthony said, satisfied. “Now we’re  bonded. Best friends forever and ever.”</p><p>“Forever and ever,” Aziraphale echoed, withdrawing his hand and looking down at the blood smeared there. “We should go home and get plasters.”</p><p>Crowley wiped his bloody hand off on his shirt, unconcerned. “You don’t want to play a bit longer? We just got here.”</p><p>“I would, yes, but if we don’t get some ointment on our hands, they might get infected.”</p><p>“And fall off?”</p><p>“They might!”</p><p>Anthony snorted. “I doubt that. But can we come back and play here tomorrow?” he asked hopefully. </p><p>“If you want to. Maybe I could bring a book and read it!”</p><p>He beamed. “Awesome. Want to race back to yours?”</p><p>Aziraphale pouted. “You always win when we race.”</p><p>“How about we run together, at the same speed?”</p><p>“Alright. And when we get back to mine, I’ll ask mummy to make us a snack.”</p><p>Anthony lit up. “Does she have capri suns?”</p><p>Aziraphale nodded. “Tropical punch. And string cheese, too.”</p><p>Anthony punched the air with his  bloody fist. “Let’s go!”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div><i>January, 1992</i><p>Anthony liked spending the night with Aziraphale. He loved spending <i>any</i> time with his best friend, but sleepovers were the best. Aziraphale’s mom would make them hot cocoa and a snack, and give them free rein over the expansive house. They could do whatever they liked, as long as they steered clear of Gabriel and Sandy. Sometimes, if they were <i>really</i> lucky, Gabriel and Sandy would be spending the night at their own friends’ houses and Aziraphale and Anthony would get to play the video games. Those were some of Anthony’s favorite times, since he didn’t have a nintendo at home. </p><p>But Anthony’s <i>actual</i> favorite part of spending the night with Aziraphale came when the two boys would finally retire to Aziraphale’s book-filled bedroom and crawl into bed together, talking about anything and everything until the wee hours of the morning, when both of them fell asleep. Many, many secrets had been confided, and countless laughs shared. That was where they were now, just after midnight, snuggled under several blankets to ward off the cold while a snowstorm raged outside. </p><p>“We’re like gorillas,” Anthony observed, nuzzling in. </p><p>“In what way are we like gorillas?” Aziraphale asked from the other side of the bed, just a few inches away. </p><p>“Well, gorillas sleep in nests.” </p><p>“We’re not in a nest, we’re in a <i>bed</i>.”</p><p>“I still say we’re like gorillas.”</p><p>“<i>You’re</i> like a gorilla,” Aziraphale teased, and both boys giggled. </p><p>The giggles faded and they fell silent, listening to the wind outside. Anthony felt warm and safe here, more warm and safe than he felt anywhere in the world, including at home. Just thinking of home created a pit in his stomach, and he swallowed against it. </p><p>“They’re fighting again, aren’t they?” Aziraphale asked in the silence. </p><p>Anthony closed his eyes for a second. “Kinda. It’s hard for them to fight when dad’s never home.”</p><p>“Where does he go?”</p><p>“I dunno. Mum won’t actually tell me, but I heard her telling Gramma he’s out at the pub with other women. He never comes home until I’m asleep, though. Sometimes they get into fights and wake me up with the shouting.” </p><p>Aziraphale was quiet for a minute, not saying anything, and Anthony felt hot tears pricking his eyes. He tried to deny them, but one slipped out against his will. He and Aziraphale couldn’t see each other in the dark, but he felt movement in front of him, then Aziraphale’s warm hand gripping his. Anthony clung to it like a lifeline. </p><p>“I’m so sorry, Anthony.”</p><p>Anthony did his best to sound nonchalant. “Not your fault, angel.”</p><p>“No, but I’d give <i>anything</i> to make it better. I can’t bear to see you hurting.”</p><p>Another tear slipped out and Anthony sniffled, eyes closed again against the warmth he could feel from his best friend. </p><p>“What can I do?” Aziraphale asked. </p><p>“Just be my best friend.”</p><p>“I will always be that, Anthony. Always.”</p><p>“That’s all you can do.”</p><p>“Would you like to stay over more?”</p><p>“Yes,” Anthony answered at once, without pausing for thought. “I’d stay here with you forever if I could.”</p><p>“Well, I don’t know how Mum would feel about ‘forever’, but I’d love it. We can have tons more sleepovers, I’m sure she won’t mind that. As many as you’d like.”</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>“You’re always welcome. I’m actually looking <i>forward</i> to more sleepovers. I just wish they weren’t because your parents are being ugly to each other.”</p><p>“Yeah. Me too.”</p><p>They fell silent for a little while, and Anthony started to wonder if Aziraphale had fallen asleep. He could feel the warm tendrils of slumber sneaking up on him, too, but he always tried to stay awake until his angel was asleep, to protect him. It seemed like the least he could do. Aziraphale was the most precious person in his life, the one person he felt loved and accepted by at all times. He’d do anything to keep his best friend safe. </p><p>He got his answer a few minutes later when he heard a soft, gentle snore from where Aziraphale’s head lay on the pillow. Anthony smiled fondly, gave the hand holding his a gentle, affectionate squeeze, then let himself drift off to sleep, holding hands with Aziraphale.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div>October, 1994<p>“I hate Mrs. Lincoln,” Anthony was saying as they walked the half mile from the school to Aziraphale’s house on a sunny autumn afternoon. “She’s a bitch.”</p><p>“She is a hard teacher,” Aziraphale agreed. </p><p>“She’s a <i>bitch</i>,” Anthony insisted.</p><p>“Well, I suppose she <i>could</i>  be classified in such a way, but it’s not very nice.”</p><p>“I’m never nice.”</p><p>“That’s not true. You’re always nice to me.”</p><p>Anthony grumbled under his breath, but Aziraphale grinned. It was true. </p><p>“She hates me,” Anthony went on complaining.</p><p>“Why do you say so?”</p><p>“She’s always picking on me. Always. If anything at all happens that she doesn’t like, she blames me.”</p><p>“Well, you <i>do</i> cause a fair share of mischief,” Aziraphale pointed out reasonably. </p><p>“I mean, yeah, but I get in trouble with her for things I didn’t even <i>do</i>. It’s not fair.”</p><p>“No, it’s not,” Aziraphale agreed loyally. “It really is most unjust.”</p><p>Anthony scoffed. “You sound so stuffy sometimes.”</p><p>Aziraphale bristled a bit. “I don’t <i>mean</i> to. That’s just the way I talk.”</p><p>“I know it is. I’m not complaining about it. I actually love it.”</p><p>He felt a thrill shoot all through himself. Aziraphale <i>loved</i> when Crowley said things like that. It made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside, like being wrapped up in his fluffiest blanket beside the fire. </p><p>Changing the subject, Aziraphale said, “Are you having a birthday party this year?”</p><p>Anthony’s face morphed into a smile. “Yeah, I forgot to tell you. I talked mum into letting me have a fancy dress party on Halloween this year, since my birthday is only a couple of days before. It’s going to be <i>so</i> much better than my usual, boring parties.” </p><p>“I’ve never been to a fancy dress party,” Aziraphale lamented. </p><p>“I haven’t either, but they look so fun on telly. It’s gonna be great. We’re gonna decorate with spiderwebs and gravestones and snakes and stuff.”</p><p>“Always with the snakes,” Aziraphale said fondly. “It sounds fun.”</p><p>“It <i>will</i> be. I’m inviting the whole class.”</p><p>“Even Justin?”</p><p>Anthony rolled his eyes. “Yeah. Mum says I can’t invite <i>anyone</i> unless I invite <i>everyone</i>. So I have to invite that tosser, too.”</p><p>“Well, at least that way, no one will be left out.”</p><p>“Now you sound like my mother.”</p><p>Aziraphale didn’t say anything. Anthony complained about Aziraphale sounding like a grownup at least twice a week. Aziraphale supposed it was a fair complaint. </p><p>“So I’ve been thinking,” Anthony said, his hands shoved in his pockets and his head down. </p><p>“About what?”</p><p>“About my name.”</p><p>“What about it?”</p><p>“I don’t wanna be called Anthony anymore.”</p><p>Aziraphale blinked. “Why not?”</p><p>“Because it’s my stupid dad’s name and I’d rather pretend he didn’t exist,” Anthony said simply. </p><p>“Well, I can certainly understand <i>that</i>. What do you want to change it to?”</p><p>“Mum won’t let me actually change it. I’ve begged and she still says no. She says one day, I’ll appreciate it. I said, ‘fat chance’, but there’s no reasoning with her.”</p><p>“Yes, mothers can be unreasonable,” Aziraphale commiserated. “So what are you going to do?”</p><p>“Well, we came up with a compromise. I’ll leave my name the way it is, but ask people to call me ‘Crowley’ instead.”</p><p>Aziraphale blinked. “You want to go by your surname?”</p><p>The red haired boy nodded. “Yeah. I’d like that.”</p><p>“So you want me to call you Crowley from now on?”</p><p>“I’d really like it if you did. And if you told everyone else to call me that, too.”</p><p>“Of course I will,” Aziraphale said at once. “Whatever you want. All I ask is that you be patient with me if I slip up and forget.”</p><p>“I promise I won’t yell. And I know it’s going to take a long time for people to remember to use it, too. But I want this <i>really</i> bad.”</p><p>“Well, I’ll do anything I can to help you get it… <i>Crowley,</i>” he said, giving Anth - <i>Crowley</i> a smile. The one he got in return was blinding. </p><p>“It sounds even better when you say it,” Crowley said, his cheeks a little pink. </p><p>Aziraphale was chuffed. “Good. You’ll hear me use it a lot, since that’s your name now. But come on, <i>Crowley</i>,” he used the name again just to get that smile. “We have two hours before Gabriel and Sandy are home from football practice. If we hurry, we can both have a go on the computer before they get home.”</p><p>“You’re on.”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div>November, 1996<p>They were in Aziraphale’s room late on a Friday night, almost Saturday morning, after having been banished from the computer room and the internet a few minutes earlier by Aziraphale’s tired mother. They’d obediently come upstairs to change into their night things and go to bed, although both of them knew there would be no sleeping for at least an hour. There was too much to talk about, too much that could only be discussed during the wee hours in the dark when they were completely alone. They’d stay up late into the night, talking as they always did, then sleep until midmorning on Saturday. That had been their routine for a decade, and Aziraphale never wanted things to change. </p><p>“Things are <i>so</i> much better around here without your shithead brothers,” Crowley was saying as he dug his pyjamas out of his well-worn duffel bag. “I dread them coming home for the holidays.”</p><p>“I do, too, but I’d advise you to not let my mother hear you call them that word.”</p><p>Crowley scoffed. “Do you think I’m nuts? Wait a second. Don’t answer that.”</p><p>Aziraphale gigged and Crowley gave him a mischievous grin just before he whipped off his shirt and bared his chest. Aziraphale felt his cheeks heat and turned away hurriedly, just as Crowley was shoving down his trousers. Unbidden, his cock twitched in his pants and he sent up a frenzied prayer to heaven to make it behave and not let it embarrass him. What on earth was wrong with him? Crowley was his <i>best friend</i> - he shouldn’t be lusting after his best friend! It was wrong, and weird, and why, oh, why did he have to feel this way? He concentrated on reciting poetry to himself as he waited for the moment of confusion and lust to subside.</p><p>“Are you alright?” Crowley asked a second later. </p><p>Aziraphale chanced a glance to see that Crowley was now in his pyjamas. He relaxed a little. “I’m fine, dear.”</p><p>Crowley nodded his head in Aziraphale’s direction. “You planning to sleep in your clothes?”</p><p>He looked down at himself, realizing he was still dressed. “Oh. No, I suppose I’d better change.” </p><p>He rushed through taking off his clothes and changing into his pyjamas with his back to Crowley, embarrassed to be seen. Thank heavens his erection had subsided. When he turned back around, Crowley wasn’t paying him any attention and had sprawled across the bed like he owned the place. It was <i>attractive</i>, and Aziraphale glanced away again. </p><p>“Still, I have to admit that I envy them.”</p><p>“Envy who?”</p><p>“Your brothers, going off to uni.”</p><p>“Yes, but that will be <i>us</i> in a couple of years.”</p><p>“Seems like forever,” Crowley groaned dramatically. </p><p>Aziraphale shut off the light and turned back the duvet. “Budge over,” he said with a boldness he didn't feel. “I’m tired.”</p><p>Crowley moved to his side of the bed accommodatingly, and Aziraphale climbed in, taking his usual spot. “What will you do?” he asked. “When you go off to uni, that is.”</p><p>The red haired boy was gazing up at the ceiling, hands behind his head, a small smile tugging the corners of his mouth. “I’ll do <i>whatever I want</i>, is what I’ll do. I’ll go where I want, I’ll see who I want, I’ll drink if I want to, I’ll throw parties and meet people… I may even get a tattoo or something.”</p><p>“A tattoo?”</p><p>“It’s just a thought,” Crowley shrugged. “The point is, I’ll be <i>free</i>. Free to do whatever I please.”</p><p>“But <i>where</i> are you going to go to uni?” </p><p>“I dunno. Probably London. I want to get out of Tadfield. I guess you’ll be going to Oxford, like your brothers?”</p><p>“And my parents, and my grandparents, and my grandparents’ parents,” Aziraphale confirmed. </p><p>“Why don’t you come to London with me? We could get a flat together and have sleepovers literally every night.”</p><p>“You <i>know</i> my family expects me to go to Oxford.”</p><p>“Oxford, shmoxford. Come to London with me.”</p><p>Oh, Aziraphale was tempted. He wanted so badly to be with his best friend. But he couldn’t. Instead, he suggested, “Why don’t you come with me?”</p><p>“Nah. I don’t have the grades for that.”</p><p>That was true, Aziraphale knew. Crowley was whip-smart, but his grades didn’t always reflect that. </p><p>“I can come to London <i>after</i> uni,” Aziraphale offered. “We can get a flat then.”</p><p>“I suppose so. But it won’t be as fun without you, until you get there.”</p><p>They were silent for a little while, and Aziraphale tried to contemplate a future <i>without</i> Crowley. Oh, he didn’t like to think about that at all. What on earth would he do without his best friend?</p><p>“Do you think Hannah Mitchell is pretty?” </p><p>Aziraphale was discombobulated for a moment by the change in subject, and it took a second for him to catch up. “Huh? Oh. Yes, I think she’s very pretty.”</p><p>“I think she likes me.”</p><p>He felt an ugly flare of jealousy that he hoped didn’t come through in his voice. “Do you like <i>her</i>?”</p><p>“I mean, I guess. She’s pretty and all, but kinda stupid.”</p><p>“That’s not a very kind thing to say.”</p><p>“It’s true though and you know it. She thought Beavis and Butthead were real people.”</p><p>“Well,” Aziraphale demurred. </p><p>“I think I may ask her out.”</p><p>Another flare of jealousy. “Oh?”</p><p>“Yeah. There’s a dance coming up in a few weeks. I think I may ask if she wants to go.”</p><p>“You should do that,” Aziraphale said around a lump in his throat he didn’t understand. “You should ask her out.”</p><p>“Hey, why don’t <i>you</i> ask a girl and we could double date?”</p><p>“I - I don’t think so.”</p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>Aziraphale swallowed hard, his palms sweating. He’d been wanting to tell Crowley he was gay for a year, ever since he’d realized, now it seemed he had his chance. Crowley wouldn't think less of him, would he? No, of course not. Besides, in the dark, in the wee hours, well, that was when they were <i>supposed</i> to confide their deepest secrets. Crowley would never judge him or out him, he knew that. Telling Crowley would be safe, and at least it wouldn’t be such a huge secret, gnawing away at him inside. His best friend would know. </p><p>“I - I don’t like girls,” Aziraphale admitted out loud for the first time. “I like boys.”</p><p>“Yeah, I think I knew that,” Crowley said, which was <i>not</i> the response Aziraphale had been expecting. He was even more floored when Crowley said, “I like boys, too. Not just girls. I like everyone.”</p><p>If Aziraphale had been standing, he’d have collapsed with shock. “You <i>do</i>?”</p><p>“Mhm. I like both equally. Of course, I can’t <i>tell</i> anyone I like boys, too.”</p><p>“No, neither can I. It has to be an absolute secret.”</p><p>“I’ll keep your secret if you keep mine.”</p><p>“Deal.”</p><p>“But that’s another reason to move to London. There are <i>loads</i> of people like us in big cities.”</p><p>“I can’t imagine that.”</p><p>“It’s true, though.”</p><p>“I feel very alone.”</p><p>“But you’re not.”</p><p>“But I feel that way. I’m going to be like old man Perkins, alone with my books and my tea and nobody to spend my life with,” Aziraphale said morosely.</p><p>“I won’t let that happen,” Crowley said, his voice determined. “You’ll have me.”</p><p>“But for how long? At some point, you’re going to meet someone nice and get married. Maybe have children. And then you won’t need me anymore.”</p><p>“That’s not true. For one thing, we swore that oath to be best friends forever. I took that seriously. I’ll <i>always</i> be your best friend, Aziraphale. For another thing, I can’t see myself settling down before I’m old. I want to live while I’m young. I’ll think about getting married and all that rot when I’m in my thirties. And for a <i>third</i> thing, I can’t imagine ever being so in love with someone I want to spend the rest of my life with them. The closest I’ll ever come to feeling that way is about you.”</p><p>“About me?”</p><p>“Yeah, you. You’re the only person I think wouldn’t drive me crazy when I’m forty.”</p><p>Aziraphale chuckled. “Well, as it stands right now, I can <i>never</i> get married. So you’ll have one up on me, whenever you do inevitably find someone to settle down with. But I can’t imagine loving someone that much, either.”</p><p>“Well aren’t we the pair? Maybe we should marry each other.”</p><p>“Oh, dear, I do wish you’d be serious.”</p><p>“I am serious.”</p><p>Aziraphale rolled over, away from him. “I’m not going to talk to you if you’re going to make fun of me.”</p><p>He heard Crowley sit up behind him and felt his long-fingered hands pull on his shoulders. “Angel, I’m not making fun of you. I’m <i>serious</i>. Just listen to me.”</p><p>Aziraphale sighed and sat up. “Go ahead.”</p><p>“I think we should make another pact, like we did in the tree fort.”</p><p>“A pact for what?”</p><p>“To get married when we turn forty if we haven’t married someone else.”</p><p>“We <i>can’t</i> get married, Crowley. It’s illegal.”</p><p>Crowley rolled his yellow eyes. “You know what I mean.”</p><p>Aziraphale stared at him in the low light. “You’re serious.”</p><p>“Completely. Being alone sucks and neither of us want to spend our lives by ourselves. Who better to settle down with than your best friend?”</p><p>“But you’re going to meet all kinds of fascinating people in London!”</p><p>“And you’ll meet all kinds of fascinating people at Oxford, too. That’s why I’m saying we should wait until we’re forty.”</p><p>“You’re <i>serious</i>.”</p><p>“Get your pocket knife out of your drawer. Let’s swear another oath. That’s how serious I am.”</p><p>“Crowley…”</p><p>“What, would you <i>rather</i> sail off into your golden years alone? Like my mother? Or <i>your</i> mother?”</p><p>“Well, no…”</p><p>“C’mon, angel. This is the perfect solution. Get your knife. We’re doing this.”</p><p>More than a little dumbfounded, Aziraphale flicked on his lamp and reached into his bedside table, withdrawing a tiny pocket knife. Eyes wide, he handed it to Crowley. </p><p>“Are you sure, dear?”</p><p>“I’m 100% sure. Are you ready?”</p><p>“I… I think so.”</p><p>Crowley dragged the knife down his palm, creating a tiny cut that bled, then handed the knife to Aziraphale. Aziraphale followed suit, then the two clasped hands, palms together, just as they had all those years ago. </p><p>“I, Anthony Jay Crowley, swear that if I’m still single when I turn forty, I’m going to settle down with you. I promise to give other people a fair shot, but if nothing works out, I’m marrying you. Now your turn.”</p><p>“I, Aziraphale Zaccheus Fell, promise that if I’m still single when I turn forty, I’m going to settle down with you. I - I promise to give other people a fair chance, but if they don’t work out, I’ll - I’ll marry you.”</p><p>“Now spit,” Crowley said. </p><p>“Oh, dear, not on my bed…”</p><p>“Not for real, just pretend.”</p><p>Aziraphale and Crowley turned their heads in unison and pretended to spit. </p><p>“There,” Crowley said with a final squeeze to Aziraphale’s hand. “Now it’s sealed in blood with a sacred vow. We’ve made a <i>pact</i>, and it can never be broken. Neither of us will have to grow old alone.”</p><p>“I don’t think <i>you’re</i> going to have to worry about that, dear. Just me.”</p><p>“Well, now you don’t have to worry about it, either. Now let’s sneak downstairs and get plasters, then go to sleep. Tomorrow, we’re going to brainstorm how to ask a girl out. I’m going to need your help.”</p><p>Aziraphale rolled his eyes. “Alright, dear.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Check out this beautiful artwork by Yvesriba of our boys snuggled in bed at age twelve, sharing secrets!! </p><p>
  
</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Aziraphale and Crowley: the university years.</p><p>Unbeta'd. We fall like Crowley.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>Late March, 1999</i>
</p><p>Crowley was practically vibrating with excitement as he drove like a bat out of hell through London, towards the train station. The radio played, but he paid little attention to it. All he could think of was the fact that Aziraphale’s train was arriving in seventeen minutes, and then he’d have his angel all to himself for an entire three days. He hadn’t seen his best friend since winter break, when they’d both been home, and it had been the longest two-and-a-half months of his life. They hadn’t been able to coordinate their trips home to fall on the same weekends, and Crowley was starving for the sight of his angel. They talked every day over ICQ but it wasn’t the same. And it wasn’t nearly enough. </p><p>He whipped his car into a short term parking spot and jumped out, sauntering quickly towards the area marked ‘arrivals’. Once there, he checked the status of the train from Oxford: on time. Crowley grinned, then went to the appropriate platform to wait. </p><p>The hands of the clock seemed to be stationary, and Crowley shuffled his weight from one foot to the other anxiously, his mind swirling. He wasn’t sure how to act around Aziraphale when he saw him. How <i>was</i> one supposed to conduct themselves around their best friend that they secretly harbored not-very-platonic feelings for? Crowley had told himself a year ago - before they’d left for uni when he’d realized he was actually <i>in love</i> with Aziraphale - that he’d keep those feelings to himself until they finished. It would have been miserable for them both to try and maintain a long distance relationship and besides, when they’d sworn that pact a couple of years ago, they’d sworn to give other people a fair chance. Three years at uni would be plenty of time for them to give other people a fair shot, he thought. Then, when Aziraphale moved to London after graduation and they got a flat together, they could enact the pact early and say they’d tried. But now... well, it was said that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and Crowley now knew there was a grain of truth to that. Somehow, miraculously, he <i>had</i> grown even more crazy about Aziraphale than he’d been before they went off to uni, and Crowley was currently questioning the wisdom of his plan to wait. He very much wanted to kiss, to touch, to be with Aziraphale <i>now</i>, and he didn’t want to spend the next two years waiting. Logically, he felt like he still should, but his logic was at war with his emotions. Maybe he’d put out some casual feelers this weekend, he thought, to test Aziraphale’s receptiveness to him romantically. He was sure that Aziraphale had harbored romantic feelings towards him before… if he still <i>did</i>, maybe Crowley would confess how he felt to Aziraphale <i>now</i> instead of waiting two years for them to graduate and they could… make a plan together. Maybe. </p><p>But even if his logical brain <i>did</i> win the day and he <i>didn’t</i> confess his feelings to Aziraphale, he still had a full three days to spend with his best friend. He couldn’t <i>wait</i>.</p><p>The sign beside Aziraphale’s train on the notification board flipped from “on time” to “arrived”, and Crowley felt like punching the air. He was here! Crowley would see him any second now! </p><p>The train pulled to a stop and Crowley waited impatiently as people filed off. He went up on his toes, looking around and over people, searching for a familiar blond head until finally, a few yards away, he spotted him. His face split into a wide smile and he felt a thrill race over his entire body. <i>Aziraphale.</i></p><p>Crowley started shoving his way through the crowd, not really caring about being polite, smile growing with every step. When Aziraphale caught sight of him, his face split into a wide grin and Crowley could have sung. He elbowed the remaining people out his way and made a beeline for Aziraphale. As soon as he was able, he threw his arms around his best friend and hugged him. </p><p>“Crowley,” Aziraphale said into his shoulder. “It’s so good to see you.”</p><p>“Even better to see you, angel,” Crowley said honestly, holding him tight. </p><p>He didn’t let go until he had to, and when he did, he held onto Aziraphale’s arms, holding him at arm’s length, taking him in. </p><p>“Bloody hell, you look fantastic,” he said, his mouth activating before his brain. </p><p>Aziraphale laughed merrily. “So do you! You’ve grown your hair long, I see.”</p><p>Crowley reached up and touched his hair idly, almost surprised to find it long. “Yeah, I’ve been growing it out. What do you think?”</p><p>“I think it makes you look very rakish,” Aziraphale replied with a smile. </p><p>He rolled his eyes. “<i>Rakish</i>. I don’t think anyone has said ‘rakish’ in the last hundred years.”</p><p>“Well, I’m little more than a relic from the past, you know,” Aziraphale said, his eyes twinkling. </p><p>Crowley chuckled. “That you are. Is this all you brought?” he asked, indicating the duffel bag. </p><p>“Yes, and my bookbag,” Aziraphale said, turning a little to show the bookbag on his shoulders. “I packed light. Well, as light as I could, considering you wouldn’t tell me what we’re doing.”</p><p>“I told you, just stuff,” Crowley said, then plucked the duffel bag from Aziraphale’s hand. “C’mon, angel. Your chariot awaits.”</p><p>Aziraphale laughed and the two made their way through the crowd towards the car park. Once they’d found Crowley’s beat-up (but well-loved) car, Crowley unceremoniously tossed Aziraphale’s duffel bag into the back seat. Aziraphale was a bit more gentle when he placed his bookbag beside it, then they got into the car and Crowley pulled off. </p><p>“So!” Aziraphale said once they were out in traffic. “What have you got on your agenda for us for the weekend?”</p><p>“Not that much, honestly. There’s a party tonight I thought we might go to, and another tomorrow night. If you’re interested, that is. If you’re not, we can just hit up a couple of local hot spots. There are several gay bars near campus.” </p><p>There was a little line between Aziraphale’s brows, the one he got when something displeased or  confused him. Crowley picked up on it right away. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>“Nothing’s <i>wrong</i>, I should just hate to spend our weekend together in environments where we need to shout at each other to be heard.”</p><p>“So we’ll skip the clubs,” Crowley said easily. “No sweat. But I really do wish you’d come to the parties, at least for a little while, so everyone can meet you. They’ve heard all about you, of course.”</p><p>“Yes, I suppose we can do that. After all, I did promise Thomas.”</p><p>Crowley felt a prickle on the back of his neck. “Thomas?”</p><p>“My… friend,” Aziraphale said, and Crowley didn’t like the way he paused before he said ‘friend’. He liked the way Aziraphale’s cheeks were reddening even less. There was a sudden knot in the pit of his stomach, and he tried to ignore it. </p><p>“Your ‘<i>friend</i>’?” he asked, emphasizing the word and hating the jealousy he felt. </p><p>Aziraphale’s cheeks heated more and he looked down at the hands in his lap. “Yes, well, I’m not quite sure <i>how</i> to categorize us, actually. We’re a bit more than friends, but…”</p><p>The knot in Crowley’s stomach was growing bigger and tighter. With all the casual cheerfulness he could muster, he said, “Friends with benefits?”</p><p>“I - I guess that’s closest,” Aziraphale admitted. “We’ve been seeing each other for the last two months, but nothing is ‘official’, I don’t think.” </p><p>“Sounds like the two of you need to have a talk,” Crowley said around the lump in his throat and his sinking heart. </p><p>“Maybe we do, but I haven’t the foggiest how to go about bringing something like that up.”</p><p>“You’re a genius,” Crowley said, desperately hoping the disappointment he felt didn’t come through in his voice. “You’ll figure something out.”</p><p>“Yes, maybe I will. But the last thing he said to me before I boarded the train was to come to London and do things I never would otherwise. So I guess going to your parties and clubs would fit that perfectly.” </p><p>“Yes, it would,” Crowley said, agreeing without thinking. Of course someone as bright and beautiful and perfect as Aziraphale would have a boyfriend. Of <i>course</i> he would. How could Crowley have been so stupid? Suddenly, all Crowley wanted to do was get drunk. Rip-roaringly, blindingly drunk. Maybe that would help him feel a little better. But he couldn’t. Not with Aziraphale here.</p><p>“So I say let’s go,” Aziraphale said brightly, oblivious to Crowley’s turmoil. “I’ll go to the parties, like you want, and maybe we can go to one or two of the clubs, too.”</p><p>“You don’t have to, angel. We can just stay in and rent a movie, if you’d like. Just the two of us.”</p><p>“That can be our fallback plan,” Aziraphale said with a smile, as if the matter were settled. “So, what time should we be at the party tonight? And what should I wear?”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div><i>December, 1999</i><p>Aziraphale sat in the corner of Tadfield’s pub, the Fox and Badger, sipping a cider and waiting for Crowley. He didn’t like beer, he much preferred wine, but, well, a male drinking wine in this establishment would attract more attention than he was comfortable with. He hadn’t seen his best friend since they’d happened to be home the same weekend in October. They still talked every day over ICQ, but it wasn’t the same as seeing him face to face, and Aziraphale was terribly excited for tonight. </p><p>He looked up hopefully every time the door to the pub opened, but was disappointed each time until suddenly, there he was. Aziraphale felt himself light up at the sight of Crowley, and he took a guilty moment to look him over. He was as long and lean as ever, dressed stylishly in all dark colors, the light of the pub’s neon signs making his shoulder-length hair glow fiery red. He was looking around the pub for Aziraphale, who waved to get his attention. When he saw Aziraphale, his face broke into a wide smile and he sauntered over to the booth, his hips swaying like a pendulum. Aziraphale tried to look away, but he couldn’t. </p><p>“Hi, angel!” he said when he got close enough to be heard, and Aziraphale’s attention was snapped away when he flopped elegantly into the seat across from Aziraphale, still grinning brightly. </p><p>“Hello, yourself,” Aziraphale replied, beaming with happiness to see his best friend. </p><p>“What are you drinking?”</p><p>“Just a cider.”</p><p>“Hmm. Is it any good?”</p><p>“If you like cider, it’s perfectly adequate.” </p><p>Crowley snorted. “Not exactly a ringing endorsement.” He flagged the waitress and said, “I’ll have a lager. Whatever’s on tap.” The waitress jotted it down, nodding, and turned to go get the drink. Aziraphale watched as Crowley watched her go appreciatively, eyes on her bum, and tamped down the flare of jealousy he felt. </p><p>When Crowley turned back around, he was smiling at Aziraphale. Aziraphale couldn’t help but smile in return. </p><p>“Your hair just keeps getting longer and longer,” Aziraphale remarked. </p><p>Crowley laughed, tossing his hair back over his shoulders in a devastatingly attractive way, making Aziraphale’s pulse spike. </p><p>“Tends to do that when you don’t see a barber for a year.”</p><p>“Has it been that long?”</p><p>“I last cut it last autumn, so yeah, a little over a year.”</p><p>“What does your mother say about it?”</p><p>Crowley gave a nod of thanks to the waitress and accepted his lager, then took a sip, smacking his lips in pleasure. “She doesn’t mind the hair so much, but she’s not wild about the tattoo or piercings.”</p><p>Aziraphale’s eyes went wide. “Tattoos and piercings?”</p><p>Crowley tossed his hair again, deliberately, and Aziraphale saw them: small silver hoops in each ear. He’d never found earrings on men attractive before, but on Crowley, they were <i>sexy</i>.</p><p>“My goodness,” he said, picking up his cider and taking a sip before he said something stupid. When he recovered, he said, “And the tattoos?”</p><p>“Just one, and I just got it a couple of weeks ago, actually.” His yellow eyes glittered with mischief. “Bet you can’t guess what I got.”</p><p>It only took a second before the answer came to him. “A snake.”</p><p>Crowley grinned. “Good guess.”</p><p>“<i>Where</i> did you get it?” Aziraphale asked, his mind whirling with lusty thoughts. </p><p>“He curls around my bicep and up onto my shoulder. Black and red. I wanted to get a tiny snake tattoo on my face, just in front of my ear, but my girlfriend talked me out of it. Said it’d be a pain to cover every day when I join the corporate world.”</p><p>The word ‘girlfriend’ had stopped Aziraphale’s thoughts for a second, and he took a minute to process the rest of what Crowley had said. “Seems like good input,” he finally managed. “I didn’t know you had a girlfriend?”</p><p>“Hmm? Oh. Yeah. Jennifer. She’s nice, you’ll like her.”</p><p>“I’m sure any person who managed to win your heart must be very nice,” Aziraphale said, as diplomatically as he could with his insides roiling with jealousy. </p><p>Crowley laughed. “I wouldn’t say she’s captured my <i>heart</i>, but she certainly has my attention for now.”</p><p>“Yes, well,” Aziraphale said, for lack of anything better to say. </p><p>“I was just thinking the other day that I’d like you to meet her. Why don’t you and your bloke come down to London after first of the year, and we can double date for the weekend? Or at New Years? Provided the world doesn’t end,” he added with a smirk. “Gonna be a big party for Y2K, you know.”</p><p>“My bloke?”</p><p>“Yeah. Timothy or something.”</p><p>“Oh. Thomas. We, um, we split up a couple of months ago.”</p><p>Crowley’s eyes flashed. “Did he hurt you?”</p><p>“No, no. Not at all. We just… wanted different things, is all.”</p><p>That was mostly true. Dating Thomas had been fun, and Aziraphale had enjoyed his time with him, but he couldn’t help comparing Thomas to Crowley - and Thomas invariably came up short. He’d told himself he was being unfair, but couldn't seem to help himself. Finally, after several months of Thomas frustratingly <i>not</i> being Crowley, they’d broken things off. It had been a great relief, in some ways. </p><p>Returning to the conversation at hand, he said, “We still remain friends.”</p><p>“Well, that’s good, at least. Why didn’t you tell me?”</p><p>“I… I don’t know,” he lied. “It just seemed like the kind of thing you wouldn’t be interested in.” <i>Just like I’m not interested in hearing about this ‘Jennifer’</i>.</p><p>Crowley’s yellow eyes were earnest. “You can always tell me everything, angel. You know that, right?”</p><p><i>Not this,</i> Aziraphale thought morosely. And it was terribly, terribly sad. He and Crowley had always told each other everything, but now… now there seemed to be certain topics he didn’t dare broach. Aziraphale hated it, and wished fervently that things could go back to the way they’d always been. But he knew they couldn’t. Maybe this was just a part of growing up. He didn't know, but he <i>really</i> hated it.</p><p>He gave a smile he didn’t feel and hoped Crowley wouldn’t notice. “I know, dear. And you can always tell me anything. Best friends forever, right?”</p><p>Crowley smiled. “Right. We swore an oath and everything.”</p><p>“That’s right, we did,” Aziraphale agreed, refusing to think about the <i>other</i> pact they’d made. The hand he’d cut to make both oaths, his left, clenched in his lap involuntarily. </p><p>Crowley took a sip of his lager, oblivious to Aziraphale’s thoughts, and set the mug down. “Well, my offer to have you down to my flat in London still stands, with or without Thomas. If you don’t bring anyone with you, that’s okay. I’ll blow Jennifer off for the weekend and the two of us can celebrate the party of the millennium together. Yeah?”</p><p>“Are you sure she wouldn't mind being blown off in such a way? I know how sensitive some women can be…”</p><p>Crowley waved a disinterested hand. “She’ll get over it. So what do you say? Come down to London with me?”</p><p>“I’d love to,” Aziraphale answered honestly with a genuine smile.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div><i>February, 2001</i><p>Crowley opened the bottle of lager and took it to his desk, sitting it down then sitting himself. He had a paper due for his marketing midterm that he’d been putting off for a week, but it was due Friday and he needed to get himself in gear. He loaded winamp, put on some tunes, then turned the volume down low, so it could serve as white noise. Then he opened up his marketing textbook and dove in. </p><p>He was a few paragraphs in, making headway, when his instant messenger dinged. </p><p>AZFell80: Are you busy?</p><p>Crowley smiled to himself and abandoned the book at once. He hadn’t heard from Aziraphale in a couple of days. For his angel, he’d <i>make</i> time. </p><p>xXCrowleyXx: I’m here. What’s up?<br/>
AZFell80: How are you?<br/>
xXCrowleyXx: Fine, same as always. Working on midterms. You?<br/>
AZFell80: I’m very much the same.<br/>
xXCrowleyXx: School sucks, right? But at least we’re almost finished.<br/>
AZFell80: That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.</p><p>Crowley felt a thrill of dread, but did his best to push it aside. </p><p>xXCrowleyXx: What’s up?<br/>
AZFell80: Well, I know we’ve been planning for years for me to move to London after graduation and for us to get a flat together, and I very much still want to do that…</p><p>Crowley’s heart was pounding in his chest unpleasantly. </p><p>xXCrowleyXx: But?<br/>
AZFell80: I think I need to delay the plan by two years. I’ve decided to get my masters.</p><p>“Fuck!” he shouted, slamming his hand onto his desk. “Goddammit!” He’d been waiting <i>years</i> for this! He’d been patient! He’d even stayed single after his relationship with Daniel had ended in December, so he could enact his plan! Been living as a goddamn monk, he had! “Fuck, fuck, <i>fuck!</i>”</p><p>He was apparently silent too long, raging to himself, because after a few minutes, Aziraphale sent another message. </p><p>AZFell80: Are you there?</p><p>Cursing under his breath, Crowley replied. </p><p>xXCrowleyXx: I’m here.<br/>
AZFell80: Are you terribly upset with me?</p><p>“<i>Yes</i>,” Crowley said loudly to the computer screen. He clenched his jaw and fought the stinging tears he could feel in his eyes. Dammit!</p><p>xXCrowleyXx: I’m disappointed, for sure.<br/>
AZFell80: I’m so sorry, dear. I truly am. But I was just granted a position in the classics department and a scholarship if I stayed to complete my masters. It would be madness to turn it down. </p><p>Crowley swiped angrily at the tears that had spilled against his will. </p><p>xXCrowleyXx: No, I suppose you can’t turn down an opportunity like that.<br/>
AZFell80: Do you forgive me?</p><p>Crowley closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then he opened them and typed his reply. </p><p>xXCrowleyXx: There’s nothing I wouldn’t forgive of you, angel. You know that.<br/>
xXCrowleyXx: I’m disappointed, but I’ll get over it.<br/>
AZFell80: Would you still be willing to share a flat with me when I graduate in two years?</p><p>He didn’t hesitate a second before he replied. </p><p>xXCrowleyXx: Of course I would. Don’t be ridiculous.<br/>
AZFell80: Oh, good. I’m so happy to hear that.<br/>
AZFell80: We’ll still do as planned, just a little later. Yes?<br/>
xXCrowleyXx: Sure.<br/>
AZFell80: How are things going? Seeing anyone new?</p><p>Crowley was <i>not</i> in the mood for small talk right then, not even with Aziraphale. So he typed out a reply. </p><p>xXCrowleyXx: They’re fine. I’m still single since Daniel and I split. I’ve got to go, though. I have a paper to write and two exams to revise for.<br/>
AZFell80: Oh, quite right. You get back to that and I’ll talk to you again soon?<br/>
xXCrowleyXx: Sounds good, angel. Goodnight.</p><p>Then, without waiting for an answer, Crowley closed instant messenger, logged off his computer, got to his feet, went to the fridge, and drank all the alcohol he had in the flat. He didn’t speak to Aziraphale for two weeks.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div><i>April, 2003</i><p>Aziraphale waited impatiently for Crowley’s name to appear in the “online” section of his contacts. They didn’t talk as much these days, usually only a couple of times a week, but Aziraphale still had a rough idea of Crowley’s schedule. He was excited for the conversation he planned to have with Crowley tonight. In one month - one month from tomorrow, actually - he’d graduate with his masters from Oxford and finally - <i>finally</i> - he’d be free to move to London with Crowley the way he’d always planned. It had taken two years longer than he’d originally thought, but now the time was at hand. He could hardly wait. </p><p>He read a Shakespearean tragedy while he waited for Crowley to get online, just for something to do to occupy himself, until his computer chimed. He looked up hopefully, and smiled when he saw the green dot beside Crowley’s name. Putting his book aside, he typed out a message. </p><p>AZFell80: Hello! :D</p><p>Within seconds, he got a reply. </p><p>xXCrowleyXx: Hiya, angel. How are you?<br/>
AZFell80: I’m very well.<br/>
xXCrowleyXx: School going alright?<br/>
AZFell80: It is. Almost finished! :)<br/>
xXCrowleyXx: I’m glad for you :)</p><p>Aziraphale hesitated a moment, trying to think of the best way to phrase this next part. They hadn't actually discussed moving in together over the last year, and Aziraphale wasn’t entirely sure Crowley still <i>wanted</i> him to move in. He had hopes, but couldn’t be sure. Taking a deep breath, he positioned his fingers on the keyboard to say something, he wasn’t sure what, but before he got a chance, a message came in. </p><p>xXCrowleyXx: I’m glad you caught me. I have news.<br/>
AZFell80: Oh?<br/>
xXCrowleyXx: Yeah. I just found out today.<br/>
AZFell80: Found out what, dear?<br/>
xXCrowleyXx: I’m being transferred to the New York office, effective 1 July.</p><p>Aziraphale sat stunned for a minute, his eyes wide and jaw slack. All at once, all the plans he’d had for his future came tumbling down. Crowley was leaving the country? His mind swirled and he tried to come up with something to say. </p><p>AZFell80: Wow. That’s huge! Are you happy?<br/>
xXCrowleyXx: I guess. It’s a huge advancement in my career, especially to be as young as I am.<br/>
xXCrowleyXx: Bit nervous about it, to be honest. </p><p>Aziraphale was fighting tears, but trying desperately to be happy for his friend. </p><p>AZFell80: I imagine so! I’d be a ball of nerves about moving to another country.<br/>
xXCrowleyXx: I’ve visited the NY office a few times over the last two years, and it’s a nice place. I think I’ll fit in well there.<br/>
xXCrowleyXx: They wanted someone young and ambitious and unattached, and I fit the bill. So they asked me today and I accepted.<br/>
xXCrowleyXx: I got the impression that I didn’t have much of a choice but to accept. </p><p>A couple of tears splashed onto his cheeks, but he did his best to ignore them. </p><p>AZFell80: Well, I’m happy for you, dear. It seems like a tremendous opportunity.<br/>
xXCrowleyXx: Thanks. I’m excited, for the most part. Not looking forward to telling Mum, though.<br/>
AZFell80: No, I should think not.<br/>
xXCrowleyXx: So! What’s new with you?</p><p>“My heart is broken,” Aziraphale sniffed, morose. </p><p>AZFell80: Nothing much. Getting ready to graduate.<br/>
xXCrowleyXx: Got a job lined up?<br/>
AZFell80: No, not yet.<br/>
xXCrowleyXx: Don’t worry. You’re brilliant. Someone will hire you.<br/>
AZFell80: I hope you’re right.</p><p>He debated his next words for a minute before he sent them. </p><p>AZFell80: I know this is going to be an incredibly busy season for you, but do you think you might be able to eke out a few hours for an old friend before you leave?<br/>
xXCrowleyXx: Of course I can.<br/>
AZFell80: Oh, good.<br/>
xXCrowleyXx: You’re so ridiculous sometimes.<br/>
AZFell80: So you’ve always said. Wow. Moving to America! How long will you be there?<br/>
xXCrowleyXx: As far as I know, the move is permanent.</p><p>The broken pieces of Aziraphale’s heart shattered into even smaller pieces.</p><p>AZFell80: Well, congratulations! I’m truly very happy for you - if you’re happy. But I’ll miss you terribly.<br/>
xXCrowleyXx: I’m happy. And really, things won’t change *that* much. The internet is a wonderful thing.<br/>
AZFell80: It is, indeed.<br/>
xXCrowleyXx: I need to go. Have to ring Mum and break the news to her. But I’d like to see you before I leave, alright?<br/>
AZFell80: Of course. Whenever you have free time.<br/>
xXCrowleyXx: Great. Gotta go, before Mum goes to bed. Talk to you soon?<br/>
AZFell80: I hope so, dear. Goodnight, and congratulations again.<br/>
xXCrowleyXx: Thanks, and goodnight. </p><p>Aziraphale closed the lid of his laptop, staring off into space. Two tears formed and wobbled in his eyes, his lip quivered, then he folded his arms on his desk, lay his head down, and cried his heart out.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay... I'm here and I'm starting regular updates, effective today. On Monday, we'll move out of backstory and flash forward to the present, getting the story started properly. I'm starting to write chapter fourteen today. I hope you'll enjoy what I've done! I'm having the time of my life writing it.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I mentioned in the tags but I’ll put it here, too, just in case people didn’t see: this story is set in London in the summer of 2020, but we’re completely ignoring Covid-19. It doesn’t exist in this AU.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>Thursday, 23 July, 2020</i>
</p><p>It was a beautiful day in Soho, the kind of day that soaked into the skin and made everything better. Aziraphale was thoroughly enjoying the sunshine as he strolled down the pavement towards his friend Tracy’s tea shop for their weekly meetings. It wasn’t unusual for him to be in a good mood, since he very much enjoyed the afternoon teas with Tracy, but he did feel a little more buoyant than usual today. He smiled cheerfully at the people he passed, nodding a greeting to those he recognized, until he arrived at Tracy’s shop and pulled the door to admit himself. </p><p>At once, the unique smell of the shop filled his nose, and he took a deep sniff. Various aromatic teas mingled with the incense Tracy burned in the back room of her shop, where she housed her specialty, occult items, and it was cozy. Comforting. Aziraphale had been visiting Tracy in her shop and the two of them had been having tea once a week for nearly fifteen years, since they’d met at a gathering of Soho business owners. They’d become fast friends, and Aziraphale considered Tracy one of his closest confidants. He very much looked forward to Thursday afternoons, when they got together. </p><p>Aziraphale glanced around the cluttered tea shop and found Tracy at the counter. She smiled when she saw him, and he smiled in return, giving a little wave. She indicated that he should sit at their usual table, and he gave a nod, going there. </p><p>“Anathema,” he heard her say, “We’d like a pitcher of Earl Grey and some scones, please. At table forty-two.”</p><p>“Yes, ma’am,” Anathema replied, and Tracy left her behind the counter to join Aziraphale. </p><p>“Zira, my darling,” she said with a smile, as if she hadn’t seen him in months instead of a week.</p><p>He took her offered hands when she was close enough and placed a kiss to each cheek. “Good afternoon, Tracy, you’re looking as radiant as ever.”</p><p>“Oh, how you do run on. Won’t you sit?”</p><p>Aziraphale waited politely for her to have a seat, then sat across from her. “How are you?” </p><p>“I’m fine, just fine.” </p><p>He lowered his voice and leaned forward a bit, so as not to be overheard. “How are things with Anathema?”</p><p>Tracy rolled her eyes playfully. “She’s a dear, but she makes <i>dreadful</i> tea. It’s starting to get better, though. I suppose that’s what I get for hiring an American.”</p><p>“I’m sure the tea will be perfectly fine, so long as she doesn’t drop it in the harbor,” he replied with twinkling eyes. </p><p>“Yes, that would be unfortunate,” Tracy laughed. </p><p>“But you told me when you hired her that she was brilliant in the back, with the occult things.”</p><p>“Oh, she is. An invaluable resource. She’s just too American to make proper tea. I’m afraid to try to teach her to bake scones.”</p><p>Aziraphale chuckled appropriately. </p><p>“How’s your young man working out? Norman or something?”</p><p>“Newton, or Newt. And he’s doing well, so long as I keep him working solely with the books and don’t ask him to do anything mechanical.”</p><p>“Oh? Is he not mechanically inclined?”</p><p>“Not at <i>all</i>. He’s brought down my register four times this week, trying to do refunds. He insisted that he wasn’t doing anything and it was simply that all electronics hate him, so I observed him closely yesterday as he did a return. So far as I can tell, he really <i>isn’t</i> doing anything wrong, he just has rotten luck.”</p><p>“That’s unfortunate,” Tracy said with a frown. “Are you going to keep him?”</p><p>“I think so. He’s very good with customers, and seems to be able to ring them up just fine. It’s just the more complicated tasks that go awry. I can handle those. He’s got a gift for organization that I don’t possess, and I think he’ll be very valuable to have around. I feel confident that he’ll be able to open or close by himself in the very near future, which will be a relief. I just have to protect my computers. He won’t be able to help with inputting inventory into the system, I suppose. I’ll have to do that myself.”</p><p>“Perish the thought,” Tracy said with a grin. </p><p>Anathema appeared with a tray laden with a pot of tea, two teacups, and a plateful of scones. </p><p>“Yes, thank you, Anathema. Can you just man the counter for a bit while I take a break?”</p><p>“Sure thing!” Anathema chirped, and flounced off to the front counter. </p><p>“She seems friendly enough,” Aziraphale remarked, watching her go. </p><p>“She is, very friendly. It’s her saving grace. That and her occult skills.”</p><p>Tracy poured their tea, chatting lightly about nothing, and Aziraphale accepted his teacup with a smile of thanks. He pulled one of the scones onto his little plate - cherry today - and spread the cream and jam before he picked it up, taking a bite. </p><p>“Mmm,” he groaned in pleasure, closing his eyes, letting the flavor burst over his tongue. “I don’t know how you do it, Tracy, but your scones get better every time I visit,” he said, the same as he did during every tea time.</p><p>“I’m glad you approve.”</p><p>“Really, you must give me the recipe, dear,” he chided for the thousandth time, smiling because he knew what she’d say. </p><p>She didn’t disappoint. “If I did that, you’d have no incentive to come back, now would you, Zira?”</p><p>“One day, I’ll convince you,” he predicted with a warm smile, completing their little play. He didn’t care if he ever really got the recipe or not, he just enjoyed the banter. </p><p>“Perhaps so.”</p><p>“How is your dear husband?” Aziraphale asked politely. “I feel as if I haven't seen him the last few times I’ve been in here to visit.”</p><p>“Oh, he’s fine. Keeping busy.”</p><p>“Still doing odd jobs?”</p><p>“Yes, and things are always busier in the spring and summer. People are more likely to take on a home improvement project during the warm months.”</p><p>“Is home improvement all he does?” </p><p>“Oh, no. He has a couple of fairly well-to-do clients that he’ll do lots of types of jobs for. Regular clients, you understand.”</p><p>“I do.”</p><p>“But he <i>does</i> put an advert in the paper for handyman type jobs in the spring and summer, when people are needing help.”</p><p>“It’s good that he keeps so busy.”</p><p>Tracy laughed merrily. “It keeps him out of my hair, anyway.”</p><p>Aziraphale chuckled. “I still don’t quite understand how you two ended up together. A self-proclaimed witchfinder and you, a medium.” </p><p>Her eyes were twinkling. “We were neighbors, you know. And I guess you could say I wore him down over the years. I killed him with kindness, as it were.”</p><p>He swallowed his sip of tea and smiled. “If there was ever anyone who could win a man’s heart by being unfailingly kind, it’s you, dear.”</p><p>Tracy flushed and waved her hand airily. “Oh, stop.”</p><p>“It’s true. You’re one of the kindest people I know. I can see how he was won.”</p><p>“You’re too kind, Zira. More tea?”</p><p>“Oh, yes please.”</p><p>She poured him another cup of tea and he helped himself to another scone. So far, their afternoon had been like any other. Their time together could almost be scripted, but Aziraphale liked that. It was familiar. Comfortable. Predictable. But if past were prologue, Tracy was likely to start gently nagging him in just a moment. It usually started around the second cup of tea. </p><p>“So,” she said, her eyes on pouring the milk into the tea. “Have you given any thought to --”</p><p>“No,” he cut her off succinctly. </p><p>Tracy pursed her lips at him. “Now, Zira,” she began. </p><p>“I said no, Tracy, dear. No offense, but I have no desire to meet this Jacob fellow.”</p><p>“Oh, I wasn’t going to try to introduce you to <i>him</i>.”</p><p>Aziraphale’s eyes widened a little in surprise. “You weren’t?”</p><p>“No, I wasn’t. I was going to try to introduce you to someone <i>else</i>.”</p><p>He sighed, tilting his head back to turn his face to the heavens and closing his eyes, as if beseeching God herself. He should have known. Tracy seemed personally offended by his perpetually single state, and wasn’t happy unless she was suggesting ‘the perfect man’ for him. </p><p>“Tracy, my dear...” he started but she cut him off, her hands raised. </p><p>“Just let me tell you about him?”</p><p>“I can’t imagine anything you could tell me that would make me interested in dating him.”</p><p>Tracy pouted lightly. “You won’t even let me <i>tell</i> you about him?”</p><p>Aziraphale fought the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Alright, fine. Tell me about him. And then I’ll say no again.”</p><p>Tracy was undaunted and rushed into her spiel with a smile. “He’s rich, first of all. And handsome as sin.”</p><p>“I don’t care about money and it matters much more to me what a person is like on the inside, dear.”</p><p>“Yes, I know, but those are important qualities to most people. And he’s not only handsome and rich, he’s very nice. Mysterious, but nice.”</p><p>“How do you know this man?”</p><p>“Shadwell works for him. He’s a regular client.”</p><p>“I see. And how do you know that he’s interested in men? I haven’t forgotten the ‘date’ with your neighbor, where he spent the whole evening calling me ‘mate’ and flirting with the waitress.”</p><p>She looked affronted. “That was an honest mistake.”</p><p>“I know, I know. It was an accident. But I’m sure you’ll understand that I’m not eager to repeat the experience.”</p><p>“No, of course not. But <i>this</i> man is interested in men.”</p><p>“How do you <i>know</i> he’s not straight?”</p><p>“Shadwell says he’s sure. I didn’t ask how he’s so sure, but I’ve met him several times, and I’ve seen no evidence that he <i>isn’t</i> interested in men.”</p><p>He wanted to ask what kind of evidence she was looking for, but let it pass. “Alright, let’s assume you’re right and he is gay, or at least bisexual. How do you know he’s <i>single</i>?”</p><p>“Shadwell has been to his flat loads of times, working. He’s never seen any evidence of any romantic partner. He says it’s definitely a bachelor residence.” </p><p>“Hmm,” Aziraphale said, pretending to consider this.</p><p>Tracy rushed in. “You two would get along famously, I just know it. He’s just your type.”</p><p>Aziraphale couldn’t help but laugh. “You’ve said that about every man you’ve suggested to me.”</p><p>“This time I mean it.”</p><p>“You said you’ve only met him a handful of times. You can’t possibly know him that well.”</p><p>“Well, I certainly know you <i>better</i>, but I'm quite sure you’ll get on. I have a sixth sense about these types of things.” </p><p>Aziraphale pressed his lips together to keep from saying the things that sprung to mind that might insult his friend. </p><p>“So will you meet him?” she asked hopefully. </p><p>“I don’t think so, dear.”</p><p>“But -”</p><p>He held up a hand to stop her words. “You’re very kind to worry about my mental and emotional well being, but I’m not at all unhappy with my life as it is… even if my love life is a bit bleak. If it’s meant to be, I’ll meet Mr. Right some day.”</p><p>“But you could be meeting him now! You have no way of knowing that David isn’t Mr. Right.”</p><p>“That’s a chance I’m willing to take,” he said with a small smile. “Now, let’s talk of something else. Are you planning to attend the next Soho Businesspersons’ Association meeting? Would you like to go together?”</p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div>An hour later, the bells over the door to AZ Fell &amp; Co. jingled as Aziraphale let himself into the shop. He smiled at the customer who looked up at the sound and gave them a nod, then went to the counter to greet Newt. <p>“Well, the shop is still standing, so well done, you,” he teased. </p><p>Newt’s cheeks colored. “I’m not <i>that</i> bad.”</p><p>Aziraphale smiled kindly. “No, you’re not. I’m only teasing. Were you busy while I was away?”</p><p>“We had a fair amount of foot traffic, but nobody bought anything.”</p><p>“Sounds like a light day,” Aziraphale said with a smile. </p><p>Newt nodded. “Yes, it seems so. How was your tea with Madam Tracy?”</p><p>“Very nice. Same as always, really.”</p><p>Newt’s cheeks reddened further. “Was - was Anathema there?”</p><p>“She was. She made the tea.”</p><p>Newt looked pleased by that, and Aziraphale smiled knowingly. “Perhaps sometime over the next week or so, you and I could call down to Tracy’s shop and order breakfast for ourselves. You’d have to go pick it up, of course.”</p><p>The boy’s face shone with excitement. “Yeah! I could do that!”</p><p>“Well, we’ll just have to do that one day soon. But for now, I think I’m going to retire to the back room to work on inventory. Can you hold down the fort?”</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>Aziraphale patted his arm. “Thank you, Newt. I have no idea what I’d do without you. I’ll be in the back if you need me.”</p><p>He turned to walk towards the back room and had gotten almost halfway there when he heard Newt call out, “Oh! Mr. Fell! I almost forgot. You had a visitor.”</p><p>Aziraphale turned around, one brow raised in question. “I did?”</p><p>“Yes,” Newt nodded. “A man dressed all in black. With sunglasses.”</p><p>“Well that’s not half mysterious. Did he give his name, or what he wanted?”</p><p>“He just said that he was a friend of yours and he’d come back this evening, before closing.”</p><p>“Interesting. Well, if he comes back, please let me know, would you?”</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>Aziraphale gave him a smile, then left. A man dressed all in black who wouldn’t leave his name and claimed to be a ‘friend’? He thought he knew what <i>that</i> was about. Someone popped up every couple of years, it seemed, trying to convince Aziraphale to sell his shop. Sometimes they tried to bribe him, sometimes they tried intimidation. It never worked. He’d bought this place fifteen years ago, using part of his share of his mother’s inheritance, and had no intention of leaving. It was the only home he’d known as an adult, and he loved every brick of this building. Aziraphale rather thought he’d like to grow old and die here. He sighed to himself. Hopefully, this new ‘friend’ that wanted to buy his property wouldn’t take up too much of his time. </p><p>Putting that thought to the side, he set to work going through the boxes of new inventory, scanning them into the system and placing them on the cart for Newt to shelve them. It was busy work, mindless, which he frequently felt he needed after a visit with Tracy. As she so often did, she’d put <i>thoughts</i> in his head that he needed to sort through. </p><p>It had been more than three years since Aziraphale had split with Simon, his last serious romantic partner. Since then, Tracy had been doing her level best to get him ‘coupled up’, as she called it. He’d given into her pestering twice, and both times, he’d regretted it almost instantly and swore never to do it again. But her words gave him pause. He <i>was</i> going to be forty next month, and it <i>did</i> seem as if the chance for romantic happiness were passing him by. He was becoming the thing he’d long feared - the male version of an old spinster. But that wasn’t the end of the world, was it? </p><p>Maybe he <i>should</i> let Tracy set him up on a date with this David fellow. Maybe the third time was the charm. And even if he <i>didn’t</i> let her set him up, maybe he should put some effort into finding someone on his own. Aziraphale wasn’t an adonis, but he wasn’t <i>entirely</i> unfortunate looking. It wasn’t out of the realm of possibility that someone might find him attractive. </p><p>Aziraphale shook his head to clear it. <i>No.</i> Visiting with Tracy frequently gave him these doubts, but he really shouldn’t entertain them. He had a good life, a comfortable life. If it was meant to be for him to meet someone, he would. He hadn’t been to church for many, many years, since his mother had passed, but he still had a good relationship with God, he thought. If it was Her will for him not to be alone, he wouldn't be. Someone would come walking through the door and that would be that. It was all in God’s hands. He’d be happy either way. </p><p>Pushing aside those thoughts, he buried himself in his work, focusing his attention on unpacking the boxes and scanning the books in. When he finished with that, he went to his desk and sat down behind his computer, browsing the publisher’s listings for titles to stock. Before he knew it, Newt was sticking his head in the back room. </p><p>“Mr. Fell?”</p><p>“Yes, Newt?”</p><p>“That guy is back. The one who said he was your friend.”</p><p>Aziraphale sighed. “Very well. I’ll come out and deal with him.” He glanced at the clock: it was fifteen minutes til closing time. “If you’d like, you can take off a little early and I’ll close up for you.”</p><p>Newt smiled brightly. “Thanks, Mr. Fell.”</p><p>“Don’t mention it. He’s in all black, you said?” Aziraphale asked, getting to his feet. </p><p>“Yeah. And sunglasses.”</p><p>“Very good. Off you pop. I’ll see you tomorrow.”</p><p>“Bye!”</p><p>Aziraphale took a minute once he was gone to square his shoulders and blow out his breath. He rocked his head from side to side, popping his neck, then plastered on a bland, pleasant expression and emerged from the back room to meet this ‘friend.’</p><p>The man was standing at the cash wrap with his back to Aziraphale. He was tall and lean, dressed in all black as Newt had said, with fiery red hair. There was something familiar about him, and Aziraphale narrowed his eyes a bit. </p><p>“Can I help you?” he asked, suddenly wary.</p><p>The man turned around, giving Aziraphale a brilliant smile, and said, “Hello, angel.”</p><p>Aziraphale gasped. “<i>Crowley</i>?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><i>I never see you in the waking world, we make an effort to avoid each other</i><br/><i>But every night we penetrate the veil where everybody acts like sister and brother</i><br/><i>You’ll never speak the words in broad daylight, they’re much too delicate and too naive</i><br/><i>But everybody’s been a witness sometime - it doesn’t change it if you don’t believe</i><br/><i>So go on and dance, go on and sing, someday soon you’ll hear that little bell ring</i><br/><i>And you’ll remember me - we had a Secret Society.</i><br/>~TR</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aziraphale was stunned, more stunned than he could ever remember being. <i>Crowley</i> was <i>here</i>? He almost didn’t believe his eyes and blinked them owlishly, his mouth a round ‘o’ of surprise. </p><p>“Is it really you?” he asked, dumbfounded. </p><p>“It’s really me, live and in person,” Crowley said, still smiling. </p><p>Aziraphale let out a huff of a laugh and stepped forward to embrace his old friend. “It’s so good to see you!” he said, his arms around Crowley. </p><p>Crowley squeezed him. “It’s good to see you, too, angel.”</p><p>They pulled apart, Aziraphale’s hands gripping Crowley’s upper arms, taking him in. His hair was just as red as it had always been, but short and artfully tousled. His clothes were dark and very fitted, but stylish, and he was sporting sunglasses that hid his eyes. There were a few more lines on his face than there had been the last time he’d seen him, but they only made him more handsome, Aziraphale thought. Very quickly, he shoved that thought aside.</p><p>“You haven’t changed a bit," he said, stepping back to a respectful distance.</p><p>Crowley laughed. “Neither have you.”</p><p>“What’s it been, ten years since we saw each other last?”</p><p>“Twelve,” Crowley supplied. “And then we only had time for dinner.”</p><p>“Well you’re certainly a sight for sore eyes. How long are you in town?”</p><p>“Permanently,” he said with a grin. “I moved back to London a few days ago.”</p><p>“You’re kidding!” Aziraphale said excitedly. “That’s wonderful news!”</p><p>“I hoped you’d see it that way. Good surprise?”</p><p>“The <i>best</i> surprise. Are you free this evening? You simply <i>must</i> let me take you to dinner so we can catch up. Facebook updates just aren’t enough to go on.”</p><p>Crowley grinned. “Not like you ever post on Facebook, anyway. But that’s why I came by. I was hoping to tempt you into dinner.”</p><p>“Well, temptation accomplished,” Aziraphale said with a wiggle. “Oh, Crowley, it is <i>so</i> good to see you again, face to face.”</p><p>“It’s wonderful to see you, too, angel. Better than.”</p><p>Aziraphale just smiled at him for a moment, before he realized what he was meant to be doing. “Oh! Can you stick around long enough for me to close up? It will only take a few minutes. I just have to count the deposit and put it in the safe. Everything else can wait.”</p><p>“I’m yours for as long as you want me, Aziraphale,” Crowley said with an expansive smile. </p><p>Aziraphale couldn’t help a little flush at that. “Let me get the till counted and I’ll be ready to go. You can browse if you’d like. I want you to make yourself entirely at home. I’ll be ready in two shakes.”</p><p>“I’ll be here,” Crowley promised, and Aziraphale gave him one more smile before he opened the till and started to count it, finding himself in much more of a hurry than usual.</p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div>Crowley pretended to browse the shop, picking up random books and leafing through them without looking at the pages. His eyes were locked on Aziraphale, and he was grateful for the shades that allowed him to stare. The years had been kind and Aziraphale looked good. Damned good. Crowey let his gaze travel up and down Aziraphale from behind the glasses. Aziraphale was wearing tan trousers with a mushroom-colored waistcoat. The sleeves of his blue shirt were rolled up, exposing his forearms, and his shirt was open at the collar.  He appeared to be just a little softer than he had been twelve years ago, but Crowley liked it. From where he was standing, Aziraphale looked devastatingly sexy. The few photos he’d posted on Facebook over the last ten years or so hadn’t done him justice. He’d always been beautiful in Crowley’s mind, but now, here and in person, he was <i>breathtaking</i>. <p>A couple of minutes later, Aziraphale closed the till and looked over at Crowley with a smile. “I just need to drop this in the safe in the back, then we can go.”</p><p>“I’ll be here,” Crowley said again, with a smile. </p><p>When Aziraphale disappeared into the back room, Crowley blew out a huge breath and looked skyward, sending up a prayer to a deity he hadn’t communed with in years for things to go according to plan. So much as there <i>was</i> a plan. </p><p>Aziraphale reappeared a minute later, keys in hand. “Ready?”</p><p>Crowley reshelved the book he’d been pretending to read. “I’m ready.”</p><p>“Let’s go.”</p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div>They decided on a little bistro near the shop for dinner. Aziraphale seemed familiar with the staff, and they were seated quickly at a table on a little veranda. Aziraphale thanked the hostess and Crowley gave her a smile as they both sat down and opened the menu. <p>“What’s good here?” Crowley asked, eyes running over the menu without seeing much of it.</p><p>“Oh, <i>everything</i> I’ve had has been scrummy. I’ve never had anything I didn’t like. What are you in the mood for?”</p><p>“I dunno.”</p><p>“I think I’m going to have the spinach ravioli. It’s heavenly.”</p><p>“I think I’ll have the same,” Crowley said with a smile, not really caring what he ate. That wasn’t even close to the most important part of this meal. </p><p>Aziraphale smiled in return and laid his menu down. “I have so many questions for you, dear. My mind is such a jumble! I scarcely know where to begin!”</p><p>Crowley laughed. “I don’t either, honestly. I guess first I should ask, how are you?”</p><p>“I’m good!”</p><p>“You look well.”</p><p>“Thank you. You do, too.”</p><p>“The shop seems to be going strong. The last time I was here, it was fairly new.”</p><p>“The shop is doing very well. I’ve done a tidy business, keeping myself quite busy. But I love it. It’s very fulfilling.”</p><p>“I imagine so. Unlimited reading materials? That’s the perfect job for my angel.”</p><p>He felt a thrill at his own boldness and another when Aziraphale smiled sheepishly. “Yes, just so. But what about you? What brings you back to London? You’ve spent the last decade and a half in New York?”</p><p>“Yes, I’ve been living in New York and working for the same marketing firm. It was seventeen years this month.”</p><p>“What made you decide to come back to London? Were you transferred?”</p><p>“No, I got homesick, if you can believe it. I came to visit mum once a year at Christmas and would fly her to New York to visit me every spring, but she’s getting on in years and making the trip was getting to be harder for her. Plus, she would lay the guilt whammy down on me at least once a month about how she missed her only son and so on. I’d been thinking of moving back here for the last few years, but never really put a lot of effort into looking for a job, until about six months ago when I made up my mind I wanted to come home. I saw a job posted a couple of months ago at Daemon Marketing here in London for better pay, better benefits, and a higher-ranking position. I applied on a whim, and they called me two days later for a phone interview. They flew me over for an in-person interview a week later, and then a week after <i>that</i> they offered me the job.”</p><p>“Well that sounds like perfect serendipity, dear,” Aziraphale said with a smile that made Crowley feel a little fuzzy. “I’m so glad things worked out that way.”</p><p>“Me, too, angel.”</p><p>They were interrupted by the waiter coming to take their orders. That done, they handed their menus over and when the waiter left, turned back to each other, smiling. </p><p>“Christ, it’s good to see you,” Crowley said. “I’ve missed you so much, angel.”</p><p>“I don’t know how you’ve had time to miss me,” Aziraphale teased. “It seemed every time I checked my social media, you were on some kind of adventure.”</p><p>Crowley grinned. “Yes, I’ve traveled a fair amount. I’ve wanted to live while I was young.”</p><p>“Where all have you been?” Aziraphale asked, taking a sip of his water. </p><p>“Oh, all over. I’ve been to Egypt and Australia and China and Japan. Africa was lovely.”</p><p>“For business or pleasure?”</p><p>“A mix of both. Sometimes, I’d go somewhere for business and enjoy it so much, I’d come back later for pleasure.”</p><p>“Where have you <i>not</i> been that you’d like to go?”</p><p>“Rome,” Crowley answered at once. “And Paris and Greece. For all my traveling, I haven’t been in Europe much.”</p><p>“Well, it’s been a great pleasure watching your adventures from afar, on Facebook.”</p><p>Crowley grinned. “Meanwhile, you’ve been very quiet on social media. Not much of a poster, are you?”</p><p>“Well, when your life is as boring as mine, you don’t have much <i>to</i> post.”</p><p>“Aziraphale Fell, you’ve never been boring a day in your life.”</p><p>Aziraphale laughed. “I’ve <i>always</i> been boring, dear. It was only you that didn’t think so. Your mother is excited that you’re home?”</p><p>“She’s over the moon. She wishes I’d move back to Tadfield, of course, but she’s willing to settle for me being an hour and a half away.” He lowered his voice slightly and said in a more serious tone, “She told me how you’ve checked up on her, even after your mum died. I can’t thank you enough.”</p><p>“Oh, Crowley, you never have to thank me for that. You know I love your mother.”</p><p>“I know, and I’m grateful.”</p><p>“She’s well? The last I spoke with her, she was having trouble with her knees.”</p><p>“She still is. Eventually, she’ll have to get them replaced, but she’s stubborn to a fault. You know how she is.”</p><p>Aziraphale smiled fondly. “I do.”</p><p>“But overall, she’s thrilled that her baby boy is home for good.”</p><p>“I can empathize. I’m thrilled, too.”</p><p>Crowley felt a tingle of excitement rush all over him, but tried to tamp it down. “Speaking of family, how are your shithead brothers?” he asked, picking up his water to take a sip. </p><p>Aziraphale laughed, his eyes twinkling. “They’re fine. Sandy lives in Tadfield with his wife and twin daughters, and Gabriel lives here in London with <i>his</i> wife and three children.”</p><p>“Are they still arseholes?”</p><p>“They’ve mellowed quite a bit, particularly Gabriel. He and I are even somewhat close. I have dinner with him and his family every other Sunday evening, and the two of us go to lunch sometimes. He’s not what he used to be.”</p><p>“I’ll take your word for it,” Crowley said, still a bit wary of Aziraphale’s older brothers after all these years.</p><p>“I’m less close with Sandy, and we only really see each other on holidays. But I doubt you’ll want to be bosom buddies with either of them.”</p><p>“You guessed right. Too much torment when we were kids.” </p><p>“They really are much better now, though, dear. Gabriel even apologized to me once for the way he and Sandy treated me when we were younger. Well, they way they treated <i>us</i>. I know he was less than kind to you, as well.”</p><p>“Yeah, but you bore the brunt of it.”</p><p>“I suppose that’s what younger brothers do,” Aziraphale said with a small smile. </p><p>Crowley took another sip of his water, steeling himself for the big question. The one he’d upended his life to get an answer to and hung his future on.</p><p>As casually as he could with his heart in his throat, he asked, “So what about your personal life? Have you married? Settled down?”</p><p>“Me? Oh, no. No, I’m perpetually single, it seems. Haven’t had a boyfriend in a little over three years, in fact.”</p><p>Some of the tension left Crowley’s body, and he felt like punching the air. He couldn’t stop his lip from quirking up at the corner, and hoped Aziraphale didn’t notice. </p><p>“I’m sorry to hear that,” he lied. “Do you date much?”</p><p>“No, much to the regret of my friends. I just… I don’t know. I’m hesitant to put myself out there. I suppose I <i>should</i>, there’s <i>bound</i> to be someone out there for me, but I haven’t found him yet. I keep finding life lessons, instead,” he said with a laugh. “What about you? Did you bring anyone with you to London?”</p><p>“Nah. I haven’t dated anyone seriously in several years. My last ‘serious’ relationship was five or six years ago or so. Since then, I’ve only dated casually.”</p><p>“Don’t want to get tied down?” Aziraphale asked with a grin. </p><p><i>Oh, you don’t know how wrong you are,</i> Crowley thought. </p><p>Out loud, he said, “I just haven’t met anyone that I wanted to be tied <i>to</i>. No one has really held my interest.”</p><p>“Well, maybe a change of venue will be good for you in that respect. There are something like nine million people in the London metro area. Someone is likely to catch your eye.”</p><p><i>Someone already has,</i> he thought, giving Aziraphale another up and down look from behind his glasses. </p><p>Aziraphale tilted his head to the side, the way he always had when they were kids and something puzzled him. The familiarity made Crowley’s heart clutch. </p><p>“Why are you wearing sunglasses?” he asked. </p><p>“Because the Americans would tend to get really freaked out by yellow eyes,” he replied easily. “I started wearing them all the time when I’m in public and it just kind of became my thing.”</p><p>“They make you look very mysterious,” Aziraphale said with a teasing grin. </p><p>Crowley laughed. “That’s me. International man of mystery. Like Austin Powers, but with better teeth.”</p><p>Aziraphale joined his laughter. “Oh, I haven’t thought of that film in <i>years</i>.”</p><p>“I remember it fondly. One of the last films you and I went to see at the cinema before we went to uni.”</p><p>“Yes! I remember. That was the night you got into a scuffle with Justin Daniels over Whitney Denberry.”</p><p>“Oh, God, that twat, Justin,” Crowley groaned with a smile. “I could have lived the rest of my life without thinking of <i>him</i>.”</p><p>Aziraphale’s eyes were twinkling. “Well, you’ll be pleased to know that he came into the shop a couple of years ago. He’s fat and bald now. Looks much, much older than his years.”</p><p>Crowley cackled. “It couldn’t have happened to a bigger arsehole.”</p><p>Just then, the waiter appeared with their meals: two steaming platters of spinach ravioli in a white sauce, covered in cheese. Aziraphale thanked the waiter kindly, then Crowley watched as he leaned over and took a deep, appreciative sniff. </p><p>“It looks good,” Crowley said, unrolling his silverware and laying his napkin across his lap. </p><p>“Wait until you taste it,” Aziraphale said with a grin, picking up his fork. Crowley smiled at him, picking up his own fork. </p><p>...And nearly dropped it when he heard Aziraphale moan around his bite of food. <i>Jesus.</i> He hadn’t heard such a sound outside a bedroom or porno in <i>years</i>. With sudden, crystalline clarity, Crowley remembered fighting adolescent erections in eating establishments whenever Aziraphale would eat something he found especially delicious. Bloody hell. How had he forgotten <i>that</i>?</p><p>Aziraphale opened his eyes, still chewing, a smile curving the corners of his mouth. “So delicious. How are you finding yours, dear?”</p><p>“Huh? Oh. Very good,” Crowley said, even though his first bite was still on his fork. </p><p>Aziraphale smiled, then speared another bite. Crowley shoved his own bite into his mouth to keep himself from saying something stupid. When the next little moan came, he closed his eyes and concentrated on willing away his sudden hard-on. </p><p>“Have you started your new job?” Aziraphale asked, oblivious to Crowley’s turmoil. </p><p>Crowley grasped the change of subject like a lifeline. “I did, I started Monday. I wanted to come see you sooner, but the first few days were hectic.”</p><p>“I imagine so. Will the hours always be long?”</p><p>“Well, I’m an executive, so my hours are always going to be a bit longer than most. Unless I’m tied up to a deadline or something, I imagine I’ll be working about fifty to sixty hours a week.”</p><p>There was a little crease between Aziraphale’s brows. “That seems like an awful lot…”</p><p>“It’s about the same as what you work, if your hours of operation are to be believed.”</p><p>“But that’s different!”</p><p>“How so?”</p><p>“My job isn’t <i>nearly</i> as demanding, with such high stress and pressure as yours must have.”</p><p>“It’s just different, angel. That’s all. Only different. I’m sure you have your stresses, too. I still have plenty of time to do the things I want to do. Like tonight, here, with you.”</p><p>Aziraphale gave a small, pleased smile. “Well, as long as you don’t let them work you into an early grave…”</p><p>“Cross my heart, I won’t,” he replied, making an X over his chest with a disarming smile. Aziraphale smiled in return, a little pink high on his cheeks, and went back to his meal. </p><p>“So have you found a place in London, or are you staying at a hotel?”</p><p>“I found a place, temporarily. I’ve sublet a flat in Mayfair.”</p><p>“Mayfair,” Aziraphale said, sounding impressed. “That’s posh.”</p><p>“It’s nice. The flat came furnished, which was a boon, even if the furnishings aren’t exactly my style. But it meant that I could just sell all my belongings in New York and come here with just my clothes and a couple of boxes of personal items.”</p><p>“That must have been very hard, to sell off everything you owned,” Aziraphale said, that little line back between his brows. </p><p>“Nah,” Crowley shrugged. “My apartment in New York was never really ‘home’ to me. It was little more than a place to sleep. I wasn’t overly attached to anything in there, except my plants. But I had to get rid of them, too.”</p><p>“Your plants?”</p><p>“Yes. I discovered about ten years ago that I very much like taking care of plants. My place in New York was full of them. About forty, when I left.”</p><p>“Well, you could knock me over with a feather. I don’t think I ever would have expected Anthony Crowley to take up botany.”</p><p>Crowley grinned. “I stumbled into it by accident. I had this girlfriend who was trying to make more of herself than I cared for her to be. She kept subtly trying to move things into my apartment, worming her way in. She brought a couple of spider plants over there, and I enjoyed them, so I kept them when I got rid of the girlfriend.”</p><p>Aziraphale chuckled. “Well, I suppose the relationship wasn’t a <i>total</i> loss, then.”</p><p>“No, I suppose not,” Crowley said with a grin. God, he’d forgotten how much he enjoyed just <i>talking</i> to Aziraphale, about anything. He swore in that moment to never let them grow apart again. </p><p>“How about you? I assume you still live over the shop?”</p><p>“I do. It came with the building, so it just makes sense to live there. I very much love my flat, even if it is a bit big just for me.”</p><p>“Well, perhaps you need to take on a flatmate.”</p><p>“Oh, I don’t know that I need to go <i>that</i> far. I have my books, after all.”</p><p>Crowley smiled. “You and your books. Some things never change.”</p><p>“No, they certainly don’t.”</p><p>He picked at his food for a minute, trying to work up the nerve to ask the next question he needed to enact his plan. He took a deep breath, swallowed hard then smiled at Aziraphale. </p><p>“So, angel, I was wondering…”</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“Since I just moved back to town, I don’t know anyone. I’m essentially a stranger in a strange land.”</p><p>Aziraphale chortled. “You’ve always had a flair for the dramatic.”</p><p>Crowley grinned. “I was wondering if you’d be willing to take me under your wing, socially.”</p><p>“Oh, I don’t know that you’d want me to do that,” he demurred. “I’m a fuddy duddy, a homebody. You’re a jet setter.”</p><p>“Not really, not anymore. I’d like to settle down - that was my main objective for moving back to the UK. I want to make London my home, not just my home base, like New York was.”</p><p>“Well, I’m not sure how I could help with that…”</p><p>“Just hang out with me. Show me around town. That’s all I’m asking. To be honest…” He hesitated for a second, then went on. “To be honest, I’m hoping we can pick up where we left off all those years ago. I’d like to rekindle my friendship with the person who knows me best and has known me the longest. You were always my best friend, Aziraphale, and that never changed.” When Aziraphale didn’t immediately speak, he rushed ahead, his nerves getting the better of him. “Of course, I’m being presumptuous. You’ve got your own life and --”</p><p>“Oh, don’t be ridiculous,” Aziraphale snapped good-naturedly. “Of <i>course</i> I’d like to pick up where we left off! I’ve missed you terribly these last years, and no one has ever filled the void you left.”</p><p>Crowley burst into a relieved smile. “No one has ever filled that void for me, either. Not even close.”</p><p>“I just hope I haven’t changed too much for you. Become too stodgy.”</p><p>“I can’t imagine that at all,” Crowley said honestly. “You’ll always be the same Aziraphale to me.”</p><p>“We’ll see what you think about that after spending a few weeks in my company.”</p><p>“I’m certain I’ll feel exactly the same,” Crowley said, beaming. “I’m counting on it.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>You may notice the chapter count has gone up significantly, from ten to twenty. It's going to go up again at some point - I'm currently writing chapter eighteen and have lots more to write. I'm thinking it'll end up being about twenty five chapters and a happy ending epilogue, but don't quote me on that. </p><p>This story now has <a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6FR9mUWhQf5rQhrucsfpoA?si=DQ22RoehS26lJyLY0FxmeQ">a full playlist curated by me</a>. It's about two and a half hours worth of music I'm listening to pretty much on repeat as I write and brainstorm this fic. You may occasionally see snippets of lyrics pop up here and there. All of them will be from this playlist. </p><p>This is not my greatest writing achievement, not by any measure. I don't expect this fic to be a 'hit'. But honestly, I don't care. I'm having so much fun writing this, y'all, I can't even express it. Thank you for indulging me as I skip gleefully through another trope. </p><p>Your comments and kudos are the joy of my life. Thank you so much for them.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><i>Long time since I've seen your smile but when I close my eyes, I remember</i><br/><i>You were no more than a child, but then so was I young and tender</i><br/><i>Time carries on - I guess it always will</i><br/><i>But deep inside my heart, time stands still</i><br/><i>Stay for awhile</i><br/><i>Well it's good to see your smile, and I love your company</i><br/><i>Stay for awhile</i><br/><i>And remember the days gone by, for a moment it can seem</i><br/><i>Just the way it used to be</i><br/>Stay For Awhile - Amy Grant</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Forty minutes later, Aziraphale and Crowley stepped out of the bistro onto the busy Soho pavement. Aziraphale felt full - not only from the food, but from sheer joy to have Crowley back in his life. His mind was full, too, of emotions and thoughts that were clamoring for his attention, but he did his best to push them aside for now and focus on Crowley. He could think on them when he was alone. </p><p>“How often do you go to Tadfield?” Crowley asked. </p><p>“Not very often, since Mum died. I typically only go at Christmas and sometimes for my nieces’ birthday in the spring. What about you? How often are you planning to go?”</p><p>“I’d like to go every other weekend, for now, to check on Mum. Just for the day, not the weekend. I went Sunday, in fact.”</p><p>Aziraphale grinned, eyes on the pavement in front of them. He was a little afraid to look at Crowley. “Hasn’t changed much, has it?”</p><p>“No, it really hasn’t. It always felt small when we were kids, but now it <i>really</i> feels small.”</p><p>“What’s that expression? ‘It’s a nice place to visit but I wouldn’t want to live there’?”</p><p>“That’s <i>exactly</i> what it’s like. Spot on.”</p><p>Aziraphale smiled under the praise as they walked down the pavement, towards his shop. By some unspoken agreement, they were walking as slowly as they could without impeding pedestrian traffic. Aziraphale was glad. He didn’t want this evening to end. </p><p>“Do you ever see any of our old friends?”</p><p>He shook his head. “No, not really. I’ll occasionally run into someone either here or on my rare trips to Tadfield, but I mostly keep to myself and my small circle.” </p><p>“Well, now your circle is a little larger,” Crowley said. </p><p>Aziraphale smiled again, chancing a glance at him, looking away quickly. “Yes, it is. And I’m very grateful.”</p><p>They walked in silence for a little while, and Aziraphale’s swirling thoughts tried to take over his brain again. Crowley was so… <i>no.</i> He pushed them to the side to think of later. Not right now. </p><p>In the meantime, he plastered on a smile and turned to Crowley as they walked. “So! I’m to take you under my wing, yes?”</p><p>“I’d like that.”</p><p>“Well, I suppose that begs the question, what do you like to do these days?”</p><p>The corner of Crowley’s lip turned down, his hands shoved in his pockets. “You don’t need to do anything special to entertain me, angel. I didn’t mean it that way.”</p><p>“Oh, I know, dear. But I <i>am</i> rather afraid of you finding me boring. I know!” he said, an idea sparking. “Why don’t we find a nursery and get you some plants for your new flat?”</p><p>Crowley gave a quirked smile. “Yeah?”</p><p>“Yes. I have a friend in the Soho Businesspersons’ Association who is a florist. Janice. She’ll be able to direct me to a reputable nursery.” </p><p>“I’d like that. That’s very kind of you, angel.”</p><p>“It’s nothing, really. I’ll email her in the morning.”</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>“You’re welcome. Do you like museums?”</p><p>“I like to go to museums on occasion, yeah. Why?”</p><p>“I was thinking that perhaps the best way to reintroduce you to London would be to approach it as a visitor. We could pretend to be tourists. Visit Piccadilly Circus, the London Eye. Things like that.”</p><p>“That sounds fun, angel.”</p><p>“Very good, then, we’ll do that. What else do you like to do? We used to watch a lot of films together. We were at the cinema every Friday, if I recall correctly.”</p><p>Crowley laughed. “We were. I still like films, although I haven’t been to a cinema in a long time. Usually, I just pull something up on Netflix at home.”</p><p>“Well, we can certainly do that.”</p><p>“Do you like plays?” Crowley asked. “I developed a taste for them in New York.” </p><p>“I do enjoy plays,” Aziraphale said happily. “So that’s something <i>else</i> we can do together. Do you, um,” he hesitated. “Do you like to go to clubs or bars?”</p><p>“Not loud ones, not anymore. I don’t mind a quiet pub or cocktail bar, though.”</p><p>“Oh, good. I was hoping you’d say that. That you don’t like loud ones.”</p><p>“Nah. That’s a young man’s game. I’m too old for that now. And angel, seriously, you don’t have to put any effort into me. Truly, I’d be happy just to hang around your flat or mine and talk, the way we used to.”</p><p>“We can certainly do that as much as you want,” Aziraphale said, a little relieved. “I’ll follow your lead.”</p><p>“When would you like to see each other again?” Crowley asked, not looking at Aziraphale. </p><p>“Well, what’s your work schedule like?”</p><p>“On normal days, I’m in the office by seven thirty or eight every morning, and I usually leave about six or maybe seven. Sometimes I’ll work a few hours on the weekend, like ten to three on a Saturday or something like that. I don’t usually work Sundays unless I absolutely have to.”</p><p>“Yes, my shop is closed Sundays, too. Well, you saw my posted hours - they align very closely with yours, so that will work out well.” </p><p>“So you’re not free until late evening?”</p><p>“I’m usually at the shop for the full range of hours, but I do have Newt now. So I could conceivably cut out a couple of hours early, if you wanted. How about if I email Janice and find out about a plant nursery, then we could go to it on Sunday? If you’re not busy.”</p><p>“I won’t be,” Crowley said, and something about his tone made Aziraphale flush. “That would be great. I’m looking forward to it.”</p><p>They came to a stop outside the shop. “This is me,” Aziraphale said unnecessarily, feeling incredibly nervous all of the sudden. Before he could think better of it, he offered, “Would you like to come up for a drink?”</p><p>Crowley smiled. “You have no idea how much I’d love that, but I need to go. I’m still not completely over the jet lag. The morning comes quickly.”</p><p>“Of course, dear,” he said, simultaneously relieved and disappointed, hoping neither emotion showed in his voice. </p><p>“I’d like to come up sometime soon, though. Maybe this weekend?”</p><p>“I’d love that,” Aziraphale said with a genuine smile. </p><p>The silence lingered and Aziraphale had no idea how to fill it. He felt awkward, stilted, and scrambled to think of something to say. </p><p>“I know I’ve already said, but I’m so fucking glad to see you again, angel,” Crowley said. </p><p>“I’m so happy to see you, too, dear. You being home for good is thrilling.” <i>Understatement</i>.</p><p>Crowley grinned. “I’m pretty thrilled to be home. I’ve missed you terribly.”</p><p>“I’ve missed you, too. But now we don’t <i>have</i> to miss each other.”</p><p>“No, we don’t.”</p><p>Another awkward silence. Aziraphale wondered about how to say goodbye - even though he didn’t want to. </p><p>“So I’ll see you on Sunday?” Crowley said, sounding hopeful. </p><p>“Yes,” Aziraphale replied, relieved. “Or you can text anytime you want.”</p><p>Crowley chuckled. “I’ll text you, then. I just hope you don’t get sick of me.”</p><p>“I could never.”</p><p>“Well,” Crowley said, his cheeks a little pink, shuffling his feet. “I’ll see you Sunday, angel.”</p><p>Aziraphale’s heart was fluttering in his chest, and his eyes kept daring to Crowley’s lips. What was wrong with him? His swirling thoughts were getting louder, and he needed to get inside where he could work them out. </p><p>“Goodnight, Crowley,” he managed. </p><p>Crowley gave him one more smile, then turned with a wave and went back the way they’d come. Aziraphale watched him go, his eyes guiltily drawn to Crowley’s swaying hips before he tore them away. It stung more than a bit, watching him walk away. It had taken him twenty years to reconnect with his best friend - honestly, he’d given up hope of <i>ever</i> reconnecting with Crowley. But now he had, against all the odds, and he never wanted to be separated from him again. Even though he knew they had plans to see each other in just a couple of days, it felt like a lifetime. Irrationally, he worried that maybe Crowley had gotten his fill of him tonight and would flake out on any further meetings. But he dismissed that idea quickly as stupid. Crowley had never lied to him, never in thirty-five years. He wouldn’t lie now. If he said he wanted to see Aziraphale, then Aziraphale had to trust that. </p><p>When Aziraphale could no longer see Crowley’s retreating form on the pavement, he climbed the stairs to his flat, unlocked the door, and let himself in. His mind was whirling, and he couldn’t put off his thoughts or feelings anymore. It was time to sort them out. </p><p>The first thing he felt, the emotion that was most abundant, was <i>joy</i>. He had missed Crowley terribly over the last two decades, and having him back now made him unspeakably happy. And they were rekindling their friendship! Oh, it was almost too much to think on. Aziraphale felt giddy, like he could sing from the rooftops. Then he laughed to himself. Here he was thinking about singing from rooftops and he’d accused <i>Crowley</i> of having a flair for the dramatic? So silly. </p><p>But joy wasn’t the only thing he felt, and the rest of his feelings were a bit more complex. He’d known he was attracted to Crowley from the time he was old enough to know what attraction even was, and had privately considered Crowley to be his first love - although that love had been one-sided. </p><p>Crowley had <i>loved</i> him, of course, Aziraphale knew that his best friend had loved him, but it hadn’t been the same type of love that Aziraphale had had for him. Crowley had never looked at Aziraphale with anything more than the sincere love of a friend, perhaps as the brother he’d never had. Aziraphale, meanwhile, had compared every man he ever dated against the idealized version of Crowley that lived in his mind - which was completely unfair. He’d thought, in his early twenties, that he’d grow out of that, and that he’d eventually meet the right man. But the memory of Crowley had lingered over every relationship he ever had - whether he’d wanted it to or not. No man had been able to live up to his best friend, and he’d never felt about anyone the way he’d felt about Crowley.</p><p>He’d chastised himself harshly for this, of course, many, many times. He’d done everything he could to convince himself that his memories of Crowley were rose-tinted, that the real man couldn’t possibly be as gorgeous, as funny, as kind, as <i>perfect</i> as he remembered. But it had only taken one evening with Crowley to prove that false. Crowley was every bit as funny and kind as Aziraphale remembered. And he was somehow even <i>more</i> handsome.</p><p>Oh, heavens. The attraction he’d spent years trying to deny was <i>back</i>, and it was stronger than it had ever been after only one evening. Double damn. </p><p>There was a part of him warning that it was a bad idea to fall back into what he’d had with Crowley years ago. He wasn't sure he’d be able to keep his heart in check. Spending so much time with Crowley - who had haunted his dreams for two decades - it was a dangerous game. He was playing with fire, and he knew it. But how could he possibly resist? He <i>had</i> missed Crowley desperately - not just as an object of his affection but more as his closest friend. He had other friends, of course, but there were things one simply did not confess to anyone but their <i>closest</i> friend, and no one had ever filled that void for him. No one had ever come close. </p><p>So <i>not</i> spending time with Crowley was unthinkable. It simply wasn’t an option. Aziraphale would just have to do his best to keep his attraction a closely-guarded secret, never letting his feelings show. He could do that, couldn’t he? Of course he could, he thought. He’d managed to do so when he was a teenager, after all, and now he was an adult, with much more emotional intelligence. He could do this. He <i>could</i>. Why, he could even be mistaken about the way he felt. Perhaps it had just been puppy love all those years ago, and what he was feeling now was nostalgia. It was plausible, he supposed, that he didn’t <i>actually</i> love Crowley. Part of him - a large part of him - hoped he didn’t.</p><p>Crowley had never been attracted to him romantically, and frankly, although he had professed an interest in men when they were teens and at university, Aziraphale had never known him to pursue or date a man as an adult. Even the ex he’d mentioned at dinner had been a “she”. It was entirely likely that Crowley had simply been going through a phase, and that he didn’t fancy men at all - much less Aziraphale. </p><p>Aziraphale didn’t allow himself to think of the other things they’d talked about that night - the pact they’d made to marry if they never found partners. He was sure Crowley had never thought about that silly pact again. Him showing up a month before Aziraphale’s fortieth birthday was nothing more than a coincidence. That was all it could be. </p><p>Wildly, he wondered if perhaps he should ring Tracy and accept her offer to set him up with this David fellow, then he dismissed the idea quickly. There was <i>no way</i> he could objectively go out with someone else and give them a fair shake, now that Crowley was back in his life. No way. And now that Crowley was back <i>for good</i>... he may never be able to date anyone again. </p><p>It was a sobering thought, one that stole his joy for a moment. But only a moment. Crowley being back, despite creating <i>complicated</i> feelings in him, was an overwhelmingly happy thing, and he was overwhelmingly happy about it. It would be fine. He knew it would. </p><p>Feeling resolved, Aziraphale went to his kitchen to make tea.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>In the interest of full disclosure, I feel I should let you know that there is a LOT of smiling in this fic, and that Aziraphale blushes quite a bit. So, you know, if you're not into that, caveat emptor.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <i>So I send you the gift of empathy</i>
  <br/>
  <i>If you'd once in your life acknowledge me</i>
  <br/>
  <i>I have visualized so thoroughly</i>
  <br/>
  <i>That when I think of 'me' I think of 'we'...</i>
</p><p>Parallel Lines - TR</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>Sunday, 26 July</i>
</p><p>Crowley couldn’t help but be a little nervous as he parked his hired SUV and hopped out, heading to Aziraphale’s shop, but that anxiety was minor compared to his <i>excitement</i>. He had hardly stopped smiling since he’d last left Soho, and he’d barely been able to concentrate on anything since seeing Aziraphale Thursday night, thinking of the time they’d spent together - and the time they’d <i>agreed</i> to spend together. His mind had been awhirl with daydreams about seeing the sights with Aziraphale on his arm, of them growing closer and closer, and of them eventually coming together the way Crowley hoped. It didn’t feel like such a longshot now, since they’d spent the evening together Thursday, and Crowley felt he had a real shot of winning the angel’s heart. There had been a spark between them twenty years ago, although neither of them ever acknowledged it out loud. He was sure Aziraphale had felt something for him beyond friendship, just like Crowley had felt for him. He’d never acted on it - primarily because of the taboo of being less than straight in a small town in the nineties, coupled with the terror he felt of ruining what he had with his best friend. But times were different now, and being gay (or bisexual) was perfectly socially acceptable. And he was less afraid of ruining things with Aziraphale now, although he couldn’t articulate why. Perhaps he was just tired of waiting. </p><p>All he had to do was find whatever embers remained of Aziraphale’s feelings for him and reignite them. Aziraphale’s reactions to him Thursday had led him to believe that there was maybe still an attraction there. He just needed to cultivate it. He could do that, he felt sure. It would just take time and a gentle touch, so to speak. Crowley had nothing but time, and he could be as delicate as he needed. For Aziraphale, he could do <i>anything</i>. </p><p>He pressed the button labeled ‘A Fell’ with a smile, then bounced a little on the balls of his feet. Couldn’t help it. He was too excited to hold still. </p><p>“Yes?” came Aziraphale’s voice over the tinny speaker. </p><p>“It’s me, angel,” Crowley said, smiling. </p><p>“Oh. good. I’ll be right down, dear.”</p><p>Crowley stepped back from the door and waited, smile still plastered to his face. A few seconds later, the door opened and Aziraphale emerged, smiling at Crowley. Crowley felt his heart flip over in his chest and smiled back helplessly. </p><p>“Hiya, angel. Are you ready to go?”</p><p>“Yes, I am,” Aziraphale answered, still smiling. </p><p>“Let’s go, then,” Crowley said, resisting the urge to offer his elbow. Not yet, he told himself. Eventually, and hopefully soon, but not yet. </p><p>“Where are you parked?” Aziraphale asked as they walked. </p><p>“Right here,” Crowley replied, gesturing towards the black SUV. “This is me.”</p><p>“It’s very nice,” Aziraphale said, looking over the vehicle as Crowley opened the door for him. </p><p>“It’s not really mine. My company hired it for me until I can get my own car.” </p><p>“Well, your company has nice taste,” Aziraphale said, settling into the leather seat. </p><p>Crowley grinned, closed the door on him, and circled around to the driver’s side and got in. “So,” he said, cranking the car. “Where to?”</p><p>“Oh, yes, I suppose you <i>will</i> want to know that. I have the address right here,” Aziraphale said, pulling out his mobile and scrolling. “We have to go a bit outside of town, I’m afraid, to the suburbs. Janice says the address is 143 Smith Street, New Ash Green.”</p><p>“143 Smith Street,” Crowley echoed, plugging it into the satnav. “Got it. Are you ready?”</p><p>“I’m ready, dear,” Aziraphale replied with a smile. </p><p>Crowley smiled in return - couldn’t help himself - then pulled out into traffic. </p><p>The conversation as they drove towards the nursery was easy, and Crowley was relieved. He’d been worried about awkward pauses, but it seemed there were none. They reminisced about old times a bit and discussed old friends. Although Crowley hadn’t seen virtually anyone since he’d left for New York seventeen years ago, he’d kept up with some people via Facebook and was able to contribute to the conversation, if only just a little. </p><p>“What types of plants are you looking for?” Aziraphale asked. </p><p>“Oh, I’m not sure. Whatever looks like it needs a home - and a good talking-to.”</p><p>Aziraphale gave him a curious look. “A good talking-to?”</p><p>One corner of Crowley’s mouth quirked up. “Yeah. Have you ever heard about how talking to plants is good for them?”</p><p>“I’ve heard something to that effect, yes.”</p><p>“Well, I talk to my plants, too, but I don’t <i>just</i> talk to them. I shout at them. Vent my frustrations on them.”</p><p>Aziraphale looked comically aghast. “You’re kidding!”</p><p>“I’m not.”</p><p>“You verbally abuse your plants?”</p><p>Crowley rolled his eyes fondly. “They’re <i>plants</i>, angel. They don’t have feelings.”</p><p>“Still,” Aziraphale said, hesitant. </p><p>“It’s an excellent stress release. When I have a bad day at work, I can come home and yell at the plants for a little while, and when I’m done, I feel better.”</p><p>Aziraphale still looked vaguely discomfited. “Is it effective?”</p><p>“I had the most lush, verdant plants in all of New York,” Crowley bragged. </p><p>“But you’re <i>cruel</i> to them.”</p><p>“No, not really. They’re very well-cared-for. And I don’t <i>only</i> berate them. I talk to them normally, too. I find that often, if I’m facing some sort of problem, if I talk about it, lay it all out aloud, I’m able to spot solutions more easily.” </p><p>“Well, I suppose that <i>does</i> make sense…”</p><p>Crowley paused for a second, considering, then grinned. “You know, you’re the first person I’ve ever told that to.”</p><p>Aziraphale looked pleased. “Really?”</p><p>“Yep,” Crowley nodded. “I’ve never told anyone I talk to my plants before, or let them see me do it. Was afraid they’d think I’m a nutter.”</p><p>“With good reason,” Aziraphale laughed, and Crowley laughed, too. “Well, don’t worry, dear. Your secret is safe with me. Although, I have to admit, if I see you berating one of your plants one day, I might feel forced to step in and defend it.”</p><p>Crowley smirked. “I’d expect nothing less. An angel through and through.”</p><p>Aziraphale flushed with pleasure, and Crowley preened to himself.</p><p>“Maybe I should pick up a couple of plants while I’m here,” Aziraphale said pensively. “A little greenery might be nice in the shop.”</p><p>“I’ll be happy to help you pick something,” Crowley offered. </p><p>“Thank you, I may well take you up on that,” Aziraphale said primly. Crowley just smiled. </p><p>Soon after, they arrived at the plant nursery, a large, brick building flanked by sprawling greenhouses. Crowley guided the SUV into a spot and parked it. </p><p>“Here we are. Bryant’s Nursery.”</p><p>“It’s very large,” Aziraphale remarked, looking at the building with wide eyes. </p><p>“Hopefully that means they'll have a good selection. Are you ready?”</p><p>Aziraphale turned and gave him a smile that shouldn’t have made his heart skip a beat but absolutely did. “I’m ready. Let’s go, dear.”</p><p>He was out of the car before Crowley could get around to his side to open it for him, but Crowley did manage to get to the door of the building before Aziraphale did, so he opened that door with a flourish and a bow. Aziraphale flushed becomingly, making Crowley’s smile brighter. </p><p>“Hello,” said a friendly young woman from behind the plant-covered counter. “Welcome to Bryant’s. Can I help you?”</p><p>“I’m in the market for some houseplants,” Crowley said. “Are your greenhouses open to the public?”</p><p>“Yes, they are. Will you be needing any assistance?”</p><p>“Most likely not, no. Through here?” he asked, gesturing towards the door.</p><p>“Yes, that’s it. We have wagons for your convenience beside the door, if you’d like to take one.” </p><p>“Thank you,” Crowley said, knowing he’d never let himself be seen by Aziraphale pulling a wagon. There was nothing sexy about <i>that</i>. “I’ll keep that in mind.”</p><p>He stepped over to the glass door and opened it for Aziraphale, letting the blond man go ahead. At once, the humid air and earthy aroma hit him, and he took a deep breath, closing his eyes. So, so nice. He’d missed this. </p><p>“You really love it, don’t you?” Aziraphale asked in a wondering tone. “Botany, that is.”</p><p>“I do. I never would have dreamed that about myself, but here we are.”</p><p>“I’m so pleased you found a hobby you love,” Aziraphale said, his smile warm. “Shall we get a wagon?”</p><p>“Nah. I’ll just carry them.”</p><p>“So you’re not planning on getting many?”</p><p>“I thought I’d get a few, yeah.”</p><p>“Then why don’t you get a wagon?”</p><p>“Because it looks stupid.”</p><p>Aziraphale gave him a look.</p><p>“What?” he said, defensively. </p><p>“My dear, I can’t imagine that you’ll look <i>less</i> stupid with your arms overflowing with plants than you would pulling a wagon.”</p><p>“I’ll just pick up the ones I like and put them in a central location,” Crowley argued. </p><p>“That sounds like considerably more effort,” Aziraphale pointed out. </p><p>“Nah. It’ll be fun.”</p><p>“My, but you’re stubborn,” Aziraphale clucked. “Here, what if I’m pulling one, too? For the plants I’d like to purchase. Would that make you feel less ridiculous?”</p><p>“You’re one to talk about ‘stubborn’, angel. But fine. I surrender. We can both pull wagons.”</p><p>Aziraphale gave him a dazzling smile and Crowley felt his pulse accelerate. “Very good. Now, let’s go find you some plants to abuse.”</p><p>He rolled his eyes at Aziraphale, who was smirking and getting a wagon. “I should never have told you that.”</p><p>“Of course you should. You can tell me anything, dear. Now, get your wagon.”</p><p>“Yes, sir,” Crowley said, but the sarcasm he’d intended didn’t quite make it through into his tone. He just sounded playful - and fond. </p><p>They set off down the aisles of the greenhouse, both of them pulling the ridiculous wagons, as side by side as they could get in the narrow aisles. The plants at the front of the greenhouse were mostly flowers and outdoor plants, which held little interest to Crowley, but Aziraphale stopped more than once to exclaim over the beauty of some flowering plant or another. It was unspeakably cute. </p><p>When they arrived towards the back of the huge greenhouse where the potted plants and trees were kept, Crowley paid a little more attention to the greenery and less to Aziraphale. He wasn't entirely sure what he was looking for, but he figured he’d know it when he saw it. </p><p>“They’re all so <i>lovely</i>,” Aziraphale cooed, looking around in wonder. “Which will you choose?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” Crowley said, also looking around. “I’ll probably mostly get plants I’m familiar with, for now.”</p><p>“Such as?”</p><p>“Well, in New York, I had a handful of rubber plants, some chinese evergreen, dracaena, a few spider plants, a ficus or two, and some anthurium. Plus a couple of other assorted things.”</p><p>“Goodness. You had a veritable Eden in your flat.”</p><p>Crowley grinned. “Told you.”</p><p>“Well, do you see any of those here?”</p><p>He pointed a little way down the aisle. “There’s chinese evergreen, right there.”</p><p>“Oh, that’s a <i>gorgeous</i> little plant,” Aziraphale breathed, coming to a stop beside the display. “Simply lovely. What am I looking for?”</p><p>“You’re looking for healthy plants. Bright, green leaves with no brown spots.”</p><p>“No brown spots. Got it. What about... this one?” he asked, picking up a plant. </p><p>Crowley checked it over. “Yeah, this one looks to be good. The best of the lot, actually. Good eye, Aziraphale.”</p><p>Aziraphale glowed under the praise, and Crowley grinned, then put the plant down on his wagon. </p><p>“I think I see dracaena just ahead. Shall we look?”</p><p>“After you, dear.”</p><p>They headed farther down the aisle.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div>An hour later, both wagons were full to overflowing with plants. Crowley had only intended to purchase a handful today, but every time Aziraphale exclaimed over the beauty of another green thing, Crowley felt compelled to buy it. The smile Aziraphale gave him each time was its own reward, even though Crowley feared he’d never be able to shout at the plants Aziraphale had picked properly. He had one of each of the plants he’d had in his New York apartment, but he’d also branched out and added a pot of devil’s ivy and an angel wing begonia, specifically because Aziraphale had made such a fuss over them. His flat was big, but he was starting to wonder if he’d gone overboard, trying to please his angel.<p>“Oh, look, dear,” Aziraphale said excitedly, pulling his wagon to a stop. “This one is called ‘snake plant’. You simply <i>have</i> to have it, as much as you love snakes.”</p><p>Crowley laughed. “Well, I’ve never had a snake plant before, but sure. Why not? Do we even have room for it in the wagons?”</p><p>“I think it’ll go very nicely right here,” Aziraphale said, placing the small snake plant beside the anthurium. “Do you want any flowers?”</p><p>“I think I have enough for today,” Crowley said with a grin. “Did you want to find something for your shop?”</p><p>“Oh, no, I feel very inadequate,” Aziraphale said. “I’ve been glancing at the care and feeding instructions as we go and I’m afraid I’m too much of a scatterbrain. I’d kill it with neglect.”</p><p>“Perhaps a cactus, then,” Crowley teased. </p><p>“Oh, haha, very funny.”</p><p>“Thank you. But there <i>are</i> plants that are much hardier than others, that don't need constant care. I’d be happy to help you.”</p><p>“No, that’s quite alright, dear. Maybe another day.”</p><p>Crowley shrugged. “Suit yourself. Are you ready to go, then?”</p><p>“Only if you are.”</p><p>“Let’s go see how much of a dent we’ve made, then, angel.”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div>“You didn’t have to do that,” Crowley said from the driver’s seat a few minutes later, once they’d loaded the plants into the SUV and were headed back towards London.<p>“Didn’t have to do what, dear?” Aziraphale asked mildly, his lip quirked mischievously. </p><p>“Pay for half my plants.”</p><p>“Nonsense. I was happy to do it. You deserve a housewarming gift.”</p><p>Crowley could think of several other things he’d <i>rather</i> have as a housewarming, but didn’t say. </p><p>“Well, thank you. I appreciate it.”</p><p>“You’re welcome, dear.”</p><p>They rode in silence for a little while, Crowley debating how to ask to spend more time with Aziraphale today. He didn’t want to come across as too eager, but he wasn’t nearly ready to drop Aziraphale back off at his flat. But would Aziraphale even <i>want</i> to spend additional time with him? Crowley felt like he would, but was afraid to be too confident. That wouldn’t do at all. </p><p>He debated with himself for a minute longer, then swallowed his nerves and said, “Hey, angel?”</p><p>“Yes, Crowley?”</p><p>“I was thinking… it’s only half five. If you don’t have any other plans, would you like to come back to mine and help me get the plants situated? After, we can go to dinner. My treat.”</p><p>“You’re not sick of me yet?” Aziraphale asked, and although the question and Aziraphale’s smile were teasing, Crowley could hear the hidden insecurity in the question. </p><p>“I’ve never <i>been</i> sick of you, and I’ll never <i>get</i> sick of you,” Crowley pledged, entirely honestly. </p><p>Aziraphale flushed a little and looked down at the hands in his lap. “You’ve only been back a short time. You may well find yourself sick of my company.”</p><p>“Not ever,” Crowley said adamantly. </p><p>“Well, if you’re sure… I’d love to.”</p><p>Crowley broke into a wide smile. “Yeah?”</p><p>“Yes. I had no plans tonight, was just going to make some sort of dinner and watch a program. Spending time with you will be so much more fun than that.”</p><p>“I hope so,” Crowley replied, still grinning. “I’ll show you around my flat, we’ll get the plants settled in, and then we can go to dinner, anywhere you want to go.”</p><p>“I’m not very familiar with Mayfair…”</p><p>“Then we’ll go to Soho and visit your favorite. I need to give you a ride home, anyway. After, you can show me around your neighborhood a bit.”</p><p>“I’d like that, dear.”</p><p>Crowley just smiled and sped up a little, in a hurry to get back and spend more time with his angel.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>To celebrate my 250th posted fic, I'm giving away a story! <a href="https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1FEi9NE51c7IOOLHJ050xGHTYn-WC3aLVNkrM2rkddWY/edit#responses">Click the link</a> to sign up. The winner will be announced on Saturday and contacted via email.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <i>Day goes by and I think I'm clean</i>
  <br/>
  <i>Week goes by and I feel serene</i>
  <br/>
  <i>Month goes by like you're just a dream</i>
  <br/>
  <i>Year goes by I'm back on my knees, when I was already gone</i>
  <br/>
  <i>But since you first infected me</i>
  <br/>
  <i>We've been connected karmically </i>
  <br/>
  <i>Should I escape your gravity</i>
  <br/>
  <i>In every other solar system there you'll be</i>
  <br/>
  <i>Like buffalo grass...</i>
</p><p> </p><p>  <i>Buffalo Grass - TR</i></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Crowley followed Aziraphale up the stairs to his Mayfair flat, his arms full of plants and his eyes full of Aziraphale’s pert, round arse. The angel’s trousers pulled tight around Aziraphale’s thick thighs and <i>damn</i>. Crowley knew he should probably feel guilty about ogling him, but found that he really couldn’t. Why should he? He had every intention to <i>marry</i> him in the not-too-distant future, after all. He’d been annoyed when they’d arrived and seen that the lift was out of order, but this view more than made up for it. <i>Fuck</i>, Crowley couldn’t wait to get his hands on that man.</p><p>When they arrived at the door, Crowley juggled the plants as carefully as he was able and managed to get his key in the door to unlock it. He used his foot to hold the door open for Aziraphale, then followed him inside, letting the door shut behind them. </p><p>“Sorry again about the lift,” he apologized, setting his second armful of plants down on the floor of his foyer, slightly out of breath with sweat dotting his brow. </p><p>“Oh, it’s alright. I enjoyed the exercise,” Aziraphale replied easily, setting his own plants down.</p><p>Crowley peered at him. He didn’t look affected by the two trips up ten flights of stairs at all, other than a slight rosiness to his cheeks. “You’re not even out of breath!” he accused. </p><p>“Should I be?”</p><p>“I am!”</p><p>“So you are,” Aziraphale noted with concern. “Do you need a minute to rest?”</p><p>“I’m fine, just surprised at you. Do you work out at a gym or something?”</p><p>“Who, me? Oh, no. I just get a fair amount of exercise running the shop. Taking care of customers, carrying boxes of books, climbing up and down ladders, things like that. I’m fairly strong.”</p><p>Crowley swallowed, thinking of how he’d like to find out just how strong Aziraphale was. Could he lift him? Maybe. Probably. <i>Jesus.</i> He willed his cock to behave. </p><p>“I’m apparently very out of shape. That’s what I get for giving up running.”</p><p>Aziraphale looked interested. “Oh? You were a runner?”</p><p>“Yeah. Just for fun, mostly. Although I did date a guy who ran, and he and I did a couple of 5k races together.”</p><p>“Ah,” Aziraphale said, looking away at that. Crowley could have kicked himself. He really shouldn’t be talking about old lovers in front of the man he wanted to <i>marry</i>, at least not unprompted. Stupid!</p><p>“Can I show you around?” he offered as a way to break the silence. </p><p>Aziraphale smiled. “I’d very much like that.”</p><p>“Sure thing.”</p><p>He took Aziraphale on a little tour around his flat, showing him the kitchen, lounge, office, and even the bathroom. He felt his cheeks heat when he showed his angel the bedroom, and couldn’t help the quick, vivid fantasies that ran through his mind when he had Aziraphale and his bed in the same place. </p><p>“It’s <i>very</i> nice, dear,” Aziraphale said as they returned to the hall, going towards the foyer where they’d dropped off plants. </p><p>“It’s okay. Too sterile. Drab.”</p><p>“Oh, I’d never call your flat ‘drab’...”</p><p>“You don’t have to, I’m saying it. And it's not my flat. Not really. None of the furniture or decorations are mine. I’m just subletting it.” </p><p>“For how long?”</p><p>
  <i>Until I move in with you somewhere.</i>
</p><p>Crowley shrugged. “I dunno. I guess until I find something better. But this isn’t home to me. Not really. My home will be a lot… cozier.”</p><p>“Well, the plants will go a long way towards cozying the place up a bit, I think. I know you’ll probably be utterly <i>shocked</i> at this suggestion, but some books would also help.” Crowley chuckled and Aziraphale smiled. “Maybe you could display some photographs or something? Pictures from your travels, or of your friends? Maybe photos of when you ran the 5k races?”</p><p>Crowley scoffed. “I hardly want to put pictures of my ex out to see all the time. But I could do the others, yeah. Would you be willing to help me?”</p><p>“Help you what, dear?”</p><p>“Make my place more like home. Until I find something else.”</p><p>“It would be my pleasure to do anything I can to help,” Aziraphale said with a smile. “After all, isn’t that what best friends are for?”</p><p>Crowley hoped they were going to be a lot more than that, and soon. But for now he just grinned back and said, “Absolutely.”</p><p>The moment stretched out, the two of them looking at each other with smiles on their faces, until Aziraphale flushed and looked away. </p><p>“So, your plants…”</p><p>Crowley cleared his throat. “Right. Yes. Feel free to put them wherever you think they’d look best.”</p><p>“Don’t you want or need to give input based on sunlight and whatnot?”</p><p>“Nah, not for now. I’ll worry with all that later. For now, I’d like to get them set out so I can take you to Soho for dinner.”</p><p>Aziraphale flushed again. “You don’t have to --”</p><p>“I want to. Let me. Please?”</p><p>“Oh, alright. You know I can never say no to you,” he chided. </p><p>Crowley fervently hoped that would prove to be true in the coming weeks and months. </p><p>They worked together to place the plants around the flat, mostly in the office and lounge. More than once, Crowley caught Aziraphale talking to the plant as he placed it, speaking loving words of encouragement. The sight made something warm swell inside him. <i>Fuck</i>, he loved Aziraphale. More now than he had twenty years ago, more than he had ever loved <i>anyone.</i> He couldn’t <i>wait</i> until he could say so out loud. Soon, he hoped. God, how he hoped. </p><p>When the last plant - the anthurium - was placed in the kitchen on the counter, Crowley turned to Aziraphale with a smile. “Ready for dinner, angel?”</p><p>“Lead the way,” Aziraphale replied with a smile. </p><p>Crowley followed him to the foyer, grabbed his keys and sunglasses, slipped them on, then opened the door for Aziraphale. As he passed, on impulse, Crowley reached out and touched the small of his back, as if to guide him. A pulse of electricity skittered up his arm and his heart trilled in his chest. He heard Aziraphale give a little, likely involuntary gasp, and the sound thrilled him. Aziraphale was affected by his touch. He could have danced a jig. </p><p>But he didn’t let on. He just closed and locked his door, then walked with Aziraphale to the stairwell.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div>Thirty minutes later found them sitting in a little Indian restaurant Aziraphale liked near his shop, sipping water, waiting on their food.<p>“So did you see much of the US?” Aziraphale asked. </p><p>“A fair amount, I suppose. The firm had satellite offices in Los Angeles, Dallas, and Atlanta, so those were the places I visited most often.” </p><p>“Oh, Los Angeles seems so glamorous,” Aziraphale cooed. “Is it as wonderful as it seems on telly and in films? Are there movie stars on every corner and everyone looks like a model?”</p><p>Crowley laughed. “I didn’t meet any movie stars, but then I wasn’t trying to. It <i>did</i> seem as if people were a little more aesthetically pleasing out there. More vapid, too.”</p><p>“Yes, I imagine so. Still, I have heard that southern California is absolutely beautiful, scenery-wise.”</p><p>“It was very lovely, yes. A beautiful coastline. Lots of vineyards.”</p><p>“Where else did you go?”</p><p>Crowley let out an expansive breath. “Well, let’s see… I went skiing in Colorado a few times, and sometimes I’d make the drive to New England, just to take in the sights. It’s also very pretty.”</p><p>“Lovely foliage, I hear.”</p><p>“You’ve heard correctly. Especially in the autumn.”</p><p>“So is it true that everything is bigger in Texas?”</p><p>Crowley laughed again. “I never spent a ton of time there, I was only in town for business, but I can tell you that from what I saw, most of the stereotypes about Texas are true. Lots of cowboy hats and pickup trucks.”</p><p>“I knew it,” Aziraphale said, making Crowley grin. “Well, it all sounds absolutely lovely.”</p><p>“It’s a beautiful country. We should go sometime.”</p><p>Aziraphale’s eyes widened. “We should?”</p><p>“Sure. We can take a couple weeks off and fly to New York, hire a car, and take off on a road trip. See the sights.”</p><p>“That <i>does</i> sound fun,” Aziraphale agreed, while his mind spun. Two weeks - or more - alone with Crowley? Sharing hotel rooms and being in a car together for hours a day? It sounded like heaven. It sounded like hell. </p><p>His thoughts were interrupted when the waiter came to the table with their meals. He thanked the man kindly, accepting his food, then picked up a piece of warm naan bread and dipped it into the sauce. He brought it to his lips and took a bite, closing his eyes and letting out a little moan when the flavors burst across his tongue. He chewed, swallowed, then opened his eyes to find Crowley giving him an odd look. </p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Nothing,” Crowley said at once, his face clearing so fast, Aziraphale thought he might have imagined the previous expression. “Enough about me,” Crowley went on with a smile. “What do <i>you</i> enjoy doing these days?”</p><p>“Oh, nothing terribly exciting.”</p><p>“Tell me. I’m curious.”</p><p>“Well, as you know very well, I’ve always been a bibliophile.”</p><p>Crowley grinned. “I seem to remember something like that. Vaguely.” </p><p>Aziraphale pursed his lips at him playfully, then went on. “You also know I’ve been collecting books since childhood.”</p><p>“Yes. I take it you still collect them?”</p><p>“I do, but mostly rare books these days. First editions, if I can get them.”</p><p>“What types?”</p><p>“Oh, all types, really. I have a fairly large collection of books of prophecy and biblical misprints.”</p><p>“Books of prophecy? <i>You?</i>”</p><p>“And biblical misprints, yes.”</p><p>Crowley gave him a wide, open-mouth smile. “In a million years, I never would have believed <i>you</i> would collect books of prophecy.”</p><p>“Yes, well.”</p><p>“How did you get into <i>that</i>?”</p><p>“My friend Tracy. She runs a tea shop that also sells occult items. She talked me into reading some.  I did it to humor her, but found the prophecies to be highly entertaining.” </p><p>“You don’t <i>believe</i> in them, do you?”</p><p>“Oh, no, of course not. They’re complete hocus, just like all occult beliefs, but I find them entertaining. Like reading a red top or something. Just a little light reading for fun.”</p><p>“And what about the other? Biblical misprints?”</p><p>“Yes, although I don’t have many of those.”</p><p>“What are they?”</p><p>“Just what they sound like - bibles with errors in them.  I think my favorite is one in which the typesetter went rogue and inserted ‘buggre alle this’ right into the text.”</p><p>Crowley laughed. “You’re making that up. You don’t have a <i>bible</i> that says ‘bugger all this’.”</p><p>“I’m not! I do! I can show you.”</p><p>“Well, this I <i>have</i> to see,” Crowley said, voice still amused. Aziraphale knew that if he’d been able to see his eyes, they’d have been twinking. </p><p>“I also <i>restore</i> books,” he said to distract himself from the curve of Crowley’s mouth. </p><p>“You do?”</p><p>“Yes. I got into it by accident, when I started collecting antiquarian and rare books. Some of them came to me in less than perfect shape, so I taught myself how to restore them. It’s become a hobby I devote a fair amount of time to, and I’ve even had people hire me to restore their books for them.”</p><p>Crowley grinned. “So you’ve got yourself a little side hustle.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t say <i>that</i>, really, only that I’ve found myself to be fairly good at it. I love taking something that’s damaged and making it whole again. Especially when it seems that others have given up on it.”</p><p>“You’re converting trash to treasure.”</p><p>“They were <i>never</i> trash, not to me, but yes, essentially. It makes me feel good about myself, like I’m doing something of value by saving these little pieces of history. Not just running a shop in Soho.”</p><p>“Running a shop in Soho is absolutely something of value, angel. Everything you do is of value. You know that, right?”</p><p>Aziraphale flushed. “I’m a nobody, really.”</p><p>“Not to me, you aren’t.”</p><p>He looked up into Crowley’s face and oh, my. He looked so earnest, so serious. So <i>handsome</i>. Aziraphale’s heart did something complicated. </p><p><i>Get a hold of yourself,</i> he told himself sternly. <i>He doesn’t mean anything by it</i>.</p><p>Embarrassed, Aziraphale turned back to his food, looking away from Crowley’s gorgeous face. “Please forgive me for nattering on. I’ve probably bored you to death.”</p><p>“Not at all. I love hearing you so excited and enthusiastic - and book conservation sounds interesting.” </p><p>Aziraphale laughed. “You’d be bored to tears. I know you, dear, and unless you’ve changed <i>dramatically</i> over the last twenty years, you’re very much a man of action.”</p><p>“Well, I’m settling down in my old age,” Crowley replied with a grin. “Besides, talking with you about something you love isn’t remotely boring.”</p><p>“Thank you for humoring me.”</p><p>“I’m not humoring you, Aziraphale,” Crowley said, an edge of exasperation in his voice. “I’m genuinely interested in the things that genuinely interest you. Were you humoring me all day at the nursery?”</p><p>“No, of course not.”</p><p>“Well, there you go.”</p><p>Aziraphale was chastened. “I suppose you’re right. I’ve just become accustomed to the people I talk to being bored to tears by my interests over the years. I’ve kept this part of my life almost secret, only discussing it with likeminded people - other collectors and restorers.” </p><p>“Well, now you have me,” Crowley said resolutely. “I’d love to hear more about the rare books you find, or that you restore.”</p><p>Aziraphale just stared at him for a moment, dumbfounded. No one had <i>ever</i> shown an interest like that in him. Ever. He wasn’t sure what to do with it. All he knew for certain was that the love he felt for Crowley, that he’d been trying desperately to deny and/or keep firmly in his control, grew a little in that moment, independent of his will. More than a little. Any doubts he’d had that he was in love with Crowley were effectively erased.</p><p>Oh, <i>no</i>.</p><p>“Are you okay, angel? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”</p><p>“I’m fine,” he said quickly, plastering on a brittle smile. “It’s just…”</p><p>“It’s just what?”</p><p>“No one has ever <i>cared</i> before,” he admitted. </p><p>Crowley frowned. “I’m sorry to hear that. Your friends and loved ones should absolutely care about what you care about.” Then his face brightened. “Good thing I’m here, then, eh? Seems like you’ve needed someone like me.”</p><p>“Yes,” Aziraphale agreed. “It’s a very good thing you’re here.” And Aziraphale hadn’t needed someone <i>like</i> Crowley, he’d needed <i>Crowley.</i></p><p>“I mentioned before, but what would you say about a stroll after dinner? It’s still light out, you could show me around your neighborhood a bit.”</p><p>“Of course, dear. Anything you want.”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div>After dinner, they emerged onto the Soho pavement a couple of blocks from Aziraphale’s shop. The evening was warm and a bit muggy, but not unpleasant. Aziraphale checked his watch: it was only eight. The evening was still fairly young, and he found that he really didn’t want his time with Crowley to end. The hours he’d spent with Crowley today had been some of the most pleasant he could remember. It felt like he and Crowley had slotted perfectly back into place with no effort. The only problem now was the intense <i>romantic</i> feelings that were threatening to overwhelm him. Even now, Aziraphale was fighting against the impulse to reach over and take Crowley’s hand. He had no idea what to do, but he knew he couldn’t do <i>that.</i> He’d only had Crowley back in his life for a matter of days, and he was already head over heels. If he were smart, he’d distance himself. This could only lead to emotional ruin. Crowley had never loved him romantically and would never see him as a love interest. They were simply friends. It was paramount that he remember that.<p>“So,” Crowley said brightly, unaware of Aziraphale’s tumultuous thoughts. He put his hands in his pockets (which seemed a little miraculous, given how tight they were) and he had a small smile on his face. “Which way?”</p><p>“Er, left, I guess,” Aziraphale replied. </p><p>“I’m following you.”</p><p>Aziraphale gave him an unsure smile, then started down the pavement. </p><p>“You mentioned a tea shop at dinner,” Crowley said. “The one that gave you books of prophecy.”</p><p>“Yes. My friend, Tracy Shadwell, is the proprietor.”</p><p>“How long have you been friends?”</p><p>“Since shortly after I moved to Soho and opened the shop. Right away, I joined the Soho Buisnesspersons’ Association to help me acclimate into the community. I met her at my second meeting.”</p><p>“Is she nice?”</p><p>“Oh, she’s <i>very</i> nice, except for an annoying tendency to try to play matchmaker.”</p><p>“Well, has she had any success?”</p><p>“No, I resist nearly all her attempts.”</p><p>“Nearly?”</p><p>“I did give in twice over the last three years, both with disastrous results. I don’t plan on giving in again.”</p><p>“Good,” Crowley said at once, and Aziraphale glanced over at him, confused. That was odd.</p><p>When he recovered, he went on. “We have tea once a week, every Thursday afternoon. She’s very eccentric, but no more than you would expect from a woman who runs a tea shop that specializes in the occult.”</p><p>“You two sound like an odd pair.”</p><p>Aziraphale smiled. “I suppose we are, but over the last fifteen years or so, she’s become my closest confidant.” </p><p>“I’m glad you had someone,” Crowley said, his voice sincere. “And I’m sorry that person wasn’t me.”</p><p>“It’s not your fault, dear. You couldn't help being transferred away.”</p><p>“No, but I could have kept closer contact. I <i>should</i> have. I just…”</p><p>Aziraphale’s heart was thudding anxiously. “You just what, dear?”</p><p>Crowley sighed. “I just missed you so much. So fucking much. And talking to you - seeing you - only seemed to make it <i>worse</i>. We’d have dinner or something when I came home to visit Mum and then I’d fly back to the US and be in a funk for the next week or two, because seeing you had made me miss you <i>more</i>. Talking to you over the internet had the same effect, to a lesser degree. I knew our relationship couldn’t be what I wanted it to be while I was in the US, and it ate at me. So I distanced myself, hoping that would help.”</p><p>“Did it?” Aziraphale asked in a quiet voice. </p><p>He huffed a sardonic laugh. “Not really. I’d be fine for a while, thinking I was doing well, a month or three or six. I’d distract myself with work or trips or friends, but then out of the blue, something would remind me of you or I’d see a post on social media, and I was right back to missing you so much I ached.”</p><p>Aziraphale was silent, letting that sink in as they walked. He had had much the same experience. Over the years, he’d tried to put Crowley out of his mind, but had never been able to flush his best friend from his system. Crowley had kept insinuating himself into Aziraphale’s mind and life - even though he’d been thousands of miles away and they’d had very limited contact. It gave Aziraphale very mixed feelings to know that it had been the same way for Crowley. Very mixed, indeed. </p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p>“For what?”</p><p>“That I ever caused you distress in any way.”</p><p>“No, angel, you didn’t. Honestly. It was my own stupid fault. I should have asked for a transfer back to the UK ten years ago.” </p><p>“I missed you the same way, you know.” <i>And then some</i>. </p><p>“You did?”</p><p>“I did. But I watched you from afar, living your best life, as they say, and I didn't want to get in the way of that. I just figured I was a fond memory for you to ponder every now and then, and that was it.” </p><p>“No, you were much, much more than that. I couldn’t forget you. God help me, I <i>tried</i> to forget you, and I couldn’t.”</p><p>“I tried to put you out of my mind, too,” Aziraphale confessed. “It didn’t really work for me, either.”</p><p>They walked in silence for a while, Aziraphale lost in his thoughts. He didn’t really know what to say. The moment felt fragile, somehow, like he’d revealed too much. He hadn’t been this open with anyone in years upon years, and the <i>last</i> person he’d been so honest with was Crowley. His instinct was to hide himself, to get away from the vulnerable feeling, but Crowley had revealed a bit of his soul, too. That had to mean something. Right? </p><p>“At any rate, I’m glad you’re back.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Crowley agreed, his voice equally soft. “Me too. And I’ll never leave again.”</p><p>Oh, how Aziraphale hoped that was true.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Well, I'll finish writing this story today. It's going to be twenty-six chapters and a short epilogue. And I can say without hesitation that I've had more fun writing this story than I've had writing <i>any</i> story for the last six years. It's by far my favorite thing I've ever done for Good Omens, and as of right now, is my most favorite thing I've ever written - period. I'm just really in love with this story. If you guys love it even a hundredth as much as I do, I'll be thrilled, but that's asking a lot. I'm probably going to mope around the house for the next few days, the way I always do when I finish a big project. Send tots and pears that the inevitable funk doesn't last long. &lt;3 </p><p>NaurimiKaiko is back to betaing for this story after taking a break to work on her own writing! All the chapters so far (except the first) have been unbeta'd.) I'm thrilled to have her working with me again, as she is the best beta in the GO fandom. Maybe there won't be so many boneheaded errors now. &lt;3</p><p>She won't see this, but I owe the HUGEST debt of gratitude to RishiDiams, my writing partner and longtime collaborator, who has held my hand and listened patiently and let me brainstorm this entire story - even though Good Omens isn't her fandom. Writing is ten times more fun when I have her in my corner. </p><p>Your comments and kudos are the life blood of the muse. Thank you for them.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I needed an ex/confidante for Crowley, and in the original plans for this, all of the demons would have been occupied as coworkers. So I ended up using my OC, Fergus. Hope you don't mind.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>Tuesday, 28 July</i>
</p><p>Crowley was in the office of his flat, trying to get a bit of work done after hours on Tuesday night. So far, the second week of work had been slightly more hectic than the first, and he wanted to get as far ahead as he could. He was doing his best to pack in as much work as he could into Aziraphale’s work hours and the time he couldn’t see Aziraphale so when the angel was <i>free</i>, Crowley would also be free. That was his main motivation, but he figured that working extra hours would help make him look good to the brass. That was a definite bonus. </p><p>His mobile went off beside him, playing his text tone, and he looked up hopefully, thinking it might be Aziraphale. They’d taken to texting each other a few times a day, for no real reason, and Crowley treasured each and every message he got, no matter now mundane it may seem. They could be talking about anything - or nothing - and Crowley was thrilled. It made him feel connected. And, to his thinking, it helped keep him in the front of Aziraphale’s mind, where he wanted to be. God knew Aziraphale was at the front of <i>his</i> mind all the time. </p><p>But the message wasn’t from Aziraphale. He was only slightly disappointed to see it was from his friend in New York, Fergus. </p><p>Fergus: <i>You available to facetime? I’m leaving work and haven’t heard from you since you hopped the pond. </i><br/>Crowley: <i>Sure, call when you’re ready.</i><br/>Fergus: <i>five mins. let me get in the car</i></p><p>Crowley sat the phone down and went to the kitchen to get himself a lager while he waited. It would be good to talk to Fergus. They had met at a club not long after he’d arrived in New York and had dated for a while. It had only lasted a little less than a year, though, and had been very casual. They’d split up because Fergus met a woman (who would later become his wife), and Crowley had been genuinely happy for him. He’d even served as a groomsman at Fergus’ wedding, and the two had remained close friends. In fact, Fergus was Crowley’s <i>closest</i> friend in America. Crowley had confessed his feelings for Aziraphale early in their relationship, and Fergus (and by proxy, his wife) were the only people who knew of the pact and his plan to come to the UK and marry Aziraphale. Aziraphale was Crowley’s best friend and always would be, but Fergus was definitely second. </p><p>Crowley had just sat back down behind his desk, beer in hand, when the mobile went off, signaling an incoming facetime. Crowley pressed the green button and propped the phone against the pencil holder. </p><p>“Fergus!”</p><p>The strawberry-blond man’s face filled the screen, his eyes hidden behind sunglasses, and he was clearly driving, but he was smiling. “Crowley! How the hell are you?”</p><p>“Can’t complain. How are you?”</p><p>“Same as ever. How’s London?”</p><p>“Not bad, not bad.”</p><p>“New job going alright?”</p><p>“So far, so good,” Crowley said, taking a sip of his beer. </p><p>“Have you made contact with <i>him</i> yet?” Fergus asked with a smirk. </p><p>Crowley rolled his eyes. “You’re as bad as a woman, Fergus. A fucking gossiphound.”</p><p>“Not me. I’m just invested in your happiness. So, have you?”</p><p>“I have,” Crowley admitted. “I went to see him Thursday. Surprised him at his shop.”</p><p>Fergus used one hand to make a ‘go on’ gesture. “And? Is it still there? The spark?”</p><p>Crowley grinned. “I think so. It sure as shit is on <i>my</i> end. I’m crazier about him now than ever.”</p><p>“Fuck. That’s really saying something. So you went to his shop. Was he surprised?”</p><p>“Oh, yeah. His face when he realized who I was was priceless.”</p><p>“Is he still single?”</p><p>“Yes, thank Christ.”</p><p>“Well <i>that’s</i> an answer to prayer.”</p><p>“You’re telling me.”</p><p>“How does he look?”</p><p>Crowley smiled. “He simultaneously looks just like he always did and ten times more gorgeous than I remember.”</p><p>“That good, huh?”</p><p>“Fergus, you have <i>no</i> idea.”</p><p>“So have you told him that you’ve moved thousands of miles to marry him yet?”</p><p>“Not yet.”</p><p>“Have you mentioned the pact?”</p><p>“Not yet.”</p><p>Fergus huffed. “So what <i>have</i> you done? You’ve been there a week and a half!”</p><p>“I’m taking my time, alright? Feeling him out.”</p><p>“Or maybe you’re chicken shit.”</p><p>“Oi! I am not! Wouldn’t <i>you</i> be nervous if you were in my shoes?”</p><p>“Of course I would.”</p><p>“Well, there you go.”</p><p>“I’m just harassing you, really. I actually think you should take this slow.”</p><p>“You do?”</p><p>“I absolutely do. One hundred percent. Have you spent <i>any</i> time with him yet?”</p><p>“We went to dinner the night I surprised him at his shop and we spent the better part of the day together Sunday.”</p><p>“What did you do?”</p><p>“He took me to buy plants to liven up my flat. Make it feel more like home.”</p><p>“Well that was sweet of him.”</p><p>“It was. He really is a thoughtful man. Part of why I love him so much.”</p><p>“How do you think <i>he</i> feels about you being back? And don’t --” Fergus interrupted when Crowley opened his mouth to answer. “Don’t give me the surface-level bullshit. Give me a real answer.”</p><p>Crowley was thoughtful for a second. “Honestly?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“He’s glad I’m back, I can tell that. And I <i>think</i> he’s still attracted to me. I’m ninety percent sure, but he’s a bit hard to read sometimes.” Crowley paused for thought a moment, then said, “Actually, it feels as if he’s attracted to me, but fighting it.”</p><p>Fergus looked to be considering. “That’s plausible. What’s making you think that?”</p><p>“Just the way he reacts to me. I don’t know if I can fully explain it.”</p><p>“Try. Give me some examples.”</p><p>“What are you, my relationship coach now?”</p><p>“Haven’t I always been? If I were <i>there</i>, I could spend some time around the two of you and tell you exactly how he felt about you and what to do about it, but I can’t, so I need you to <i>tell me</i> these things so I can help you.”</p><p>Crowley searched his memory, and a small smile grew. “Well… sometimes, when we’re talking, we’ll just be chatting about anything and he’ll suddenly blush and look away for no reason, like he’s shy or embarrassed.”</p><p>“That sounds promising. Has he always been shy?”</p><p>“Sometimes, but rarely around me. This is rather new.”</p><p>“Is there anything else?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Crowley said, remembering. “I touched him on Sunday and he gasped.”</p><p>“That sounds even more promising.”</p><p>“Or he could have been repulsed.”</p><p>Fergus looked away from the road to give him a quick, pursed-lip look. “I think you and I both know that’s not the case.”</p><p>“No, probably not. But I <i>have</i> to consider the worst case scenario.”</p><p>“Have you talked to him since Sunday?”</p><p>“Yes, we’ve been texting a little.”</p><p>“Are there any signs that he’s <i>not</i> attracted to you?”</p><p>“I don’t know, Fergus, how the fuck should I know? This is uncharted territory for me.”</p><p>“He’s your <i>best friend</i>.”</p><p>“Yeah, but I haven’t seen him in over a decade.”</p><p>“Has he changed that much?”</p><p>“No,” Crowley admitted.</p><p>“Well, then, what would you think about the way he’s acting twenty years ago?”</p><p>“I don’t know. He seems… hesitant around me.”</p><p>“That could be attraction.”</p><p>“I know. Or it could <i>not</i> be.”</p><p>“This all sounds hopeful to me.”</p><p>“Yeah, I’m guardedly optimistic. Wish you were here to be my wingman, though.”</p><p>“I wish I were, too. So when will you see him again?”</p><p>“We’re going to a play and dinner on Thursday, and there are loose plans to see each other after work on Saturday.”</p><p>“What will you do?”</p><p>“I have no idea, really. He suggested we do the tourist thing, to reacquaint myself with the city, but I don’t know what he has planned.”</p><p>“What would you <i>like</i> to do?”</p><p>“Ideally?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>Crowley considered that for a moment. “I don’t know. My instinct is to say I’d like to take him to dinner somewhere nice, then I’d like to take him up to my flat for a nightcap - or go to his.”</p><p>Fergus smirked. “I just bet you would.”</p><p>“Not like <i>that</i>, you fucking lech. I just mean… I’d like to spend some time with him one on one, with no one else around. No distractions. Just me and him.”</p><p>“What would you do, if you had him all to yourself like that?”</p><p>“I honestly don’t know. I guess I’d just wing it.”</p><p>“Is that the next step in your plan?”</p><p>“Winging it? That’s pretty much my <i>entire</i> plan.” Crowley groaned. “For me to have spent literal <i>years</i> plotting to do this, I don’t have much in the way of concrete plans.”</p><p>“Let me ask you something.”</p><p>“Shoot.”</p><p>“Are <i>you</i> giving off any signals that you’re attracted to <i>him</i>?”</p><p>Crowley took a minute to think that over. He honestly didn’t know.</p><p>“I only ask because if you’re acting the same as you always did <i>before</i>, why would he ever suspect things have changed?”</p><p>“That’s a damned fine point,” Crowley conceded. “I honestly don’t know <i>what</i> signals I’m giving off. I did get a little bit more honest with him than I’d intended to on Sunday.”</p><p>“How so?”</p><p>“We were talking and I told him about how much I’d missed him, and how that was why I hadn’t kept in close contact. That talking to him and seeing him when I was so far away had been painful, and that’s why I distanced myself.”</p><p>“How did he react to that?”</p><p>“He didn’t, really. He just said that he’d seen me online, living my best life, and had figured he’d just get in the way if he tried to reconnect.”</p><p>“Ouch.”</p><p>“Yeah. That stung.”</p><p>“Can I give you two bucks worth of advice?”</p><p>“I have a feeling you’re going to. Fuck, I probably need it.”</p><p>“I think you need to step up your game a little. Make your true feelings more obvious.”</p><p>“You think so?”</p><p>“I do. I don’t think you should serenade him or bombard him with flowers or anything, that may scare him, but maybe you should drop the occasional hint. Woo him just a little.”</p><p>“Like how?”</p><p>“Oh, come on, Crowley. I’ve been your friend for fifteen years. You know how to flirt. Just turn on the charm for him. Not much, not enough to send him running for the hills, but enough that your amorous intentions are more clear.”</p><p>“I think I can do that,” Crowley said pensively. “Should I drop the pact into conversation?”</p><p>“I wouldn’t, or he might get the wrong idea of your motives. He might think you’re <i>only</i> there because of the pact.”</p><p>“But I’m not.”</p><p>“I know that, and that’s why I’m telling you to <i>show</i> him how you feel before you bring it up. Slowly,” Fergus advised. “I know you can be as subtle as a baseball bat sometimes.”</p><p>“Any suggestions on <i>how</i> to strike that balance?”</p><p>“Not really. You’re fairly intelligent. You’ll figure it out.”</p><p>“Gee, thanks.”</p><p>“No problem. Happy to help.”</p><p>Crowley scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Got any more nuggets of wisdom?”</p><p>“Not really. I just expect frequent updates from you on how things are progressing.”</p><p>“Frequent, huh?”</p><p>“Yes, frequent. This is better than any TV show.”</p><p>Crowley snorted a laugh. “So good to provide you with entertainment. Fuck, I wish you were here. This would be a lot easier with my wingman.”</p><p>“I’m sorry I’m not. But you can do this. I know you can.”</p><p>“How are Ella and the kids?” Crowley asked, genuinely curious. He loved Fergus’ family, and thought of the boys as nephews. </p><p>“They’re all doing well. We took the training wheels off of Daniel’s bike this weekend.”</p><p>“I demand that you send me video,” Crowley said. </p><p>Fergus grinned. “I will.”</p><p>“And tell them that Uncle Crowley says hello and he loves them.”</p><p>“Will do that, too. They’re already asking about when you’re coming to visit.”</p><p>“Let me get my personal life here sorted and I’ll come - and bring Aziraphale.”</p><p>“You’d better. After hearing about this man for fifteen years, I’m dying to meet him.”</p><p>“You will one day. I promise.”</p><p>“I'm going to hold you to that. But for now, I’m pulling into the driveway and need to go.”</p><p>“Okay. Thanks for calling - and for the advice.”</p><p>“My pleasure. Check in with me sometime this weekend or next week, will you?”</p><p>“I will. Give my love to Ella.”</p><p>“I will. Talk to you later - and good luck.”</p><p>“Thanks. Bye.”</p><p>Crowley pressed the red button to end the call, then sat back in his office chair with a sigh. It felt good to be able to talk about this with someone instead of stewing over it in his own mind. Fergus had given him some things to think about, too. What if he <i>were</i> inadvertently sending out the wrong signal? Fergus was right - if he were doing what he always had, Aziraphale would have no idea that things had changed for him. But how should he go about wooing Aziraphale without hitting him over the head with his feelings? Fergus’ assessment that he wasn’t always subtle was accurate. He didn’t want to spook Aziraphale. There was a delicate balance to be struck here, and Crowley couldn’t help but feel a little anxious thinking about trying to achieve it. </p><p>But it would be worth it. All of it would be worth it when he was finally able to call Aziraphale his. Crowley couldn’t wait. </p><p>His mind swirling with potential ways to show Aziraphale how he felt, Crowey got to his feet, grabbed his half empty beer bottle, and wandered off towards the lounge.</p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div><i>Thursday, 30 July</i><p>Aziraphale pulled open the door to Tracy’s shop and entered, feeling a bit more trepidation than normal. So much had happened since the last time he’d had tea with her, and his mind was full. He was very much on the fence about whether to tell Tracy about Crowley, and if he did, how <i>much</i> to tell. On one hand, he was still trying to make sense of the developments of the last few days, himself, and perhaps <i>telling</i> someone would help him gain some perspective. The idea of sharing some of his thoughts with someone was very appealing, he had to admit, and besides Crowley, Tracy was his closest friend. </p><p>On the other hand, this all felt very… fragile. Sensitive. It felt like something that should be protected from prying eyes, and Tracy had a tendency to be a busybody. She would almost certainly leap to the <i>wrong</i> conclusion, he knew. </p><p>Oh, he had no idea what to do. There were pros and cons to both options. With a sigh, he figured he’d just let the conversation flow and see where it went. </p><p>He didn't see Tracy in the dining room, so he approached the counter where Anathema was standing. </p><p>“Hello,” he said with a smile. </p><p>“Hi! Aziraphale, right?”</p><p>“That’s right. Is Tracy about?”</p><p>“She’s in the back. I’ll go get her.”</p><p>“Thank you, dear,” Aziraphale said kindly. </p><p>“No problem. Be right back.”</p><p>She disappeared through the gauzy curtains and in just a moment, Tracy came hurrying in. “Zira, darling.”</p><p>“Hello, Tracy,” he greeted her, taking both hands into his and kissing each cheek. </p><p>“Come, sit, Zira. Anathema, some Earl Grey and scones to table forty-two, please.”</p><p>“Yes, ma’am.”</p><p>“How are you, dear?” he asked as he took his seat.</p><p>“Oh, I’m very well. And you?”</p><p>“I’m quite well, myself.”</p><p>“Are you sure? Your aura says something different.”</p><p>Aziraphale blinked. “What does my aura say?” he asked, despite not believing in such nonsense. </p><p>“Something has happened in the last week that has upset your life a great deal,” Tracy said, peering at him with narrowed eyes. “Your aura is very chaotic.”</p><p>Aziraphale had never been so grateful for anything as he was when Anathema appeared with the tea and scones, and he hoped that would be the end of it. Tracy poured the tea, like usual, and Aziraphale was cautiously optimistic. He was just about to take a bite of his scone when she said, “Would you like to tell me about what happened?”</p><p>Here it was, the moment of truth. His instinct was to deny her, to laugh her off, but something nagged at him to tell her what had happened. At least, <i>some</i> of it. </p><p>“You’re right,” Aziraphale admitted. “Something has happened. Something fairly significant.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Aziraphale took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts, weighing his words. “Have I ever mentioned my childhood best friend, Crowley?”</p><p>“I think so, once or twice. Didn’t he move to America or something?”</p><p>“Yes. Specifically, New York. Well, when I got back to my shop from visiting you last week, Newt told me I’d had a visitor. I figured that it was just someone looking to buy the shop, since it happens every so often, but it turned out to be Crowley. He’s back.”</p><p>“For how long?”</p><p>“Permanently. He moved back to the UK from New York about ten days ago.”</p><p>“And how are we feeling about this?” she asked shrewdly. </p><p>He gave a gentle smile. “I’m very excited.”</p><p>“That doesn’t explain your aura.”</p><p>“Well, I don’t know what to tell you about that.”</p><p>“What are you <i>really</i> feeling about him being back?”</p><p>That was the million quid question, wasn’t it? Aziraphale’s feelings were so mixed up, he scarcely knew how to sort them out in his own mind. He certainly didn’t know how to explain them to Tracy. </p><p>She narrowed her eyes at him. “There’s more, isn’t there? That you’re not telling me.”</p><p>Feeling caught out, Aziraphale lowered his eyes to his hands wrapped around the teacup. He still didn’t know how to articulate his thoughts, and wondered what to say. </p><p>He was surprised when he felt a warm hand cover his. </p><p>“You can tell me, Zira. It’s okay. I’m your friend. Tell me the truth.”</p><p>He sighed heavily. Why not? What could be the harm? Maybe if he let his thoughts out, he could make sense of them - or Tracy could. And at the very least, maybe she’d stop trying to set him up on dates. It couldn’t hurt. Right?</p><p>Aziraphale was quiet just a moment longer, then began, not looking up. “We met on the first day of kindergarten and became best friends right away. We were thick as thieves - you never saw one of us without the other. Yin and yang. I can’t stress enough how close we were. And it was that way until we went off to university - me to Oxford and him here in London.”</p><p>“You grew apart?”</p><p>“Yes, as I suppose most childhood friends do. We had planned to get a flat together after uni, but I stayed for my masters and he moved to the US just after I graduated. Naturally, we grew even further apart.” </p><p>She squeezed his hand. “I’m sorry. That must have hurt you terribly.”</p><p>Aziraphale nodded. “It did. Especially since…” He paused, gathering his mental and emotional strength to say words that he’d only allowed to exist inside his mind until this moment. A deep breath, then he admitted out loud for the first time, “Especially since I was madly in love with him.”</p><p>“Oh,” Tracy said, sounding surprised and withdrawing her hand. “You <i>were</i>... or you <i>are</i>?”</p><p>Aziraphale gave a short, sardonic laugh. “Well, that’s the question, isn’t it? Because I had <i>thought</i> my feelings for him were a thing of the past, properly contained and put in their place, but now that he’s <i>back</i>, it seems my feelings are, as well.”</p><p>Tracy was quiet a moment, and Aziraphale was, too. He had no idea what to say, really, so he kept quiet. </p><p>“How does <i>he</i> feel about <i>you</i>?”</p><p>“He’s never felt anything for me beyond friendship.”</p><p>“Do you know that for sure? Has he ever <i>told</i> you that?”</p><p>“No, but I’d bet my shop on it.”</p><p>“That’s an awfully big bet, Zira.”</p><p>“That’s how sure I am,” he replied with conviction. </p><p>“Well, what are you going to do?”</p><p>Aziraphale shrugged. “I don’t know, really. He asked me to rekindle our friendship, and of course I said yes. I missed him dreadfully for so long, and he <i>is</i> my best, longest friend. There’s something to be said for that.”</p><p>“What does that mean, ‘rekindling your friendship’? What does that look like?”</p><p>“Well, we went to dinner last week when he surprised me at the shop, then spent several hours together on Sunday. We have plans to see a play tonight and we’re going to Piccadilly Circus and a museum on Saturday.”</p><p>“It almost sounds like you’re dating.”</p><p>That hurt, and he flinched internally, shaking his head. “I can see where you might think so, but we’re not.”</p><p>“Do you <i>want</i> to rekindle your friendship with him?”</p><p>“Oh yes,” Aziraphale replied with feeling. “More than anything. I missed him like an ache for so long. Having him back in my life is a daydream come true. It’s almost like we’ve missed no time at all, when we’re together.”</p><p>“But you’re torn.”</p><p>“I suppose I am, in a way. On one hand, spending time with him makes me happier than I’ve been in years. But on the other hand, I feel as if I’m making myself vulnerable. It’s frightening, but the idea of <i>not</i> spending this time with him is unthinkable. I don’t know what to do,” he finished miserably. </p><p>Tracy appeared to be in thought for a moment, then offered, “Would you like for me to do a tarot reading for you? I know how you feel about the occult, but it couldn’t hurt. Free of charge, of course.”</p><p>Aziraphale gave her a wan smile. “No, thank you. You’re very kind to offer, however.”</p><p>“Well, what are you <i>going</i> to do?”</p><p>“I suppose I’m going to go ahead rekindling our friendship and see him as much as he wants, and try very hard not to go mad.”</p><p>“That doesn’t sound healthy,” she remarked with a frown.</p><p>“I fear it’s my only choice.”</p><p>Tracy pursed her lips. “Well, I honestly don’t know what to say. It sounds like a wonderful situation with some terrible parts to it. Like a chocolate chip cookie with surprise raisins in it.”</p><p>Aziraphale huffed a laugh. “That’s an apt description. But I don’t want you to think I’m not happy about this. The wonderful <i>far</i> outweighs the terrible. I really am <i>deliriously</i> happy that he’s back and we’re best friends again. I just wish I could turn these feelings off.”</p><p>“I understand that. I wish there was more I could do.”</p><p>“Just letting me talk about this has helped tremendously. I feel much better for having spoken it aloud.” And it was true. In a way, he <i>did</i> feel better. In another, he felt a little bit more hopeless. But he didn’t dare say that.</p><p>“I’m always here if you need an ear to bend, Zira. You know that. And that offer for the reading is good at any time. Just let me know.”</p><p>He smiled warmly. “Thank you, dear.”</p><p>Tracy gave him one more smile, then changed the subject, for which Aziraphale was grateful. They chatted about this and that through a second cup of tea, and when Aziraphale left half an hour later to go back to the shop, he did so feeling a little bit lighter. Perhaps confession was good for the soul. </p><p>But he didn't have long to ponder on that: it was half four, and Crowley would be arriving to pick him up in an hour and a half. Despite everything, he couldn’t <i>wait</i>, and spent the walk home pondering what to wear.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This story is officially finished. It's in the can and the whole thing has been beta'd. The epilogue will go up in late October. &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>...In which our story earns its rating (for the first time)...</p><p> </p><p>
  <i>Your memory seems like a living thing</i>
  <br/>
  <i>I never know if I'm imagining</i>
  <br/>
  <i>I look at your face and I know that it's impossible</i>
  <br/>
  <i>Forgetting is just a dream</i>
  <br/>
  <i>Now I'm hearing your voice saying 'anything is possible'</i>
  <br/>
  <i>Forgetting is just a dream</i>
  <br/>
  <i>And I still can't see why you keep invading my mind</i>
  <br/>
  <i>But this uncontrolled fixation grows weaker with time...</i>
</p><p>'The Waiting Game' - TR</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Well,” Aziraphale said as they exited the theater onto the pavement of Covent Garden. “That was truly exhilarating.”</p><p>Crowley was grinning at him. He hadn’t put his sunglasses back on, and Aziraphale could see his yellow eyes twinkling. The neon lights were casting fascinating shadows on his face and Aziraphale was mesmerised by how beautiful he was. The lines and angles of his face intersected in simply the most gorgeous ways…</p><p>“I’m glad you enjoyed it, angel,” he said, still smiling. </p><p>Aziraphale shook himself mentally. He <i>really</i> needed to get a better grip on himself. Staring at Crowley like a lovestruck teenager… What was wrong with him? He’d ruin everything and drive Crowley away if he wasn’t careful!</p><p>With a light clearing of his throat, he picked up the thread of the conversation. “I did enjoy it very much, despite it being so scary.”</p><p>“Oh, it wasn’t <i>that</i> scary.”</p><p>“It was! I was very frightened. And every time the woman in black came onto the stage, my heart leapt into my throat.”</p><p>“What woman?” Crowley asked, his brow furrowed. </p><p>“The woman in black. The widow.”</p><p>“I don’t remember seeing any woman.”</p><p>“Oh, but you must have! She came out onto the stage several times!”</p><p>“Are you feeling alright? Do you need to lie down?” Crowley asked, looking concerned. </p><p>“How could you have missed her?” he cried. “She was…” He froze when he saw the corner of Crowley’s mouth quirk up and his eyes twinkle. Realization set in and his eyes narrowed. “You’re pulling my leg.”</p><p>Crowley’s response was to break into a laugh, and Aziraphale scowled at him. </p><p>“I know you think you’re being terribly funny but you’re <i>not</i>,” he grumped, fighting the urge to laugh along with Crowley, unable to completely hide his smile. </p><p>Crowley’s laugh faded into a grin. “Ah, I’m sorry, angel. I just saw the opportunity and couldn’t help it. Thought it might lighten the mood a bit. Besides, you’re too cute when you’re flustered. Forgive me?”</p><p>Aziraphale froze at the word ‘cute’, his entire body going stiff. <i>It’s just an odd word choice, that’s all</i>, he told himself, and relaxed. “Of course I do, dear. Always.”</p><p>“Good. And I need you to forgive me for not warning you about that play, too. I had heard it was scary, and I know you don’t like scary things.”</p><p>“I don’t <i>mind</i> them…”</p><p>Crowley gave him a look. “Aziraphale, it’s me you’re talking to. I’ve known you your whole life, and I distinctly remember how you always hid your face during large portions of films you considered ‘scary’ when we were kids. Does Gremlins ring a bell?”</p><p>Aziraphale huffed. “To a small child, Gremlins was <i>very</i> scary, I’ll have you know. But I’m fully grown now, and less easily spooked.”</p><p>Crowley grinned. “You <i>just</i> complained about how scary you found ‘The Woman In Black’. Not two minutes ago.”</p><p>“I wasn’t <i>complaining</i>, I was <i>remarking</i>. And it wasn’t <i>too</i> scary. I won’t be sleeping with the lights on tonight or anything.”</p><p>“Well, that’s good to hear. But if you want me to come up to your flat when we get there and check for boogeymen or women dressed in black, I’m game. I’ll protect you, angel. Keep you safe.”</p><p>An offer to come up to his flat and protect him? No, he was only joking. That’s all. Just a joke. Aziraphale put on a sarcastic look. “Oh, haha. You’re <i>hilarious</i>.”</p><p>Crowley’s smile was wide, denting his cheeks and crinkling beside his twinkling eyes, and oh, heavens. How was it possible for one man to be so <i>beautiful</i>? Aziraphale simply didn’t understand. </p><p>The red haired man looked over his shoulder, then checked his watch. “It’s only nine thirty. Would you like to have a drink before I drop you home? There’s a wine bar near here, just across the street, that got good reviews on Yelp,” he said, gesturing behind him. “And to be honest, I’m not ready to be done with tonight. I’d like to spend more time with you, if you’re willing.”</p><p>Aziraphale knew he shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t. The more time he spent with Crowley, the deeper he fell. There was no way this could end except in disaster for him and his heart. He should say no and ask to be taken home, where he could spend the next thirty-six hours bracing himself to spend time with Crowley on Saturday. He really, really should distance himself…</p><p>But instead, he gave a radiant smile and said, “I’m more than willing, dear, I’d love to. Lead the way.”</p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div>The bar was busy but not too busy, and they were seated fairly soon after arriving at a small table in a cozy corner. They each ordered a glass of wine - red for Crowley and white for Aziraphale - and when the wine arrived, Crowley raised his glass and proposed a toast. <p>“To what, dear?” Aziraphale asked curiously. </p><p>“To old friends and new beginnings.”</p><p>Aziraphale smiled. “Hear, hear.”</p><p>They clinked glasses and each took a sip. Aziraphale’s eyes were drawn to the long line of Crowley’s neck, and the way his Adam's apple bobbed when he swallowed. He wanted to nibble it. </p><p><i>No! Focus!</i> he admonished himself, looking away hurriedly and putting his glass down. If Crowley thought his behavior was odd, he didn’t let on.</p><p>“So!” he said brightly when he recovered. “You mentioned earlier that you’d developed a taste for plays by visiting Broadway.”</p><p>“I did,” Crowley confirmed.</p><p>“Did you see a great many productions?”</p><p>Crowley shrugged. “I saw a fair few. Twenty or so.”</p><p>“Twenty. My goodness. You’re more cultured than I realized.”</p><p>He laughed. “That’s me. I’m terribly cultured.”</p><p>“Well you <i>are</i>. Compared to me, anyway. This was the first play I’ve seen since… well. It’s been a few years. At least ten.”</p><p>“Maybe we should make a habit of seeing plays more often,” Crowley suggested. “It could be something we do together: we take in a play every month or so.” </p><p>“I think that’s a <i>lovely</i> idea, dear. We should absolutely do that.”</p><p>“Then we will,” Crowley said with a grin. “We’ll have a standing date.”</p><p>Aziraphale felt a thrill race all over him at the word ‘date’, but chastised himself sharply. That was <i>not</i> what Crowley meant, and he knew it.</p><p>“I very much look forward to it. Tell me, have you seen Hamilton?”</p><p>Crowley swallowed his sip of wine and nodded. “I have. Twice.”</p><p>“Is it as good as people say? I’m not <i>terribly</i> plugged in to pop culture, but it’s somewhat inescapable, even here.”</p><p>“Yeah, I was surprised by the fact that it’s even remotely popular here, given the content.”</p><p>“Indeed. It seems as if the British wouldn’t care for it.”</p><p>“It does seem that way, doesn’t it? But to answer your question, yes, it’s very good, for what it is. It’s not terribly accurate, but then most plays and films based on real events or people aren’t. I enjoyed it, despite being British. My American friends loved it, though. Particularly my mate Fergus’ wife, Ella. She knows every word to every song and has seen it four times.”</p><p>The smile on Aziraphale’s face faded just a bit. “This is the first time you’ve mentioned friends in New York.”</p><p>“Well of course I <i>had</i> friends,” Crowley scoffed. </p><p>“I know, I never dreamed that you didn’t have scads of friends. It’s only that you haven’t mentioned them until now.”</p><p>Crowley shrugged. “I didn’t want to bore you with it. Or them.”</p><p>“It’s not boring to me if it matters to you, dear,” Aziraphale said. “Would you like to tell me about them?”</p><p>“Nothing to tell, really. Fergus was my closest friend. He and his wife, Ella. I met him not long after I arrived in New York and we… became close. I was a groomsman when he married Ella, and was there in the waiting room when his sons were born. I’m their godfather, and ‘Uncle Crowley’.”</p><p>“Uncle Crowley. That’s nice. Do you miss them terribly?”</p><p>“Nah,” Crowley deflected. “Haven’t had much of a chance to miss them yet. It’s only been two weeks. And I just spoke with Fergus Tuesday. He sent me a video of my nephew riding his bike without training wheels.”</p><p>“Oh, how lovely.”</p><p>Crowley took another sip of his wine, then smacked his lips. “I’ve missed this.”</p><p>Aziraphale felt a thrill he tried to deny. “Missed what?”</p><p>Crowley’s yellow eyes twinkled knowingly, and Aziraphale thought (hoped) he was going to say ‘you’, but he said, “Good wine.”</p><p>He didn’t know whether he was disappointed or relieved. “Oh, yes, of course. I hear Californian wine is very good, though.”</p><p>“It’s alright, but I much prefer French.”</p><p>“Can you not get French wine over there?”</p><p>“You can, but it tends to be much more expensive.”</p><p>“Ah, yes. I imagine so.” He thought for a moment, trying to come up with a way to further conversation, and said, “You spent so long over there… has it been hard coming back?”</p><p>“Not really,” Crowley said. “Moving there to begin with was quite a culture shock, but moving back has been easier.” </p><p>“What’s different?” </p><p>“Well, take what we’re doing now: sitting in a bar, having a drink. In the US, the waitress hardly gets paid any salary at all - her income comes almost exclusively from tips. So she’s going to be hustling to provide the best, most friendly service possible. That’s true of most customer service positions, actually, not just waitstaff. Everyone is falsely cheery in business transactions. It took a long time to get used to. But you’d be surprised how many people <i>have</i> to be that way in order to earn tips. Cab drivers, bartenders, bellhops, hairstylists… even pizza delivery drivers get tipped.”</p><p>“You’re joking.”</p><p>“I’m not. So that was a huge change to adjust to. Driving on the right side of the road took a while, too, and the drivers and passenger’s side of the car being flip-flopped. I went to the passenger side of my hired SUV nearly every morning on my way to work for the first few days back in London.”</p><p>Aziraphale giggled. “I bet you felt silly.”</p><p>“Pretty fucking ridiculous, yeah,” Crowley agreed with a grin. He took another sip of his wine, his eyes never leaving Aziraphale, and there was something in them that Aziraphale couldn’t identify. Something like <i>heat</i>. It made his insides curl with want. </p><p>“All in all, I’m just glad to be back in the UK - for a multitude of reasons.” </p><p>Oh, how Aziraphale wished to be one of those reasons. Maybe he actually <i>was</i>, he thought. Crowley certainly seemed happy to be back, spending time with him. It wasn’t completely inconceivable that maybe he actually <i>was</i> one of those reasons.</p><p>Crowley’s eyes had gotten even more intense all of the sudden, like he was trying to communicate something without words, and Aziraphale found that he couldn’t hold his gaze. He looked away, flushing. </p><p>The hostess was coming towards them, leading a pair of men who were obviously a couple. They were holding hands as they walked, smiling at each other and the people around them, clearly blissfully happy. They passed the table and Aziraphale's eyes followed them, watching as the two men separated with a quick kiss and went to opposite sides of the table. He couldn’t help but notice matching rings on their left hands, and his heart burned with jealousy. </p><p>When he turned back to Crowley, Crowley had followed his gaze and was looking at the two men, too. Aziraphale flushed a little more when Crowley returned his eyes to him. </p><p>“They look happy,” Crowley remarked. </p><p>Aziraphale nodded. “They do. Did you ever think we’d see the day when two men could be publicly in love - and married to each other?”</p><p>Crowley’s yellow eyes were soft, but not as soft as his voice. “I had hopes.”</p><p>His words made Aziraphale flush even darker and lower his eyes.</p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div>Crowley let himself into his flat, tossing his keys and sunglasses over to the table in the foyer as the door closed. There was a small smile playing at his lips, but that was nothing surprising. He had Aziraphale on the brain, and he <i>always</i> smiled when he thought of Aziraphale. <p>Humming slightly to himself, his mind full of the angel, he made his way down the corridor to his bedroom. It had been a <i>lovely</i> evening, one of the best Crowley had spent in… fuck. He didn’t know how long. Maybe ever. He’d left work slightly early and picked up Aziraphale from the shop at six, a half hour before closing, allowing himself to be introduced to the young man that worked for Aziraphale for the first (official) time. Aziraphale had given the boy a few last minute pointers and reminded him to phone in case of emergency, and they’d been off. Crowley had suggested they get dinner in Covent Garden, and Aziraphale had agreed, so Crowley took him to a little Italian restaurant he’d found while googling ‘romantic date ideas’. The restaurant <i>had</i> been romantic, and Aziraphale had seemed pleased, which pleased Crowley. They’d had a nice dinner, the only down note being Aziraphale’s anxiety about leaving Newt in charge of the shop. When closing time came and went without a panicked call from the boy, though, Aziraphale seemed to relax a bit more. Crowley was glad. </p><p>The play had been fine, but to Crowley’s mind, the best part had been sitting so close to Aziraphale - so close their thighs touched occasionally. It was the closest he’d been to Aziraphale in literal <i>decades</i>, barring the occasional hug, and the proximity had made him dizzy. Aziraphale smelled <i>so good</i>, like sandalwood and spices and old paper. It was absolutely intoxicating, and he’d had a hard time concentrating on the play. </p><p>After, at the wine bar, he’d made a conscious decision to leave his glasses off. He’d wanted no barrier between himself and Aziraphale and besides, weren’t the eyes the windows to the soul? It had felt vulnerable, being bare in front of him, but he’d <i>liked</i> that feeling. He’d liked the way Aziraphale’s blue eyes frequently found his own even better, and resolved to himself over their second glass of wine to leave his glasses off as much as possible in the future. </p><p>He’d flirted a little with Aziraphale, doing his best to communicate his intentions without being too obvious. It had seemed that he’d hit the mark a few times, if Aziraphale’s flushing reactions were to be believed. He was making progress. It was dizzying.</p><p>Twenty minutes ago, he’d dropped Aziraphale in Soho - reluctantly. If it had been up to him, he'd have followed Aziraphale up to his flat and stayed with him forever, but it wasn’t time for that yet. Soon, he hoped, but not yet. </p><p>Crowley stripped out of his clothes with little care for them, not really paying attention to what he was doing, until he was in his boxer briefs. Quickly, he brushed his teeth and set his alarm and crawled into his large, empty bed. Hopefully soon it wouldn’t be so empty. Christ, he hoped.</p><p>He switched off the light beside the bed and reclined into the pillows, tucking his hands behind his head, smiling up at the ceiling, thinking of Aziraphale. He’d spent many, many long nights in a lonely bed, thinking of Aziraphale, but now, there was <i>hope</i> where there’d been so little of it before. All the signs seemed to be pointing towards Aziraphale being attracted to <i>him</i> as well, and he was encouraged. Sooner or later, Aziraphale’s heart would be his - and he was really starting to think that it would be ‘sooner’. He was more sure of that every single time he saw Aziraphale. His plan would work - <i>was</i> working. He was making inroads. It was just a matter of time. </p><p>As he lay there, Crowley wondered what steps to take next. They had plans to see each other Saturday, to visit a museum and Piccadilly, but Crowley wanted more than that. He wanted to get Aziraphale alone somewhere, like one of their flats, and just… be with him. That had always been his favorite thing, and he <i>craved</i> that. Besides that, they had a lot to talk about. There was a big part of Crowley that wanted to have Aziraphale tell him all about his past relationships, so Crowley would have a better idea of what to do and what to avoid. He wanted to get everything just <i>perfect</i> for Aziraphale, and as much as he knew it would bug him to hear Aziraphale talk about other men, Crowley felt like it might be important. </p><p>Or, he thought, it could be a horrible idea. That was a possibility, too. This was the sort of thing he needed Fergus for. Fergus would know. Crowley resolved to text him the next morning. </p><p>For now, Crowley lay there and stared at the ceiling, daydreaming about Aziraphale and spending time with him. Would he be able to talk Aziraphale into being alone with him? He felt like he <i>would</i>, but he didn’t want to simply invite himself up to Aziraphale’s flat for no reason. How could he do it? What reason could he give?</p><p>Inspiration burst and he rolled over, reaching for his mobile, pulling up Aziraphale’s contact. </p><p>Crowley: <i>sorry for texting so late. do you have a dvd player? or netflix?</i><br/>Aziraphale: <i>You didn’t wake me. And I have both.</i><br/>Crowley:<i> what do you say we come back to yours after the museum, order food, and watch a couple of old movies?</i></p><p>He had to wait a minute for the response.</p><p>Aziraphale: <i>What movies?</i><br/>Crowley:<i> I dunno. how about ghostbusters 1&amp;2?</i><br/>Aziraphale:<i> Shall we build a pillow fort, too?</i></p><p>Crowley chuckled. Cheeky bugger.</p><p>Crowley: <i>we can if you want ;)</i><br/>Aziraphale: <i>That sounds like fun. I’ll make sure to have some drinks and popcorn. Red wine, right?</i><br/>Crowley: <i>that sounds perfect. sleep sweet, angel. talk to you tomorrow. </i><br/>Aziraphale: <i>Goodnight, dear.</i></p><p>Crowley replaced his phone on the nightstand and rolled back into position. <i>Perfect.</i> That was just perfect. They’d watch movies they’d seen a dozen times and talk and laugh and just <i>be together</i>. The first Saturday night of what Crowley hoped was six thousand years of Saturdays. </p><p>Closing his eyes, Crowley let his mind float away with him. He’d never seen Aziraphale’s flat, but he knew his angel well enough to have a fair idea of what it would look like: squishy, well-loved furniture in a neutral shade, the walls lined with bookshelves, and books on every flat surface. Just for fun, he imagined that this little fantasy he was about to indulge in was taking place on some future date, when they were already in an established relationship, and added a few plants to his mental picture. </p><p>
  <i>The light from the telly flickered over Aziraphale’s face, but Crowley couldn’t care less about what was on the screen. His eyes were locked on the angel, studying his gorgeous profile. Fuck, he was the most beautiful thing Crowley had ever seen, and he wanted to touch. Now.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>He leaned over and started pressing kisses to Aziraphale’s neck: soft, sweet, nipping kisses that allowed him to get some of the angel’s taste. Between kisses, he took a deep breath of Aziraphale’s scent, letting it fill his lungs.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>”I’m watching the movie,” Aziraphale complained, but there was a smile in his voice, and Crowley knew from experience that he didn’t actually mind.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>”We’ve seen this,” he murmured against the skin of Aziraphale’s neck.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>”My dear…”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Crowley took his earlobe between his lips at the same time he slid his hand into Aziraphale’s lap to cover his cock. He was thrilled to find Aziraphale already hard, and started stroking him lightly, teasingly.</i>
</p><p>Crowley slid his fingers up and down his bare torso, then traced the edge of the boxers, his respirations increasing slightly. </p><p>
  <i>”I want you,” he whispered into Aziraphale’s ear when he released the earlobe he’d been sucking.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>”How do you want me, you greedy thing?”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>”Right here and right now. Touch me.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>He was rewarded when he felt Aziraphale’s fingers grip him through his denims and begin stroking.</i>
</p><p>Crowley used the tips of his fingers to trace the hard outline of his cock through his underwear. </p><p><i>He’d waited long enough, he decided, and needed to kiss his love </i>now.<i> He used his free hand to turn Aziraphale’s face towards his and captured his mouth in a wet, messy kiss. They were both panting for air when they broke apart a minute later, foreheads against each other, eyes closed. Aziraphale’s hand was still pumping him and he was working Aziraphale, too, his heart hammering in his chest.</i></p><p>
  <i>Suddenly they were both naked, all their clothes magically gone, and Crowley climbed into Aziraphale’s lap, straddling his legs, their cocks bumping together. Aziraphale used one large hand to wrap around them both and begin stroking.</i>
</p><p>Crowley hurriedly shoved down his boxer briefs, grabbing his throbbing cock as soon as he was able, pumping it steadily, his breath growing choppy. </p><p>
  <i>He kissed Aziraphale, clinging to his neck, rolling his hips, thrusting into Aziraphale’s hand. The friction of their cocks rubbing together was incredible, and Crowley was finding himself close already. Aziraphale tightened his grip around their cocks, speeding up the motions of his hand, and Crowley keened.</i>
</p><p>“Angel...angel,” he whined aloud, eyes slammed shut and his head tossing on the pillow, lost in the fantasy as he fucked his fist harder and faster. </p><p>
  <i>”Come for me, Crowley. Come, my dear boy. I want you to come for me.”</i>
</p><p>“Say it,” Crowley whimpered, the way he nearly always did.</p><p>
  <i>Aziraphale gave him a sly smile, then breathed, “I love you.”</i>
</p><p>Crowley erupted with a cry, his hips thrusting up into nothing and his come splashing warm onto his bare belly, covering his hand. He stroked himself until he couldn’t take anymore, then collapsed back onto the bed. He lay there for a minute, letting the tingling aftershocks wash over him, panting for breath and getting his bearings. When he’d come down a bit from his high, he opened his eyes and gave a contented sigh, then reached over to the nightstand for the tissues to clean himself up. </p><p>Once he was clean, he lay back down and let his mind wander further, to what afterglow with Aziraphale would be like. There would be kissing and touching and declarations of love, and Crowley knew, he <i>knew</i>, that while making love to Aziraphale would be the best sex of his life, because he was in love with the person he was making love to, the tender kissing and touching and moments after were going to be his favorite part. He just <i>knew</i> it, and he couldn’t fucking wait. </p><p>He drifted off to sleep with a smile, thoughts of Aziraphale filling his mind.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Today, August 27, 2020, is Aziraphale's fortieth birthday in this story. To celebrate, you guys get a gift. &lt;3 </p><p> </p><p><i>But I swear here and now, your heart will be mine</i><br/><i>You'll surrender to my love, my weapon is time</i><br/><i>And your wall of resistance, I will slowly undermine</i><br/><i>While your uncontrolled fixation grows stronger with time...</i><br/>'The Waiting Game' - TR</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>Saturday, 1 August</i>
</p><p>Aziraphale was laughing as he climbed the stairs to his flat, Crowley just behind him, laughing along with him. </p><p>“And then I said, ‘Not you, I know what <i>you</i> smell like’,” Crowley said.</p><p>“You did! Do you remember the look on her face when you said that?”</p><p>“Only too well,” Crowley said with a laugh. “It’s a look I’ll treasure for six thousand years. I also remember how quick she was to call our parents.”</p><p>“Ugh, yes. I had my library card revoked for two weeks because of that,” Aziraphale complained, pulling his key out to unlock the door.</p><p>Crowley chuckled. “It has never stopped being amusing to me that when your mother wanted to punish you, she did so by taking away your access to <i>books</i>.”</p><p>“Yes, well, she knew how to get me. Either that, or she’d threaten me with <i>you.</i> That always got me back in line quickly.”</p><p>“Fuck, yeah, that would have set me straight, too. That would have been a nightmare, taking you away from me.”</p><p>“I’m very glad she never did it.”</p><p>“Me, too,” Crowley said with feeling.</p><p>Aziraphale did his best not to flush this time and pushed open his door. “After you,” he said, holding it open for Crowley. </p><p>Crowley grinned at him as he passed, stepping into the flat, and Aziraphale followed, swallowing his sudden nerves. There was no reason to be nervous, he told himself. They had spent countless evenings together, watching films. This was nothing special. Just a return to old times. This was <i>Crowley.</i></p><p><i>Exactly</i>, his brain retorted. <i>It’s</i> Crowley. <i>And he’s been behaving very strangely. Almost as if he wants you. The way he’s been looking at you...</i></p><p>He cleared his throat to dismiss his foolish thoughts as he closed the door. When he turned around, Crowley was slipping his sunglasses into the pocket of his jacket and looking around, a small smile still on his face. </p><p>“It’s nothing spectacular, I’m afraid,” Aziraphale said at once, feeling a little self-conscious.</p><p>“No,” Crowley said, still looking around the cluttered lounge. “It’s <i>exactly</i> what I’d pictured.”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“Oh, yes. It’s very <i>you</i>.”</p><p>“Thank you - I think.”</p><p>“It was a compliment. It’s very cozy and lived in, in the best possible way. Very comfortable. Somewhere I’d like to spend a lot of time. Just like you.”</p><p>Aziraphale <i>did</i> flush this time. “Well, I’m pleased to hear that. And I <i>do</i> want you to make yourself comfortable here. As they say, ‘mi casa es su casa’.”</p><p>Crowley grinned at him. “I had no idea you spoke Spanish.”</p><p>“I don't, not really. I took a class in uni, but that was twenty years ago now, and I wasn’t exactly getting top marks.” </p><p>“Oh, I don’t believe that. I’m certain my angel never got <i>below</i> top marks.”</p><p>“I did in Spanish!” Aziraphale protested, ignoring the word ‘my’ in there. “I did much better in Latin, really.”</p><p>“Now <i>that</i> I believe,” Crowley said. “Latin seems to be right up your alley.”</p><p>“Well, yes. And it has come in handy.”</p><p>“I bet so, doing what you do.”</p><p>“Yes, quite so.”</p><p>Aziraphale’s brain stalled out and he tried to think of something to say. They both stood there, by the door, and Crowley was giving him the same look he had in the wine bar the other night and a few other times today, the heated look that Aziraphale didn’t understand.  The moment stretched out, until Aziraphale landed on something to say to break the moment: “Are you hungry?”</p><p>“I’m not starving,” Crowley said, “But it is tea time. Are <i>you</i> hungry?”</p><p>“I’m not famished, but I could eat, if pressed.”</p><p>“Why don’t we watch the first movie and see where we are when it goes off? Perhaps we’ll both be hungry by then.”</p><p>“That sounds like an excellent plan. Have you got the films?”</p><p>Crowley held up the two DVD boxes he’d brought from his car. “Got ‘em right here.”</p><p>“Excellent. Why don’t you get them set up and I’ll go get us some drinks. Wine?”</p><p>“Red would be great, if you have it.”</p><p>“Tickety boo. I’ll be right back.”</p><p>He left Crowley in his lounge and went to the kitchen. As soon as he was out of sight, he took a second and leaned against the wall, his eyes skyward.</p><p>“Oh, lord,” he prayed, his voice barely more than a breath. “I know we don’t talk much anymore, but <i>please</i> don’t let me make a fool out of myself. I’m <i>begging</i> you to take these feelings away.”</p><p>No answer was forthcoming, and Aziraphale sighed, pushing off the wall to get the wine. </p><p>When he came back into the lounge carrying two bottles and two glasses, Crowley was sprawled across his couch as if he owned the place. Aziraphale felt a thrill, seeing him so at ease in his space. It was so incredibly <i>sexy</i> Aziraphale didn’t know if he could stand himself. </p><p>Crowley straightened slightly when he caught sight of Aziraphale standing there. “Sorry, sorry. I shouldn’t get quite so comfortable.”</p><p>“Nonsense,” Aziraphale replied, bustling over to the couch. “As I said, I <i>want</i> you to be comfortable here. In fact, I hope that in time, you’ll come to see my place as a second home for you, the way you did when we were children.”</p><p>Crowley was giving him an odd look, his yellow eyes intense. “You’d really like that?”</p><p>Aziraphale gave a jerky nod as he sat down, putting the wine and glasses on the coffee table. “Of course. Have you got the film ready?”</p><p>“Oh. Yeah. Yeah, it’s ready. Do you need a blanket or something to hide your face in?”</p><p>“Oh, haha.”</p><p>Crowley was smirking, and then his eyes glittered. “Don’t worry, angel. If you get scared, I’ll protect you.”</p><p>Aziraphale did his best not to let Crowley see how that affected him, instead he rolled his eyes and gave a little shake of the head as he worked the cork out of the bottle of red with some effort. “You’re so funny.”</p><p>Crowley didn’t respond, he was watching Aziraphale struggle with the bottle with wide eyes. “Do you - do you need me to help?”</p><p>“No, I’ve almost… got it…” Aziraphale managed between gritted teeth, then the cork popped. “Aha!” he said triumphantly. “Got it.”</p><p>Crowley’s eyes were still wide, and he swallowed. “You did, yes.” He took the freshly poured glass when Aziraphale handed it to him and took a long swig, while Aziraphale worked on the white.</p><p>Once it, too, was open and he had a glass of his own, he turned and smiled at Crowley. His best friend looked flustered, and Aziraphale’s smile dissolved into a look of concern. </p><p>“My dear, are you alright?”</p><p>“I’m fine,” Crowley said, his face clearing at once. “Are you ready to start the film?”</p><p>“Yes, absolutely.”</p><p>Crowley picked up the remote, aimed it at the telly, and started the film.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div>An hour and a half later, the credits started to roll and Crowley raised the remote again to stop the film. They’d chatted throughout the whole movie, making comments and observations, sometimes reminiscing, and it had been the most enjoyable experience Aziraphale had had watching a film in many years.<p>“Well, that was a nice little trip down memory lane,” he said. </p><p>“Yeah, for me, too. I haven’t seen that in <i>years</i>. The last time I saw it was with you, probably.”</p><p>“Oh, that <i>has</i> been a while. I think I’ve caught snippets of it on telly from time to time, but as far as sitting down and actually watching… it’s probably been the same amount of time for me.”</p><p>Crowley gave him a lopsided grin. “All this time, and you’re still defending the EPA man.”</p><p>“And I’m <i>right</i>,” Aziraphale replied. “I was right when we were young and I’m right now. Housing all those ghosts… it’s <i>dangerous</i>. Surely you can see that, now that we’re adults.”</p><p>“Oh, I get what you’re saying. It’s just so fun to ruffle you. You’re incredibly cute when you’re ruffled.”</p><p>Aziraphale flushed and looked away. Why did he keep saying things like that?</p><p>“Do you remember the time we tried to make our own proton packs? And ghost trap?”</p><p>Aziraphale turned back to him with a smile. “Very well. And then we pretended to be <i>real</i> ghostbusters.”</p><p>“The only thing we caught was my cat,” Crowley laughed. </p><p>“And she thanked you with a nice scratch,” Aziraphale replied, also laughing. </p><p>“Hateful old feline,” Crowley muttered, although his tone was fond.</p><p>Aziraphale wasn’t fooled. “I seem to remember you being most upset when she died.”</p><p>“Yeah, I was. But I didn’t miss being scratched. She was more my mum’s cat, anyway. At least the cats mum has now are nicer.”</p><p>“When are you going to see her again?”</p><p>“Tomorrow. I’ll leave town whenever I wake up and come back after tea.”</p><p>“I’m sure she’ll be thrilled to see you.”</p><p>“She’s my mum. She kinda <i>has</i> to be excited when I come around.”</p><p>“Or it could simply be because she enjoys your company. I’m <i>not</i> your mum, and I find myself very excited when you come around.”</p><p>He realized what he’d said as soon as it had left his mouth, but it was too late to call it back. He felt his cheeks burn and before he turned away from Crowley, he caught the other man’s delighted look. </p><p>“Speaking of tea time, I suppose we should order some dinner. What would you like?”</p><p>It seemed to take Crowley a minute to recover. “I, uh, I don't know. What are you in the mood for?”</p><p>“How about pizza?” Aziraphale suggested, feeling his blush fading. “Do you still like pepperoni and mushrooms?”</p><p>“I do. That would be fine - but only if you’ll let me pay.”</p><p>“You don’t have to -”</p><p>“I want to. Please.”</p><p>“Oh, alright. I’ll go call it in,” Aziraphale said, getting to his feet to go to the kitchen and retrieve the number. When he came back, Crowley had refilled both of their wine glasses for a second time and had his arm thrown across the back of the couch.</p><p>“Thank you, dear,” Aziraphale said with a smile as he took his seat.</p><p>“You’re welcome. Would you like to start the next one or wait for the food?”</p><p>“Let’s go ahead and start it. We can pause when the food arrives.”</p><p>“Sounds good to me,” Crowley said, then aimed the remote at the telly again.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div>The second movie went much like the first, except now they were making their little comments around mouths full of pizza. It was comfortable, just like old times. Except… well… it seemed Crowley was slowly working his way closer to Aziraphale as the movie wore on. But that couldn’t be the case, could it? Of course not. Aziraphale must be imagining things, he decided. Maybe he’d had too much wine. He didn’t <i>feel</i> drunk, not even in the slightest, but that was the only explanation that made sense. He resolved to switch to water after he finished this glass.<p>When the film ended, Crowley was sitting just a few inches away, his arm still thrown lazily across the back of the couch - behind Aziraphale’s shoulders. Aziraphale resisted the impulse to scoot closer. </p><p>“God, Yanosh is such a tool,” Crowley said, grabbing his wine glass and draining it. Both bottles were nearly empty. </p><p>“Yes, I never found him very likable. But I don’t think he was <i>suppposed</i> to be.”</p><p>“Well, they succeeded on that front. He’s not.”</p><p>Crowley had moved a little closer: mere centimeters, but Aziraphale was keenly aware of his proximity. This close, he could <i>smell</i> Crowley and goodness, he smelled so <i>good</i>. Like spices and musk and something almost smoky. Aziraphale knotted his fingers in his lap and looked down at them, trying to gather his thoughts. </p><p>“So,” Crowley said in a low voice that in Aziraphale’s ears was seductive. It made him shiver a little. “What do we do now?”</p><p>“I, um, I’m afraid I don’t quite know.”</p><p>He could <i>feel</i> Crowley looking at him, the weight of his gaze like a physical caress, and it made him shiver again, involuntarily. </p><p>“Are you alright, angel?” Crowley asked, his voice concerned. Aziraphale nearly leaped out of his skin when he felt fingertips tracing along his opposite shoulder gently.</p><p>“I’m fine,” he said, louder than he’d intended, then cleared his throat a little and smiled at Crowley. Oh, he was so <i>close</i>, and so <i>gorgeous</i>. He wanted Crowley closer… closer… until they were touching even more. But that was <i>wrong</i>. Wasn’t it? Aziraphale’s eyes were drawn to his lips, and he glanced away hurriedly. “I’m fine, dear. Tickety boo.”</p><p>“Can I ask you something?”</p><p>“You can ask me anything,” Aziraphale said with a smile at him. </p><p>“I have several questions, actually. They all build on each other.”</p><p>“You can - you can ask them all.” His heart was fluttering in his chest, Crowley was still touching him, and nothing made sense. He felt like he could jump out of his skin with anticipation - even though he had no idea what he was anticipating. </p><p>“Thank you. My first question is this: are you drunk?”</p><p>Aziraphale shook his head swiftly. He hadn’t felt drunk to begin with, and was feeling more and more sober every second. “No, I’m not.”</p><p>Crowley crept a little closer. “Are you sure?”</p><p>“I am, yes. I’m quite clear-headed. Are - are you?” Perhaps that would explain things. Crowley was drunk and doing things he wouldn’t ordinarily do.</p><p>“No, I’m not drunk. I’m going to call an Uber to take me home in a little while, but that’s more out of an abundance of caution. I’m fully in control of my faculties.”</p><p>Aziraphale swallowed hard. “You don’t - you don’t have to take an Uber. You can stay here with me. I don’t have a spare bedroom, but we’ve shared a bed before…”</p><p>Crowley grinned, his eyes darting all over Aziraphale’s face. “That’s very tempting, angel, and I may well take you up on that in the future - I plan to - but I think it’s for the best if I go back to my flat tonight.”</p><p>“Oh, okay,” Aziraphale said, his voice shaky. Crowley was so very close… if Aziraphale wanted to kiss him (and he <i>did</i>) - all he’d have to do would be to lean forward a scant few inches. Crowley’s fingertips were still tracing patterns on Aziraphale’s shoulder, and Aziraphale’s brain was <i>screaming</i> at him. In anyone else, he’d believe these actions indicated attraction - but this was <i>Crowley</i>. It couldn’t be. It simply couldn’t. Right?</p><p>Crowley very deliberately scooted closer, and Aziraphale’s already rapid pulse accelerated.</p><p>“Can I ask you something else?”</p><p>Aziraphale nodded, his eyes glued to Crowley’s face. “Yes.”</p><p>“When’s the last time you kissed someone?”</p><p>Aziraphale stammered a moment as he tried to make sense of the question. Why would <i>Crowley</i> be asking? He felt wrapped in a sense of unreality, like this was happening to someone else in another dimension or something. </p><p>“I - I kiss my friend Tracy in greeting and parting when we see each other, so on Thursday.”</p><p>Crowley was so close now, Aziraphale could feel his breaths against his face. The red haired man grinned. His voice was like silk over sandpaper. “That’s not what I meant and you know it. When was the last time you were properly kissed?”</p><p>Aziraphale’s hands were writhing in his lap, his palms sweaty, and he couldn’t think. Was Crowley about to <i>kiss</i> him? Here? Now? Aziraphale had wanted this for two dozen years, had fantasized about it endlessly, but now that the moment he’d dreamed of was here, he didn't know what to do with it. He swallowed hard and tried to come up with an answer. </p><p>“I - I suppose it was three years ago, when Simon and I split.”</p><p>Crowley reached up and traced the side of Aziraphale’s face softly. His yellow eyes were flicking back and forth between Aziraphale’s lips and his eyes, and his lips were parted. “Did you like the way he kissed you?”</p><p>“<i>Why</i> are we talking about kissing?” Aziraphale asked, his voice almost a whimper.</p><p>“As a precursor to this,” Crowley said simply, then the next thing Aziraphale was aware of, soft lips were pressed against his. </p><p>His heart stopped in that moment, his whole body going rigid with shock, his mind reeling. Crowley was kissing him. <i>Crowley was kissing him.</i> Was this real life, or some fantasy? Had he fallen asleep during the film and was having an elaborate dream? Well, if it was a dream, he never wanted to wake up. Ever.</p><p>Crowley’s lips slid against his, gently and slowly, teasing a response, and with a little sigh, Aziraphale surrendered, softening his lips and relaxing into the kiss. His heart restarted, beating out a jubilant, joyful rhythm, and Crowley made a small, triumphant noise as he cupped Aziraphale’s face with his hand, his thumb stroking his cheek. It was everything a first kiss should be, according to all the novels Aziraphale had read - soft and impossibly sweet, bold and somehow still shy, tender and unspeakably precious. Aziraphale could have sworn his soul left his body when he felt Crowley’s lips part over his, and he parted his own lips in response. He was in heaven, or as close to heaven as he was ever going to get, and he never wanted this moment to end. </p><p>Tentative, unsure, he raised his own hand to touch Crowley’s face. Crowley's response was to kiss him a little more firmly, tracing the seam of Aziraphale’s lips with his tongue, sliding his hand back to thread in Aziraphale’s hair. Aziraphale opened for him at once, and for the first time, he got to <i>taste</i> Crowley. Oh, heavens above, he’d never tasted anything better. Crowley’s tongue passed between his teeth and Aziraphale met it with his own, his heart trilling in his chest when they touched. His senses were utterly overwhelmed with <i>Crowley</i> - his scent, his taste, his touch, and the little sounds he was making. Aziraphale had been kissed before, yes, but nothing - nothing - had ever come close to being this good. </p><p>He whimpered involuntarily when Crowley began to gentle the kiss, his brow knitting in displeasure. He never wanted to stop, he wanted to kiss Crowley until they both expired. He wanted to stay lost in this moment - this one perfect moment of madness - forever. </p><p>They were both a little out of breath when Crowley broke the kiss a minute later. He left his hand in Aziraphale’s hair and pulled back only a few inches. Reluctant to break the moment, Aziraphale eventually let his eyes flutter open. Crowley was right there, his face inches away, his yellow eyes intent and full of that <i>heat</i>. </p><p>“Wow,” Crowley said with a small smile. </p><p>Aziraphale blinked. “Am I dreaming? Did you just kiss me?”</p><p>Crowley’s smile grew. “I just kissed you. And I’m going to do it again in a minute. Hopefully, it’s something you’re going to let me do regularly from this moment on.”</p><p>“You - you are? Going to kiss me again?”</p><p>“Uh-huh. But first, I have one more question to ask you.”</p><p>“Go ahead.” Anything to get back to the kissing. </p><p>Crowley stroked his thumb along Aziraphale’s jaw, his eyes searching his face. He swallowed, as if nervous, then said, “Do you remember that night when we were sixteen? We made a pact to marry each other if we were still single at forty.”</p><p>Aziraphale nodded, his heart pounding. “Yes.”</p><p>The corner of Crowley’s lips quirked up into a smile. “How would you like to make good on that?”</p><p>His eyes were wide. “Here? Now?”</p><p>“No, not here and now. I’m going to ask you properly at some point. All I’m asking now is if you’ll let me call you mine.”</p><p>Aziraphale’s mind was racing a million miles a second, and he couldn't seem to pin down any of his thoughts. The only thing he could think to ask was, “Are you <i>sure</i> you’re not drunk?”</p><p>Crowley huffed a small laugh. “I’m sure, angel.”</p><p>“You can’t be serious.”</p><p>“Of course I’m serious. Do you think I would joke about something like this?”</p><p>“I dont - I don’t know.”</p><p>Crowley stroked his jaw again. “Well, I’m <i>not</i> joking. Not in the least. I want us to honor our pact.”</p><p>Aziraphale closed his eyes. The pact. He wanted to honor the pact. That was all. A little disappointment and hurt suddenly mixed with the elation he felt. </p><p>“My dear,” he started, then opened his eyes to plead with Crowley - for what, he didn’t know. </p><p>“Say yes, Aziraphale,” Crowley whispered, closing his eyes and putting his forehead against Aziraphale’s. “Please. Say yes to me, angel.”</p><p>Aziraphale tried to think, he really did, but his thoughts were still so chaotic. He <i>knew</i> he should say no. He couldn't articulate why, but he <i>knew</i> he should. This was dangerous, and stupid, and reckless, and a million other things. He needed to say no. But he’d wanted this for so terribly long... </p><p>Heaven help him, he <i>couldn’t</i> say no to Crowley. So he nodded slowly. </p><p>Crowley raised up, his eyes wide and bright, his face happy. “Is that a yes?”</p><p>Aziraphale bit his lip and nodded. “Yes.”</p><p>All of a sudden, Crowley’s lips were plastered to his again, and they were locked in an exuberant kiss. It didn’t last long before Crowley broke it, only to start raining kisses all over Aziraphale’s face. </p><p>“Thank you, angel. Thank you,” he said between kisses. “I’ll make you so happy, I swear I will.”</p><p>Aziraphale couldn't help but smile, despite his rampaging thoughts. Before he could speak, Crowley had captured his mouth again, kissing him breathless, not wasting much time before his tongue came out to meet Aziraphale’s. Helpless, Aziraphale opened for him, and felt the arm that had been around his shoulders the whole time wrap solidly around him, pulling him closer. Aziraphale was unsure what to do with his own free hand that wasn't stroking Crowley’s face; he settled for gripping Crowley’s upper arm. Crowley’s kiss grew steadily hungrier, and Aziraphale realized he was rock hard in his trousers. He wondered if Crowley was, then wondered what Crowley would think if Aziraphale sent his hand to find out. He squeezed Crowley’s bicep to resist the impulse, then slid his hand up until he was touching the side of Crowley’s throat. He could feel his pulse fluttering under his fingers, incredibly rapid,  and that, more than anything, grounded him. It <i>wasn’t</i> a dream. </p><p>Crowley broke the kiss a couple of minutes later, much to Aziraphale’s disappointment, and he chased his lips a little. “I need to go,” Crowley said, his voice rough. </p><p>Aziraphale blinked back into reality. “You do?”</p><p>Crowley nodded. “Yeah. For now.” He gave Aziraphale one more firm kiss, then sat back from him and pulled out his mobile. Aziraphale just watched him, stunned and silent. </p><p>Once he was done typing and swiping, he turned back and kissed Aziraphale again. “I have to leave. The Uber will be here in less than five minutes, and if I don’t leave now, I may never go.”</p><p><i>Stay,</i> Aziraphale’s heart cried. <i>Stay with me.</i></p><p>“I understand,” he said aloud. </p><p>“I’ll catch an Uber over here in the morning to get my car before I go to Tadfield. Can I take you to breakfast when I do?” </p><p>“You’d like to?” </p><p>Crowley grinned at him. “Yeah. I’d like to take you out as much as you’ll let me.”</p><p>Aziraphale just nodded. “I’d like that.”</p><p>Crowley pressed another sweet kiss to his lips, then got to his feet, extending his hand to Aziraphale. “C’mon, angel. Walk me to the door.”</p><p>Aziraphale looked at the hand for a moment, then took it and stood up. As soon as he was standing, Crowley adjusted their hands so their fingers were interlaced, and Aziraphale’s heart flipped over in his chest. </p><p>Slowly, hands held between them, they walked to the door. Aziraphale had no idea what to say, so he stayed silent. When they got to the door, Crowley came to a stop and turned to face Aziraphale, smiling. </p><p>“I’ll text you in the morning, before I head over. Alright?”</p><p>“Sure,” Aziraphale agreed, his mind swirling. </p><p>Crowley leaned forward and kissed him softly, sweetly. Aziraphale let himself be swept away by the sensation, and chased Crowley’s lips again when Crowley pulled away, making him smile. </p><p>“I’ll see you in the morning. Yeah?” </p><p>Aziraphale nodded, unable to speak. </p><p>Crowley kissed him one last time. “Sleep sweet, angel.”</p><p>“You too,” he managed. </p><p>Crowley gave his hand a squeeze and left, leaving Aziraphale to stand there, dazed, confused, overjoyed, and mentally feeling more than a bit like he’d been hit by a lorry.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Comments and kudos are the beating heart of the muse and I appreciate every single one of them. Thank you.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>Sunday, 2 August</i>
</p><p>Crowley woke up happy, with a smile on his face, and it took him a minute to remember <i>why</i> he was so happy. When the memory of the previous night came back to him, the fact that he was now in a <i>relationship</i> with Aziraphale, his smile grew until it took over his whole face. He’d <i>kissed</i> Aziraphale! They were together now! Fuck, he was <i>elated</i>.</p><p>He lay there for a moment and let the memories of the night before wash over him. Kissing Aziraphale had been every bit as wonderful as he’d always known it would be - in fact, it had been <i>better</i>. Aziraphale had been shy at first, surprised, and Crowley had been just about to abort mission when Aziraphale had started kissing him back. He’d thought he’d died and gone to heaven in that moment, and it had taken a supreme act of willpower to <i>stop</i> kissing him. Crowley would have been quite happy to let things go on for as long as they wanted, but he knew better. Rushing Aziraphale would be a bad idea, and Crowley desperately wanted to get everything <i>right.</i> </p><p>Crowley wondered what Aziraphale was thinking and feeling about what had happened. Was he as happy as Crowley, or feeling something else, something more complicated? He’d been so hesitant, so shy, and after, he’d seemed almost disbelieving. Silly angel. Crowley would just have to <i>show</i> him that it hadn’t been in his imagination. Preferably by kissing and touching him more. Crowley couldn’t <i>wait</i> to get started on that. But for now…</p><p>He rolled over, still smiling, and grabbed his mobile. He ignored the news alerts and twitter notifications and unlocked it, going straight to Aziraphale’s contact. Quickly, he typed out a series of messages. </p><p>Crowley: <i>Good morning, angel x</i><br/>
Crowley: <i>I have an idea what you might be thinking and I’d like to head it off at the pass</i><br/>
Crowley: <i>no, I wasn’t drunk… no, you didn’t imagine it… no, it wasn’t a mistake… and yes, I want to do it again xx </i></p><p>He got an answer almost immediately. </p><p>Aziraphale: <i>Are you sure?</i><br/>
Crowley:<i> Absolutely. </i><br/>
Crowley: <i>I’m hopping in the shower now and I’ll be in Soho in 45mins. Can I still take you to breakfast?</i><br/>
Aziraphale: <i>If you’d like to.</i><br/>
Crowley: <i>I’d *love* to, angel. See you in 45 xx</i><br/>
Aziraphale:<i> I’ll be ready.</i></p><p>Crowley contemplated sending him a kissy face emoji, but decided that was probably laying it on a bit thick. For now. So he lay the phone down, rolled out of bed, and sauntered to the bathroom for his shower, whistling a happy tune.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div>It took a bit longer than forty-five minutes, since Crowley decided to make a pit stop on the way. After a quick bit of googling, he gave the uber driver the address of a florist that was open on Sundays and only a couple of blocks from Aziraphale’s place. When he arrived, he tipped the driver generously, went in, made his purchase, and walked the rest of the way to Aziraphale’s shop, whistling again. He nodded and smiled at people he passed as he went, in the best mood of his life, until he got to AZ Fell &amp; Co. and the door to Aziraphale’s flat. He rang the bell and waited, still smiling brightly.<p>“Yes?”</p><p>“It’s me, angel. Can I come up?”</p><p>“Oh, yes.”</p><p>A second later, the door buzzed and Crowley opened it to climb the stairs to Aziraphale’s flat. Once there, he hastily took off his glasses, hid the roses behind his back, and knocked on the door. </p><p>“Coming!” came Aziraphale’s voice from the other side of the door. Crowley smiled at the sound of it, then smiled bigger when the door opened to reveal Aziraphale. Bloody hell, he was even more fucking gorgeous than he’d ever been before. How was that even possible? Was he just going to continue to grow in beauty forever? Was he an actual angel? Or was it just because Crowley was in love with him - and now Aziraphale was his? Could be anything, really. </p><p>“Hello,” Aziraphale said, his cheeks pink. </p><p>Crowley beamed at him. “Hiya, angel. I got you something.”</p><p>Aziraphale’s eyes widened in surprise. “You did?”</p><p>“Mhm,” Crowley replied, then revealed the large bouquet of pink and white roses from behind his back. </p><p>“Oh! Roses! They’re lovely, dear.”</p><p>Their fingers brushed in the exchange, and Crowley felt the reverberations all the way up his arm. Aziraphale looked flustered, his cheeks turning the same shade as the roses, but took the flowers. </p><p>“Won’t you step in for a moment while I put these in some water? It’ll only take a moment.”</p><p>“Sure thing,” Crowley replied easily, then stepped into the flat. </p><p>“I’ll, um, I’ll be right back,” Aziraphale said, then disappeared into what Crowley assumed was the kitchen. He fought the urge to follow him and waited patiently in the lounge, near the door. When he spotted the couch they’d sat on last night he gave it a fond smile, remembering all too vividly the evening before - and letting his mind wander to think about future evenings on that couch. Crowley intended to spend a <i>lot</i> of time there soon, and eventually, in Aziraphale’s bed. But there was time. He could wait.</p><p>Aziraphale reappeared from the kitchen, and Crowley’s smile broadened when he saw him. Aziraphale gave a somewhat shy smile in return. </p><p>“Are you ready to go, dear?”</p><p>“Almost.”</p><p>Aziraphale looked puzzled. “Almost? Is there something we need to do first?”</p><p>“Only this,” Crowley replied, then stepped over towards him, reaching up to touch his face and bringing their mouths together. The minute their lips touched, something inside of Crowley relaxed, sighed in relief. Pure, unadulterated <i>joy</i> sparkled in every cell of his body, and he was even happier that Aziraphale was kissing him back. The other man was a little shy, but definitely an active participant. Crowley could work with that. He knew his angel well, and knew that sometimes, Aziraphale just needed a little time to warm up to an idea. But Crowley had time. He could be patient. He was encouraged when he felt Aziraphale’s hands come up to rest on his sides. That was a good sign, and he rather liked being touched. </p><p>Crowley was careful not to let himself get too carried away, and when his cock started to harden, he gentled the kiss slowly. Aziraphale’s eyes were still closed when he pulled away, and it made him smile. </p><p>Aziraphale’s blue eyes fluttered open slowly, and he flushed becomingly. “I think it’s going to take a while to get used to that,” he admitted. </p><p>Crowley grinned at him, delighted. “I hope you never get fully used to it. I don’t think I will. But we have the next six thousand years to try.”</p><p>“Six thousand years?”</p><p>“That’s just a start.”</p><p>Aziraphale’s eyes darted away, but he looked pleased. Good. </p><p>“C’mon, angel,” he said, offering his hand. “Let me take you to breakfast. Or brunch. Whatever.”</p><p>Aziraphale glanced down at Crowley’s extended hand, then reached out. Crowley grasped it, his heart galloping with joy. </p><p>“What are you in the mood for, angel?”</p><p>“Um, what would you say to some crepes?”</p><p>“If crepes are what you want, that's what you’ll get. Do you have somewhere in mind?”</p><p>“I do. There’s a little creperie not far from here. Walking distance.”</p><p>Crowley bought the hand he held up to his lips and pressed a kiss to the back of it. <i>Fuck</i>, he just loved this angel so much.</p><p>“Lead the way,” he said.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div>They held hands all the way to the creperie, much to Crowley’s delight. Crowley strutted more than usual on the short walk, proud as a peacock to be seen with Aziraphale. As far as he was concerned, his life was perfect in that moment. Nothing could bring him down.<p>There was only a light crowd at the creperie and they were seated right away. Crowley reluctantly let go of Aziraphale’s hand when they were seated, and Aziraphale reached for the menu. Figuring he’d better do the same, Crowley picked up his own menu, and they ordered orange juice before the waiter left. </p><p>“What’s good here?” he asked casually. </p><p>“I’ve enjoyed everything I’ve ever tried,” Aziraphale said. “The sweet crepes are very good, but so are the savory ones.”</p><p>Crowley grinned wickedly. “I <i>really</i> like it when something encompasses both,” he said suggestively. </p><p>Aziraphale seemed to catch his meaning and ducked his head, flushing again. Adorable. Fucking adorable. </p><p>“The, um, the mediterranian crepe is good, if you prefer savory.” </p><p>Crowley closed his menu without hardly looking at it. “That’s what I’ll have, then. What are <i>you</i> having?”</p><p>“I think I’ll have the berry crepe. Strawberries have been quite good this year.” </p><p>“That sounds good, too.”</p><p>The waiter returned with their juices, took their order, then gathered the menus and left. Crowley didn't think he could wait another minute to touch his angel, so he reached across the table and covered his hand with his. Aziraphale blushed - again - but didn’t move away. Crowley was thrilled when he used his thumb to capture Crowey’s fingers, and they were holding hands properly. </p><p>“So, um, you’re going to Tadfield today?”</p><p>“Yes, I’ll leave after I walk you home.”</p><p>“Are you going to do anything while you’re there?’</p><p>Crowley shrugged, stroking Aziraphale’s hand with his thumb. “Whatever mum needs me to do, I suppose. She hinted around about a trip to Tesco. But I’d rather be here,” he said tenderly. </p><p>“How often do you speak to her?”</p><p>“Every couple of days. I usually call her on my way home from work, as I’m driving.” He gave a sly grin. “It keeps me from shouting obscenities at other drivers.”</p><p>Aziraphale tittered and Crowley grinned, then squeezed his hand. “Would you like to come with me?”</p><p>Aziraphale’s eyes were wide. “To visit your mother?”</p><p>“Absolutely. She’d love to see you. She talks about you all the time.”</p><p>“Oh, I shouldn't like to impose…”</p><p>“It wouldn’t be an imposition at all. She’d be thrilled. <i>I’d</i> be thrilled. What do you say?”</p><p>“I - I can’t. I have a standing dinner with Gabriel and his family every other Sunday evening.”</p><p>“Ah,” Crowley said, disappointment coloring his words. “That’s a shame. Would you maybe like to go next time?”</p><p>“I - yes. I think I might like that.”</p><p>Crowley grinned, chuffed. “Excellent. Mum will be tickled.”</p><p>Aziraphale gave a small smile, and Crowley just stared at him, taking him in. <i>Fuck</i>, he was beautiful. But he looked anxious, and it worried Crowley. Leaning forward a bit, he asked, “Are you alright?”</p><p>The angel gave him a bright smile that was a little <i>too</i> bright. “I’m fine! Just fine.”</p><p>Crowley narrowed his eyes. “Something is wrong.”</p><p>Aziraphale looked shifty. “It’s really not…”</p><p>He squeezed the hand he held. “Tell me, Aziraphale. Please?”</p><p>Aziraphale wouldn’t meet his eyes, and Crowley was scared. </p><p>“Nothing’s <i>wrong</i> per se…”</p><p>“But something is clearly bothering you.”</p><p>“I just… it’s a lot to take in. Me and you. I’m having a bit of trouble imagining that it’s <i>real</i>.”</p><p>Crowley smiled, slightly relieved. “It’s real, angel.”</p><p>“It’s just a lot to process. What we are, what we’re doing.”</p><p>He thought for a second, weighing his words carefully, then he said, “First and foremost, we are what we always have been - best friends. That has never changed and <i>will</i> never change.”</p><p>“Aren’t you worried about ruining our friendship?”</p><p>“No,” Crowley said honestly. “I’m not. No matter what happens, I’m <i>always</i> going to be your best friend, angel. That’s <i>never</i> going to change. It’s just that now, we’re a bit… more.”</p><p>“Do you,” Aziraphale started, then cleared his throat. “Do you mean like friends with benefits?”</p><p>“No, not exactly, although I have to admit to being <i>very</i> interested in said benefits... eventually.”</p><p>He waggled his eyebrows and Aziraphale flushed again. Crowley chuckled and stroked his hand with his thumb. The silence stretched for a minute, and Crowley tried to think of what to say to reassure him. He swallowed hard against the sudden nerves he felt and spoke. </p><p>“Listen, angel, we don’t have to do this. I won’t hold you to a pact you made when you were sixteen, if you don't want to be held to it. We can go back to the way things were yesterday afternoon, if you want. Back to being just friends.”</p><p>Aziraphale wouldn’t meet his eyes, and his voice was tremulous. “Is that what you want?”</p><p>Crowley shook his head and squeezed his hand. “No, it’s not. Not even close. I want to stay just like this, to keep on this path we’ve started down. But if that’s not what <i>you</i> want, I won’t hold it against you if you say so.”</p><p>Aziraphale’s brow was scrunched up in thought for one heartstopping moment, like he was debating with himself, then he shook his head. “No. I  - I want to stay like this, too.”</p><p>Crowley could have collapsed in relief. “Good,” he said with a huge smile breaking across his face. “That’s good. That’s fucking <i>wonderful</i>.”</p><p>The angel gave him a delicate smile, and Crowley was opening his mouth to say something, something that was probably too emotionally honest for the moment they were in, but the waiter arrived with their crepes and they were forced to separate. When the waiter left, however, Crowley caught Aziraphale’s eyes and winked. Aziraphale gave a pleased flush and Crowley was <i>thrilled</i>.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div>After breakfast, they were holding hands again, walking back towards the shop. Crowley knew they had to say goodbye - he had things to do today and so did Aziraphale, but he was dreading it. He wanted to spend <i>all</i> his time with Aziraphale, every waking minute, and it was frustrating that he couldn’t. But soon, he hoped. He really, truly hoped that soon, they’d be together full time. He just needed to take his time to get there.<p>Speaking of taking his time…</p><p>“I think I owe you an apology,” he said when they were getting close to the shop. </p><p>“For what, dear?”</p><p>“I had no intention of kissing you last night. I was trying to take my time, but, well, I didn’t. And I’m afraid I rushed you.”</p><p>There was a strained quality to Aziraphale’s voice. “Are you <i>sorry</i> you did it?”</p><p>“No, no. Not at all. Don’t ever think that. It’s just that I had a plan, but I jumped the gun a bit.” He gave a light chuckle. “I suppose I <i>was</i> a bit tipsy. Tipsy enough for the alcohol to serve as liquid courage.”</p><p>“Ah.”</p><p>He didn’t say anything else, and Crowley squeezed his hand. “Can you forgive me?”</p><p>“You know I’d forgive you anything, my dear.”</p><p>Crowley smiled. “It’s great to hear that. I won’t be abusing it.”</p><p>They walked in silence until they came to Aziraphale’s shop, then they drew to a stop beside the door. Crowley didn’t let go of his hand. </p><p>“When can I see you again?”</p><p>“When do you want to see me?”</p><p>Crowley grinned and reached up to trace his beautiful cheek. “I’d be happy to see you every day,” he confessed. “But I have a feeling we should take it a bit slower than that.”</p><p>Aziraphale’s cheek pinkened under his fingers. “Perhaps you’re right. We should work our way up to that.”</p><p>“Is Newt closing any evening this week?”</p><p>“Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday.”</p><p>“Which day would you like? I’m available on all three.”</p><p>Aziraphale’s cheeks were burning. “I’d like all of them.”</p><p>Crowley grinned, so, so pleased by that answer. “Let’s start with Tuesday and make plans from there. What would you like to do?”</p><p>“I don’t know, really. Dinner and a walk? We could feed the ducks at St. James Park.”</p><p>“That sounds like a lovely evening. Is it alright if I text you between now and then? Or ring you?”</p><p>Aziraphale nodded. “I’d like that. Any time you think of me.”</p><p>Crowley leaned forward and kissed the tip of his nose impulsively. “I can’t do that, or I’d never be off my phone. But I will text you often. Maybe every <i>other</i> time I think of you, or every third time,” he teased. </p><p>“I... yes. I’d like that. Will you let me know when you get home from Tadfield safely?”</p><p>“If that’s what you want?”</p><p>“Yes, please.”</p><p>“Then that’s what I’ll do. But I’ll be thinking about you all day.”</p><p>“I’ll - I’ll be thinking about you, too.”</p><p>Crowley smiled. “I have to go for now, angel. Can I kiss you goodbye?”</p><p>Aziraphale nodded, his eyes wide. “Please.”</p><p>Crowley reached up and touched his face again, his lips curled into a smile, then closed his eyes and pressed his lips against Aziraphale’s. He did his best to keep it chaste and not get carried away, but it wasn’t easy. There was a large part of him that wanted to blow off his mother and go upstairs right then. </p><p>But he didn’t. He broke the kiss, softening the loss with a couple of smaller kisses, then retreated, his hand still cupping Aziraphale’s cheek. </p><p>“I’ll see you Tuesday, angel. Alright?”</p><p>Aziraphale nodded. “Tuesday,” he confirmed. </p><p>Crowley pressed one more soft kiss to his lips, then stepped back, releasing Aziraphale’s face and the hand he held. “I’ll be thinking of you.”</p><p>“I’ll be thinking of you, too.”</p><p>Unable to resist, Crowley stole one more kiss and smiled against his lips. “Bye, angel.” Then, before he lost his willpower, he turned and walked away, towards his car and Tadfield.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aziraphale rang the bell to Tracy’s flat in the mid-afternoon, debating for the hundredth time whether he was doing the right thing. He’d called her a half hour ago, requesting an emergency tea, and she’d told him to come right over. He’d gathered himself and gone right away, before he lost his nerve. </p><p>She opened the door a moment later, looking him over hurriedly with worried eyes. “Zira, darling, are you alright?”</p><p>He gave a small smile. “I am, really. I just needed someone to talk to. Can I come in?”</p><p>“Of course, of course,” she said, opening the door to admit him. Aziraphale looked around, taking in his surroundings. Tracy’s flat was much like her shop, just with a few more masculine - if odd - touches around. Aziraphale spotted something on the wall that looked like a cross between a rifle and a french horn and puzzled at it for a moment before Tracy caught his attention. </p><p>“Come, sit. I made tea. No scones, I’m afraid.”</p><p>“Oh, no, that’s perfectly fine,” he said, taking a seat on the couch delicately. He was silent while Tracy poured the tea, then accepted the cup with murmured thanks. Once she had served herself, she sat the pot down and turned to him. </p><p>“Alright, dear, what’s happened? Your aura is even more chaotic than it was on Thursday.”</p><p>“I - I don’t even know where to begin.”</p><p>“Does this have to do with Crowley? I assume it does, given your aura.”</p><p>“Yes, it’s about Crowley.” </p><p>“Well, spit it out. Better out than in.”</p><p>“He kissed me,” Aziraphale blurted. “Last night, he kissed me and asked me to make good on our pact and I have no idea what to do.”</p><p>“Hold on a minute. What pact?”</p><p>Aziraphale took a deep breath. “When we were sixteen, we swore a blood oath that if we were still single at forty, we’d marry each other.”</p><p>“A blood oath?”</p><p>“Yes. We cut our hands and everything.”</p><p>“And he asked you to honor it?”</p><p>He nodded. “Yes.”</p><p>Tracy sat the teacup down on the coffee table. “Okay. Tell me everything.”</p><p>So Aziraphale did. He told her about their pact as teenagers and how they’d grown apart over the years. He told her about their time together, their evening Thursday and trip to the museum Saturday, and how Crowley had seemed to be flirting with him… but he’d dismissed it at the time, until they were alone together, watching the film. He told her about how Crowley had scooted closer and closer and finally kissed him, and how he’d asked about honoring their pact, then they’d kissed some more.</p><p>“We kissed for a little while, then he left. I figured it had all been a dream, but he texted me this morning - unprompted - and said that it <i>hadn’t</i> been a dream. Then we went to breakfast and he held my hand the whole time. It’s <i>clear</i> he considers us to be in a relationship, but I have no idea what to do.”</p><p>“What do you mean you have no idea what to do? Isn’t this what you wanted?”</p><p>“It’s what I’ve <i>always</i> wanted, to be with Crowley,” he said. “And I’m so, so happy. Truly. But I’m confused and afraid.”</p><p>“Afraid of what?”</p><p>“Well, by his own admission, he only kissed me because of the alcohol.”</p><p>“Did he kiss you any when he <i>wasn’t</i> drinking?”</p><p>Aziraphale nodded. “Yes. Several times this morning.”</p><p>“So, most likely, the wine just gave him the courage to make the first move and that’s all.”</p><p>“Yes, that’s what he said,” he admitted.</p><p>“I’m not seeing the problem here, Zira.”</p><p>“He’s only doing this because of the pact,” Aziraphale said morosely. “I’m in love with him and he’s only doing this because of a silly pact.”</p><p>“Why would you say so?”</p><p>“Why else would he bring it up?”</p><p>“I don’t know, but the actions you’ve been describing to me don’t sound like a man just acting out of obligation. They sound like the actions of a man that’s smitten.”</p><p>“That can’t be the case,” he insisted. “It can’t.”</p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>“Because…” He paused, trying to think of what to say to justify his belief. </p><p>When he couldn’t, Tracy spoke up. “Aziraphale, I’ve never met his man, but he doesn't sound like the type that would hurt you intentionally.”</p><p>“I don’t think he’s <i>trying</i> to hurt me. I think he thinks he’s helping. That this is a convenient solution for both of us.”</p><p>“I disagree.”</p><p>“How could you <i>possibly</i> know?”</p><p>“I’m clairvoyant. And putting <i>that</i> aside, I’m also much older than you. I’ve seen lots and lots of people begin relationships for all sorts of reasons, and I’m telling you that what you’re describing sounds genuine to me. You should lean into this, Zira. Let yourself be loved.”</p><p>“I don’t think he loves me. Not the way I love him.”</p><p>“He loves you enough to kiss you, to hold your hand.”</p><p>“That doesn’t mean anything.”</p><p>“He offered to spend the rest of his <i>life</i> with you, Zira. I feel like that means <i>something</i>.”</p><p>Aziraphale was unswayed. “He’s probably just doing what he feels he needs to in the hopes that he <i>will</i> fall in love with me over time. But what if he doesn’t? What if he <i>can’t</i>? What if he spends the next ten years trying to love me and he just can’t do it? So he leaves me?”</p><p>“You’re borrowing trouble, dear. I don’t think that will happen. You need to stop overthinking.”</p><p>“I don’t think I can.”</p><p>“Try.”</p><p>Aziraphale closed his eyes and took a big breath, trying to relax. It only helped marginally. </p><p>“Do you want this?” Tracy asked. “To be with him?”</p><p>“Yes, more than anything. But only if it’s for the <i>right reason</i>.”</p><p>“Has he ever lied to you before? Deceived you or tricked you in an attempt to hurt you?”</p><p>“No, of course not.”</p><p>“Then I think a little trust is in order here. Don’t you? You owe him that.”</p><p>Put that way, Aziraphale felt chastened. “I’m afraid,” he admitted quietly. </p><p>“It’s okay to be afraid. But you should give him the benefit of the doubt, anyway. When are you supposed to see him again?”</p><p>“Tuesday. We’re going to dinner and then for a stroll.”</p><p>“Go and have fun. Let yourself <i>go,</i> Zira. Lean into this. Let yourself love him the way you’ve always wanted.”</p><p>“That feels so incredibly reckless.”</p><p>“It’s <i>love</i>, dear. It’s <i>supposed</i> to feel a little reckless, a little unsafe. That’s what makes it so exciting. Do you love him?”</p><p>Aziraphale nodded. “I do. More than anything.”</p><p>“Then trust <i>that</i>, even if you don’t trust anything else. Trust your feelings for him and let yourself <i>go,</i> Zira.”</p><p>He just nodded and tried to absorb her words. “I’ll try.”</p><p>“I hope you do. Give it a good, solid try, and I think you’ll be very pleased with the outcome.”</p><p>Aziraphale sure hoped so.</p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div>Crowley waved goodbye to his mother as he backed down the driveway, then honked his horn in farewell as he drove off. It had been a nice visit, but he hadn’t been able to focus his attention on her the way he should have. His brain had been full of <i>Aziraphale</i>, of the time they’d spent together so far and the time they would <i>be</i> spending together soon. He could still feel Aziraphale’s kisses, could still <i>taste</i> them, even hours later, and the memory was dizzying. He was in love - totally, completely, helplessly in love - and in many ways, it was for the first time. He’d loved Aziraphale for years and years, of course, but it felt entirely different now. He couldn’t explain how or why, not even to himself, but it <i>was</i>. And it was exhilarating. Crowley did his best to just accept it. <p>He’d told his mother over afternoon tea about the change in his relationship with Aziraphale, not entirely sure what to expect. His mother had always loved Aziraphale like a son, but Crowley had never let on to his mother that he cared about Aziraphale as more than his closest friend. He’d been a little nervous when he told her, afraid of her reaction, but she’d merely smiled and said she’d known it all along. Perhaps she had. Mothers seemed to know everything - at least, Lucy Crowley did. He’d asked for any pearls of wisdom and all she’d offered was this: <i>There is no romantic love stronger than the love that is born out of friendship, but you mustn’t forget the friendship. Don’t neglect the root of your relationship, or it will wither and die.</i> Crowley had received her words, absorbed them, and promised to himself - and to her - to follow her advice. She’d never steered him wrong in his nearly forty years, and he knew she wouldn’t now.</p><p>Crowley had his mobile hooked up to the bluetooth so he could listen to music on the way home, but wasn’t really paying attention to it. He was much more involved in his thoughts and daydreams about Aziraphale. Crowley wanted to take him places, to wine him and dine him and <i>woo</i> him. As he drove, he pondered to himself the best way to do that. Sooner rather than later, he wanted to propose to Aziraphale, to ask for his hand in marriage, and he brainstormed <i>that</i>, too. </p><p>The song that was playing ended, and ‘Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy’ came on, making Crowley smile. He turned it up and sang along with Freddie, drumming his hands on the steering wheel, feeling fantastic. </p><p>Just before the song ended, it was interrupted by a phone call. Crowley glanced down to see that it was Fergus and smiled, sliding his finger across the screen to answer. </p><p>“Fergus!” he called, a big smile on his face. </p><p>“Hello, Crowley,” Fergus said through the speakers. “How are you?”</p><p>“I’m good. I’m great. Better than.”</p><p>He could almost see Fergus’ raised eyebrow in his mind’s eye. “What’s got you so chipper? Where are you?”</p><p>“I’m in my car, headed back to London from visiting my mother.”</p><p>“Visiting your mother has you ‘better than great’?”</p><p>Crowley laughed. “No, you nitwit, not <i>that</i>. It’s something else.”</p><p>The line was silent for a moment, then Fergus guessed, “Something happened with Aziraphale.”</p><p>“Got it in one!” Crowley crowed. </p><p>“Well, tell me!”</p><p>Crowley laughed again, too happy to contain it, then said, “We’re together. Properly together.”</p><p>“You’re not.”</p><p>“We are,” Crowley replied, beaming. </p><p>“Give me details,” Fergus demanded. </p><p>So Crowley did. He told Fergus how he’d taken his advice and stepped up his flirting on Thursday and Saturday, how they’d gone back to Aziraphale’s flat to watch a film, and how they’d both gotten tipsy. </p><p>“He was <i>right there</i>, Fergus,” he said urgently, trying to make him understand. “Looking and smelling so good and I just… I couldn’t help it. So I kissed him.”</p><p>“How’d he react?”</p><p>“He was surprised at first, but warmed up quickly enough.”</p><p>“Did you sleep with him?”</p><p>Crowley felt the tiniest flash of annoyance. “Not that it’s any of your fucking business, but <i>no.</i> I didn’t. We kissed for a little while, then I left. It was all very PG.” </p><p>“Have you talked to him since?”</p><p>“We had breakfast this morning when I went to pick up my car. We talked a bit.”</p><p>“How’s he taking it?”</p><p>“Honestly, he seems a bit shell shocked.”</p><p>“Well, that seems fair,” Fergus said. </p><p>“Yeah, no, it’s <i>totally</i> fair. I offered to back off and give him space, but he said he didn’t want that. I know my angel. He’s the type to wade into the pool slowly so he can get used to the temperature, not cannonball in. He’s fine.”</p><p>“Well I’ll be damned,” Fergus marveled. “You actually pulled it off.”</p><p>“I won’t have pulled it off until we’re married, but I already told him that was my intention.”</p><p>“You did <i>what</i>!?”</p><p>“I did. I know you said not to, but, well, like I said. I was tipsy.”</p><p>“You might want to back off of that a bit,” Fergus advised. “More than a bit. Did you mention the pact?”</p><p>“I did, last night when we were kissing. Then I mentioned it again this morning and told him I wouldn’t hold him to it.” </p><p>“I <i>seriously</i> wouldn’t go around talking about it all the time,” Fergus said. “I’d bet anything that would give him the wrong impression.”</p><p>“Noted.”</p><p>“Did you tell him you’re in love with him?”</p><p>“Not yet.”</p><p>“<i>Don’t.</i> Not for a while.”</p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>“Because if he’s shell shocked because you kissed him, telling him you’re in love with him and moved across the world to marry him would probably scare him off.”</p><p>“You think so?”</p><p>“Absolutely. You said he takes a while to warm up - let him warm up. You know the old writing advice - ‘show, don’t tell’. Let that apply here.”</p><p>Crowley wasn’t sure how long he’d be able to keep his love a secret, but figured he could hold out a few weeks. Maybe. </p><p>“Okay. I’ll do that. Maybe I’ll construct a moment.”</p><p>“That’s a good idea.”</p><p>“Thanks for the tip.”</p><p>“You’re welcome. Honestly, I’d fuss about you charging in like a bull in a china shop - which is the exact <i>opposite</i> of what I told you to do, by the way - but it seems to have worked to your advantage this time. So far.”</p><p>Crowley grinned. “Seems to have, yeah. And don’t worry, I’ve resolved to myself already to take this at his pace, as best I’m able. I don’t want to push him.”</p><p>“Good plan. Keep up the flirting and the charm, all that good stuff. Don’t let up.”</p><p>“I don’t plan on it.”</p><p>“So when can I meet him?”</p><p>Crowley barked a laugh. “Didn’t I <i>just</i> say I wasn’t going to push him?”</p><p>“You’re no fun.”</p><p>He chuckled. “Let me get a few months together under my belt - and at this new job - and we’ll come up with something. Ask me again around first of the year, and I’ll know more.”</p><p>“Will do. Shit, I need to go. Ella’s on the other line. But I’m really happy for you, Crowley. Truly. Congratulations.”</p><p>“Thank you,” Crowley said proudly. “I’m pretty happy myself.”</p><p>“Talk soon?”</p><p>“How about next weekend?”</p><p>“Done. Take care.”</p><p>“You too. Give Ella and the kids my love.”</p><p>“You got it. Bye!”</p><p>“Bye!”</p><p>Crowley pressed the red button to end the call and ‘Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy’ started playing again where it had left off. He pressed the back button to start it over, put both hands on the wheel, and smiled.</p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div>Aziraphale opened the door to his flat, letting himself in, tossed his keys into the bowl they lived in, and sighed. It had been a long, emotional whirlwind of a day. He still wasn't entirely sure how he felt or what to think about his relationship with Crowley, even after talking to Tracy <i>and</i> Gabriel about it. He’d had no intention of talking to Gabriel about it at all yet, but his brother had pulled him aside after dinner and asked him what was wrong. Aziraphale had done his best to tapdance and deflect for as long as he could until Gabriel had given him That Look, and he’d caved.<p>“I’m seeing someone,” he’d admitted. </p><p>“But that’s good news, isn’t it?”</p><p>“Yes. I’m very happy, truly. Overwhelmingly so. But it’s all happening so rapidly. And when you take into consideration who it is…”</p><p>“Who is he?”</p><p>“It’s Crowley.”</p><p>“<i>Crowley</i>?”</p><p>“Yes. He’s back from the US and, well, we’re apparently an item now.”</p><p>“Oh, thank God,” Gabriel had said, turning his eyes skyward. </p><p>Aziraphale had ruffled. “What do you mean by that?”</p><p>That had earned him another look. “Aziraphale, come on. I’m your brother. And I know you’ve been in love with that boy since you were both little kids.”</p><p>Aziraphale had had no defense to that, so he had said, “He’s not a <i>boy</i>, Gabriel. He’s thirty-nine, same as me.”</p><p>“Slip of the tongue. But my point stands. Why aren’t you happy?”</p><p>“I am! I truly am. I’m just a bit… discombobulated. I’m not quite sure how to go about dating my best friend.”</p><p>“Do what comes naturally. Go with the flow,” Gabriel had said with a shrug. </p><p>“You know very well I’m not much of a ‘go with the flow’ type.”</p><p>“I’m aware, but that’s still my advice. Let things unfold on their own, as they will.”</p><p>“I suppose…”</p><p>Gabriel had clapped him on the shoulder. “I’m honestly so happy for you, Aziraphale. Truly. It’ll be wonderful to see you settled down and happy.”</p><p>“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves…”</p><p>His brother had rolled his eyes. “Lighten up. Let yourself have this. You deserve it. But I need you to do one thing for me.”</p><p>“What’s that?”</p><p>“Bring him to dinner. I haven’t seen him in twenty years. I have no idea what he’s like anymore.”</p><p>“He’s wonderful, but I don’t need your stamp of approval to date him. You’re not Mum,” Aziraphale had pointed out. </p><p>“No, but I’d still like to see him.” </p><p>“He may not want to see <i>you</i>. He hasn’t forgotten what you were like when we were kids.”</p><p>“And I owe him an apology for that. Yet another reason for you to bring him to dinner. But please do invite him. I’d like to be on friendly terms with your boyfriend.”</p><p>Hearing the word ‘boyfriend’ spoken aloud for the first time had electrified him and he’d been unable to help a small smile. Crowley was his <i>boyfriend.</i> Right? Aziraphale thought so, but he wasn’t sure. That was probably something that should be clarified. </p><p>“Mom would have been pleased, you know,” Gabriel said quietly. “She always liked Crowley.”</p><p>Aziraphale’s eyes had filled. “You think so?”</p><p>“I know so. She’s smiling down on you now, pleased as punch. I’d bet anything.”</p><p>Even now, an hour and a half later, in the privacy of his own flat, Aziraphale got a bit misty-eyed, thinking of his brother’s words. He knew that all Maria Fell had wanted was to see her sons happy, and if Aziraphale was happy, she would be happy. Aziraphale only wished that he could let go of his anxieties and let himself be fully, actually happy. He was trying, he really was, but those nagging doubts wouldn't leave him alone. Perhaps they would fade with time. He truly hoped so. </p><p>His mobile went off in his pocket as he was filling the kettle for his evening tea, and he fished it out to find a text from Crowley. </p><p>Crowley: <i>made it home from Tadfield x </i><br/>Aziraphale: <i>Good, I’m glad. How was it?</i><br/>Crowley: <i>good. Can I call you? just for a minute. I’d like to hear your voice. X</i></p><p>Aziraphale’s heart fluttered in his chest and he typed back a response.</p><p>Aziraphale: <i>Sure. :) </i></p><p>He hesitated just a moment before he added an x to the end of his text - a kiss.</p><p>The phone rang in his hand a second later, as if Crowley had just been waiting for permission to call. “Hello?”</p><p>“Hi, angel,” Crowley said, a smile in his voice. </p><p>Aziraphale relaxed into a smile. He just couldn’t help it. “Hello, dear.”</p><p>“Are you busy?”</p><p>“No, no. I just got home from Gabriel’s house and was putting on the kettle before I settle in for the night with a book.”</p><p>“Whatcha reading?” </p><p>“I’m not sure yet. Probably something I’ve read a dozen times. It’s easier to fall asleep that way.”</p><p>“I’ll take your word for it,” Crowley said, and Aziraphale smiled. Crowley had never been much of a reader. </p><p>“How was your visit with your mother?”</p><p>“It was alright. Spent a good portion of the day rearranging her pantry and throwing away food that’s been expired since God was a toddler. Then I had to take her to Tesco's to replenish what I’d made her throw out. But it was mostly fun. She sends you her love.”</p><p>“Oh. Did you, um, did you tell her…?”</p><p>“That we’re dating?”</p><p>Aziraphale felt a little rush of adrenaline, hearing him say that. “Yes.”</p><p>“I did, and she was thrilled to hear it. Made me promise to bring you soon.”</p><p>He flushed with pleasure. “I’d like that.”</p><p>“How was your visit with your shithead brother?”</p><p>“I told you, dear, he’s not that way anymore. You’d like him now. But it was fine. He sends his regards to you, too.”</p><p>Crowley sounded surprised. “You told him we’re a couple?”</p><p>Aziraphale felt that rush again. <i>A couple</i>. Oh, heavens. </p><p>“I did,” he said, hoping his voice didn’t let on that he was flustered. “Was I not supposed to?”</p><p>“No, no. You’re fine. You can tell whomever you like - I’m certainly not trying to hide it. I’m just surprised. How did he take it?”</p><p>“He was very excited to hear it and wishes us both well.”</p><p>“You’re shitting me.”</p><p>“I’m not. I told you, he’s different. Nothing at all like he used to be. He even asked me to invite you to dinner.”</p><p>“You’re <i>shitting</i> me.”</p><p>“I’m not. He was most insistent on it, in fact. Mentioned it several times.”</p><p>“Well, okay.”</p><p>Aziraphale blinked. “Okay what, dear?”</p><p>“Okay, I’ll go. Let me know when you want to, and we will.” </p><p>“Are you serious?”</p><p>“Absolutely. He’s your brother and if I’m going to be part of your life, he’s going to be a part of mine. Might as well get it over with.” </p><p>Aziraphale was stunned. “I don’t even know what to say, dear.”</p><p>“Just promise me he’s not like he used to be.”</p><p>“He’s not. I swear.”</p><p>“Then I’m at your disposal. We’ll go whenever you like.”</p><p>Aziraphale’s mind was spinning. “Thank you.”</p><p>“You’re welcome. You’re always welcome, angel.” </p><p>The silence stretched for a minute and Aziraphale didn’t know how to fill it. He didn’t have to wait long before Crowley spoke, softly. </p><p>“I missed you today.”</p><p>Aziraphale closed his eyes. <i>Trust him,</i> he told himself. <i>Trust yourself and the way you feel. You love him. Trust him.</i></p><p>“I missed you too, dear,” he admitted. </p><p>“You were on my mind all day. I can’t wait until Tuesday.” </p><p>“I’m excited, too. It’ll be fun. I haven’t fed the ducks in an age.”</p><p>Crowley chuckled. “I don’t think I’ve ever fed a duck, so you have one up on me. Can I see you some other times this week? You said Newt is able to close on Thursday and Friday, right?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Can I see you one of those nights? Then again on the weekend? I know I’m greedy, but --”</p><p>Aziraphale smiled. “I’d like that.” </p><p>“That’s fucking fantastic,” Crowley said, and Aziraphale could <i>hear</i> his bright smile. It made him smile, too. He really was so, so happy. </p><p>“I’ll let you go, angel. I know it’s late, and we both have early mornings.”</p><p>He felt a stab of disappointment. “Oh, you don't have to…”</p><p>“But I probably should. If I don’t get off now, I’ll stay on all night. I just needed to hear your voice.”</p><p>Aziraphale melted just a bit. “I’m so glad you did call.”</p><p>“Can I call you again tomorrow night?”</p><p>“If you’d like…”</p><p>“I’d <i>love</i> to. And I’ll text you, too.”</p><p>“I’d be glad if you did, dear.”</p><p>“Then I will. But for now, while I still have the willpower, I’ll say goodnight.”</p><p>“Goodnight, dearest. Dream of whatever you like best.”</p><p>“Then I’ll dream of you.”</p><p>Aziraphale felt a thrill race all over him. </p><p>“Goodnight, Crowley.”</p><p>“Goodnight, angel.”</p><p>Aziraphale hung up the phone and just stared at it for a moment. Maybe Tracy was right. Maybe this <i>was</i> the real thing. Crowley was certainly saying and doing the right things…</p><p>But it could all very well be what he suspected. It could be a sense of obligation, or a proposed relationship of convenience. Or that he was <i>trying</i> to fall in love. There was no way to know, not right now. The best thing he could do, he thought, was to take Tracy’s and Gabriel’s advice, but keep his eyes open for signs that this wasn’t real. Honestly, that seemed to be his only choice. </p><p>With a sigh, he put his mobile down and went to make the tea, then get ready for bed.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>Tuesday, 4 August</i>
</p><p>The shadows were starting to lengthen when they arrived at St. James Park on Tuesday evening. Crowley held Aziraphale’s hand as they walked down the park path, towards the duck pond, a smile on his face that he simply couldn't help. He was just so <i>happy</i>, so fucking happy all the time. He’d been in a fantastic mood pretty much continuously since he’d arrived back in the UK and gone to see Aziraphale, but he’d <i>really</i> been riding a high since he’d kissed Aziraphale on Saturday night and changed their relationship. Every time he talked to Aziraphale over phone or text, the angel seemed to be a little less shell shocked, a little more relaxed about being a couple. And this evening, in person, he’d seemed more at ease, too. Crowley was relieved. He’d been willing to wait Aziraphale out, to wear down the walls of his resistance gradually, if there seemed to be any, but it seemed like he wouldn’t have to. He was ecstatic. </p><p>“Oh, good,” Aziraphale said when they arrived at the duck pond. “My favorite bench is free. Shall we feed the ducks?”</p><p>“That’s why we came,” Crowley replied with a smile. “But what do we feed them?”</p><p>Aziraphale pointed to a vendor a few yards away. “That man sells duck feed. We’ll just buy a couple of bags from him.”</p><p>Crowley kissed his cheek. “You go claim the bench. I’ll get the duck food.”</p><p>“Are you sure?”</p><p>“Absolutely. I’ll be right there.”</p><p>Aziraphale gave him a smile that set his heart racing, and Crowley responded by squeezing his hand, then released it to go buy the duck food. He hurried through the transaction, eager to get back to his angel, and when he was done, he smiled at the sight of Aziraphale sitting so primly on the bench. God, Crowley loved him so much his chest ached with it.</p><p>“Here you are, angel,” he said when he got to the bench, handing one of the bags over to Aziraphale. Aziraphale gave him a brilliant smile, and Crowley felt tingles all the way up his arm when their fingers touched. </p><p>They fed the ducks together for a while, chatting mostly about the birds and their behavior, how greedy some of them were, as if they’d never been fed in their lives. </p><p>“Oh, I do hope they’re all getting enough to eat,” Aziraphale fretted. </p><p>Crowley chuckled. “I’m sure they are, angel. Don’t worry.”</p><p>“I used to come and feed them all the time, you know,” Aziraphale said, throwing out more frozen peas. “I’d come every Sunday.”</p><p>“Why’d you stop?”</p><p>“I started dating someone, and he came with me sometimes. At first it was nice, having some company, but… well, he broke up with me on one of those Sundays, right here on this very bench.”</p><p>Crowley gaped at him. “Why did you want to bring me here, then?” he asked, genuinely confused and a little alarmed. “Are you breaking up with <i>me</i>?”</p><p>Aziraphale’s cheeks were flaming. “No, no, not that at all. I simply wanted to overwrite the bad memory with a good one,” he said. </p><p>That soothed Crowley a bit. It also gave him an opening to address something he’d been meaning to. He swallowed his nerves. </p><p>“Do you have a lot of bad memories with exes?”</p><p>“How do you mean?”</p><p>“I mean, have you had a lot of relationships that ended badly? Or that you were unhappy during?”</p><p>“I haven’t had an awful lot of relationships, period. I’ve been chronically single for the majority of my life, with only a handful of interruptions to my solitude. But why are you asking?”</p><p>Crowley hadn’t expected to be asked <i>that</i> and scrambled for an answer. Very quickly, he decided on the truth. “I’d like to know what mistakes other men have made, so I know what <i>not</i> to do.”</p><p>Aziraphale stared at him blankly for a moment, his jaw a little lax. His shocked expression made Crowley nervous. </p><p>“Is that - is that alright?”</p><p>The blond man blinked his blue eyes, seeming to gather himself. “Yes, that’s alright. I just wasn’t expecting that answer.”</p><p>Crowley started to ask what he <i>had</i> been expecting, but didn’t think he wanted to know. </p><p>“So, um, tell me about your last relationship,” Crowley prodded, bracing himself for what he may hear. </p><p>“What do you want to know?”</p><p>“Just… tell me about him. What was he like?”</p><p>“Oh. Well, he was a very nice man. His name was Simon, and he was a computer programmer. We were introduced by mutual friends and dated for a little over two years. My longest relationship, actually.” </p><p>“Why did you split?”</p><p>Aziraphale glanced away, flushing. “He was much more in love with me than I was with him. I didn't think it was fair to string him along, so I broke it off. There were some initial hard feelings, but we’re amicable now.”</p><p>Crowley processed that for a moment. “What about the one before that?” he asked.</p><p>Aziraphale gave a smile. “That was the man who broke up with me on this bench. He and I had only been dating for a little less than a year.”</p><p>“Why did you split?”</p><p>“He said I was utterly boring. ‘The antithesis of excitement’.”</p><p>Anger flashed in Crowley. “I’d like to wring his neck.”</p><p>“Oh, no, don’t do that, dear. I was looking for an excuse to end things, and wasn’t upset that the relationship ended. I just could have done without him embarrassing me publicly and saying very hurtful things. I was actually relieved.”</p><p>“Why were you relieved?”</p><p>“Well, for one thing, all he seemed to want me for was sex. That grew tiresome. But more than that, he just wasn’t the man I wanted him to be.”</p><p>“How do you mean?”</p><p>Aziraphale’s cheeks were rosy. “Only - only that I’ve always had very high standards, and very few men have ever met them. In fact, no one has. Until now,” he said, then his eyes widened in surprise, as if he just realized what he’d said. Crowley broke into a wide smile, couldn’t help it, and Aziraphale deliberately turned back to feeding the ducks, his cheeks even more red. Crowley just beamed. </p><p>“What about you?” Aziraphale asked. “What have your relationships been like?”</p><p>“On the whole, they’ve been disappointing and relatively short. The longest I’ve ever dated someone was a year and a half, and that was a year and four months too long.”</p><p>“Why did you split up?”</p><p>“For a similar reason as what you mentioned - she loved me more than I loved her. She kept trying to get me to commit, and I wouldn't.”</p><p>“Is this the woman who moved her plants into your flat?”</p><p>“Yes, that’s her. I wasn’t sorry to see the back of her. I stayed single for several years afterwards. In fact, I’ve only had one real romantic relationship after that - until now.”</p><p>“Care to tell me about them?”</p><p>“His name was Peter, and we met online. Dated for about nine or ten months, but it wasn’t going anywhere, and I knew it. I was just treading water.”</p><p>“How did you know it wasn't going anywhere?”</p><p><i>Because he wasn’t you,</i> Crowley thought. He debated on saying it, but at the last moment, decided against it. </p><p>“Like you, I’ve got ridiculously high standards. He wasn’t up to them.”</p><p>“Ah,” Aziraphale said. </p><p>“Plus, he didn’t like Queen.”</p><p>Aziraphale turned to look at him with a mock outraged look. “He <i>didn’t</i>?”</p><p>“Nope. He thought they were overrated.”</p><p>“Sacrilege!” Aziraphale said, his eyes twinkling, and he was just so beautiful, so goddamn beautiful, and Crowley loved him so much…</p><p>“You’re so fucking beautiful,” Crowley said, unable to stop himself. </p><p>Aziraphale flushed, but looked pleased. “Thank you, dear.”</p><p>Crowley darted forward and pressed a quick kiss to his lips, just because he could, then smiled at him. When Aziraphale smiled back, Crowley winked and went back to feeding the ducks. The sun was setting behind the trees, the sky was glowing, and the clouds were indigo. Crowley threw the last of his duck feed, balled the bag up and put it beside his leg to throw away later, then took off his glasses and stuck them in his pocket, since it was getting dark. He pulled his mobile out of his pocket instead and unlocked it. </p><p>“What are you doing?” Aziraphale asked curiously. </p><p>He pressed the camera button and aimed it out over the pond, capturing the fiery sky. “I’m taking a photo.”</p><p>“Oh. To post on facebook?”</p><p>“And instagram,” he confirmed, typing a caption. <i>A perfect end to a perfect night. Sharing a bench with my favorite person. #stjamespark #london</i></p><p>“There,” he said, pressing send. </p><p>“Your favorite person?” Aziraphale asked, cheeks rosy again. </p><p>Crowley grinned. “Of course you are. Who else would it be?”</p><p>“Don’t let your mother see that. It may hurt her feelings.”</p><p>He grinned. “She knows you’ve been my favorite person since kindergarten. It wouldn’t come as a surprise to her. But anyway, she doesn’t have facebook.”</p><p>“No, I imagine she doesn’t.”</p><p>“Speaking of facebook…”</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>Crowley did his best to push back the nerves he felt. “Well, I was thinking…”</p><p>“What were you thinking, dear?”</p><p>“Have you ever heard the term ‘facebook official’?”</p><p>“No, I can’t say I have.”</p><p>“It’s when you change your relationship status on facebook, to publicly announce that you’re in a relationship. To let the world know.” </p><p>“Oh,” said Aziraphale, looking mildly surprised, then slightly confused. “Are you… Are we…?”</p><p>“No, I haven’t done anything yet. I wanted to check with you first. For permission.”</p><p>“To tell the world…”</p><p>“That we’re together. Yes.”</p><p>“I - I think that would be lovely, dear. If you’re sure.”</p><p>“I’m <i>so</i> sure, angel.”</p><p>“But I don’t know how to do it.”</p><p>“Here, let me,” Crowley said, excited, opening up facebook and going to his personal info. As quickly as he could, feeling Aziraphale’s eyes on him, he changed his status from ‘single’ to ‘in a relationship with Aziraphale Fell’. When he was done, he looked up at Aziraphale, smiling. “Now it’s your turn.”</p><p>“What do I do?”</p><p>“Get out your phone and go to facebook. There should be a notification. Click the notification and accept the tag.”</p><p>Aziraphale did as instructed, and a minute later, Crowley’s phone pinged that the tag had been accepted. He beamed down at the screen.</p><p>“Did I do it right?”</p><p>“You did it perfectly, angel. We’re facebook official.”</p><p>“I’ve never been facebook official before,” Aziraphale said, putting his mobile away. </p><p>“How does it feel?” Crowley asked, slipping his mobile back into his pocket. </p><p>“Very nice,” Aziraphale said with a smile. </p><p>Crowley reached to trace Aziraphale’s cheek softly. “So can I kiss you now, since you’re officially mine?”</p><p>“I wish you would.”</p><p>Aziraphale was smiling when Crowley captured his mouth, his lips pillow-soft and tasting like heaven. Crowley tried to keep the kiss soft and sweet, he really <i>tried</i>, but quickly found himself deeping it, letting his tongue venture between Aziraphale’s lips to explore. Aziraphale opened for him at once, much to Crowley’s delight, and he didn’t dare refuse the invitation. His heart nearly exploded with joy when he felt Aziraphale touching him: one hand on his side and the other touching his face. Crowley made a little whimpering sound that he simply couldn’t help and deepened the kiss, his tongue stroking along Aziraphale’s. He felt himself hardening in his trousers but didn’t care - couldn’t care. He was entirely too wrapped up in the moment, this precious moment, kissing the love of his life. </p><p>He scooted closer without breaking the kiss, needing to be <i>closer</i>, to feel more of Aziraphale against him. He was rewarded with Aziraphale gripping his side and threading his fingers through Crowley’s hair, pulling him closer, and <i>oh, yes.</i> Crowley let his hand slide to the back of Aziraphale’s head and his arm wound around his chest, pulling him even closer, bunching in the satin fabric of his waistcoat between his shoulder blades. Once he was close enough - as close as he could get - Crowey released his back and slid his hand down the angel’s side, towards his lap, his whole being focused on touching Aziraphale <i>now</i>. </p><p>A duck quacked nearby, startling them both, making them break the kiss, and Crowley suddenly remembered where they were. They just sat there for a moment, mouths open to facilitate harsh breaths and eyes wide. Crowley’s cock was <i>throbbing</i> in his pants, and he wanted nothing more than to go to one of their flats immediately, but Aziraphale withdrew out of his arms. </p><p>“I’m sorry, I got carried away.”</p><p>“<i>We</i> got carried away,” Crowley corrected. “And I’m not sorry at all. I’m only sorry if I pushed you.”</p><p>Aziraphale shook his head. “No, you didn’t push me.”</p><p>“Good. Don’t let me make you uncomfortable. Promise me.”</p><p>“I promise.”</p><p>Crowley was afraid to kiss him again right at that moment, so he picked up Aziraphale’s hand and kissed that. “Good.”</p><p>“I, um, I should be getting home. It’s late.”</p><p>“Can I walk you there?”</p><p>Aziraphale smiled softly. “I’d like that.”</p><p>Crowley kissed the hand he held again. “C’mon, angel. Let’s get you home.”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div>Aziraphale flipped off the light in his kitchen after putting his teacup in the sink and headed towards the bathroom. It was late, well past his usual bedtime, but he’d only gotten home from his date with Crowley a little while ago, and he wasn’t sleepy at all. His mind was still full to overflowing with <i>Crowley</i> - just as it had been for the last two weeks.<p>How had it only been two weeks? In fact, it had been slightly <i>less</i> than two weeks. It seemed like so much had happened - and it had. A fortnight ago, he’d been single, warding off Tracy’s matchmaking attempts, and fairly content with his life. Crowley had been little more than a warm memory and a romanticized idea. But now… now he was <i>not</i> single, and Crowley was very, very real again. In fact, Crowley was actually his <i>boyfriend</i>. Sometimes, Aziraphale had to fight the urge to pinch himself to make sure it wasn’t a dream. But with every kiss, every touch, and every sweet message or phone call, it was becoming more and more real. <i>This</i> was real. Crowley was his, after a quarter century of wishing and wanting. They were together, properly together, and Aziraphale was beside himself with joy. </p><p>The nagging voice at the back of his mind was still there, though, still whispering doubts in his ear, and as much as he wanted to, he couldn’t dismiss it. There was still a part of him that worried about Crowley’s motives, and he had no idea how to quell those doubts without asking Crowley directly - which he certainly couldn’t do. The fact that Crowley had asked about past relationships ‘so he could avoid those mistakes’ troubled Aziraphale more than it probably should. It fed into his insecurity that maybe Crowley was just attempting to do and say the right things, in order to fulfill the pact as a matter of convenience. <i>It was a perfectly logical question</i>, the other part of his brain asserted. <i>It was even sweet. Thoughtful.</i> Aziraphale <i>wanted</i> to believe that part of himself, but couldn’t entirely. </p><p>He supposed the best thing to do - the <i>only</i> thing to do - would be to do as Gabriel had instructed and ‘go with the flow’. He could do that. Right? Sure he could. For the chance to be with Crowley and be happy, he could do it. Those doubts and fears would quiet down as time went on, he was sure. At least, he hoped. </p><p>For now, he stepped into his bedroom, flicked on the light beside the bed, and started to disrobe. He carefully put his clothes away and pulled on his pyjamas. He folded back the duvet and crawled into the large, squishy bed, ignoring his cock that had been oscillating from semi-erect to fully erect since Crowley had shown up at the shop to pick him up hours ago. The dratted thing was being stubborn tonight, and he would likely have to take himself in hand momentarily, but he wasn’t ready to give in yet. Instead, he reached over to the nightstand and grabbed his mobile that had just gone off. </p><p>Crowley: <i>goodnight, angel. Sleep sweet. xx</i></p><p>Aziraphale smiled and typed up a reply. </p><p>Aziraphale:<i> Sweet dreams, dear. xx</i></p><p>Still not tired - and dreadfully curious - he opened his facebook app and found dozens of notifications. Nearly all of them were well wishes on his changed relationship status, and they made him smile. He ‘liked’ every kind comment, replied to a few of them, then went to see what <i>Crowley’s</i> friends were saying. His friends were just as supportive, just as uplifting, and again, Aziraphale liked each positive comment. He was smiling when he locked his mobile and lay it down on the nightstand. </p><p>Leaning back against the pillows, Aziraphale closed his eyes and sighed, remembering the evening with Crowley - particularly their time on the bench and the kisses they’d shared, as well as their lengthy goodbye kisses when Crowley had dropped him off. It was so much <i>different</i>, Aziraphale had noticed, kissing someone he was actually in love with. Totally unlike any kisses he’d ever experienced before. There was a <i>heat</i> to their kisses that Aziraphale was unfamiliar with, but he wanted more of. He wondered what it would be like to touch Crowley more fully, to be able to run his hands all over Crowley’s skin. Sex with Crowley would be the best he’d ever had, he was sure, but what would Crowley prefer? Oh, that was something they should probably talk about, come to think on it, and soon. They should also probably discuss sexual health. Aziraphale hadn't had any partners in the last three years, and he got tested every year to be safe, but Crowley had mentioned that he’d been casually dating over the last several years. Would it be rude for Aziraphale to ask him to be tested? Well, rude or not, it needed to be done. Aziraphale made up his mind to do so at the next available opportunity. </p><p>Thinking about sex with Crowley had done nothing to make his erection subside - in fact, he was harder now than he had been all night, his erection tenting the covers. He likely wouldn’t be able to sleep unless he touched himself, and besides, why shouldn’t he indulge in a little fantasy about his boyfriend? There was no shame in it anymore, after all. People were <i>expected</i> to fantasize about their significant others. It was perfectly proper, he decided. </p><p>Aziraphale kicked off the covers and pushed down his pyjama trousers, raising his shirt, exposing himself. He let his fingertips trace up and down his cock, imagining Crowley naked, in bed with him, then gripped himself and started to stroke. They’d kiss and touch and seek to bring each other pleasure, whispering sweet nothings and filthy fantasies in each other’s ear. He imagined putting his mouth on Crowley, tasting him, sucking him to completion while he fisted his own cock. And when he came all over his hand and belly, he did so imagining Crowley spilling into his waiting mouth. Oh, how he wanted that. </p><p>He lay there in the bed when he was done, spent and tingling pleasantly, his eyes still closed, not yet done with the fantasy. In his mind’s eye, Crowley would pull him into his arms and kiss him, professing his love over and over between kisses. Aziraphale would, of course, profess his own love, and they would fall asleep in each other’s arms. It was all Aziraphale wanted in the world. </p><p>The fantasy faded away along with the last tingles of Aziraphale’s orgasm, and it was time to clean up. He reached over to the nightstand, grabbed some tissues, and wiped himself clean. As soon as the tissues were discarded, he readjusted his pyjamas, righting himself, then pulled the duvet back on top of himself. Soon, that wouldn’t be a fantasy anymore, he told himself. Soon, he’d <i>actually</i> be able to suck Crowley off  - and to <i>be</i> sucked off. Aziraphale could hardly wait. </p><p>Idly, he wondered if Crowley had ever masturbated over him, too. Oh, that was a thrilling thought. Aziraphale thought he’d rather like to watch Crowley touch himself. </p><p>Soon. He could have all of that - and more - soon. </p><p>With a smile and a sigh, Aziraphale rolled over to get comfortable, thinking of Crowley as always. This time, when the doubting thoughts crept in, he pushed them aside. It was getting easier to do.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Oh! Hey! We're at the halfway point!</p><p>I hope you guys like smooching, because you're getting it in (pretty much) every chapter from here on out.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>Sunday, 9 August</i>
</p><p>It was a stunning Sunday afternoon, bright and sunshiny, the kind of day that lifted a man’s mood. Not that Crowley’s mood <i>needed</i> a lift, of course. He was spending the day with Aziraphale - it couldn’t possibly get any better for him. </p><p>He spread a tartan blanket out over a grassy hillside overlooking the city while Aziraphale waited nearby. The spot they’d chosen was miraculously deserted, and Crowley was glad. He had no intention of being inappropriate in public or anything, but also craved time alone with Aziraphale. The privacy was nice. </p><p>Once he had the blanket spread, Aziraphale toed off his shoes and stepped onto it, sitting down the hamper and taking a seat. Crowley kicked off his own shoes and followed, taking a seat next to Aziraphale as his beloved opened the basket. </p><p>“So, what have you got in there?” Crowley asked, peeking into the hamper. </p><p>“Just your standard picnic items, really. Sandwiches and the like,” he replied as he unpacked. “I hope you still like roast beef.”</p><p>Crowley grinned. “I do, very much. I assume you packed yourself a turkey club?”</p><p>“I did, in fact,” Aziraphale answered with a little smile. </p><p>He chuckled and darted over to press a quick, delighted kiss to his cheek, then helped distribute the food between them: sandwiches wrapped in wax paper, veggie sticks, and some fruit for dessert. Aziraphale pulled out a tartan thermos. </p><p>“What’s that?”</p><p>“Champagne.”</p><p>He raised one eyebrow and the corner of his mouth. “What’s the occasion?”</p><p>“No occasion, really. I just felt like celebrating.”</p><p>“Well, I’m all in favor of that.”</p><p>Aziraphale opened the thermos of champagne with a smile and poured each of them some in the small plastic cups he’d brought. Crowley accepted his and raised it.</p><p>“A toast?”</p><p>“To what, dear?”</p><p>“To us.”</p><p>“To us,” Aziraphale replied with a smile, and they clicked their plastic cups together. Both men took a sip, eyes locked on each other, then when they were finished, Crowley leaned over and kissed Aziraphale’s smile. </p><p><i>I love you,</i> he wanted to say, but didn’t. Not yet. Fergus was right, there was the chance it may scare him. Besides, he had <i>plans</i> for that.</p><p>Aziraphale flushed a little, smiling, then turned to his food. Crowley braced himself for the moan, and thankfully for his cock, it wasn't quite as intense as normal. The sandwich must not be as good, he supposed. Either way, he was grateful. </p><p>“So how is work?” Aziraphale asked between bites. “Are you settling into your new job well?”</p><p>“Well enough, I suppose. I’ve got a few coworkers that are a pain in my arse, but nothing too bad.”</p><p>“Care to tell me about it?”</p><p>“Nah, I don’t want to bore you.” Aziraphale gave him a look. “What?”</p><p>“Didn’t you just lecture me a week or so ago about not withholding conversation because I feared it would bore you?”</p><p>“Yes, but your topics of conversation are actually interesting. I <i>like</i> hearing you talk about things.”</p><p>“I like hearing you, too,” he said, then he brightened. “I know, let’s make a deal. You tell me about your coworkers who are a pain, and I’ll tell you about the new book I acquired this week. Well, the <i>old</i> book.”</p><p>“It’s a deal.”</p><p>Aziraphale gave a little, victorious wiggle of delight, charming the socks off of Crowley. “You go first,” he said. “What’s wrong with your coworkers?”</p><p>“I don’t quite know how to put it into words, actually. It’s an… odd work environment. Almost hostile. But it’s not that unusual.”</p><p>“How is it odd?”</p><p>“Did you ever see ‘Mad Men’?”</p><p>“Oh, yes. I’m very familiar. Gabriel gets told he looks like Don Draper frequently.”</p><p>“I can see that,” Crowley said, considering. “Well, it’s a lot like that - in all the negative ways. There’s a lot of backbiting and insider deals and drinking on the clock. Everyone has an overinflated sense of ego and seems to think they actually <i>are</i> Don Draper, even though none of them have even half the talent. There’s a lot of cronyism and I’m <i>clearly</i> on the outside right now - but that’s not a bad thing. I don’t think I <i>want</i> to be one of them. Their ideas are uninspired and bland - which is part of the reason the brass brought me in, so I could shake things up a bit. Right now, I’m working on trying to make them see that there are more demographics besides ‘middle aged’ and ‘white’.” </p><p>“That sounds awful,” Aziraphale said with a frown.</p><p>“It’s pretty par for the course, actually. My New York office was similar. It’s a cutthroat business, marketing, but I love it.”</p><p>“You’re not cutthroat, though.”</p><p>Crowley grinned. “You don’t get to see me at work. I’m just as much of a bastard as the next guy. The difference is, I’m talented.”</p><p>“I’m quite sure you are, dear,” Aziraphale said proudly. </p><p>He was chuffed by the praise. “So yeah, that’s my work situation. It’s not pleasant, but I'm not complaining. I’m paid <i>very</i> well, and the powers that be seem to really like me.”</p><p>“Well, that’s good, I suppose…”</p><p>“Now it’s your turn,” Crowley said. “Tell me about your book.”</p><p>Aziraphale’s eyes lit up and Crowley loved him so much in that moment he thought he’d die of it. </p><p>“It’s a Shakespeare anthology from the eighteenth century.”</p><p>“Bloody hell, that’s old for a book.”</p><p>“It is!” Aziraphale said excitedly. “It’s not in <i>ideal</i> shape, so I got it for a song. Only three thousand pounds.”</p><p>“Jesus!” Crowley exclaimed. </p><p>“What?”</p><p>“That’s a lot.”</p><p>“Oh, it’s really not, not for what I’ve got. I’m very much looking forward to restoring it. It just needs a little TLC, as they say, and it’ll be good as new. It’s going to be quite a lovely project.”</p><p>Crowley grinned. “Be sure to take before and after photos.”</p><p>“I certainly will.”</p><p>“What will you do with it when you get it restored? Sell it for a profit?”</p><p>“Oh, no. No, no. Absolutely not.”</p><p>Aziraphale looked so offended by the very idea Crowley had to bite back a laugh. “Why not?”</p><p>“Because I will have put so much <i>love</i> into it. I couldn’t let it go to some <i>stranger</i> who may not love it as much.”</p><p>Crowley was still grinning. “So you just hoard your tomes, like a literary dragon?”</p><p>Aziraphale cut him a look. “You’re so <i>terribly</i> funny.”</p><p>“And you’re so <i>terribly</i> cute.”</p><p>The angel flushed at that. “I’m not.”</p><p>“You are. Cutest thing I’ve ever seen.”</p><p>Aziraphale flushed even brighter, and Crowley chuckled, delighted. Unable to resist, he leaned over and kissed his cheek again. </p><p>“How are your plants?” Aziraphale asked after taking and swallowing a bite. </p><p>“They’re doing well. I had to move a couple of them around, to better provide them with shade or light, but they’ve all done very well so far.”</p><p>“You’re not <i>abusing</i> them, are you?” Aziraphale asked, his tone teasing. </p><p>Crowley rolled his eyes playfully. “No, actually, they’ve been spoiled by a certain angel.”</p><p>“Me?”</p><p>“Yes, you.”</p><p>“How did <i>I</i> spoil them?”</p><p>“By speaking to them so lovingly when we bought them. Now they think that’s the way they’re supposed to be treated all the time. Utterly rotten, they are.”</p><p>Aziraphale giggled and Crowley went on. “In all honesty, I can’t bring myself to shout at them too much, knowing it was <i>you</i> that picked them out,” he said in a tender voice. “And I haven’t had much reason to shout lately. I’ve been too happy.”</p><p>“You’re just saying that.”</p><p>“I’m not,” Crowley insisted. “It’s the honest truth.”</p><p>Aziraphale looked pleased, his cheeks pinkening again. “Well, if that’s true, I’m glad to have had a positive impact on the life of those plants.”</p><p>“They’re not the only one you’ve had a positive impact on. You’ve positively impacted <i>me</i>, too. Like the angel you are.”</p><p>Aziraphale didn’t say anything to that, just continued to look flushed. Crowley decided to spare him and looked out over the city. “This is a hell of a view.”</p><p>“It is,” Aziraphale agreed. “London is a beautiful city.”</p><p>“I don’t think I realized how much I’d missed it until I came back,” Crowley pondered aloud. “I think I told myself when I was living in New York that one city was just as good as the next, but that’s just not true. To me, London is the best city in the world.”</p><p>“I’m so happy to hear you say that,” Aziraphale said. “If you think it’s the best city in the world, maybe that means you’ll stay.”</p><p>“I’m not leaving, angel,” Crowley said seriously. “I’m staying right here. And if I ever <i>do</i> leave, I’m taking you with me.”</p><p>Aziraphale’s smile at that was blinding, and it made Crowley’s heart clutch in his chest. <i>Fuck</i>. How was it possible to love someone so much it hurt?</p><p>“Are you done with your meal?” he asked. </p><p>“Hmm? Oh. Yes, I’m done.”</p><p>Silently, Crowley took his rubbish and cup and put them into the hamper, along with his own. When he was done, he pushed the hamper out of the way and flopped back onto the blanket, crossing his ankles. Aziraphale looked at him curiously and Crowley grinned up at him. </p><p>“Care to join me?”</p><p>Aziraphale lay down beside him, a little more hesitant than Crowley had been, threading his fingers over his abdomen. That wouldn’t do, and Crowley gently pried his hand loose to hold on the blanket between them. Crowley smiled over at Aziraphale, taking in his profile, then looked up at the sky. </p><p>“Do you remember when we were kids, how we’d lay in the rear garden and look up at the sky for <i>hours</i>?”</p><p>“I do,” Aziraphale confirmed. “We’d look for patterns in the clouds and talk about nothing and everything. They’re some of my happiest memories.”</p><p>“All my memories with you are my happiest memories, angel. All of them.”</p><p>Aziraphale smiled at him, and Crowley smiled back, helpless and in love. </p><p>“That one looks like a seal,” Aziraphale said, pointing up at the clouds. “With a ball on his nose.”</p><p>“I see it. Do you see the one that looks like a bear?”</p><p>“Where?”</p><p>“Right over there,” Crowley said, pointing. </p><p>“Oh, I see it! Look beside it, there’s a little velocipede for him to ride.”</p><p>Crowley chuckled. “<i>Velocipede</i>. Look there,” he said, pointing in a different direction. “That one is pink and blue, like candy floss.”</p><p>“The sky is giving us a circus,” Aziraphale said with a smile. “It’s a nice little theme.”</p><p>They were quiet for a few minutes as the clouds floated by overhead, and Crowley marveled to himself. He’d never had any desire to do silly, romantic shit in any relationship before, but with Aziraphale, well, he wanted to do <i>all</i> the silly, romantic shit. All of it at the same time. He just loved Aziraphale so much, and was looking forward to his birthday, when he’d tell him. For now, he just squeezed the hand he held, hoping Aziraphale would understand. </p><p>The sun was warm, shining down on them, and Crowley was more comfortable than he’d been in ages. He closed his eyes and did his best to appreciate this moment, this one, perfect moment in his life. He felt sure there would be many more moments like this one in the future, and the thought made him giddy. </p><p>“What are you thinking?” Aziraphale asked from beside him, his voice hushed, as if he were trying not to break the moment. </p><p>Crowley smiled up at the sky. “I’m thinking about you, and how happy I am.”</p><p>Aziraphale’s head swiveled towards him. “You are?”</p><p>Crowley turned to face him, smiling. “Yeah. I am. Why? What are <i>you</i> thinking?”</p><p>“I think you should kiss me, then I’ll tell you what I’m thinking.”</p><p>The red haired man grinned. “Yes, sir,” he said, and reached across to touch Aziraphale’s face, leaning over to kiss him. It started out soft and sweet, and Crowley had every intention to keep it that way, but Aziraphale parted his lips and Crowley’s already tremulous willpower deserted him. He captured Aziraphale’s bottom lip between his, giving it a little nibble, and had to fight a smile when Aziraphale made a noise and turned his body more towards Crowley. Crowley responded by rolling towards Aziraphale, so they were lying on their sides, facing each other. Without breaking the kiss for more than a second, Crowley managed to pull Aziraphale into his arms. He was thrilled when he felt Aziraphale wrap his arms around him, too. He would keep it decent, he swore to himself. He could. He knew he could. </p><p>But with Aziraphale in his arms, their bodies pressed close together and kissing each other deeply, it didn’t take long before Crowley was hard in his trousers, debating to himself the merits of public decency. His want was rapidly becoming <i>need</i>, and he found himself rolling his hips experimentally, just to see what Aziraphale would do. Aziraphale responded by rolling his own hips, grinding against Crowley, and for the first time Crowley could <i>feel</i> his cock, hard and hot against him. He moaned into Aziraphale’s mouth. Holy <i>hell</i> he wanted to touch him. Now. </p><p>Crowley let his hands wander over Aziraphale’s back and sides, careful to take it slow, following the angel’s lead. Aziraphale’s hands were on the move as well, one of them buried in Crowley’s hair, and the other skating down his side. Crowley nearly discorporated when Aziraphale’s hand slid below his belt, over his bum, and squeezed. He thrust forward involuntarily, and sent his own hand down to grab Aziraphale’s arse. Oh, fuck, it felt even better in his hand than he’d imagined, and Crowley grew impossibly harder. </p><p>Within minutes, they were grinding against each other rhythmically, moving in perfect concert, creating delicious friction against their cocks. Crowley broke the kiss, panting for air, and attacked Aziraphale’s neck, kissing and licking and sucking. “Angel,”  he moaned between kisses, “angel…”</p><p>“Oh, Crowley,” Aziraphale sighed into his ear, then took Crowley’s earlobe between his teeth. </p><p>Crowley was quickly becoming overstimulated, between the hand on his arse, the angel’s hot breath in his ear, and the feeling of Aziraphale’s cock against his. He hadn't come in his pants since he was a teenager, but he was getting dangerously close now. Unable to stop himself, he released Aziraphale’s arse and slid his hand between them to grip Aziraphale’s prick. It felt so big, so thick, and Crowley nearly came from the thought of what that cock would feel like filling him. Aziraphale was thrusting into his hand, and Crowley wanted to <i>touch</i> him properly, to bring him off, so he gave that thick cock one last squeeze and reached for Aziraphale’s zipper. </p><p>“Wait,” Aziraphale said suddenly, and Crowley froze, removing his hands from Aziraphale’s body at once. </p><p>“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean --”</p><p>He was cut off when Aziraphale kissed him again, a hot, urgent, quick kiss that confused him. “You didn't do anything wrong,” Aziraphale said when they broke the kiss. “We just need to talk.”</p><p>“About what?” Crowley asked, his heart in his throat. </p><p>“We need to discuss this before we do it. And we probably shouldn’t be doing it in the middle of a park. Will you talk to me?”</p><p>“Kiss me one more time and I will.”</p><p>Aziraphale grinned, then pressed a soft, unhurried kiss to Crowley’s lips. “There,” he said. “Now will you talk with me?”</p><p>“I’ll do anything you want, angel,” Crowley vowed. </p><p>“Let’s sit up.”</p><p>Crowley obeyed, sitting up beside Aziraphale, still a little dazed, his cock throbbing. He adjusted himself subtly to make room for his erection and did his best not to look at Aziraphale’s crotch longingly. </p><p>“Okay,” he said when he gathered his thoughts a minute later. “First, let me say I’m sorry. I forgot where we were, and I didn’t mean to push you.”</p><p>“You didn’t push me, that’s not why I stopped you.”</p><p>“Why did you, then? Because we’re in public?”</p><p>“Yes, that’s part of it. But we need to talk, before things go any further.”</p><p>“Is this a bad talk?” Crowley asked, wary. </p><p>“No, no, darling. It’s not. Just necessary.”</p><p><i>Darling</i>. Aziraphale had never called him ‘darling’ before, and he took a moment to bask in that before he took a deep breath and said, “Alright. I’m ready. What do we need to talk about?”</p><p>“Several things. And I need you to be patient with me, as this is a tricky topic and I’m struggling with embarrassment.”</p><p>“You never have to be embarrassed with me, Aziraphale. Ever.”</p><p>“I know I don’t have to be, but I still feel shy about this. Nevertheless, we <i>must</i> have these conversations.”</p><p>“What do you want to discuss?”</p><p>“Several things. We should probably discuss the pace at which we’re moving. We also need to talk about likes and dislikes, sexually. But first, we need to discuss sexual health.”</p><p>“What about it?”</p><p>Aziraphale’s cheeks were pink, but he looked determined. “We’re going to have to be frank with each other. Would that be alright?”</p><p>“Of course, angel. I have no secrets from you.”</p><p>“Very good. Oh, dear, this is more uncomfortable than I thought…”</p><p>“Do you want to know the last time I was tested?” Crowley offered, trying to help. </p><p>“Yes, that’s correct.”</p><p>“Two years ago.”</p><p>“Have you had any partners since then?”</p><p>“Two, and we used a condom.”</p><p>“Would you be willing to be tested again?”</p><p>“Absolutely, angel. I’ll go tomorrow.”</p><p>Aziraphale looked surprised, but pleased. “You will?”</p><p>“Yes. I’ll search online tonight for a clinic and go on my lunch break tomorrow.”</p><p>“You’d do that for me?”</p><p>Crowley almost felt like rolling his eyes. “Don’t you know by now that I’d do <i>anything</i> for you, Aziraphale?”</p><p>Aziraphale just flushed and smiled. Ridiculous creature. </p><p>“Is that all?” he asked. </p><p>“Don’t you want to ask about me?”</p><p>“I mean, I can, but if you’re conscious enough to bring it up, you’re probably conscious enough to stay on top of your sexual health. But I will anyway. Have you been tested?”</p><p>“I get tested every February, at my physical.”</p><p>“Have you had sex since then?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Then that’s all I need to know.”</p><p>“You don’t want me to have a repeat test?”</p><p>“I guess you can, but I don’t think it’s necessary. I trust you.”</p><p>“Oh,” Aziraphale said, looking away. </p><p>“What’s wrong?”</p><p>“Well now I’m concerned I’m not trusting <i>you</i> enough.”</p><p>Crowley grinned and kissed him quickly. “It’s fine. It's been two years and condoms aren’t foolproof. I’ll get tested tomorrow.”</p><p>“Thank you, dear.”</p><p>“You’re welcome. Anything for you. Now next, you wanted to talk about the pacing?”</p><p>“Yes, I suppose we should…”</p><p>“Am I going too fast for you?”</p><p>“No, not exactly…”</p><p>Crowley narrowed his eyes. “What does ‘not exactly’ mean?”</p><p>Aziraphale was flushing and looked anxious. “I mean that this is all going very fast, yes, and I usually prefer to take things at a much slower pace than this. Normally, I don’t sleep with someone unless I’ve been dating them at least a month or two or three.”</p><p>Crowley tried not to cringe. He’d go mad in that time. Looked like he was going to be wanking alot for the next several weeks.</p><p>“Understood,” he said. “I’ll back off.”</p><p>“No, no, you misunderstand. I’ve - I’ve been advised to go with the flow in our relationship, to be guided by what seems right in the moment.”</p><p>“You’ve been advised?”</p><p>“Yes. By Gabriel and my friend Tracy. They both suggested I lean into this, that I ‘go with the flow’, so to speak.”</p><p><i>God bless Gabriel and Tracy</i>, he thought.</p><p>Aloud, he said, “Angel, the <i>last</i> thing I want to do is push you into something you're not ready for. I can wait as long as you need me to. Years, if you want. <i>You</i> set the pace. Alright?”</p><p>Aziraphale nodded. “Alright. But I don't think you’re going to have to wait long. If I hadn’t suddenly remembered we were in public, we’d likely be making love right now.”</p><p>Crowley chuckled and leaned forward to give him a soft kiss. “Curse your memory, then,” he said teasingly against his lips. </p><p>The blond man grinned. “Quite right.”</p><p>He retreated back to his side of the blanket. “Like I said, angel, I’ll wait years, if that’s what you want.”</p><p>“Thank you, darling.  I promise not to make you wait long.”</p><p>“Well, I have to be honest, I really <i>hope</i> not,” he joked, and Aziraphale gave a little laugh. His erection was subsiding and he was more relaxed now. “So the last thing you want to talk about is preferences?”</p><p>Aziraphale nodded. “Yes. I, um, I wonder what kind of sex you like.”</p><p>“I like all kinds, angel. And I’m especially going to like it with you.”</p><p>The angel wouldn’t meet his eyes. “Do you like anal sex?”</p><p>“I do,” Crowley confirmed, amused in spite of himself. </p><p>“Do you prefer… do you like…?”</p><p>“Are you asking if I like to top or bottom?”</p><p>Aziraphale looked relieved. “Yes.”</p><p>“I like both. Sometimes I like to top, and sometimes I like to bottom. It depends on my mood - and the preference of my partner. What about you?”</p><p>He was blushing furiously. “I - I like both, too. Perhaps with a slight preference for bottoming. But only very slight. I tend to switch.”</p><p>Crowley leaned over and kissed him. “I’ll do whatever you want me to, angel.”</p><p>“I want it to be pleasurable for you, too.”</p><p>“Oh, it will be for me. I promise you that. But I’m going to do everything in my power to make it good for <i>you.</i>”</p><p>“I’m sure it’s going to be otherworldly,” Aziraphale said. “Is there anything that you particularly like? Or that you want?”</p><p>“I really love oral sex  - both giving and recieving.” </p><p>“Oh, good. Me, too.”</p><p>“Do you like rimjobs?” Crowley asked. </p><p>“I’ve never done that,” Aziraphale admitted with a blush. “But I’m willing to try.”</p><p>Crowley felt a sudden thrill. The thought of being able to put his mouth and hands on that arse was thrilling enough, but the knowledge that he’d be the one to introduce his angel to this, that it would be for him only… no one else… he was elated.</p><p>“Well, we’ll just have to try that and see how you like it.”</p><p>“I’ve heard it’s <i>very</i> pleasurable.”</p><p>“It is. I love it.”</p><p>“Giving or receiving?”</p><p>“Both.”</p><p>“Well, it seems as if you and I are going to be <i>quite</i> sexually compatible, doesn’t it?”</p><p>Crowley grinned. “Was there ever any doubt we would be?”</p><p>“I - I was afraid to think about it too much.”</p><p>He suspected that was a lie, was almost sure of it, but didn’t call him out. “Well, I’ve spent a fucking boatload of time thinking about it.”</p><p>Aziraphale’s eyes were wide. “You have?”</p><p>“Oh, yes. Loads and loads of time. But there’s no rush, Aziraphale,” Crowley said, covering his hand. “I don’t want to go too fast for you.”</p><p>“You won’t. I want this. You can’t believe how much I want this.”</p><p>Crowley grinned. “Me, too.”</p><p>Aziraphale was quiet a moment, then asked, “Does this all feel a bit surreal to you?” </p><p>“What, me and you?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Kinda. Mostly, I just have a hard time believing that you agreed to date me. I don’t understand how I’m the luckiest man on the planet.”</p><p>Aziraphale smiled. “We’ll see how lucky you feel after you’ve been with me for a while. I’m no prize.”</p><p>“Ding, dong, you are wrong. You’re the <i>grand</i> prize, angel. And I’m going to spend the rest of my life proving that to you.”</p><p>Aziraphale’s cheeks colored again. It was so fetching, and he did it so frequently… Crowley hoped he never stopped.</p><p>“Are you working next Saturday? Or would you be willing to close up the shop a little early?”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“I want to take you somewhere.”</p><p>“Where to?”</p><p>“I want you to be my date to London Pride.”</p><p>His eyes widened. “You want to go to Pride?”</p><p>“With my boyfriend, yes. Will you?”</p><p>“Oh, I don’t know. I’ve never been…”</p><p>“I’ve never been to <i>this</i> Pride, but I’ve been to the one in New York. It’s so fun, angel. And it’s a huge relief to be surrounded by people like you.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t have the foggiest idea what to wear. I don’t own any rainbow apparel.”</p><p>“You don’t have to dress up. I’m probably not going to look much different from normal. Maybe a badge or ribbon or something. But you don’t have to get all decked out.”</p><p>“Are you <i>sure</i> you want me to go?”</p><p>Crowley raised the hand he held to his lips and kissed it. “I want to take my bloke to Pride. I want to show him off to the world, to show everyone how lucky I am. Will you please go with me?”</p><p>Aziraphale swallowed and nodded. “Yes. I’ll go with you.”</p><p>Crowley beamed and kissed him, excited and joyful. “Thank you, angel. Thank you.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
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  <i>Over a thousand comments holy shit you guys</i>
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  <i>THANK YOU!!!</i>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I forgot to note a couple of things last chapter and they don't really apply until <i>next</i> chapter, but I'm afraid I'll forget then, too, so I'm telling y'all now. </p><p>I have never really been to Pride, and certainly not the Prides in New York or London. I did do a fair amount of research and asked friends who <i>had</i> been to London Pride what it was like and let that inform my writing as best I could. Also, I know that London Pride usually takes place at the end of June or beginning of July (and didn't take place at all this year - thanks Covid), but I needed it to happen in August. So I fudged it. I hope that's okay. </p><p>Anyway... here's some uncertainty, some fluffy, saccharine sweetness, and then some pornography! I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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  <i>Thursday, 13 August</i>
</p><p>Aziraphale settled into the chair across from Tracy on Thursday afternoon, just as he always did. As <i>she</i> usually did, Tracy requested Earl Grey and scones to the table, and gave Aziraphale a smile as she took her seat. </p><p>“How are you?” she asked. </p><p>“I’m good,” he replied with a smile. </p><p>“You seem a bit better.”</p><p>“How do you mean?”</p><p>“Your aura has settled down a bit. It’s more magenta.”</p><p>Aziraphale had no idea what that meant, but assumed it was good. “I’m glad to hear it.”</p><p>Tracy opened her mouth to speak, probably to pry into his personal life, but Anathema appeared at the table with the tray of tea and scones. They both thanked her kindly and she smiled before she flounced off.</p><p>“She’s a lovely girl,” Aziraphale said, watching her go. “I can see why Newt is so taken with her.”</p><p>Tracy’s eyebrows rose as she poured their tea. “He is?”</p><p>“Oh, heavens yes. It’s really quite cute.”</p><p>“Do you know, she’s mentioned <i>him</i> a time or two,” Tracy said wonderingly. </p><p>Aziraphale gave her a smile. “I know what you’re thinking, Tracy Shadwell. You want to play matchmaker.”</p><p>“But they’d make such a <i>lovely</i> couple, Zira…”</p><p>“Oh, I’m not cross about it. In fact, I think we should work together to help them.”</p><p>Tracy’s eyes lit up. “Truly?”</p><p>“Yes. I think it would be great fun, and two people we’re fond of would benefit. How should we go about it?”</p><p>They talked in hushed tones, leaned over the table a little so Anathema couldn't hear, coming up with ideas and plans to bring two young people together. After about ten minutes, they had a solid plan. </p><p>“Do you think it’ll work?” Aziraphale asked. </p><p>“Oh, I think so. All we have to do is get them together and let nature take its course.”</p><p>“That was great fun,” Aziraphale admitted with a smile. “Playing cupid. I can see why you enjoy it so much.”</p><p>She gave him a sly grin. “It’s even more fun when they end up together.”</p><p>“Have you <i>ever</i> had much success in matching people?”</p><p>“Not as of yet,” Tracy said easily. “But the universe is bound to give me a win soon.”</p><p>Aziraphale chuckled.</p><p>“So,” Tracy said, picking up the teapot to pour the second cup. “Tell me about things with Crowley.”</p><p>“They’re going very well. We’ve been spending quite a bit of time together - dinners out and picnics and other kinds of dates. We communicate by text frequently, several times a day, and I either see him or speak with him over the phone every evening.”</p><p>“That all sounds good.”</p><p>“He’s asked me to be his date to Pride.”</p><p>“Are you going to go?”</p><p>“Yes, I think so. I’m a bit nervous about it, but he insists it will be fun.”</p><p>“Are you doing what I said and leaning into this?”</p><p>“I am… for the most part.”</p><p>She gave him a shrewd look. “Yes, your aura suggests you’re still struggling, although not as badly.”</p><p>“I thought you said my aura was magenta?”</p><p>“It is, but there are still lots of orange hues, which suggest reluctance or hesitation.”</p><p>Aziraphale fought the urge to roll his eyes. “I’m much better than I was, but yes, there are still some concerns.”</p><p>“What are they?”</p><p>“Just what I’ve already told you. I fear that he’s doing this out of a sense of obligation and not because of any real feeling for me.” Just talking about the subject was spiking his anxiety a bit, and he did his best to tamp it down. </p><p>“Has he done anything to make you think he’s not genuine since we last spoke?”</p><p>“No,” Aziraphale admitted. “In fact, it’s just the opposite. His words and actions lead me to believe he <i>is</i> genuine. But I still have fears that he’s only doing it because of the pact, and I can’t help them.” </p><p>“Are they at least getting better?”</p><p>“They are,” Aziraphale said with a smile. “When those doubting voices crop up now, it’s much easier to push them back down. Eventually, I hope I won’t have to deal with them at all.”</p><p>“I predict you won’t,” Tracy said confidently.</p><p>“I hope you’re right.”</p><p>“You know, there’s an easy way you could solve this. Settle the doubts completely.”</p><p>“And how is that?”</p><p>“Just <i>ask</i> him if he’s doing this because of the pact.”</p><p>“Oh, no. No, I couldn’t possibly.” </p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>“I just couldn’t,” he insisted.</p><p>“I truly don’t see why not. It’s a simple question and the answer would eliminate all doubt, one way or the other.”</p><p>“He could lie and say he wasn’t,” Aziraphale pointed out. </p><p>“Do you really think he’d do that?”</p><p>“He might if he was only trying to make himself fall in love with me,” he said, his anxieties and doubts spiking again. </p><p>“More likely, he’d tell you he’s doing it because he’s mad about you and set your mind at ease.”</p><p>Aziraphale shook his head. “No, there’s too great a chance that he might tell me what I want to hear. I’m better off not knowing. It’s better for my heart - and my nerves - this way.” </p><p>“My, but you’re stubborn.”</p><p>He gave a soft smile. “You’re not the first person to tell me that.”</p><p>“Well, keep it in mind anyway.”</p><p>“I will, dear.”</p><p>“When can I meet him?”</p><p>Aziraphale was surprised. “You’d like to?”</p><p>“Oh, yes, very much. Why don’t you two come by Saturday, during Pride, and say hello? I’ll be here until closing.”</p><p>“I’ll run it by Crowley, but I don’t see why not.”</p><p>“Maybe he’ll let me read his cards.”</p><p>“I very much doubt that. He’s like me, a skeptic.”</p><p>“Well, I still wish you’d humor me and let me read <i>your</i> cards sometime.”</p><p>“Tracy, my dear, you know me too well. It could never be a fair reading. Your intuition would be colored by your knowledge of me.”</p><p>“Why don’t you let Anathema read them? She hardly knows you at all.”</p><p>He sighed. “You’re not going to let up until I agree, are you?”</p><p>Her eyes twinkled. “Probably not.”</p><p>“Oh, alright. Fine. I’ll let Anathema read my cards sometime, but not today. Perhaps for my birthday in two weeks.”</p><p>“Good, then it’s settled. Now, when are you seeing your bloke again?”</p><p>Aziraphale smiled. “We’re going to dinner tonight…”</p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div>Aziraphale got a text from Crowley an hour before closing, fifteen minutes before he was supposed to pick him up. <p>Crowley: <i>I have to cancel on you tonight, angel. I’m so sorry.</i><br/>Aziraphale: <i>Are you alright?</i><br/>Crowley: <i>I’m fine, just stuck at work for a couple more hours. Got to get this finished so I can be off on Saturday. I’m sorry.</i><br/>Aziraphale:<i> Don’t be sorry, dear, work comes first. </i><br/>Crowley: <i>No, you come first x </i><br/>Crowley: <i>Can I call you when I get home?</i><br/>Aziraphale: <i>I hope you do. </i><br/>Crowley:<i> I’ll call tonight around nine then, angel. I’m so sorry. x</i><br/>Aziraphale: <i>Don’t apologize. I’ll be waiting by the phone. x</i></p><p>He pouted to himself for a minute in the back room, then squared his shoulders and went out into the shop to offer to let Newt go home early. </p><p>An hour later, he closed the shop and went upstairs to peruse his takeaway menus. He decided on Thai and called it in, then settled into his favorite seat with a good book. When the food arrived, he ate it in front of the telly, and then went back to his book. He was just about halfway through and contemplating getting up to make his nightly chamomile tea when the mobile buzzed beside him. He picked it up to find a message from Crowley. </p><p>Crowley: <i>Okay to call?</i><br/>Aziraphale: <i>Of course :) </i></p><p>The mobile rang in his hand a minute later, and he smiled when he answered it. </p><p>“Hello?”</p><p>“Hiya, angel.”</p><p>“Crowley,” he said, feeling himself flood with warmth. </p><p>“How are you?”</p><p>“I’m much better, now that you’ve called.”</p><p>“I’m better now that I can hear your voice, too. What are you up to?”</p><p>“I was just sitting here, reading.”</p><p>“Anything good?”</p><p>“Charlotte Bronte.”</p><p>“You could have just said no.”</p><p>“Oh, you demon,” he admonished while Crowley chortled in his ear. He couldn’t help but smile. “Wicked creature.”</p><p>“How was your day?”</p><p>“It was very nice,” Aziraphale said. “Just your regular Thursday, really. I was at the shop all day, except for a brief excursion this afternoon to take tea with Tracy.”</p><p>“How is she?”</p><p>“She’s well. We spent some time today plotting to get Newt and her assistant, Anathema, together.” </p><p>There was a smile in Crowley’s voice. “You’re playing matchmaker?”</p><p>“I am, actually. And it was terribly fun. I can see why Tracy spent so much time trying to get me into a relationship now.”</p><p>“She’s not doing that anymore, is she?” Crowley asked, a sudden edge to his voice. </p><p>“Oh, no, no. Not at all. She’s very happy that you and I are together, and she’s in full support.”</p><p>“Good, I’m glad to hear it.”</p><p>“What are <i>you</i> doing?”</p><p>“I just got home.”</p><p>Aziraphale glanced at the clock: it was 9:45. “Goodness, that’s a long day.”</p><p>“It was a <i>very</i> long day,” Crowley agreed. “But I should be able to finish up what’s left tomorrow and that’ll leave me free all day Saturday.”</p><p>He smiled. “I’m glad, darling.”</p><p>“So I have some news.”</p><p>Aziraphale froze. “Oh?”</p><p>“Mhm. My test results came back. I’ve got a clean bill of health.” </p><p>“That’s <i>wonderful</i> news,” Aziraphale said with a wide smile. </p><p>“I thought so,” Crowley replied in a low voice. </p><p>Aziraphale closed his eyes. Sex with Crowley was one step closer to being a reality. Idly, he wondered if they’d even make it past this weekend. He doubted it. He already wanted Crowley so badly he could taste it, and was having to tamp down the urge to invite Crowley over right that moment. </p><p>Crowley cleared his throat, breaking into Aziraphale’s thoughts. “So are you ready for Pride?”</p><p>“I think so. I bought something to wear today, when I went to see Tracy.”</p><p>“Oh? What did you buy?”</p><p>“You’ll see,” Aziraphale replied coyly. “It’s nothing spectacular. Just a nod to the occasion.”</p><p>“Well, I suppose I should confess that I bought something to wear, too. Nothing fancy, just a t-shirt. And I also bought you something.”</p><p>“You did?”</p><p>“Mhm. You can have it on Saturday.”</p><p>“Well I can hardly wait. And it sounds as if we’ll be somewhat coordinated. People will know we’re together.”</p><p>“Everyone is going to know we’re together anyway, angel, because I don’t intend to leave your side. I hope you’re alright with having your hand held for hours and getting hundreds of kisses from me.”</p><p>“Hundreds?”</p><p>“If not thousands.”</p><p>Aziraphale giggled. “You’re silly.”</p><p>“I’m only exaggerating a little bit. You’ll see.”</p><p>“I suppose I will. Is there anything I need to know about Pride before we go that I can't learn by reading about it?”</p><p>“You’ve been reading about it?”</p><p>“I read a couple of articles today. ‘Pride for Beginners’, things like that.”</p><p>“Honestly, I’ve only ever been to one Pride before, in New York, so I’m far from an expert.”</p><p>“Well, tell me what it was like?”</p><p>“There’s a huge sense of community. Everyone is there for a common reason, so there’s almost like an unspoken bond, in a lot of ways. It gets hot, so we’ll need sunscreen and water, but everyone is extremely friendly and will give you some if you don’t have any. Strangers will strike up conversations with you.”</p><p>“That sounds… like an experience.”</p><p>“It really is. The parade in New York was <i>immense</i>. It went on for hours. There were the types you’d expect to see - drag queens and people dressed flamboyantly, decked out in rainbows, but there were a surprising amount of families, too. Despite that, there’s <i>lots</i> of drinking and lots of couples making out.”</p><p>“Wow.”</p><p>“It really is fun though, angel. I wouldn’t have suggested it if I didn’t think you’d have a good time.”</p><p>“I trust you implicitly, darling. But I can’t help but be a little anxious about the unknown.”</p><p>“I understand. You’ll be fine. I’ll be with you every single minute and if you want to leave at any point, we’ll go. No questions asked.”</p><p>“Thank you, dear. I know that after a while in crowds, I tend to get ‘peopled out’ and need to go home. I hope you won’t mind.”</p><p>“I won’t mind at all. Promise.”</p><p>“I wonder if I could talk you into something?”</p><p>“What’s that?”</p><p>“My friend Tracy would like to meet you. Would you be willing?”</p><p>There was a smile in Crowley’s voice. “You want to introduce me to your friend?”</p><p>“Of course I do. Why wouldn’t I? She’s heard so much about you, after all.”</p><p>“Well, it would be my honor.”</p><p>“Oh, very good.”</p><p>“Are you still going with me to Tadfield on Sunday?”</p><p>“I’d been planning on it, yes. Gabriel agreed to move our dinner to Fridays, starting a week from tomorrow.”</p><p>“Good, I’m glad. I’ll put it on my calendar.”</p><p>“Sounds like we have a busy weekend ahead of us,” Aziraphale said with a smile. </p><p>“Is that a bad thing?”</p><p>“Oh, no,” Aziraphale hastened to reassure him. “Not at all. I was just remarking. Are you sure you want to spend your <i>entire</i> weekend with me?”</p><p>“Angel, I want to spend every waking minute with you. Every last one of them. Come to think of it, I want to spend every last <i>non</i> waking minute with you, too.”</p><p>Aziraphale was beaming. “You do?”</p><p>“I do. That’s my life's goal: to spend as much time with you as possible.”</p><p>“I want to spend all my time with you, too,” Aziraphale confessed. </p><p>“Well, you can have all the time with me you want,” Crowley promised. “If I’m not working, I’m at your disposal.”</p><p>“I’ll keep that in mind,” Aziraphale replied flirtatiously. </p><p>“So, angel, I was wondering… speaking of spending a lot of time together…”</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“Your birthday is coming up. Two weeks from today.”</p><p>“Yes, the twenty-seventh.”</p><p>“Do you have plans?”</p><p>“No, not really. Gabriel will likely want to take me to lunch, but other than that, it’s just a regular day.”</p><p>“Can you have Newt close that night? I’d like to take you to dinner at the Ritz.”</p><p>“The Ritz!”</p><p>“Yes. Would you like to go?”</p><p>“Oh, I’d <i>love</i> to go! It’s long been a bucket list item of mine, if you will.”</p><p>“Good. I’ll call and make reservations tomorrow. Also…”</p><p>“Yes?” Aziraphale asked, feeling a thrill.</p><p>“Would you be willing to let me take you to Paris that weekend, to celebrate your fortieth?”</p><p>Aziraphale covered his mouth with his fingertips. “Oh, Crowley…”</p><p>“I know that’s presumptuous, and I'm sorry. We can have separate hotel rooms, if you’d like. I just know how much you like French food, and I’d like to kiss you at the top of the Eiffel Tower. What do you say?”</p><p>There were tears pricking his eyes. “I say yes! Oh, Crowley. Yes. I’d love to go.”</p><p>“Great. That's great. Fucking fantastic.”</p><p>“How you spoil me, dear.”</p><p>“I have not yet begun to spoil you, angel. But I will. I swear I will.”</p><p>Aziraphale flushed, pleased. “Is it too soon for you to take time off at your new job?”</p><p>“Nah. I’ll book the tickets tomorrow. Pack your bags, angel, we’re going to gay Paris.”</p><p>Aziraphale swallowed his nerves with an audible gulp, closed his eyes, and said, “Speaking of packing your bags…”</p><p>“Yeah, angel?”</p><p>“What would you say if I asked you to pack a bag Saturday, to spend the night with me?”</p><p>Crowley was silent a moment. “Are you serious?”</p><p>“I’m very serious.”</p><p>“Angel…” Crowley groaned. </p><p>“You don’t <i>have</i> to, of course,” he rushed ahead, embarrassed and flushing. “I just thought…”</p><p>“<i>Angel</i>,” Crowley said insistently. </p><p>Aziraphale closed his eyes. “Yes, dear?”</p><p>“I want that. You can’t possibly know how much I want that. But I don’t know if I can be trusted to act the gentleman if I do.”</p><p>“What if… What if I don’t want you to?”</p><p>Crowley groaned again. </p><p>Aziraphale thought that might be a positive sound, he hoped it was, but wasn’t sure. “Is that so terrible?”</p><p>“No, it’s not. It’s fucking <i>wonderful</i>. But I need you to be sure.”</p><p>“I am,” Aziraphale said in as firm a voice as he could manage. “I want you to spend the night with me, to sleep with me. Will you?”</p><p>“God, angel, fuck. <i>Yes</i>, of course I will.”</p><p>“Oh, jolly good,” Aziraphale said, giving a little wiggle. </p><p>“Bloody hell, angel. The things I'm going to do to you…”</p><p>“Tell me.”</p><p>“What?” Crowley said, sounding surprised. </p><p>“Tell me what you’re going to do to me. I’ll tell you my plans for you if you do.”</p><p>“Are you saying - angel, are you suggesting we have <i>phone sex</i>?”</p><p>“Are you opposed?”</p><p>“Ngk. Nuh-uh. Not at all. I’m just surprised at you. I never would have expected you to be the phone sex type.”</p><p>“I’m not, usually. But I find myself quite randy right now, with the object of my affections on the phone with me, so I thought we could give it a try.”</p><p>“Well I’m in. One hundred percent. I’m already hard as a fucking rock, just from talking to you.”</p><p>“I am, too,” Aziraphale admitted, looking down at his tented trousers. “I’ve never done this before, but I’ve read about it.”</p><p>Crowley huffed a laugh in his ear. “Of course you have. I should have expected that,” he said fondly. </p><p>“Quite right. Anyway, from my reading, it seems that you’re supposed to discuss  a shared fantasy or some situation. What would you like to discuss?”</p><p>“I don’t care, angel. I’ll talk about anything you want me to. Anything at all.”</p><p>“Why don’t we discuss what could have happened on Sunday on our picnic if I hadn’t remembered we were in public?”</p><p>“Yes, good. Perfect,” Crowley agreed.</p><p>“Very good. If I remember correctly, you had your hand on my prick and were going for my zipper.”</p><p>“I was. I wanted to get my hand around you so fucking badly.”</p><p>“What would you have done if I hadn't stopped you?”</p><p>“I’d have unzipped your trousers and stuck my hand inside to find you and touch you. I’d start pumping you with long, slow strokes.”</p><p>“Mmm, I like that. Your hand feels good around me. What is your mouth doing?”</p><p>“Kissing and sucking your neck, nibbling it. Not enough to leave a mark…”</p><p>“You can mark me,” Aziraphale said quickly. “I’m not ashamed to wear a mark from you. In fact, I’d be proud.”</p><p>Crowley groaned. “Then that’s what I’d do. I’d stroke your cock and suck on your neck until I marked you. Claimed you as mine.”</p><p>“I’d like to touch you, too. Would that be alright?”</p><p>“Please, angel. Please touch me.”</p><p>“I’d cover your cock with my hand for a moment, then unzip <i>your</i> trousers and seek you out.” </p><p>“Yesss…” Crowley hissed. </p><p>“Are you touching yourself, darling?”</p><p>“I am. Are you?”</p><p>“Not yet.”</p><p>“Get your cock out, angel. Touch it and pretend it’s my hand instead of yours.”</p><p>Aziraphale obediently unzipped his trousers and pulled out his flushed prick. He ran his fingertips up and down the shaft, closing his eyes and imagining Crowley’s touch. </p><p>“Are you doing it?”</p><p>“I am,” Aziraphale confirmed, eyes still closed. </p><p>“Where are you?”</p><p>“I’m in my lounge, on my sofa.”</p><p>“If I were there with you, I’d get on my knees in front of you and start licking and kissing you.”</p><p>“Oh, Crowley, that’s not fair. I want to touch you, too.”</p><p>“You do?”</p><p>“Yes. I very much want my mouth on you.”</p><p>“Then we can sixty-nine. I don't care. But I <i>need</i> to get you in my mouth.”</p><p>“Yes. Let’s do that.”</p><p>“So imagine we’re in your bed, lying facing each other. Your gorgeous cock is in front of my face…”</p><p>“You’ve never seen it. How do you know it’s gorgeous?”</p><p>“Because it’s attached to you. Now hush, I’m concentrating.”</p><p>Aziraphale stifled a giggle. “Okay.”</p><p>“I’d lick the head of your cock a little, tasting you.”</p><p>“I’d do exactly the same, but I’m impatient and greedy. It wouldn’t be long before I’d have to take all of you into my mouth.”</p><p>Crowley let out another groan, a low sound full of longing, and Aziraphale wrapped his hand around himself, starting to pump. </p><p>“Oh, my darling,” he said. “I can’t wait to taste you properly.”</p><p>“I can’t wait, either. I’d start sucking you, steady and slow, building my way up.”</p><p>“Feels good,” Aziraphale said. He could feel himself getting closer already, and sped up the motions of his hand. “I’d return the favor by sucking you most ardently.”</p><p>“Only you could make a phrase like ‘most ardently’ sound so fucking erotic, angel.”</p><p>“Is that a bad thing?”</p><p>“No. Not at <i>all</i>.”</p><p>“Good.”</p><p>“I’d put one hand on your hip and start encouraging you to thrust into my mouth.”</p><p>Aziraphale’s breaths were getting choppy. “You want me to fuck your mouth, dearest?”</p><p>“Yes, please, fuck, yes. Fuck my face. And put your hand in my hair.”</p><p>“Only if - oh, my - only if you’ll do the same for me.”</p><p>“You want that?”</p><p>“Yes, very much.”</p><p>“Shit. Okay. So I hold onto your head and start thrusting into your mouth gently.” </p><p>“Don’t be <i>too</i> gentle,” Aziraphale said, his voice ragged. “I won’t break.”</p><p>“Fuck. <i>Fuck</i>. Okay. I’m still sucking you, letting you fuck my face.”</p><p>“I’d open my mouth wider and let you go deeper,” Aziraphale said. </p><p>“<i>Fuck!</i>” Crowley shouted. “Shit! Angel, I’m getting close…”</p><p>“I am, too. I’m going to come soon. Do you want me to come in your mouth?”</p><p>“Please,” Crowley moaned. “Please come in my mouth. Or on my face. I’ll do anything, angel, just <i>please</i>...”</p><p>“I want to taste you, too, dear. I want you to fuck my mouth until you come right down my throat. Are you imagining it? Are you imagining what it would feel like to fuck my mouth?”</p><p>“Here I come, angel. <i>Shit!</i> Here I come!”</p><p>“Come for me, darling. Oh! Please come for me.”</p><p>“Ah! Ah! Shit!”</p><p>There was a chorus of sounds from Crowley, moans and grunts mingled with some shouted swear words, and the sounds of his ecstasy pushed Aziraphale over the edge into his own. He came with a cry, Crowley’s name on his lips, his seed spilling hot over his hand. He was barely cognizant enough to keep the phone to his ear, his eyes screwed up tight as he fucked his fist. When he was too sensitive to continue, he stopped, out of breath and buzzing pleasantly from his orgasm. He lay his head back on the couch, his hand still loosely wrapped around his cock, and tried to catch his breath. </p><p>Crowley’s breathing was harsh in his ear. “Holy <i>shit</i>, angel.”</p><p>Aziraphale gave a tired smile, eyes still closed. “Was it good for you, darling?”</p><p>“I fucking came like a freight train. I haven’t come that hard by my own hand in <i>years</i>.”</p><p>“I came rather forcefully, too,” he admitted, still out of breath. He wanted to tell Crowley he loved him, he wanted to so badly, but pushed that thought aside. <i>No.</i></p><p>“Are you alright?” he asked instead.</p><p>“Me? I’m better than I’ve ever been. I just wish you were here so I could hold you.”</p><p>Aziraphale smiled in spite of himself. “You want to hold me?”</p><p>“More than anything, Aziraphale. I’m <i>dying</i> to get you into my arms. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m very much looking forward to sex, but if you told me Saturday night all we could do was hold each other until we fell asleep, I’d be perfectly happy. Thrilled, even.”</p><p>Aziraphale felt warm inside, blissfully happy to hear that. He said teasingly, “Well, we can certainly hold each other all you want, but I <i>am</i> rather hoping for sex.”</p><p>“You can have whatever you want. I’ll give you whatever your heart desires, angel. In anything.”</p><p>“I just want you,” Aziraphale said softly. </p><p>“I want you, too,” Crowley replied tenderly, and it felt like a <i>moment</i>. Like the words they were speaking only carried part of their real meaning. Aziraphale knew that in his case, it was true. He was in love, and desperately wanted to tell him. But not now. Not yet. He needed to be more sure. Thankfully, the doubts were growing smaller and more easy to dismiss with every moment spent with Crowley. Could this <i>really</i> be real? Could Crowley love him, too? Aziraphale was starting to believe that he could. </p><p>“I miss you,” Crowley confessed.</p><p>“I miss you, too.”</p><p>“I’m so sorry I had to cancel on our date tonight. I had planned to ask you to go to Paris with me over a romantic dinner, but…”</p><p>“It’s fine, dear. What you did was perfect. This whole evening was perfect. Very romantic.”</p><p>“I can do much better, in terms of romance. I promise.”</p><p>“You’re doing fine, darling,” Aziraphale said with a smile, then looked down at the mess he’d made. “Crowley, dear, I hate to do it, I truly do, but I need to go. I’ve made a bit of a mess.”</p><p>Crowley chuckled. “Yeah, I have, too. But it was <i>totally</i> worth it.”</p><p>“You’re right. It was.” </p><p>“Can I ring you when I get home from work tomorrow? It’ll be about this time, probably.”</p><p>“You can ring me anytime, darling. Anytime at all.”</p><p>“Good. Then I’ll talk to you tomorrow. I’ll be thinking about you until then.”</p><p>“I’ll be thinking about you, too.” </p><p>“Goodnight, angel. Sleep sweet.”</p><p>“Goodnight, Crowley.” <i>I love you.</i></p><p>He hung up the phone instead of confessing his heart and sighed to himself. It was fine. This was fine. Better than fine. Crowley was saying and doing everything right. </p><p>Aziraphale shoved the niggling doubts down and got to his feet, going to clean up and go to bed.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter is a bit shorter than most of them, but I hope you'll enjoy it anyway. &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>Saturday, 15 August</i>
</p><p>Aziraphale turned this way and that, looking at himself in the mirror. It was a <i>bit</i> of a departure from his usual kit, certainly more casual than normal, but he thought he looked alright. He’d eschewed his usual waistcoat and put on a pair of rainbow braces, but other than that, he looked much the same as his normal self in blue, rolled-up shirtsleeves and tan trousers. He wasn’t sure he was appropriately dressed, but Crowley had told him that there would be people in regular attire at Pride, too. Cognitively, Aziraphale knew that Crowley was almost certainly right, but he wouldn’t feel entirely comfortable until he saw with his own eyes. </p><p>He was a bit more nervous than he’d like to admit. Not only was he going to Pride for the first time - something he’d shied away from before - tonight, he and Crowley were going to spend the night together for the first time - as lovers. Well, he supposed if you wanted to be technical about it, they would <i>become</i> lovers tonight. Either way, Aziraphale was over the moon - and more than a little anxious. What if Crowley found him boring in bed? Aziraphale had been dumped once before for being too boring, after all, and John had specifically pointed out how mundane the sex was. Crowley had always been the type to crave excitement and adventure. What if Aziraphale was too <i>vanilla</i> for him? What would he do then, if the love of his life rejected him for being too dull?</p><p>Alternately, what if Crowley saw Aziraphale naked and was repulsed? Aziraphale hardly had the ideal physique, and he’d never been described as sexy, never in his almost forty years. He knew he was soft around the middle. What if Crowley preferred someone sexier, someone more conventionally attractive? </p><p>Even <i>worse</i> - what if Crowley <i>were</i> actually doing all of this simply to honor the pact in the hopes that he would one day fall in love with Aziraphale, and he was forced to ‘lie back and think of England’ when they made love? Oh, dear God, Aziraphale wasn’t sure he could imagine anything more mortifying. </p><p>What if--</p><p>“<i>Stop it,</i>” he said to himself in the mirror through gritted teeth, his hands balled into fists by his side. “Stop it <i>right now</i>. You’re letting your imagination run away with you and there’s no sense to it. You are going to Pride today with your <i>boyfriend</i>, you’re going to have a wonderful time, then you’re going to make love to him for the first time tonight. It’s alright to be nervous but this is ridiculous. This is a <i>happy</i> occasion. So start acting like it.”</p><p>The buzzer sounded, distracting him, and he headed out of his bedroom to answer it, his heart fluttering. He pressed the intercom: “Yes?”</p><p>“It’s me, angel. Can I come up?”</p><p>“Of course, dear.”</p><p>Aziraphale pressed the button to open the door and stepped back, rolling his shoulders and taking a minute to shove the doubts aside. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and then let a large, genuine smile spread across his face. Crowley was here. He was going to spend the day - the entire weekend - with his love. There was no room for anything but joy. </p><p>When the knock came at the door a second later, he swung it open with a smile. </p><p>Crowley stood there, smiling back at him, a duffel bag on his shoulder that made Aziraphale’s heart skip a beat with excitement. He looked much the same as he usually did, too, except instead of his usual shirt, jacket and tie, he was wearing a black t-shirt with an understated rainbow stripe across the chest from nipple to nipple. Aziraphale could see the bottom of his tattoo, a black and red snake, wrapped around his right bicep, peeking out from below the sleeve of his shirt. He looked so sexy, so incredibly <i>gorgeous</i>, that Aziraphale considered suggesting they skip Pride and stay in - that they get started on the evening’s activities <i>now</i>. But he managed to refrain. Taking Aziraphale to Pride seemed to really <i>matter</i> to Crowley, therefore it mattered to <i>him</i>. </p><p>“Hello,” he said, his smile bright. </p><p>Crowley just grinned in return, then darted forward to kiss him. “Hiya, angel. Can I come in?”</p><p>“Yes, of course,” Aziraphale said, opening the door wide and stepping out of the way. “Would you like to put your bag in the bedroom?”</p><p>Crowley gave him a roguish grin. “Are you coming with me?”</p><p>“Not if you want to actually make it to Pride,” Aziraphale flirted back. </p><p>“I think I could live with that,” Crowley said. “Missing Pride for a worthy cause, you know.”</p><p>Aziraphale tittered. “You scoundrel. In seriousness, can I take your bag?”</p><p>“I can take it. Where’s your bedroom?”</p><p>“Second door on the right.”</p><p>Crowley kissed him quickly. “Be right back.”</p><p>Aziraphale waited in his lounge until Crowley came swaggering back in, smiling. “Your bed looks comfy, angel. Lots of room.” Aziraphale could see the waggle of his eyebrows from behind the glasses. </p><p>“It’s <i>very</i> comfy, but it’s going to be a bit less roomy tonight,” Aziraphale replied, as seductively as he could. </p><p>Crowley grinned. “I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to that.”</p><p>“Me, too,” Aziraphale said, and again he was tempted to suggest they skip the whole event. So, so tempted. </p><p>Instead, he shook himself and raised his arms a little, doing a half turn. “How do I look?”</p><p>“Good enough to eat,” Crowley answered at once. </p><p>“Oh, stop,” Aziraphale said, smiling. </p><p>“No, really, you look incredible. But there’s something missing.”</p><p>Aziraphale looked down at himself, wondering what he could have forgotten. “There is?”</p><p>“Yeah, there is.”</p><p>When Aziraphale looked back up, Crowley was extending his hand between them, a sheepish smile on his face. “I told you I bought you something.”</p><p>Aziraphale stepped forward curiously, looking into Crowley’s hand to see two small, enamel, rainbow heart pins. He looked up at Crowley’s face to see his beloved looking hopeful. </p><p>“I - I thought maybe we could both wear them.” </p><p>“Crowley, they’re <i>lovely</i>.”</p><p>“Do you like it?”</p><p>“I love it, and I’ll wear it proudly. Put it on me, please.”</p><p>Crowley beamed at that, and closed the remaining distance between them to pin it to Aziraphale’s shirt, over his heart, where it could be more easily seen. When he was done, Crowley pinned his own to his shirt, just over his heart, and Aziraphale felt tears prick his eyes. It was such a small gesture, really, but it meant so terribly much. </p><p>Feeling bold - and fighting tears - Aziraphale stepped forward and put his arms around Crowley’s neck, pulling him into a hug. “Thank you,” he said into Crowley’s shoulder. “I can’t tell you what it means to me.”</p><p>“Hopefully the same as it means to me,” Crowley said, holding Aziraphale close. Aziraphale didn't know what he meant, but chose to believe the best. </p><p>He loosened the embrace after a few long moments, pulling back so he could look at Crowley, but didn’t let go. For a second, he just stood there, gazing at Crowley’s face, marveling at how lucky he was, then he smiled and gave Crowley a sweet kiss. </p><p>“Are you ready to go?”</p><p>“I am.”</p><p>“Then let’s go to Pride.”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div>“Now remember, dear,” Aziraphale was saying a short while later as the two of them made their way down the Soho pavement, hand in hand. “Tracy is very eccentric.”<p>He could <i>hear</i> Crowley’s smile, even without looking. “So you’ve said. Four times. Are you nervous, angel?”</p><p>“Maybe a bit,” he admitted. “I’m afraid she’s going to scare you away.”</p><p>Crowley pulled him to a stop and before Aziraphale could say anything Crowley was kissing him softly. Aziraphale couldn’t help but melt into it.</p><p>When the kiss broke a second later, Crowley used the hand that wasn’t holding Aziraphale’s to touch his chin. </p><p>“Angel, the forces of hell couldn’t scare me away from you. Okay? You don’t have to worry about some kooky friend of yours. It’s never gonna happen.”</p><p>“Are you sure?”</p><p>“I’m positive,” Crowley said with a reassuring smile. “Trust me. Please, sweetheart?”</p><p><i>Sweetheart.</i> Aziraphale melted into a little puddle. “Okay,” he agreed, nodding.</p><p>They started back down the pavement, and within a couple of minutes, they were at the door to Tracy’s shop. Aziraphale tried not to let his anxiety show as he opened the door, his hand still in Crowley’s. </p><p>The shop was a bit more crowded than usual, but he barely had time to glance around for Tracy before he heard her. </p><p>“Zira! Oh, you came! And you brought your young man, too, how lovely.”</p><p>Beside him, he heard Crowley snort and mutter ‘young man’ under his breath. Aziraphale squeezed his hand, and he squeezed back. </p><p>He had to let go, however, when Tracy reached them. He took both her hands into his and kissed her cheeks in their traditional greeting. </p><p>“Tracy, you look lovely.”</p><p>“Thank you, dear. And you must be Crowley,” she said, turning her attention to Crowley. </p><p>Crowley took her hand, bent over it, and kissed her knuckles. “It’s an honor to meet you, Madame Tracy. Aziraphale has told me about you, of course, but he never told me you were so radiant.”</p><p>“Oh, stop,” she said, clearly lapping it up. “Won’t you two join me for tea?”</p><p>Aziraphale glanced at Crowley. “I don’t know, we were just stopping in for a minute…”</p><p>“Nonsense, you have nowhere else you <i>have</i> to be,” Tracy said, answering her own question. “Anathema, some Earl Grey and scones to table forty two, please.”</p><p>Aziraphale glanced at Crowley, who shrugged with a near comical ‘I don’t know’ expression. He couldn’t help a smile. </p><p>“Come, sit,” Tracy was saying, and they obediently followed her to the table. </p><p>“I have to say, Crowley, Zira told me all about you, but he never told me how <i>handsome</i> you are.  And your aura is simply <i>sparkling.</i>”</p><p>Crowley just gave her a lopsided smile. “Is it, now?” he asked, sounding amused. </p><p>“Oh, yes. It’s clear you’re very happy with him.”</p><p>Aziraphale felt the urge to kick her under the table, but satisfied himself with a hard look in her direction. She was gazing admiringly at Crowley and didn’t notice. </p><p>“Am I correct, dear, in my assumption that you’re a Pisces?”</p><p>“No,” Crowley said. “I’m actually a Scorpio.”</p><p>“Oh, that was my next guess. Well, you’ll be pleased to know that Zira is a Virgo and you’re <i>very</i> compatible.”</p><p>Crowley looked highly amused. “That is good to know, but it’s not exactly new information. He and I have been best friends since we were children.”</p><p>“Of course you have, he’s told me that,” Tracy said, her eyes never leaving Crowley. “So tell me, dear, what do you do for a living?”</p><p>“Tracy,” Aziraphale said warningly. Neither of them paid him any mind.</p><p>“I’m an executive at Daemon Marketing.”</p><p>“Oh, an <i>executive</i>,” she said, sounding impressed. “How long have you been doing that?”</p><p>“I’ve been in marketing since graduating uni, so about twenty years. I’ve been in a leadership role for the last eight.” </p><p>Anathema appeared with the tea and scones, and Aziraphale could have kissed her. “Oh, good, I was famished,” he said, taking the tray from her. “Crowley, dear, you simply <i>must</i> try one of Tracy’s scones. They’re to die for.”</p><p>“Thank you, angel, I will.”</p><p>“Oh, bless, he calls you angel,” Tracy cooed, eyes still on Crowley. Aziraphale wanted to crawl under the table, but Crowley seemed cool as a cucumber. “So you grew up together, yes?”</p><p>“That’s right.”</p><p>“Are your parents living?”</p><p>“My mother is, yes. My father left the picture a long time ago.”</p><p>“Oh, I’m so sorry.”</p><p>“Don’t be. I’m not.”</p><p>“Do you have any brothers or sisters?”</p><p>Aziraphale seriously considered muzzling her.</p><p>“None that I know of.”</p><p>“Are you close with your mother?”</p><p>“I am, yes. Aziraphale and I are going to visit her tomorrow, in fact.”</p><p>“Oh, you’re going together?”</p><p>“That’s right,” Aziraphale said firmly, butting in. “Tracy, how has business been today? It seems busy.”</p><p>She hardly looked at him. “It’s been hectic, but not terrible. Now, Crowley, Aziraphale tells me you lived in New York, is that right?”</p><p>Aziraphale wanted to die, but Crowley seemed terribly amused as he took a bite of his scone. “That’s right.”</p><p>“Did you leave someone behind there? A lover, perhaps?”</p><p>“Tracy!”</p><p>“What? It’s a fair question.”</p><p>“It’s <i>rude</i> and I’m appalled at you.”</p><p>“It’s alright, angel,” Crowley said, still grinning. “No, I haven't dated anyone seriously in several years.”</p><p>“But now you <i>are</i> dating seriously?”</p><p>“Tracy!”</p><p>“I am,” Crowley confirmed. “Very serious, indeed.”</p><p>“Good. I’m glad to hear it. You’re going to treat my Zira like the prince he is, aren’t you?”</p><p>Aziraphale buried his face in his hands. “Just shoot me,” he moaned. </p><p>“I am,” Crowley confirmed. “You have my word.”</p><p>“Very good. May I ask you something?”</p><p>“Something <i>else</i>?” Aziraphale groaned. </p><p>“Why do you wear your sunglasses indoors?”</p><p>“I have very unusually colored eyes. They’re almost yellow.”</p><p>“Oh, I’d like to see.”</p><p>“Tracy!”</p><p>“Alright, alright, I’ll stop.”</p><p>“Thank the Lord for that.”</p><p>“Might I ask you a personal question, Crowley?”</p><p>“For heaven’s sake, Tracy,” Aziraphale complained. </p><p>“Go ahead,” Crowley said with a smile. </p><p>“I was wondering if I might have your date and time of birth? I’d like to run a natal chart on you and Zira.”</p><p>Aziraphale was actively praying for an intervention when he got what he’d asked for - Anathema came to the table. </p><p>“Madame Tracy, I’m sorry to interrupt, but I need your help.”</p><p>“Oh, yes. I’ll be right there, Anathema.”</p><p>Aziraphale sent up another prayer - this one of thanksgiving - as Tracy got to her feet. He and Crowley stood politely, and Tracy extended her hand to Crowley. </p><p>“Crowley, it was my very great pleasure to meet you.”</p><p>“The pleasure was all mine. I’m only sorry our time has been cut short.”</p><p>“Well, we’ll just have to have Zira bring you back sometime so I can get to know you better, won’t we?”</p><p>“I <i>hardly</i> think so,” Aziraphale huffed, earning a smile from Crowley and a sharp look from Tracy.</p><p>“Madame Tracy…” Anathema said urgently. </p><p>“Yes, yes. I’m coming, dear. Crowley, you’ll take care of Zira, won’t you?”</p><p>“It’ll be my honor.”</p><p>“Zira, I’ll see you on Thursday.”</p><p>“Oh, yes. We have some talking to do,” Aziraphale said warningly. </p><p>She just smiled unrepentantly. “You two finish your tea and scones, then go enjoy Pride. It’s on the house. Tra!” she said, then in a swirl of rainbow fabric, she was gone. </p><p>Aziraphale sat down with a groan, his cheeks flaming like anything. “I cannot <i>believe</i> she did that. I’m so sorry, Crowley. I’m absolutely mortified.”</p><p>Crowley chuckled. “I thought she was charming.”</p><p>“You couldn’t possibly.”</p><p>“I really do. And to be honest, I’m <i>glad</i> she gave me the third degree. I'm very pleased to know that your friends care about you that much and are looking out for you.”</p><p>“You’re not furious?”</p><p>“Not even a little bit. And I don’t want you to scold her on Thursday, either. Promise me.”</p><p>“I make no promises. She deserves a tongue lashing.”</p><p>“Nah. She’s a sweet old lady. I would ask you to pass along my compliments on the scones, though. I didn’t get a chance to mention, but they really are delicious. Now, finish up so we can get back out there. The day is young and we have a lot to see.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I had fun writing this whole fic. Every word of it was a delight. But I gave myself the giggles writing the scene between Tracy, Crowley and Aziraphale. Poor thing. I hope you guys don't suffer too badly from second hand embarassment. </p><p>Thank you for all your love and support on this story!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I found a warning sign for the next two chapters:</p>
<p>
  
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been a wonderful few hours, Crowley thought. He’d enjoyed himself immensely and thought Aziraphale had, too. But he’d been actively alert for signs of fatigue from Aziraphale, and as soon as he spotted some, near tea time, he gently suggested they leave. </p>
<p>“Are you sure?” Aziraphale asked, and despite the question, Crowley could tell he was relieved. </p>
<p>“I’m sure, angel. Let’s go before we get too tired.”</p>
<p>Aziraphale’s cheeks pinkened and Crowley realized what he’d said. “That’s not what I meant,” he started, hoping to clarify.</p>
<p>“It’s okay,” Aziraphale replied. “I know what you meant.”</p>
<p>Crowley wasn’t sure he did, but didn’t argue. </p>
<p>Hand in hand, they left the park to begin the walk back to Aziraphale’s flat. “Are you hungry?” Crowley asked when the crowds started to thin out a little. </p>
<p>“I could eat.”</p>
<p>“Would you like to stop somewhere on the way back to yours? Anywhere you’d like.”</p>
<p>Aziraphale smiled softly. “I think I’d like to order in tonight, if it’s alright with you.”</p>
<p>Crowley squeezed his hand. “Then that’s what we’ll do. I saw that Spaceballs is on Netflix - would you like to watch it with me?”</p>
<p>His angel gave him a look. “I thought we had <i>other</i> plans for tonight.”</p>
<p>“My only plan is to spend the evening and then the night with you. I don’t care what we actually do, I just want to be with you.”</p>
<p>“You don’t <i>care</i> what we do?”</p>
<p>“Nope. I know you’re an introvert and social situations can be taxing for you, so I’m making no demands. I’ll only humbly request that you let me hold you.”</p>
<p>Aziraphale seemed to be considering this, his face screwed up in thought. “You’re too sweet,” he finally said, although he wasn’t looking at Crowley. </p>
<p>“Oi. There’s no need for name calling. You take that back.” Aziraphale gave a tired smile and Crowley raised his hand to kiss it. “I’m just trying to be a good boyfriend. So go on, tell me. What would <i>you</i> like to do tonight?”</p>
<p>“I think I’d like to go home, order some dinner, and watch a film with you. I’d like to spend the evening together, like we planned.”</p>
<p>“Then that’s what we’ll do.”</p>
<p>“And then, when it’s time for bed and I’ve had a little while to decompress, I’d like for you and I to go to bed together.”</p>
<p>“I want that, too.”</p>
<p>“And you’ll make love to me?” he asked in a small voice Crowley didn’t understand fully. </p>
<p>“Only if you feel up to it.”</p>
<p>“I do. I will.”</p>
<p>“Alright. Let’s just see how you feel when the time comes. We have the rest of our lives, angel. There’s no rush.”</p>
<p>Aziraphale’s voice was strained. “Do you - do you still <i>want</i> to make love to me?”</p>
<p>“God, yes,” Crowley said emphatically. “More than I can tell you. But I want our first time to be everything it <i>can</i> be, and if you’re low on spoons, it won’t be good for either of us.”</p>
<p>“Let me eat and we’ll watch a funny movie. I feel sure my spoons will be sufficient after that.”</p>
<p>“Can I hold you during the movie? Please?”</p>
<p>Aziraphale flushed. “If you’d like.”</p>
<p>“I’d love it, angel. It’s all I want in the world.”</p>
<p>“Me too, dear.”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div>Crowley had never been the spiritual sort. He’d never spent much time in church and didn't see much of a point communing with a God he wasn’t sure he believed in. But right now, here, in this moment, he was more than willing - even happy - to send up a little prayer of thanksgiving for the ineffable blessing he’d been given in the form of Aziraphale.<p>He was propped in the corner of Aziraphale’s couch, socked feet kicked up on the coffee table, narrowly avoiding the discarded and half empty cartons of chinese food, the empty wine bottle, and the two glasses they’d been drinking out of but had now abandoned. Aziraphale was snuggled securely into his side and had been for the last twenty minutes, nuzzled up under Crowley’s arm, his head on Crowley’s shoulder. For his part, Crowley had an arm draped around Aziraphale, his fingertips tracing up and down the angel’s arm. His other hand was free at the moment, but he was seriously considering reaching down to play with Aziraphale’s hand that was resting on his belly. </p>
<p>“<i>FUCK!</i>” Dark Helmet said on screen. “Even in the <i>future</i> nothing works!”</p>
<p>Aziraphale chuckled and Crowley grinned. Not because of the film, although it was funny, but because anything that brought Aziraphale joy also brought him joy. </p>
<p>Crowley hadn’t cuddled in years upon years. It had never really appealed to him, and he didn’t see himself as the cuddling type. But he’d never had the opportunity to snuggle with <i>Aziraphale</i>. Now that he did, well, he never wanted to do anything else. If he had his druthers, he’d live in this moment forever and ever. And if he died right now, he’d go out with a smile on his face. He’d waited the last twenty-some years for this, had fantasized endlessly about holding Aziraphale, and now that this moment was here, he didn't intend to take a single second for granted. </p>
<p>The film ended, and without disturbing Aziraphale, Crowley picked up the roku remote and aimed it at the telly, stopping the film. He was pleased that Aziraphale didn’t move. </p>
<p>“Comfy, angel?”</p>
<p>“Oh, yes. You’re much more cozy than you appear to be.”</p>
<p>Crowley chuckled and pressed a kiss to his head, setting the remote on the side table and giving into the impulse to play with Aziraphale’s fingers. They were quiet for a few minutes, and Crowley couldn’t stop his soft smile. His life was perfect, and he was the happiest man in the world. </p>
<p>“So what did you think of Pride?” he asked quietly a little later. </p>
<p>“Oh, it was very nice.”</p>
<p>“You can tell me the truth, Aziraphale.”</p>
<p>He felt Aziraphale’s cheek tighten into a smile on his shoulder. “It really <i>was</i> fun. Just a bit overwhelming for someone like me. I’d like to go back next year.”</p>
<p>Crowley’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “You would?”</p>
<p>“I think so. I feel like I owe it to all the LGBT people who were repressed for centuries - and even punished or killed for their sexuality - I owe it to them to celebrate my freedom.”</p>
<p>“I’ve never thought of it like that,” Crowley admitted, still playing gently with his fingers, pleased that Aziraphale was gently playing back. “That’s a good point.”</p>
<p>“I had Oscar Wilde on my mind a lot today as we walked around Pride. He spent two years serving hard labor because of his sexuality. It almost killed him. The least I can do is publicly show my gratitude for this liberty.” </p>
<p>Corwley gave a quirked smile. “Oscar Wilde, eh? All these years and he’s still your favorite.”</p>
<p>“Well, old crushes die hard, and he <i>was</i> my first love as a teen… speaking from a literary standpoint.”</p>
<p>“And A.A. Milne from your childhood.”</p>
<p>“Correct.”</p>
<p>“Do you have any Oscar Wilde works? Or Milne?” Crowley asked leadingly. </p>
<p>“I have all their works.”</p>
<p>“I mean as a first edition or whatever.”</p>
<p>“Oh. I have ‘Now We Are Six’ as a first edition, but not any others by Milne. And none of Wilde’s works. I’m afraid that’s my great white whale.”</p>
<p>Crowley made a little mental note and smiled to himself where Aziraphale couldn’t see. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry you didn’t really enjoy yourself today.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I did. Please don’t think I didn’t, I truly did. You were right, there is a definite sense of community. I felt a kinship with every person I saw in rainbow attire, like we all had the same secret.”</p>
<p>“We all do. Or, at least, we did. Now, though, we get to live out loud.”</p>
<p>“That’s a good way to put it. We get to live out loud. I like that.”</p>
<p>It sprung to Crowley’s lips to profess his love, but he bit it back. Aziraphale’s birthday was in a little less than two weeks. He could wait. But oh, how he wanted to say those words aloud. </p>
<p>“Thank you for today,” Aziraphale said. “I never would have gotten up the gumption to go if you hadn’t taken me.” </p>
<p>“You’re welcome, angel. Taking you anywhere is nothing but a pleasure and an honor.”</p>
<p>They lapsed back into silence, and Aziraphale’s breaths started getting slower, more rhythmic. Crowley was <i>thrilled</i> that Aziraphale was so at peace he could fall asleep on him. Truly, nothing had ever made him happier. </p>
<p>He just sat there for a while, letting Aziraphale doze on him, soaking up the beauty of the moment. When Aziraphale gave a soft snore, Crowley smiled and kissed the crown of his head, waking him gently. </p>
<p>“Oh, dear, did I fall asleep? I’m so sorry…”</p>
<p>“Don’t be, angel. But we should get you to bed.”</p>
<p>“Yes, I do think we should retire now.”</p>
<p>They got up from the couch and Crowley was charmed to see little wrinkles in the side of Aziraphale’s face from where it had been laying on his chest. He helped Aziraphale gather their trash and followed him to the kitchen to throw it all away, then followed Aziraphale to the bedroom. </p>
<p>Once they were there, Crowley grabbed his bag. “Is this the ensuite?” he asked, pointing towards a door off of Aziraphale’s bedroom. </p>
<p>“Yes, right through there. Make yourself at home, please.”</p>
<p>Crowley kissed him sweetly. “You get into your pyjamas and climb in bed. I’ll be right back.” Then he turned and went into the bathroom and closed the door. </p>
<p>Once he was alone, he allowed himself a huge smile that would have been out of place in front of Aziraphale. Here it was, the moment he’d been waiting for since before uni. He was about to <i>sleep</i> with Aziraphale again, for the first time in two decades. It seemed they weren’t going to be having sex, but Crowley didn’t care. He just wanted to get Aziraphale into his arms. That was all he was worried about. </p>
<p>With rapid motions, he changed into the t-shirt and pyjama trousers he’d brought just in case something like this happened, then brushed his teeth and took a moment to look in the mirror at himself. He couldn’t help his ridiculous smile. “You’re going to <i>sleep</i> with <i>Aziraphale</i>,” he said in a low voice that hopefully wouldn’t be overheard. “Crowley, you lucky bastard.”</p>
<p>He toned down his smile a bit, shut off the light, and opened the door to Aziraphale’s bedroom, expecting to find his angel buttoned up in his pyjamas, tucked into bed. When he found instead stole his breath. </p>
<p>Aziraphale was standing at the foot of the bed, facing Crowley, wearing only his tartan boxers. Crowley felt his eyes get wide as he took him in. He looked even better than Crowley had imagined, soft and strong and <i>sexy</i>. Crowley’s eyes were drawn to the pelt of white-blond hair on his chest, his dusky pink nipples, and the trail of darker blond hair that ran from his navel down into his underwear. When he let his gaze go <i>there</i>, he saw that Aziraphale was hard and tenting his boxers. Crowley gulped audibly, his own cock stiffening at once, independent of his will. </p>
<p>“Ngk,” he said, quite intelligently.</p>
<p>“I, um, I think my little nap rejuvenated me a bit,” Aziraphale said, and Crowley’s eyes were drawn to his face. He looked anxious, shy, his eyes darting around the room. </p>
<p>“Angel…”</p>
<p>Aziraphale looked at him then. “I… I thought we might, if you were interested, we might have sex.”</p>
<p>Crowley’s voice was strained. “Angel, are you <i>sure</i> that’s what you want tonight?”</p>
<p>A flicker of hurt flashed across his sweet face. “You don’t want to?”</p>
<p>“Yes, fuck, God, I want to. <i>Yes</i>. But only if you’re ready. If you feel even one shred of hesitation, I want us to get in that bed and go directly to sleep.”</p>
<p>Aziraphale shook his head. “I don’t want that. I want you. Please.”</p>
<p>Crowley was no fool, and wasn’t about to delay another second. He crossed the floor in two long strides and pulled Aziraphale into his arms, kissing him greedily, almost triumphantly. Aziraphale kissed him back, his arms going around Crowley and his fingers digging into Crowley’s back, clutching him tight while their tongues battled. Crowley pulled him flush, as close as he could get him, and his body sang with the contact. </p>
<p>He broke the kiss when the need for oxygen became too great and started laying kisses along Aziraphale’s jaw, then his ear, then his neck. His hands were gripping the angel’s arse, his fingers flexed there, holding on tight, their cocks bumping against each other. </p>
<p>“Take me to bed,” Aziraphale breathed into Crowley’s ear, and Crowley’s eyes rolled back in his head. He released Aziraphale’s neck, pleased to see that he’d left a faint mark, then guided Aziraphale to sit on the bed. When Aziraphale sat, it broke the embrace, and Crowley paused only long enough to whip his t-shirt over his head before he attacked Aziraphale’s mouth again, encouraging him to lay back onto the bed. Aziraphale’s arms wound around him, holding him close, and Crowley propped himself up over Aziraphale on his elbows, leaving as little space between them as he could, eager for all the skin to skin contact he could get. Unable to help himself, he rolled his hips, grinding his cock against Aziraphale’s, and oh <i>fuck</i> the friction felt so good. He needed more of that. <i>Now.</i></p>
<p>The next thing he was aware of was Aziraphale struggling with his pyjama trousers, trying to get them off. Crowley raised up long enough to shove them down to his knees, then for good measure, pulled Aziraphale’s boxers down, too, exposing his cock. His heart nearly stopped when he saw it - it simply <i>had</i> to be the most perfect cock ever made. It was tall and thick and the head was flushed with a shining bead of moisture at the tip, and Crowley felt himself salivate. He wanted to taste that cock. He <i>needed</i> to taste him. </p>
<p>“Scoot up on the bed,” he told Aziraphale in a voice rough with need. “Head to the pillows.” </p>
<p>Aziraphale did it, his eyes locked on Crowley. Crowley kicked off his pyjama trousers so they were both nude, then crawled over him, his eyes blazing. He didn’t pause until he reached Aziraphale’s mouth and kissed him. The kiss was messy, needy, and barely contained. When he broke it, he looked into Aziraphale’s sea blue eyes. </p>
<p>“I want to suck your cock, angel. Please, please let me.”</p>
<p>Aziraphale nodded, eyes wide, and Crowley kissed him again in gratitude. He didn’t stay there long, though, before he broke the kiss and started trailing kisses down his neck, along his collarbones, and across his chest. Aziraphale’s muscles jumped under his kisses and he sucked in ragged breaths. Crowley was delighted. He took a minute to swirl his tongue around each nipple, making them stiffen, loving the way Aziraphale was so responsive to him, then started working his way lower, slowly but surely, dragging his tongue down that trail of hair. Aziraphale’s cock jutted up proudly from a thatch of golden curls, and Crowley took just a moment to treasure the sight. </p>
<p>“You’re so fucking beautiful, angel,” he marveled, his voice hushed and awed. Reverent.</p>
<p>“I - I am?”</p>
<p>“Fuck, yes. So goddamn sexy. I want you so much. Can I touch you?”</p>
<p>“Please.”</p>
<p>Carefully, tentatively, he reached out to touch Aziraphale’s cock. It jumped under his touch, and Aziraphale gasped. Crowley glanced up. “Is that alright?”</p>
<p>“Please, Crowley. Please touch me.”</p>
<p>“Will you talk to me?”</p>
<p>“Whatever you want. Just <i>please</i>.”</p>
<p>Gently, Crowley wrapped his hand around Aziraphale’s prick and started to stroke it. It was hard, so hard, and yet so soft, like velvet over steel, and he was amazed that Aziraphale was like that <i>for him.</i> Christ, he really was the luckiest bastard that had ever lived. </p>
<p>When he just couldn’t stand it another second, he darted his tongue out to catch the bead of moisture at the tip of his cock, closing his eyes and letting the flavor explode across his tongue. Aziraphale tasted better than he had ever imagined, and Crowley hadn’t even tasted him fully yet. He glanced up to see that Aziraphale was watching him intently, the pupils in his blue eyes blown wide with lust, and with his own yellow eyes locked on Aziraphale’s, Crowley opened his mouth and took the head of Aziraphale’s cock in. </p>
<p>Aziraphale let out a ragged moan, and Crowley had only a glimpse of Aziraphale’s eyes rolling back before he closed his own eyes, focusing all his attention on Aziraphale’s prick. His mouth was stretched pleasantly, just the way he liked it, and again, he clenched with desire when he thought of that cock filling him. Slowly, he slid it deeper into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the head, lapping up all the taste. He used his hand to stroke the part his mouth didn’t cover, and raised and lowered his head in time with his hand, building speed. </p>
<p>“Oh, Crowley… Crowley…”</p>
<p>He opened his eyes to see Aziraphale with <i>his</i> eyes closed, his head rocked back on the pillow. His face was contorted in pleasure, and Crowley wanted to see his face when he came. Soon. He had no intention of stopping until Aziraphale came in his mouth. </p>
<p>He sped up the motions of his head and hand, fucking Aziraphale faster, sucking harder. His spare hand fondled Aziraphale’s bollocks and stroked his perineum.</p>
<p>“Crowley, my darling, your mouth feels so good…”</p>
<p>He was glad to hear that, but his goal was to make Aziraphale lose his mind completely, to push him beyond coherent speech. So he took Aziraphale a little deeper. </p>
<p>“Oh, oh, <i>Crowley.</i> Yes. More, please. Ooh, you’re beautiful like this…”</p>
<p>Crowley looked up to see Aziraphale gazing down at him again, his blue eyes nearly black. His mouth was open to facilitate his harsh breaths, and his chest was rising and falling rapidly. His hands seemed lost, clenching and releasing rhythmically beside his body, and Crowley wanted to feel them in his hair. So he reached up and grabbed one of Aziraphale’s hands, putting it on his head in invitation without breaking his rhythm. </p>
<p>“Are you sure, dear?” Aziraphale asked, his voice rough. </p>
<p>He gave a muffled “mhm”, his eyes locked on Aziraphale’s. <i>Do it,</i> he thought as hard as he could. <i>Please. Use me.</i></p>
<p>Aziraphale fisted the hand in Crowley’s hair, not hard enough to hurt, but hard enough to spike Crowley’s pulse with excitement. The second hand joined the first with Crowley’s encouragement, and once he was satisfied, he sped up his motions. </p>
<p>“Oh, Crowley, nothing has ever felt better to me than this. Your mouth… it’s simply heaven. Oh, my darling, I can’t wait to return the favor. Will you let me?”</p>
<p>“Mhm,” Crowley said, then he removed his hand from Aziraphale’s cock and took him deeper into his throat. </p>
<p>Aziraphale made an utterly <i>filthy</i> sound, needy and desperate, and Crowley was pleased. He bobbed on him and Aziraphale simultaneously thrust upwards, the head of his cock hitting the back of Crowley’s throat.</p>
<p>“The <i>sounds</i> you’re making are so erotic, Crowley. So incredibly sexy…”</p>
<p>That was good information, and Crowley set about being louder, slurping more and making more garbled sounds in his throat. He was rewarded with a ragged moan and the feeling of Aziraphale’s hands tightening in his hair. His own cock was throbbing and he debated about touching himself, but ultimately decided to focus all his energy on making this the best blowjob he’d ever given. To that end, he used his hands to grip and massage Aziraphale’s luscious thighs. He wanted to fuck them. Soon. </p>
<p>“Crowley, my darling,” Aziraphale said, sounding short of breath. “I think you’d better stop. I’m going to come soon.”</p>
<p>He pulled off him for a moment, replacing his mouth with his hand and pumping him hard and fast. “Come for me, angel. I want you to.”</p>
<p>“But—”</p>
<p>“In my mouth. Please. So I can taste you.”</p>
<p>Aziraphale nodded, wide eyed. “Okay.”</p>
<p>Crowley smiled at him, then went back to sucking him as hard as he could, deep in his throat. Aziraphale hissed a breath. </p>
<p>“Oh, my darling… I’m getting so close… are you ready?”</p>
<p>He made a garbled sound in his throat that he hoped Aziraphale would know was affirmative. He was <i>dying</i> for the taste of Aziraphale’s come, and sucked harder, deeper.</p>
<p>“Crowley… Crowley… Here I come! Ah! Ah!”</p>
<p>Aziraphale’s body tensed up beneath him and he erupted into Crowley’s mouth, across his tongue, while Crowley pumped him for all he was worth. Aziraphale moaned and swore and writhed on the bed, and Crowley milked him for every drop he could get until Aziraphale used his hands in Crowley’s hair to start pushing him away. </p>
<p>“Please, dear, I can’t take anymore…”</p>
<p>Crowley stopped obediently, swallowing every drop of his heavenly essence with a small, happy sound. Aziraphale collapsed back onto the bed, panting for breath, and Crowley watched him with a satisfied smile. <i>He’d</i> done that. Him. Anthony Crowley had made Aziraphale feel that good. He felt like a goddamn hero. </p>
<p>Immensely proud of himself, he started kissing his way back up Aziraphale’s body, visiting all the places he’d kissed on his descent, smiling to himself when Aziraphale shuddered. When he reached the angel’s collarbones, he pressed one soft kiss to his slack mouth. </p>
<p>“Was that good, angel?”</p>
<p>Aziraphale let out a huff of a laugh, still out of breath with his eyes hooded, but he nodded. “My dear, there are no words for how good that was.”</p>
<p>Crowley grinned and curled up beside him, draping one arm across his heaving chest. “Good. I’m glad to hear it.” </p>
<p>“Just… give me a moment to recover and I’ll return the favor.”</p>
<p>“Not tonight,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>“But Crowley—”</p>
<p>“We have the rest of our lives, angel. I’m in no hurry.”</p>
<p>Aziraphale just looked at him, his eyes narrowed. “Did you come?”</p>
<p>“No, and I’m fine with that. Please, just let me hold you tonight, Aziraphale. That’s all I want. I just want to sleep with you.”</p>
<p>Aziraphale was quiet a moment. Then, in a tentative voice, he asked, “Are you sure?”</p>
<p>“I’m so sure, angel.”</p>
<p>“Can - can I kiss you?”</p>
<p>Crowley grinned. “You can kiss me all you like. Turn over here.”</p>
<p>Aziraphale turned to face him, and they took a minute to situate their bodies and the covers. When they were done, they were wrapped securely in each other’s arms, tucked under the duvet with their legs tangled, giving each other soft, sweet kisses.</p>
<p>“Thank you,” Crowley breathed.</p>
<p>“For what?”</p>
<p>“For this. For you. For everything. I’m just so grateful.” <i>And I love you.</i></p>
<p>“I’m grateful too, dear.”</p>
<p>They talked a little more, hushed voices between them, sharing secrets, and both men eventually relaxed. Aziraphale’s breathing evened out, and just as he had when they were children, Crowley waited until he was sure Aziraphale was asleep, watching over his dreams. When Aziraphale gave a soft snore, Crowley pressed a tiny kiss to his brow and whispered the biggest secret of all: “I love you, angel.”</p>
<p>Aziraphale snored a bit louder and Crowley drifted off to sleep with a smile.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you <i>so much</i> for all your love and support on this fic. I loved every single moment of writing this story (except for chapter 2), and the knowledge that others love it, too, makes my heart smile. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for every hit, kudo, and especially every comment. They tell me that I've done my job and have entertained you.</p><p>Enjoy this sleepy morning sex, as a treat!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>Sunday, 16 August</i>
</p><p>Aziraphale woke up slowly, swimming up from the deep recesses of sleep a little at a time, then all at once when he realized he was naked. And not only was he naked, he was spooned up in someone’s arms. It took a second before he got his bearings, but when he did, he smiled. </p><p><i>Crowley</i> was holding him. He was wrapped up in <i>Crowley’s</i> arms, his back to <i>Crowley’s</i> belly. He could feel <i>Crowley’s</i> soft breath on his shoulders, and the warmth of <i>Crowley’s</i> skin was seeping into his. Crowley had one arm under Aziraphale’s neck, serving as a pillow, and the other was draped casually over Aziraphale’s side. He’d slept with <i>Crowley</i> last night, and now, here he was in the arms of his beloved. Oh, it was almost too much to believe. </p><p>Closing his eyes, he let himself remember the night before. He’d been so nervous when they’d come to his bedroom, but still utterly determined to make love to Crowley. It had been an impulse to strip until he was nearly naked and wait for Crowley to emerge, and his heart had been in his throat. He’d never been so anxious as he’d been as he stood there waiting. He’d been terrified of rejection, and for a few, heartstopping moments after Crowley came out, it had seemed he <i>would</i> be rejected. But then Crowley had kissed him, taken him to bed, and they’d had sex. </p><p>But part of Aziraphale was confused and <i>did</i> feel rejected. Honestly, Crowley was giving out such mixed signals. Aziraphale had been ready and eager to have more sex last night, but Crowley had refused. Why? What possible reason could he have? Why hadn’t he wanted his own orgasm, when Aziraphale had been so hoping to give him one? All sorts of horrible reasons Crowley had turned him down raced through his mind, each one more depressing than the last. He felt himself spiraling lower, until tears pricked his eyes. </p><p><i>Stop it</i>, he shouted at himself mentally. <i>You had a beautiful night making love to the man of your dreams, and this is how you celebrate</i>? There could be any number of reasons why Crowley hadn’t wanted to have more sex last night. Perhaps he was tired. Perhaps he was nervous. Perhaps he didn’t want to push Aziraphale. Any one of them were plausible. It didn’t always have to be the doomsday option. </p><p>Pushing aside the doubts, Aziraphale focused on the wonderful moments from last night. He remembered the way Crowley's kisses had felt all over his body, he remembered the <i>heat</i> in his eyes when he’d looked up as he’d been sucking him off. He remembered the way Crowley’s mouth had felt, better than anything he’d ever known. And he remembered the intensity of his orgasm - and the intensity of the way Crowley had made him feel. </p><p>Aziraphale closed his eyes and concentrated on remembering <i>this</i> moment, here and now. This, he felt sure, was as close to heaven as he’d ever be. He’d longed for this for more than twenty years, and now it was a reality. Crowley was <i>his</i>. They were together. He thought his heart may burst with joy. </p><p>Crowley stirred behind him, moving in an almost serpentine way, sliding on the sheets and against Aziraphale’s body. He stretched a little, his body going rigid, and made a little noise when he relaxed again. Aziraphale smiled when he felt kisses against his shoulder. </p><p>“Good morning, angel,” he said between slow, soft kisses. </p><p>“Good morning to you.”</p><p>Slowly, sleepily, the hand that was draped across his body reached for Aziraphale’s hand, and he threaded their fingers. Aziraphale could feel Crowley’s lips curl into a smile against his skin. </p><p>“You and I have never woken up like this before.”</p><p>Aziraphale tittered. “No, we certainly haven’t.”</p><p>“I like it. I want to wake up like this every day.”</p><p>He closed his eyes and sent up a little prayer. “Me, too, dear.”</p><p>Crowley moved his body again, and Aziraphale was suddenly aware of his cock pressing into the crease of his bum. Feeling bold, he pushed himself back, grinding against him. </p><p>“Happy to see me?” he teased. </p><p>Crowley moaned a little and held Aziraphale’s hand tighter, rolling his hips forward to grind against his arse. “Angel, you have <i>no</i> idea.”</p><p>“I think I do,” he replied. His own cock was diamond hard, and had been since he’d realized he was in Crowley’s arms. </p><p>Crowley was back to pressing little, slow kisses to his shoulder. “Whatever should we do?” he asked in a low growl. </p><p>“Oh, I have lots of ideas. All of them filthy.”</p><p>“What do you know, I do, too,” Crowley said, thrusting lightly. Aziraphale rolled his hips to meet him in his motions, to hopefully make it better for him. Crowley’s kisses were more sucking now, and he hoped very much that Crowley would mark him. </p><p>“Angel?”</p><p>“Yes, my darling?”</p><p>“Can I fuck your thighs?”</p><p>He was surprised. “You want to?”</p><p>“Fuck yes. I love your thighs. They’re so thick and strong and <i>perfect</i>. Can I please? Just for a little while.” </p><p>“Of course you can, darling. You can fuck me any way you like. I’m all yours.”</p><p>Crowley groaned and bit gently on Aziraphale’s shoulder, and Aziraphale felt himself grow impossibly harder. Crowley released his hand and withdrew it, reaching between them to guide himself between Aziraphale’s legs. Aziraphale parted his thighs a bit accommodatingly, then closed them when Crowley was buried between them. The head of his cock pressed against Aziraphale’s perineum, nudging his bollocks, and he closed his eyes when Crowley began to move - slowly at first. Gently. Aziraphale had never done this before and had thought he knew what to expect, but he hadn’t expected it to feel <i>this</i> good. Heavens. </p><p>His lover was back to pressing sucking kisses against his shoulder and neck. He brought his hand back around and Aziraphale gripped it, threading their fingers again. </p><p>“Does that feel good, angel?” he asked as he thrusted at a slow, steady rhythm. </p><p>Aziraphale nodded. “It does. Please don’t stop.”</p><p>Crowley attached his mouth to Aziraphale’s neck. “It feels good to me, too. I don’t want to stop. Not yet. Soon, but not yet.”</p><p>“What are you going to do when you stop?</p><p>Crowley was thrusting a little harder, a little faster, and nibbling Aziraphale’s shoulder, spiking his desire. “Well, that depends.”</p><p>“On what?”</p><p>“On you. On what you want.”</p><p>“I want <i>you</i>,” Aziraphale whined. </p><p>“I want you, too, angel. <i>How</i> do you want me? You can have anything you want. I’ll do anything for you.”</p><p>Aziraphale closed his eyes. “I - I want you to make love to me.” </p><p>Crowley took a break from sucking on his neck. “You do?” he asked lazily. </p><p>“I do. I want you to <i>fuck</i> me, Crowley.”</p><p>He made a little noise between a grunt and a moan and bit down on Aziraphale’s shoulder. “<i>Fuck</i>, angel…”</p><p>“Is that alright?”</p><p>“God, yes, it’s alright. Do you have lube?”</p><p>Aziraphale nodded quickly. “I do.”</p><p>Crowley fucked his thighs at a leisurely pace for a few more moments. Aziraphale was getting more and more turned on as the seconds ticked by, and contemplated releasing Crowley’s hand so he could stroke himself. Crowley’s breaths were harsh against his back, and his hand was clenched tight with Aziraphale’s. </p><p>Suddenly, Crowley pressed one last kiss to Aziraphale’s shoulder and drew back from him. “Get the lube. Please.”</p><p>Aziraphale hastened to obey, lengthening his body to open the drawer and withdraw the lubricant. Once he had it, he rolled back over onto his back, intending to hand it to Crowley, but found himself being quite suddenly and thoroughly kissed. Crowley had propped himself over Aziraphale, and Aziraphale surrendered to the kiss at once, without a second thought. He barely noticed when Crowley took the lube from his limp hand, and he was dazed when Crowley broke the kiss.</p><p>“Before we do this, is there anything we need to talk about?”</p><p>Aziraphale blinked up at him stupidly. “I - I don’t think so?”</p><p>“Are you sure this is what you want?”</p><p>He reached out and wrapped his hand around Crowley’s fat prick, pumping it slowly and earning a hissed breath. </p><p>“To feel this inside me? Yes. That’s what I want.”</p><p>Crowley kissed him again, quickly. “Fuck, your hand feels so good, angel. Okay. Okay. How do you want to do this?”</p><p>Aziraphale used his free hand to pull Crowley down into a languid kiss, and kept him there when the kiss broke. </p><p>“You can have me any way you want me, Crowley. I’m all yours, and I'll do anything you want.”</p><p>“I want to see you. I want to watch your face while I fuck you this time.”</p><p>Aziraphale grinned wickedly. “So do you want me here or on top of you?”</p><p>Crowley’s eyes were <i>blazing</i>. “I want you just like this. Please. But will you ride me some other time?”</p><p>“Oh, absolutely.”</p><p>Crowley kissed him again, devouring his mouth, and Aziraphale kept pumping him, loving the way Crowey was thrusting slightly into his hand. </p><p>“I want you to talk to me while I do this. Tell me what you like, what feels good, what you want more of. I want to know what you’re thinking.”</p><p>Aziraphale smiled. “You want me to talk dirty to you? I can do that.”</p><p>Crowley swore under his breath. “Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that. But I also want you to tell me if you <i>don’t</i> like something. Tell me right away. Promise me.”</p><p>“I promise. But I also promise I’m going to <i>love</i> everything you do to me.”</p><p>“Christ, I hope so. Spread your legs a little.”</p><p>Aziraphale did so at once, his hand still pumping Crowley’s cock, his heart racing. Crowley lubed up his fingers and slid them between Aziraphale’s legs, parting his cheeks with slick fingers as he sought out Aziraphale’s hole and began to circle it. Aziraphale made a little nose of pleasure, closing his eyes.</p><p>“That good, angel?” Crowley asked, leaning over to press kisses to his neck again. </p><p>“More,” Aziraphale breathed. </p><p>Crowley obliged, sucking hard on Aziraphale’s neck, pressing and massaging against his entrance. Aziraphale made a conscious decision to relax, and within a minute, Crowley had eased a finger inside. Aziraphale groaned at the pleasant intrusion while Crowley slid the finger in and out, matching the rhythm at which Aziraphale was stroking Crowley’s cock. </p><p>“Oh, Crowley, it feels so good. I can’t wait for more.”</p><p>“You want more?”</p><p>“Yes, <i>please</i>.”</p><p>“Anything you want, angel.”</p><p>Crowley carefully, gently added a second finger, and Aziraphale swore under his breath. </p><p>“Yes, Crowley. Oh, <i>yes.</i>”</p><p>Crowley continued to press sucking kisses all over Aziraphale’s neck while he slid his fingers in and out slowly, scissoring them. “Does it feel good, sweetheart?”</p><p>“It feels <i>so</i> good…”</p><p>“Do you want me to prepare you more, or are you ready for me to fuck you?”</p><p>“Oh, please, please give me your cock, dear. I want it, <i>please</i>.”</p><p>Crowley responded by kissing him, hard and messy and needy, while pulling himself out of Aziraphale’s grip. He didn’t break the kiss when he repositioned himself between Aziraphale’s legs, still fucking him with his fingers. Aziraphale wrapped his arms around Crowley and kept him as close as he could, lost in the sensations, until Crowley broke the kiss, panting. </p><p>“God, I want you, Aziraphale. I’ve never wanted <i>anything</i> the way I want you. I don’t think I can wait another minute. Are you ready?”</p><p>Aziraphale nodded. “I’m so ready, darling. Please… please…”</p><p>Crowley slid his fingers out of Aziraphale, making him whimper, and Aziraphale watched carefully as Crowley quickly grabbed the lube and slicked up his cock. The leftover lube he smeared between Aziraphale’s cheeks, then he moved his body until his cock pressed against Aziraphale’s hole. Hungry yellow eyes met the blue, asking a silent question, and Aziraphale nodded. </p><p>“Please…”</p><p>Crowley started to push forward, and the pressure grew and grew. Aziraphale closed his eyes and concentrated on relaxing himself until he felt a little pop and sudden fullness. Crowley was inside him. With a smile, he opened his eyes and looked up at his lover. It sprung to his lips to profess his love, and he barely bit it back. Feverishly, he prayed he wouldn’t lose control and say it - that would ruin everything. </p><p>“You alright, angel?”</p><p>Crowley’s voice was rough, almost trembling, and something about hearing him so vulnerable went straight to Aziraphale’s heart. He nodded up at him. </p><p>“More, please. Give me your cock.”</p><p>The red haired man groaned and Aziraphale dragged him down into a sloppy kiss while Crowley started pushing himself inside, slowly but steadily. Aziraphale whimpered into his mouth - the stretch was <i>so good</i>, just on the right side of pain. Every inch was delicious and he wanted more. <i>More</i>. His arms were wrapped around Crowley, holding him tight, one hand between his shoulder blades and the other in the red hair. </p><p>Finally, after an age, Crowley was buried as deep as he could go. Their kiss broke and Aziraphale looked up into Crowley’s eyes, their breaths mingling in the small space between them. </p><p>“Fuck, you feel so good, angel. You’re so tight and hot… <i>Fuck.</i>”</p><p>“Oh, Crowley, I can’t express how good you feel inside me. Your cock is so big and fills me so well… please, please fuck me.”</p><p>“Yes, sir,” said Crowley, and began to withdraw, his eyes locked on Aziraphale’s. When he pulled nearly all the way out, he slid back in.</p><p>“More, Crowley. Fuck me, darling.”</p><p>Crowley slid in and out, in and out, slowly gaining speed and force, until he was fucking Aziraphale at a steady pace. The head of his cock was rubbing Aziraphale’s prostate with every thrust, and he clung to Crowley, closing his eyes.</p><p>“Angel?”</p><p>“Your cock is so good, Crowley. I love the way it feels. Please. Give it to me harder. Faster.”</p><p>Crowley groaned but sped up, and Aziraphale did his best to meet his thrusts from below. He could feel himself getting closer, climbing slowly, his orgasm approaching. </p><p>“So good, angel. It’s so good. You feel so perfect. Your arse is so hot. Nothing in my life has ever felt better. <i>Fuck!</i> Oh, Aziraphale…”</p><p>“Yes, Crowley. Fuck me harder. Oh, God, right there. Just like that. Give me more.”</p><p>Crowley obeyed, speeding up his thrusts, their bodies now making an obscene slapping noise that only served to turn Aziraphale on <i>more</i>. </p><p>“Do you like it?” Crowley demanded, his voice rough with exertion. “Do you like how I’m fucking you, sweetheart?”</p><p>“Yes! Oh, yes… it’s perfect. <i>You’re</i> perfect. Don’t stop. Please, I’ll do anything, just <i>don’t stop</i>!”</p><p>“I’m getting close,” Crowley confessed, sounding strained. “Gonna come, angel. Shit! Do you want me to come inside you?”</p><p>“Yes, yes, please come inside me. Fill me with it. <i>Claim</i> me, Crowley. Make me yours.”</p><p>“You are - <i>shit</i> - you are mine. Say it.”</p><p>“Oh, yes. I’m yours, Crowley. All yours.”</p><p>“Are you - are you close?”</p><p>“Yes! Very close. Don’t stop. Oh, you’re so good, Crowley…”</p><p>Without breaking his rhythm, Crowley brought one hand between them and started pumping Aziraphale at the same pace he was fucking him. Suddenly, Aziraphale was <i>extremely</i> close, and clutched at Crowley’s back, his fingers digging into the skin.</p><p>“Fuck, Crowley! Yes! More!”</p><p>“Come for me, angel,” Crowley managed in halting speech, broken up by his thrusts. “Come for me. I want to watch you.”</p><p>Aziraphale came with a cry, throwing his head back into the pillows and shouting an approximation of Crowley’s name. He was nearly lost in a tidal wave of sensation that threatened to drown him as he came and came. Dimly, he was aware that Crowley had let go of his cock and was fucking him even harder, then he froze and shouted, buried as deep as he could go. Aziraphale opened his eyes to see Crowley’s face frozen in a grimace of pleasure, his eyes screwed shut, making noises that were almost animalistic. He could feel Crowley pulsing deep inside of him and gave a tired smile. </p><p>Crowley's face eventually cleared as the tingling waves of Aziraphale’s orgasm subsided, and Aziraphale just <i>looked</i> at Crowley, marveling. He’d never seen anything as beautiful or loved anyone as much. </p><p>They were both still breathing harshly, Crowley propped over Aziraphale, when Crowley opened his golden eyes. The expression on his face was ineffably tender, and Aziraphale wondered again if Crowley really <i>could</i> love him. </p><p>One corner of Crowley’s mouth quirked up into a half smile, and he slowly lowered himself to kiss Aziraphale. They both shuddered with aftershocks from the motion, but neither one cared - nor did they care about the sticky mess now on both their bellies. The only thing that mattered was this kiss, sweet and tender and <i>perfect</i>. Aziraphale held him as close as he could, their bodies still joined, and they kissed until Crowley softened enough to slip out, making both of them whimper. </p><p>They kissed for a little while longer, replete and sated and happy, until Crowley gentled it, softening the loss with a few smaller kisses scattered over Aziraphale’s smiling face like stars. </p><p>“Thank you, angel,” he whispered.</p><p>“Mmm. Thank <i>you</i>. That was far and away the best sex I’ve ever had.”</p><p>Crowley grinned. “Me, too. And we get to do that over and over for the rest of our lives.”</p><p>He felt a thrill shoot all through him. <i>The rest of their lives.</i> “I can’t wait,” he said. </p><p>Crowley placed one more kiss on his mouth, then with a groan, collapsed onto the bed beside Aziraphale. Aziraphale missed his weight at once, missed the contact, and elected to ignore the mess they’d made. He rolled over into Crowley’s arms. </p><p>“Hiya, angel,” Crowley said with a smile in his voice as he wound his arm around Aziraphale when Aziraphale curled up against him. </p><p>Aziraphale lay his arm across his chest and his head on his shoulder. “Hello, darling.” <i>I love you</i>. </p><p>They lay there silently for a little while, basking in the afterglow, and Aziraphale was completely content. He’d never been happier.</p><p>“I think we need to make a habit of that,” Crowley said, his fingertips trailing up and down Aziraphale’s shoulder. </p><p>Aziraphale giggled. “I’m certainly in favor. Maybe next time, I won’t be such a pillow princess.”</p><p>“You were <i>amazing</i>, angel.” </p><p>Aziraphale gave him a coy smile. “I can do much better.”</p><p>“Jesus, sweetheart. You may kill me if you do.”</p><p>He giggled again, then confessed, “I like when you call me sweetheart.”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“I do. I like angel, too, but sweetheart is new. I really like it.”</p><p>Crowley kissed him quickly. “Well, get used to hearing it, because you <i>are</i> my sweetheart and I intend for everyone to know that.”</p><p>Aziraphale flushed with pleasure. He went to rub a circle on Crowley’s belly, and his hand was suddenly sticky. He scrunched up his nose in displeasure. </p><p>“Um, I think maybe we should get up. We need showers.”</p><p>“Is your shower big enough for two?  Because if not, it’ll have to wait. I’m not ready to let go of you yet.”</p><p>Aziraphale grinned. “It is. There’s plenty of room.”</p><p>Crowley kissed him with a smile. “Well, let’s go, then. We have a lot to do today.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p><i>I have an announcement!</i> I will be starting to post a new fic, called 'Win a Date With Anthony J. Crowley' on 9/30!  </p><p>Crowley is a world-famous rock star who sells out arenas. His name is synonymous with 'rock and roll', and he thrives on the spotlight. When he agrees to raffle off a date with himself for charity, he's expecting to meet an overzealous fan that wants to wear his skin and very well might try to roofie him. What he's <i>not</i> expecting is to be instantly attracted to the quiet man with the unusual name who shows up for the date at the Ritz... and he's <i>certainly</i> not expecting for Aziraphale to have <i>no idea</i> who he is...</p><p> </p><p>  </p><p> </p><p>Chapter one goes up on September 30th and will post regularly on Wednesdays and Saturdays! I hope you'll join me!</p><p>(the gorgeous art is by Naro Moreau!! Thank you, darling!)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As Crowley had requested, they took a shower together, and it was by far the most pleasurable shower of Crowley’s life. He talked Aziraphale into letting him wash his hair, then soaped up his angel’s perfect body, and they kissed and touched and played until the water ran cold and they were forced to get out. </p><p>There were more kisses and touches as they got dressed, and Crowley couldn’t get enough of them. He couldn’t get enough of <i>Aziraphale</i>. How was it possible that he fell deeper in love with Aziraphale with every passing minute? He didn’t understand, but knew it to be true. With every second that passed, he loved Aziraphale just that much more. </p><p>His heart sank, though, when he spotted Aziraphale’s neck in the daylight. “Um, angel?”</p><p>“Yes, dearheart?”</p><p>“It appears I marked you.”</p><p>“You did?” Aziraphale asked curiously, almost <i>hopefully</i>, going to the mirror on his wardrobe to peer at his neck. “Well! So you did. Quite a good many of them!” he said, sounding pleased.</p><p>“You’re not cross?”</p><p>“I told you, Crowley,” he said, turning around and wrapping his arms around Crowley’s shoulders. “I’m proud to wear a mark from you.”</p><p>Crowley put his hands on Aziraphale’s hips. “Yes, but we’re going to see my <i>mother</i> today.”</p><p>“They’re not <i>terribly</i> noticeable,” Aziraphale pooh-poohed him. “Why, you didn’t even see them until just a moment ago, and you <i>put them there!</i> I’ll bet she doesn’t notice.”</p><p>Crowley wasn’t so sure - his mother was aging, but her eyesight was sharp - but he didn’t say anything. </p><p>Aziraphale pressed a soft kiss to his mouth, then pulled back, smiling. “Now. We need to eat before we get on the road to Tadfield. Would you like to make something here, or would you like to go out?”</p><p>“Well, if we make something here, I’ll be able to kiss you and touch you as much as I want.”</p><p>The blond looked mischievous. “Yes…”</p><p>“So I think we should go out.”</p><p>Aziraphale’s face fell into a pout. “But… why?”</p><p>“Because, my sweetheart, if I’m able to kiss you and touch you as much as I want, we’ll never get <i>anything</i> done today, since all I ever want to <i>do</i> is kiss you and touch you.”</p><p>His face brightened. “Makes sense to me. I feel much the same. So we should go out.”</p><p>“I think we should go back to that little creperie you like, and you should let me buy you whatever you want.” </p><p>“All I want is you.”</p><p>Crowley kissed him. “You’ve got me. I mean whatever you want <i>to eat.</i>”</p><p>Aziraphale’s eyes twinkled with mischief and Crowley knew what he was thinking, but thankfully, he didn’t say it. Instead he said, “Well, in that case, I think a berry crepe would be wonderful. Let’s go.”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div>An hour later, after a nice breakfast of crepes and juice and endless lingering touches and glances, they clambered into Crowley’s hired SUV and took off for Tadfield. Aziraphale was nervous, he could tell, but trying not to be. To reassure him, Crowley reached over and took his hand.<p>“What are you doing next Saturday, angel?”</p><p>Aziraphale gave him a sly look. “You, hopefully.”</p><p>“Good God, I’ve created a monster,” Crowley said, earning a giggle from Aziraphale. He squeezed his hand. “Cheeky minx.”</p><p>Aziraphale looked pleased with himself. “In all seriousness, I don’t have any plans other than opening the shop for Saturday hours. Why?”</p><p>“Because I need to go car shopping, and I thought I might take you along.”</p><p>“You want <i>me</i> to go with you?”</p><p>“Well, of course. Who else?”</p><p>“I just don’t know how much help I’ll be. I don’t know much about cars, and I haven’t driven in ages.”</p><p>“You don’t have to do anything special, just tell me what you like and don’t like.”</p><p>“Why should my opinion matter?”</p><p>“Because we’re together now. Aren’t we?”</p><p>“Well, yes, but I won’t be driving it…”</p><p>“You could if you wanted to.”</p><p>“That’s very kind of you, but I literally haven’t driven in at least five years. I’d never trust myself behind the wheel of your car.”</p><p>“I trust you.”</p><p>“Yes, well, you’re barmy.”</p><p>Crowley raised his hand and kissed it. “Barmy for you.”</p><p>Aziraphale flushed, smiling, and Crowley smiled, too. </p><p>“What kind of car are you looking to get?”</p><p>“I don’t know. I haven’t put a lot of thought into it.”</p><p>“Well, what’s your dream car?”</p><p>“A Bentley.”</p><p>Aziraphale’s eyes widened a bit. “A Bentley?”</p><p>“Yes. A classic Bentley. 1920’s or 30’s.”</p><p>“I’d have expected you to prefer a sports car or something.”</p><p>“Nah. I’ve wanted an old Bentley for years. But they’re hard to find, and a <i>touch</i> out of the price range just yet, when you can even find them.”</p><p>“Yes, I imagine so. So what’s your plan B?”</p><p>“To take you with me and buy the first thing you see that you like.”</p><p>“Oh, stop.”</p><p>“It’s true. You’re going to be riding around in it all the time, it’s just as important that you like it as it is that <i>I</i> like it. I want you to be happy with it.”</p><p>“You’re so silly.”</p><p>“Are you saying you <i>won’t</i> help me? I’m wounded, angel,” he teased.</p><p>“No, I’m saying you should get whatever <i>you</i> want. I’ll be happy to ride in whatever.”</p><p>“But I want to squire you around in style.”</p><p>“So, so silly,” Aziraphale repeated. </p><p>Crowley chuckled and kissed his hand again. They rode along in comfortable silence for a while until they spotted the first road sign for Tadfield. As soon as they saw it, Aziraphale tensed up. </p><p>“What’s wrong?” </p><p>“Nothing,” he said in a falsely cheery voice. </p><p>“Are you nervous?”</p><p>“A bit,” Aziraphale confessed. </p><p>“Don’t be, angel. It’s just my mum. It’s not like you don’t know her. You spent a lot of time at my house when we were kids, and then even more when we were teenagers, after my dad left.”</p><p>“Yes, but we weren’t…”</p><p>Crowley waited for a beat to see how he’d finish that. When nothing was forthcoming, he prompted: “We weren’t what?”</p><p>“We weren’t <i>lovers</i> then. It’s different now. Our relationship has changed.”</p><p>“Yes, it is different, but I for one think that change is for the <i>better</i>. Don’t you?”</p><p>“Of course I do, dear. It’s just that I’m going to be sitting there, talking to your mother, looking her in the eye, knowing that you and I have had sex - and we intend to have more.”</p><p>“You bet your arse we intend to have more,” he said, and Aziraphale giggled. He kissed the back of his hand. “It’ll be fine, angel. She loves you, and she’s always loved you. She’s <i>happy</i> for us.”</p><p>“I hope you’re right…”</p><p>“I am right. You’ll see. I promise. Do you honestly think I’d ever hurt you?”</p><p>“Well, no…”</p><p>“Good, because I never would. This will be fine, sweetheart. I swear.”</p><p>“Okay,” Aziraphale said, sounding uncertain. Crowley just smiled and took the exit to Tadfield.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div>Aziraphale was a bundle of nerves when they pulled into the driveway of Crowley’s childhood home. Crowley squeezed his hand, kissed it, then put the car in park and hopped out. Aziraphale was a bit slower to emerge, and by the time he got to his feet beside the SUV, Crowley was there to meet him and kissed him quickly.<p>“<i>Relax</i>, angel,” he said, taking Aziraphale’s hand and threading their fingers while they still could. “Just relax. Take a deep breath.”</p><p>Aziraphale nodded and did as instructed, taking a breath. Crowley smiled at him, kissed him again, and started walking towards the house, still holding Aziraphale’s hand. He followed, heart in his throat. </p><p>Crowley didn’t hesitate when he got to the door, he just opened it and went right in. “Mum! I’m here! And I’ve brought Aziraphale, so put your teeth in!”</p><p>“Crowley!” Aziraphale admonished quietly. He just grinned wickedly. </p><p>Lucy Crowley appeared at the door to the lounge, smiling at both of them. Aziraphale hadn’t seen her in several years, but she hadn’t changed much. She was petite and small-boned, which belied her big personality. Her hair was a bit more silver now, but tied neatly in a bun, and her brown eyes were kind. </p><p>“What did I ever do to deserve a son that would tease his mother this way?” she said, clearly amused. </p><p>“I dunno, but it must have been pretty great,” Crowley replied. </p><p>Lucy rolled her eyes. “Come here, Crowley, and hug your mother.”</p><p>Crowley released his hand and stepped over to hug her. Aziraphale felt a small pang of jealousy, missing his own mother for a moment.</p><p>When they broke their embrace, Lucy patted Crowley’s cheek with a fond look. “My boy. I’m so glad you’re here.”</p><p>“You must have something for me to do, then,” he teased.</p><p>“Such cheek. But you’re skin and bones! Don’t you ever eat?”</p><p>“I eat, mum.”</p><p>“Hmph. Not enough,” she said, her eyes twinkling, then turned to see Aziraphale. “Aziraphale Fell. I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you.”</p><p>“Hello, Mrs. Crowley. You’re looking well.”</p><p>“Oh, you don’t have to be so formal with me, son. Come here.” The next thing he knew, he was wrapped up in a warm hug. Aziraphale surrendered to it, and over her shoulder, he spotted Crowley grinning at him. </p><p>As she’d done with Crowley, when they parted, she patted his cheek. “You look wonderful, Aziraphale. A sight for sore eyes.”</p><p>“It’s good to see you, too, Mrs. Crowley.”</p><p>She gave him a look. “I don’t suppose there’s anything I could do to convince you to call me ‘Lucy’, is there?”</p><p>“Oh, no. No, ma’am. I don’t think I could do that.”</p><p>“I thought not. Well, the offer is there, if you change your mind. Now, come in and have a seat. I just made lemonade.”</p><p>“Sounds good, mum. C’mon, angel.”</p><p>Crowley took his hand and pulled him towards the lounge. “Are you sure we shouldn’t help your mother?”</p><p>“Nah,” Crowley said. “She still likes to do for herself as much as she can. Trust me, she’ll let me know when she wants or needs help. She’s not shy.”</p><p>“Well, okay…”</p><p>Crowley flopped down onto the couch and patted the space beside him. “Come sit, angel.”</p><p>Aziraphale went to sit beside him, a bit more cautiously and delicately than Crowley had taken his seat. Crowley just grinned. </p><p>Lucy came back into the room a minute later, carrying a tray with a pitcher of lemonade, three glasses, and a plate of biscuits. She sat it down on the coffee table and served each of them a glass of lemonade before she sat down in her armchair. </p><p>“You two don’t be shy. The biscuits are fresh, I just baked them last night.”</p><p>“We just ate not long ago, Mum.”</p><p>She gave him a look. “You need to eat some biscuits.”</p><p>Crowley sighed and rolled his eyes. “Yes, ma’am.”</p><p>Aziraphale took one, just to be polite, and Crowley and his mother chatted pleasantly as they ate. When Crowley’s second biscuit was gone, Lucy nudged the tray. “Have another.”</p><p>“Nah. Two’s enough. Have to keep up my girlish figure so my sweetheart will keep me around.”</p><p>Aziraphale shot him a wide-eyed look, but Crowley just grinned and winked. He was surprised when Crowley draped his arm around his shoulders, as if it were no big deal. He hadn't expected any overt displays in front of Crowley’s mother, and he wasn’t quite sure what to do.</p><p><i>Go with the flow</i>, he reminded himself. Tentatively, he gave Crowley a smile back. </p><p>“So,” Lucy said, sitting back in her chair. “Tell me how this came about.”</p><p>Aziraphale’s heart stopped, but Crowley didn’t flinch. “Me and Aziraphale?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Two bottles of wine on a movie night,” Crowley said with a laugh. </p><p>Aziraphale felt as if he’d been hit with something hard, right in the center of his chest. He barely had time to think before Crowley kissed his temple. </p><p>“I’m only kidding, although wine <i>was</i> involved. But I didn’t need any alcohol to make me want to kiss him. Been wanting to since you had brown hair.”</p><p>She pursed her lips at him, and Aziraphale had no idea what to do. He was still reeling from what Crowley had said. Was that true? Had he wanted to kiss Aziraphale for years? Or was it true that he only did it because of the alcohol?</p><p>“How long ago did this happen?”</p><p>“Two weeks ago yesterday,” Crowley supplied, sounding proud. </p><p>“Are you happy?”</p><p>Crowley gave a brilliant smile. “I’m over the moon, Mum.”</p><p>Lucy turned her eyes to Aziraphale and he swallowed quickly, then pasted on a smile. “I’m thrilled too,” he said honestly. “Truly.”</p><p>“Well, that’s all any mother can ask for.”</p><p>Crowley was looking out into the garden. “Hey, Mum, why is your grass so high?”</p><p>“The boy that usually cuts it is on holiday with his parents.”</p><p>He scowled out of the window. “You really shouldn’t let it get so high. It’ll attract vermin.”</p><p>“He’ll be back in two weeks,” Lucy said. “It’ll keep until then.”</p><p>“Two weeks! It’ll be a forest by then!”</p><p>“Well, what do you suggest I do in the meantime? Buy a cow?”</p><p>Crowley rolled his eyes. “I’ll cut it.” </p><p>“You’ll get dirty,” Lucy said. </p><p>He grinned. “I just happen to have a change of clothes in my car, since I spent the night with Aziraphale last night.”</p><p>The lemonade Aziraphale had been drinking nearly made a reappearance. Once he was sure it was secure, he closed his eyes in silent entreaty. </p><p>Crowley didn’t seem to notice. “Will you be alright, angel? It’s not a big garden, it won’t take long.”</p><p>Well, what was he supposed to say to <i>that</i>? </p><p>“He’ll be alright,” Lucy said before he could answer. “What do you think I’m going to do, beat him or something?”</p><p>“You might. You’re pretty spry for your age.”</p><p>“Shame of my flesh,” Lucy said fondly. </p><p>Crowley chuckled, then turned to Aziraphale and lowered his voice. “Really, angel, will you be okay?”</p><p>Aziraphale nodded, giving him a brave smile. “I’ll be alright.”</p><p>He was shocked when Crowley kissed him square on the mouth, right in front of his mother. “I won’t be long,” he promised, getting to his feet, leaving a stunned Aziraphale sitting there. </p><p>“We’ll be fine,” Aziraphale said, trying his best <i>not</i> to be nervous. </p><p>Crowley pointed at his mother. “You. Behave yourself. Don’t embarrass me.”</p><p>“You think I’d embarrass you?” she asked innocently. </p><p>“Oh, this is a bad idea. I’d better go before I change my mind.” He bent over and pressed another kiss to the top of Aziraphale’s head. “I’ll be back, sweetheart.”</p><p>Aziraphale felt a thrill all through him. “I’ll be here.”</p><p>With one more smile, Crowley was gone, and they heard the back door open and close. </p><p>“Now that that dervish of a son of mine is out of the way, how are you, Aziraphale?”</p><p>He gave a smile. “I’m well.” </p><p>“How is the shop?”</p><p>“The shop is doing very well. Keeping me busy.”</p><p>“I imagine so. You’re still in Soho, is that right?”</p><p>“Yes, I’ve been there for a little over fifteen years.”</p><p>“Do you like it?”</p><p>“Oh, yes. It’s the only home I’ve ever known as an adult.” Outside, they heard the lawnmower start up. They sat in silence for a few moments, and Aziraphale had no idea what to say. All he could think of was last night and this morning, waking up in Crowley’s arms and making love to him. But he certainly couldn’t talk about <i>that</i>. </p><p>“You know, Crowley’s never brought anyone home to me before.”</p><p>Aziraphale froze. “He - he hasn’t?”</p><p>“No, not since he was a teenager. I’ve asked him why not, and he’s told me that he didn’t care about any of them enough.” </p><p>“Oh. I, I see. How - how are you?”</p><p>She smiled gently, allowing the change in conversation. “I’m very well. Enjoying retirement, and trying to take it easy on my knees.”</p><p>“Yes, Crowley had mentioned you were still having trouble with them.”</p><p>“I am, and it seems they get a little worse every day. Eventually, I’ll have to get them replaced. To be honest, I’ll probably do it sooner rather than later, now that Crowley is nearby again and I won’t have to be alone. I was hesitant to do it before, and not have any help during my convalescence.” </p><p>“You could do the surgery in London, and stay with Crowley. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind having you there, and I’d do anything I could to help. You could stay with me at the shop during the day, if you’d like.”</p><p>Her eyes twinkled at him knowingly. “Maybe I’ll do that. How are your brothers?”</p><p>“They’re both very well.”</p><p>“I see Sandy around town from time to time. His daughters are lovely.”</p><p>Aziraphale smiled proudly. “They are.”</p><p>“Is Gabriel also well?”</p><p>“He is. He and his wife, Celeste, live in London.” </p><p>“Do you see them often?”</p><p>“I see Gabriel more than Sandy, but I’m a bit closer to Gabriel - in location and otherwise. He’s having Crowley and I for dinner on Friday, in fact.”</p><p>“Oh, that will be nice.”</p><p>“I’m looking forward to it,” Aziraphale lied. </p><p>If she spotted the lie, she didn’t let on. They chatted lightly for a few more minutes about nothing of significance, and Aziraphale slowly grew more comfortable. He was almost at ease when she said, “How are you and Crowley doing?”</p><p>Aziraphale gave a gentle, but nervous smile. “We’re doing well. It’s… all rather new, to be honest, but we’re adjusting.”</p><p>“I’d always hoped that you two would end up together.”</p><p>He was taken by surprise. “You did?”</p><p>“Yes. You’ve always brought out the best in my boy. He <i>glows</i> when you’re around, and always has. You seem to glow, too, but to be fair, I’ve rarely seen you without him. That may be natural for you.”</p><p>Aziraphale flushed just a little. “No, I think it’s mostly down to him,” he admitted. </p><p>She was looking at him shrewdly. “Can I give you a small bit of advice about my son?”</p><p>He nodded. “Of course.”</p><p>“He’s a good man, no matter what he thinks of himself, and he always has been. But he can be a bit thoughtless sometimes. It happens more when he’s nervous. My advice to you is to pay more attention to his actions than his words, especially when those words have hurt you.”</p><p>Aziraphale wasn’t sure what to say to that. Had Lucy picked up on his discomfort with the earlier comment? Was she trying to comfort him? That seemed likely. But he still didn’t know how to respond to it. </p><p>Finally, he settled on, “Thank you. I’ll keep that in mind. It feels wonderful knowing we have your support.”</p><p>“You do. You have my full-throated support, and both of you have all my love.”</p><p>“We love you, too, Mrs. Crowley.”</p><p>The sound of the lawnmower outside waxed and waned as Crowley mowed, and the only other sound was the ticking of the grandfather clock. Aziraphale had no idea how to fill the silence, and wished for Crowley. </p><p>“It’s rather hot today, isn’t it?” Lucy asked. </p><p>“Yes, it is quite warm,” Aziraphale agreed. </p><p>She gave him another knowing look. “Do you think Crowley would like a drink of his lemonade?”</p><p>Realization dawned, and Aziraphale smiled. He was being given a gift. </p><p>“I think he’d probably like that.”</p><p>“Well, maybe you should take him some.”</p><p>“Yes, ma’am, I will.”</p><p>Aziraphale grabbed Crowley’s glass of lemonade, refilled it, and went to find him. When he got to the back door, he opened it, stepping out onto the patio, and nearly dropped the glass when he saw his boyfriend. </p><p>Crowley had taken off his shirt and was pushing the lawnmower bare chested. Aziraphale had never had a thing for sweaty men, but oh, goodness, was Crowley <i>sexy</i>. His red hair glowed in the sun, and his muscles rippled under glistening skin. Crowley’s snake tattoo - which Aziraphale had yet to spend appropriate time worshipping - seemed to move with his movements, and oh <i>heavens</i>, he was so gorgeous. It was with a full body thrill that Aziraphale came to the realization - <i>This man is mine</i>. </p><p><i>But is he, really?</i> the other part of his brain asked. Aziraphale was still stinging from the remark about the two bottles of wine. Had he been joking? Or had the joke been when he said he’d always wanted to kiss Aziraphale? The same old doubts crept in, needling their way into his mind, and Aziraphale couldn't help but be overtaken with them for a few minutes. </p><p><i>No</i>, he told himself a moment later. His mother had told him to trust his actions, not his words, and that was what he needed to do. <i>All</i> of Crowley’s actions led him to believe that this was real. He needed to trust <i>that</i>, and not the doubting voices in his head. </p><p>Dismissing his concerns and putting on a smile, he stepped out into the garden and took Crowley the glass. When Crowley spotted him, he stopped the mower. </p><p>“Hiya, angel,” he said, using his arm to wipe his brow, making even <i>more</i> muscles ripple and oh, Lord, now was not the time for an erection! Aziraphale willed his cock to behave. </p><p>“I brought you some lemonade.”</p><p>“You really are an angel,” he said with a smile, taking the glass and draining half of it two big gulps. Aziraphale watched his Adam’s apple bob, thinking again how he’d like to nibble it, and realized with a pulse of joy that he <i>could</i> nibble it, any time he wanted to. The only thing stopping him now was geography. But when they were home…</p><p>“Stay with me tonight,” he said suddenly. </p><p>Crowley seemed surprised for just a moment, then gave Aziraphale a wicked smile. “Seeing me all sweaty got you hot and bothered, angel?” </p><p>“Yes,” he answered honestly. “Will you?”</p><p>“You know I can’t say no to you. Of course I will. I’ll just need to set an alarm so I can get home and get changed before work.”</p><p>“Or I could stay at your place,” Aziraphale offered. </p><p>“That would be better for me, if you’re sure.”</p><p>“I’m sure.”</p><p>“It’s a date.”</p><p>“Good,” Aziraphale said with a bright smile. <i>I love you.</i></p><p>Crowley nodded towards the house. “How’s it going in there?”</p><p>“It’s fine. We’re just talking.”</p><p>“Anything interesting?”</p><p>“Not really, just small talk.” </p><p>“I won’t be much longer. It’s about halfway done.”</p><p>“Take your time, Crowley. Truly.”</p><p>“So are you willing to kiss a sweaty, stinky man?” Crowley asked with a lopsided grin.</p><p>Aziraphale smiled in return. “I’m willing to kiss <i>my</i> sweaty, stinky man,” he replied and leaned forward to kiss Crowley sweetly. He felt the kiss all over, down to the tips of his fingers and toes, and barely refrained from wrapping his arms around Crowley. </p><p>When the kiss broke, Crowley smiled against his lips. “You’d better get into the house before I have my way with you, right out here in the garden.”</p><p>Aziraphale grinned. “I’ll go inside, but I have a favor to ask.”</p><p>“Anything for you, sweetheart. Name it.”</p><p>“I want you to decide whether you’re going to come in my mouth or all over my face tonight when I suck you off.” </p><p>Crowley looked stricken. “Jesus, angel.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“How am I supposed to mow the grass with a raging hard-on?”</p><p>“You’ll manage,” Aziraphale said with a teasing smile. </p><p>Crowley kissed him again, hard. “You’re the wickedest angel I’ve ever even heard of. Go on, get in the house, before I really <i>do</i> make a scene.”</p><p>Aziraphale grinned and stole one more kiss before he flounced off, back towards the house. He didn’t hear the lawnmower start up again until he was back inside, and smiled widely.</p><p>“Aziraphale? Is that you?”</p><p>Quickly, he shook off the risque talk he’d just been engaged in and went back to the lounge with a smile. </p><p>Lucy had moved so she was sitting in the center of the couch. </p><p>“Was he hot?”</p><p><i>In both senses of the word</i>, Aziraphale thought. </p><p>But he smiled and nodded. “Yes, he was.”</p><p>“Good. I’m glad I sent you. Here, come sit by me and let’s look at some photos.”</p><p>Aziraphale obediently went to sit by her, and Lucy pulled a large album out from under the table. “I have several photo albums, but I thought you’d be more interested in the ones you’re actually in.”</p><p>“I’m in here?” Aziraphale asked, a bit surprised. </p><p>She smiled. “Of course you are. You were a huge part of my son’s life. It only makes sense that there would be pictures of you.”</p><p>With a smile, she cracked the album open. “Let’s see. This book is from about 1988 to 1990, so you two would have been between seven and ten.”</p><p>“That sounds right.”</p><p>She turned the pages, and Aziraphale was hit by powerful waves of nostalgia, looking at the old photos. He remembered Crowley so clearly like that, all red hair and freckles and skinned knees. He realized about halfway through that he hadn’t stopped smiling since she opened the album. </p><p>“Ah, here you are,” she said when she turned another page, and sure enough, there he was, sitting side by side with Crowley on a porch swing. Their arms were slung around each other, and they were smiling happily up at the camera. Another page found them kicking a football in the yard, and another found them sitting across from each other, laughing at something lost to time. The sight brought tears to his eyes. </p><p>“Crowley was never happier than when he was with you,” Lucy said, turning the page. </p><p>“I think if you’d asked my mother, she’d have said the same thing about me.”</p><p>“Oh, she did. She and I had more than a few talks about the two of you, even after you became adults,” Lucy said. Aziraphale was greedy for her to go on. “She’d have been thrilled to see you together, just as I am.”</p><p>Fresh tears pricked Aziraphale’s eyes, and he tried to blink them back. “Do you really think so?”</p><p>“I know so. We both always hoped you’d end up together.” </p><p>A single tear splashed onto his cheek, and she smiled gently but didn't acknowledge it, other than a soft pat to his hand. Then she went back to the album and turned another page. </p><p>Aziraphale was just getting a hold of himself when he heard the back door open and close. “Grass is cut!” Crowley shouted. They didn’t have time to say anything before he was in the lounge, still all sweaty and shirtless, and Aziraphale gulped. </p><p>“Oi! I told you not to embarrass me!”</p><p>“I haven’t done anything embarrassing,” she protested coolly. </p><p>“Showing him pictures of my bare arse isn’t embarrassing?”</p><p>“Language, young man,” she said, her tone suddenly warning.</p><p>Crowley looked chastened. “Sorry. Bum. But my point stands.”</p><p>“For your information, I haven’t shown him any naked pictures. But judging by the marks on his neck that I presume you left, it wouldn’t be anything he hasn’t seen before.”</p><p>Aziraphale’s eyes went wide and he felt his whole face turn red. When he looked at Crowley, he was scarlet, too. Lucy just looked satisfied. </p><p>“Did you say you brought a change of clothes?” she asked sweetly. </p><p>“Uh, yeah. I did. It’s in the car.”</p><p>“Why don’t you go get them and have a quick shower? Aziraphale and I can entertain ourselves for a little longer. And then I’ll make steak and kidney pie. That’s your favorite, right, Aziraphale?”</p><p>“Yes, ma’am,” he answered, still too embarrassed to look at her. </p><p>She turned back to Crowley. “Go on. Get your shower. We’ll be fine.”</p><p>“Yes, ma’am,” Crowley mumbled. </p><p>“And thank you for mowing the grass!” she called after his retreating back. When he was gone, she turned to Aziraphale with a mischievous smile. “Why don’t we look at another album? This one is from 1980-1982. There should be some lovely, embarrassing things in there.”</p><p>Aziraphale smiled in return. “I can’t wait to see.”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div>The sun was setting behind the tree line, and Aziraphale sat on the patio with Crowley and his mother, enjoying a glass of wine before he and Crowley headed home. As much as he was looking forward to getting back to London and getting his hands on Crowley, he found that he wasn’t in much of a rush yet. The moment they were in was quiet, peaceful, and Aziraphale was cherishing it. He only wished, ungraciously, that he were alone with Crowley for it. But they had plenty of time. The rest of their lives, Crowley had said. Aziraphale chose to believe him.<p>As if she’d sensed Aziraphale’s wish, Lucy quietly got up and excused herself back into the house, leaving him on the patio with Crowley. He started to ask if they should go in and help her when he heard the scrape of a patio chair and looked up to see Crowley scooting closer. As soon as he was close enough, he reached for Aziraphale’s hand. Aziraphale gave it gladly. They gazed at each other in the low light for a moment, then looked back out over the trees silently until Aziraphale sighed. </p><p>“What’s wrong, angel?”</p><p>“There’s nothing wrong. Everything is <i>right</i>. You just can’t get this kind of peaceful feeling in London, is all.”</p><p>“I disagree,” Crowley said, looking out at the setting sun. “My greatest source of peace is found only in London. Lives over a shop in Soho.”</p><p>Aziraphale just smiled, pleased, not understanding how it was possible to love someone so much. Sometimes he felt like he would burst with it. </p><p>“So you’re going to stay with me tonight?”</p><p>“I’d like to, if that’s alright.”</p><p>“There’s a problem.”</p><p>He felt a prickle of alarm. “What?”</p><p>“Once I get you in my flat, in my bed, I’m never going to want you to leave.”</p><p>Aziraphale grinned at him. “I’m not going to want to leave, myself. But I promise to be a frequent visitor.”</p><p>“I hope so.”</p><p>They fell silent again, and the sun slowly sank behind the trees, casting the sky in fiery hues until it faded into indigo and the stars appeared.</p><p>“This is the beginning, angel.”</p><p>“The beginning of what?”</p><p>He turned to look at Aziraphale. “Of us. Of forever. Right now, you and I, we’re a story just starting. And I can’t wait to read it.”</p><p>Aziraphale smiled and squeezed his hand. “I can’t wait, either, dear.”</p><p>They gazed at each other for a minute, and Aziraphale wanted so badly to tell him how much he loved him. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep it inside.</p><p>Crowley squeezed his hand again. “Come on, angel. Let’s say goodbye to my mother, then go home. I’m going to get to wake up with you again in the morning, and I can’t wait to get you into my arms properly.”</p><p>“Lead the way, dearheart.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>We're over fifteen hundred comments, almost to ten thousand hits, and damn near five hundred kudos. Holy <i>shit</i> you guys. I'm humbled. Thank you so much for loving this story.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I gotta be honest, I’m excited to see what you guys think about this one. I hope you like it!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>Friday, 21 August</i>
</p><p>Crowley was nervous but trying unsuccessfully to hide it on the drive over to Gabriel’s Friday night. He hadn’t seen Aziraphale’s brother since he was a teenager and Gabriel had been something of a prick then. In fact, he’d been a <i>massive</i> prick. Crowley had spent his childhood with a healthy fear of Aziraphale’s big brothers, and was trying to keep that juvenile fear from rearing its ugly head now, with limited success. </p><p>Unsurprisingly, Aziraphale seemed to notice, anyway. “Don’t be nervous, dear.”</p><p>“I’m not nervous,” he lied. </p><p>“You are, and I understand. But he’s nothing like he used to be. You’ll see.”</p><p>“I guess I will,” Crowley sighed. “Remind me about his family, please.”</p><p>“His wife is Celeste, and they’ve been married for eleven years.”</p><p>“Is she nice?”</p><p>“Oh, yes. She’s very sweet. Then there’s Nathaniel, or Nate. He’s eight. Lailah just turned six.”</p><p>“And they have a baby?”</p><p>“Yes, baby Zach. He’s named after me,” Aziraphale said proudly. “Eight months old - a little Christmas gift last year.”</p><p>“I like kids,” Crowley said, apropos of nothing.</p><p>Aziraphale gave him a look. “You do?”</p><p>“I do. I’ve always gotten along well with little ones.”</p><p>“Well, Nate and Lailah are easy to get along with.”</p><p>“What do Gabriel and Celeste do for a living?”</p><p>“Gabriel is the executive director of a hospital. Celeste was a nurse, but she stays home with the children for now. She plans to go back at some point. She misses nursing.”</p><p>“And you’re <i>sure</i> I have nothing to worry about?” he asked, even though he knew it would reveal the depth of his anxiety.</p><p>Aziraphale smiled at him kindly. “I’m quite sure. I would never take you into a situation where I thought you might be hurt in any way. It will be a bit uncomfortable at first, yes, but I’m sure that once we all get past the initial awkwardness, you’ll fit right in.”</p><p>“Remember on Sunday when you said you were going to have to look my mother in the eye and know that you’ve been having sex with her son?”</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“Well, I have a bit more empathy for that statement now.”</p><p>Aziraphale reached over and lay one hand on Crowley’s thigh with a smile. “It’s alright, dearheart.”</p><p>“Do you… have you…?”</p><p>“Have I what?”</p><p>Crowley swallowed hard, wondering why he was even bringing this up, then asked, “Have you introduced him to many of your boyfriends?”</p><p>“Oh. No, only Simon, and only because Simon happened to be at the shop one day when Gabriel came by to take me to lunch. It wasn’t planned.”</p><p>“Oh,” Crowley said, feeling a little pleased by that. But he was still anxious. </p><p>Aziraphale started to stroke his thigh. “I know what would ease your mind…” he said in that voice Crowley had come to know in the last week. That voice promised untold sensual delights. </p><p>“Angel, if you make me walk into your brother’s house with a fucking hard-on…”</p><p>“We could pull over and I could suck you off before we get there,” he offered. </p><p>Crowley gritted his teeth. “No, it’s fine. I’m fine. Just… talk to me about something else.”</p><p>“Of course. What would you like to talk about?”</p><p>“Tell me about what you want to do when we’re in Paris.”</p><p>Aziraphale grinned wickedly. “Honestly, I’d be fine if we never left the room. I’d love to make love until we just can’t anymore.”</p><p>Crowley ground his teeth when his cock twitched in his pants against his will. “Angel…” he said warningly. </p><p>“Alright, alright, I’ll behave,” Aziraphale said with a laugh. Then he started talking about places they could go while they were in Paris next weekend and interesting little factoids about the city. It was nice, a pleasant distraction, and before he knew it, they were pulling into the driveway of an expansive house. Crowley looked up at it anxiously, and Aziraphale squeezed his leg. </p><p>“It’s alright, Crowley. Trust me, please.”</p><p>He nodded. “Yeah, of course I do. Let’s do this.”</p><p>Crowley got out of the car before he lost his nerve and went around to the passenger side to meet Aziraphale. His beloved took his hand with a bright smile that Crowley tried to return, and they set off up the path to the door. </p><p>“Nate, Lailah, and Baby Zach. Right?”</p><p>“That’s right.”</p><p>“And your sister-in-law’s name is Celeste.”</p><p>“Correct.”</p><p>Aziraphale rang the bell and Crowley debated with himself about the glasses. In the end, he decided to leave them on. For now. </p><p>The door opened to reveal a pretty blonde who was smiling brightly. </p><p>“Aziraphale! Hi! You’re right on time.”</p><p>“Hello, Celeste,” he said, kissing her cheek. </p><p>“And this must be Anthony Crowley,” she said with a warm smile for Crowley. </p><p>He stuck out his hand. “Just Crowley, please. And it’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Fell.”</p><p>“Oh, now, none of that. Call me Celeste. You prefer Crowley?”</p><p>“I do, yes.” </p><p>“Alright, then, Crowley. And it’s a great pleasure to meet you.”</p><p>Aziraphale was looking around the large foyer. “Where’s Gabriel?”</p><p>“He’s in his study. He said to tell you to come find him there.”</p><p>“Alright,” Aziraphale said and retook Crowley’s hand. “Come on, dear.”</p><p>“Nice to meet you,” Crowley said in parting to Celeste, as Aziraphale pulled him to the corridor. Crowley just followed obediently. </p><p>Aziraphale came to a stop outside of a door that was only slightly ajar and looked over at Crowley. “Are you ready?”</p><p>Crowley’s heart was pounding in his ears, but he nodded. “I’m ready.”</p><p>His angel gave him a quick, reassuring kiss, then pushed the door open and stepped inside. </p><p>Gabriel was there, in a large wingback chair beside the fireplace, and Crowley’s heart stopped altogether when he saw that Aziraphale’s brother seemed to be cleaning a large hunting rifle. He was sure all the color drained from his face, and his eyes went wide behind his glasses. </p><p>“Oh, for <i>heaven’s</i> sake, Gabriel!” Aziraphale exclaimed, sounding angry. </p><p>“Ah, good. You’re here,” Gabriel said with a smile. </p><p>“A <i>gun</i>, Gabriel? <i>Really</i>?”</p><p>Gabriel seemed unrepentant. “It needed cleaning.”</p><p>“Is it even a <i>real</i> gun?” Aziraphale demanded. </p><p>His brother ignored that, setting the rifle to the side and getting to his feet, turning to Crowley. “Anthony Crowley. It’s good to see you. Been a while.”</p><p>Crowley wasn’t sure his heart was beating yet, but if it <i>was</i>, it was pumping pure adrenaline into his veins. He did his best to sound unaffected when he said, “Hello, Gabriel. You’re looking well.”</p><p>“Thank you, same to you.”</p><p>Aziraphale started to speak again, but before he could get a word out, there was the unmistakable clamor of children. </p><p>“Uncle Aziraphale! Uncle Aziraphale!”</p><p>Aziraphale gave Gabriel one more dark look, then his face morphed into a smile and he turned to greet the children. </p><p>“Hello, my favorite little ones!” Aziraphale said, letting go of Crowley and bending down to give hugs. The children chattered excitedly as he hugged them, and Celeste appeared at the door with a baby on her hip. </p><p>“Aziraphale, I’m wondering if you could help me with Zach while I finish dinner?”</p><p>Crowley's heart thudded again.</p><p>“I couldn’t possibly leave Crowley…”</p><p>“Come with us, Uncle Aziraphale!” the little boy, Nate, said. “I want to show you my island on Animal Crossing!”</p><p>“Go on,” Gabriel said, still smiling. “Crowley and I will stay here and chat for a bit.”</p><p>Aziraphale gave Gabriel the ugliest look he’d ever seen on the angel’s face. “You and I are going to have a <i>talk</i> later, Gabriel.”</p><p>“I look forward to it,” Gabriel replied, unperturbed. </p><p>Aziraphale glared, then turned to Celeste and the children. “Alright, little ones. Let me get a bottle from your Mummy for Zach and I’ll come look at your animal passing.”</p><p>“Animal <i>Crossing</i>,” the little girl, Lailah, corrected, grabbing Aziraphale’s hand. Nate took his other hand and together they pulled him from the room, following their mother and chattering happily about turnips and bells. Aziraphale just had time to give Crowley an apologetic look, then he was gone. </p><p>“There,” Gabriel said. “Now it’ll be a bit quieter.”</p><p>Crowley whirled around, narrowing his eyes at Gabriel. “You planned that, didn’t you? Cleaning the gun, the children coming in, your wife needing help… all of it.”</p><p>“Maybe a little. But in fairness, the children always come running when Aziraphale gets here. They adore their uncle. I’m sure you can understand why. Come,” he said, gesturing to the other wingback. “Have a seat. Let’s talk for a few minutes.”</p><p>Crowley looked at him warily, then went to sit in the offered chair, quite a bit more stiffly than usual. </p><p>“Can I get you a drink? I think I’m going to have scotch.”</p><p>He thought about it at light speed, and decided that a drink might help him calm his nerves. “Yeah, I’ll take a scotch.”</p><p>“Neat or on the rocks?”</p><p>“Neat.”</p><p>Gabriel poured each of them a couple fingers of scotch into crystal tumblers, then came over and handed one to Crowley and took his seat. He was still smiling. </p><p>“First, Crowley, I’d like to apologize.”</p><p>Crowley hadn’t been expecting that, and it left him a little wrong footed. “You would?”</p><p>“Yes. I was something of a bully as a kid, and you were the victim of my ugly behavior more than once. It was wrong of me and I’m sorry.”</p><p>He blinked, unsure what to think. “Thank you.”</p><p>“Can I ask you some questions?”</p><p>“Is this an interview?”</p><p>“No, not really, just an informal, friendly chat with the man who’s dating my baby brother. I haven’t spoken to you in twenty years and don’t know you well anymore. I’d like to remedy that.”</p><p>Crowley didn’t see much of a choice. It took a fortifying sip of the alcohol and nodded when he swallowed. “Go ahead.”</p><p>“Lovely. Aziraphale hasn’t talked much about you over the last several years. He’s been quite closed-lipped about you, so I’m afraid there are some gaps in my knowledge. You were in America, is that right?”</p><p>“Yes. I moved to New York in 2003.”</p><p>“To work, correct?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“And you’re in marketing?”</p><p>“That’s right.”</p><p>“Aziraphale tells me you’re an executive.”</p><p>“I am, yes. I worked my way up the ladder.”</p><p>“What about your personal life? Have you ever been married?”</p><p>“I don’t believe my personal life is any of your business, but to answer your question, no, I haven’t.” <i>Not yet.</i></p><p>Gabriel took a sip of his drink. “What made you come back to the UK?”</p><p>Crowley debated how to answer that question. He didn't want to be <i>too</i> honest, but he didn't want to lie. So he decided on the partial truth he’d told Aziraphale: “There were lots of reasons. Mostly that I was homesick.”</p><p>“Was my brother one of those reasons?”</p><p>“Yes,” Crowley answered immediately. “One of the biggest reasons.”</p><p>Gabriel looked pleased by that and took another sip of his scotch. His violet eyes were twinkling. “What took you so long to get your head out of your ass?”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“I mean that it was obvious to everyone with eyes that you and Aziraphale were nuts about each other when you were kids and teenagers. Why wait until now to do something about it?”</p><p>“Well, I’ve been in the US…”</p><p>“I suppose. Still, you could have dated when you were teenagers. You can’t tell me you didn’t have feelings for him then.”</p><p>“Honestly, neither of us were mature enough for the relationship I wanted to have with him when we were younger. It wouldn’t have ended well.”</p><p>“That’s fair enough. But you’re mature enough now?”</p><p>“I think so, yes.”</p><p>Gabriel hesitated a moment. Then he said, “At the risk of being cliche, what are your intentions with my brother?”</p><p>Crowley’s heart was pounding, but he didn’t dare lie. Not because he was afraid of Gabriel - he no longer felt any sort of physical threat from him - but Gabriel <i>could</i> make his life more difficult if he didn’t approve of Crowley. More than that, he simply couldn’t bear the thought of being anything but truthful about Aziraphale. </p><p>“Honestly?”</p><p>“Please.”</p><p>“They’re entirely honorable. I intend to marry him as soon as he’ll let me.”</p><p>Gabriel’s brows shot up. “Really?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“So you love him?”</p><p>“I think that’s something I should confess to your brother before I tell his family, don’t you?”</p><p>Gabriel grinned. “I’ll take that as a yes. Are you going to take care of him?”</p><p>Now was the time to be <i>completely</i> honest, and Crowley knew it. He didn’t hold back. “I’d rather die than let anything bad happen to Aziraphale. Literally, I’d rather be killed than see him hurt in any way. So that’s the answer to your question, as far as emotionally and physically. As far as materially, you never have to worry about that, either. I make plenty to keep both of us comfortable for the rest of our lives. I’ve invested wisely over the last twenty years and built a fair amount of wealth. Even if I never worked again, we’d be fine. His income will just be a bonus. He will never want for anything with me, I promise.”</p><p>“That’s what I like to hear,” Gabriel said with a smile. “Well, for what it’s worth, you have my blessing. And you would have had my mom’s had she been here.”</p><p>“I would have?” Crowley asked, surprised. </p><p>“Oh, yes. All she ever wanted was for Aziraphale to be happy, and she was forever lamenting that the happiest he ever was was when he was with you. He’s been in love with you since he was a child, and we all knew it. She’d be pleased, I assure you.”</p><p>“I - thank you,” he said, because he didn’t know what else to say. He found himself unexpectedly emotional, and tried to blink it back. </p><p>“Gabriel, honey, dinner is ready,” Celeste said from the doorway. </p><p>“Coming, dear,” he said with a smile, then the two of them got to their feet. Gabriel extended his hand for Crowley to shake and he hesitated for only a minute before he took it. </p><p>“All I ask, Crowley, is that you take care of him, and you never keep him away from us.”</p><p>“I will take care of him and I won’t keep him away. You have my word.”</p><p>Gabriel slapped him on the shoulder. “Good. Welcome to the family. I look forward to being your brother soon. Now, let’s go rescue Aziraphale and have some linguine.”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div>Aziraphale was relieved when Crowley and Gabriel emerged from the study, and neither looked to be upset. He very much wanted to pull Crowley to the side and ask him what had happened, but there was no time. Celeste took the baby from his arms and ushered them all into the dining room.<p>He was alert to signs of distress from his boyfriend, but Crowley seemed to be at ease during dinner, so whatever happened with Gabriel must not have been <i>too</i> bad, he figured. He still intended to bless his brother out at the first available opportunity for the stunt with the gun, though. His cheeks got red just thinking about it. </p><p>They were nearing the end of the meal, which had progressed without incident, when Nate took advantage of a lull in conversation to ask the question that had apparently been burning in his mind. </p><p>“So who are you?” he asked, his eyes on Crowley. </p><p>Crowley smiled easily. “I’m Crowley.”</p><p>“Yes, but who <i>are</i> you?” Nate persisted. </p><p>“He’s Uncle Aziraphale’s boyfriend,” Gabriel supplied, surprising Aziraphale. </p><p>Nate turned from his father to Crowley and Aziraphale. “Is that true?”</p><p>“Yes, it is,” Aziraphale said. He wasn't sure how this was going to go and was suddenly anxious. </p><p>“Does that mean you <i>kiss</i>?” asked Lailah, her eyes bright.</p><p>Aziraphale felt his cheeks heat again. “We do, yes.”</p><p>“Kissing is gross,” Nate said with a face of disgust. “Mummy and daddy do it all the time and it’s <i>gross</i>.”</p><p>“And I’ve told you, Nathaniel, that one day you’ll probably find someone <i>you</i> want to kiss and you’ll think differently,” Celeste said patiently. </p><p>“How do you know Uncle Aziraphale?”</p><p>“They’re <i>boyfriends</i>. Duh.”</p><p>“Nate,” Gabriel said in a warning tone.</p><p>Crowley gave Aziraphale a quick smile. “I met your uncle on the first day of Kindergarten, when I was about your age.”</p><p>“You’ve been boyfriends for <i>fifty years</i>?!” Nate exclaimed. </p><p>“Now, really,” Aziraphale huffed over guffaws from Gabriel and stifled snickers from Celeste. “Just how old do you think I <i>am</i>?”</p><p>Nate didn't answer, his eyes still on Crowley. “Why do you wear sunglasses inside?”</p><p>“I have yellow eyes.”</p><p>“<i>Cool!</i>” said both children in chorus. </p><p>“Can we see?”</p><p>Crowley pulled off his glasses and folded them, sticking them in his pocket. </p><p>“Whoa,” said Lailah. </p><p>“Do you like video games?”</p><p>“I do, when I get to play.”</p><p>“Do you like ponies?” Lailah asked excitedly. </p><p>“I think ponies are very nice.” </p><p>“Do you like <i>kids</i>?”</p><p>Crowley grinned. “I do, very much. I have a couple of nephews about your age and they’re two of my favorite people in the world.”</p><p>“Except Uncle Aziraphale.”</p><p>“Except Uncle Aziraphale,” he agreed. </p><p>“Are you going to <i>marry</i> Uncle Aziraphale?”</p><p>Aziraphale’s heart stopped for a moment and he glanced at Crowley - who looked calm and collected. </p><p>“I hope to someday, yes.” </p><p>“Are <i>you</i> gonna have kids?”</p><p>“Let’s take it one step at a time, kids,” Gabriel said diplomatically. </p><p>“So you’ll be our Uncle Crowley?”</p><p>“Yes, if you’d like that. Would that be alright with you?”</p><p>Nate and Lailah exchanged a glance, then Nate looked back at Crowley. “Yeah, I think so. Would you like to come see my island in Animal Crossing?”</p><p>“I can show you my ponies!”</p><p>“I’d love to,” Crowley said with a wide, genuine smile. </p><p>“Mum, can we be excused?”</p><p>Celeste gave a little shrug and a smile. “It’s fine by me. Crowley, are you sure you’re ready for this?”</p><p>“I’ll be fine,” he replied, still smiling.</p><p>“Very well. Off you pop,” Celeste said, and right away, two excited children bolted from their seat and ran around to Crowley, reaching for his hands. He smiled and dropped a quick kiss to Aziraphale’s cheek, then let himself be led away. Aziraphale watched him go, his heart full to overflowing with love.</p><p>“I thought Crowley was an only child?” Gabriel said. </p><p>“He is.”</p><p>“Then how does he have nephews?”</p><p>“They’re the children of his friend in New York. The title of ‘uncle’ is honorary.”</p><p>“Well, these two seem to have given their stamp of approval,” he said, droll. </p><p>Aziraphale whirled around and narrowed his eyes at him. “You and I need to have words.”</p><p>Gabriel just smirked. </p><p>“I’ll just let you two talk,” Celeste said, getting to her feet.</p><p>“Dinner was great, hon. Love you.”</p><p>“Yes, everything was lovely, Celeste.”</p><p>“Thank you. Aziraphale, remember that he’s your brother and you love him before you throttle him.”</p><p>“I promise to return him to you in one piece,” he said with a smile. </p><p>Celeste picked up baby Zach from the high chair and left the room. As soon as she was gone, he turned to Gabriel. </p><p>“I can’t <i>believe</i> you.”</p><p>“What did I do?”</p><p>“You know <i>exactly</i> what you did, you sneaky boor. <i>Cleaning a rifle</i>?”</p><p>“Ah, lighten up, Aziraphale. It was just a little harmless fun. A way to break the ice, and a story to tell at your wedding.”</p><p>Aziraphale flushed a little. “You had no right.”</p><p>“I’m thinking you’ll eventually forgive me for overstepping, if I did. But I maintain that I didn't.”</p><p>“Don’t get too cocky,” Aziraphale sniffed. </p><p>Gabriel grinned. “Don’t you want to know how our talk went?”</p><p>“I’m terrified to ask.”</p><p>“Well, first, I apologized.”</p><p>Aziraphale’s eyes widened. “You did?”</p><p>“I did. I told you I was going to.”</p><p>“What did he say?” Aziraphale asked, although he was sure this would be a topic of conversation on the ride home. </p><p>“He was very gracious about it.”</p><p>“Well, that’s good,” he said, for lack of anything better to say. </p><p>“He loves you, Aziraphale.”</p><p>His cheeks reddened again. “You presume too much.”</p><p>“I presume nothing. He told me.”</p><p>“He <i>did</i>?”</p><p>“Well, not exactly, but in so many words, yes.”</p><p>Aziraphale took a sip of his wine, flustered. He wanted to ask for details but didn’t dare. If Crowley wasn't willing to admit to being in love, perhaps it was because he actually <i>wasn’t</i>? Aziraphale didn’t like to think about that, so he pushed it aside. </p><p>“I gave him my blessing to marry you.”</p><p>“You did <i>what</i>?”</p><p>“I gave him my blessing to marry you.”</p><p>“Did he <i>ask</i> for your blessing?”</p><p>“No, but I gave it anyway.”</p><p>“Oh, you odious creature. I should go back on my promise not to throttle you. What’s that expression? You’re too big for your breeches.”</p><p>“Maybe. But I got what I wanted out of talking to him. He loves you, he wants to marry you, and he swore to me to take care of you.”</p><p>“I may never forgive you for this,” Aziraphale warned. </p><p>“You will,” Gabriel predicted. “You’ll be mad for a little while and then you’ll appreciate me.”</p><p>“You think too highly of yourself.”</p><p>“Sometimes. But not right now.”</p><p>There was laughter from the lounge, and Aziraphale wanted to go to Crowley, to be near him. It must have shown on his face because Gabriel gave him a smile and a wave. </p><p>“Go ahead and go,” he said. “I know you want to.”</p><p>Aziraphale lay his napkin down beside his plate and left before his brother could say anything else.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Remember that sign from a couple of weeks ago: boner land ahead? Well, it applies to this week, too. Enjoy the next two updates full of fluffy smut! <strike>because we’re getting to the angsty bits after this</strike></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>Saturday, 22 August</i>
</p><p>Crowley was in his office building on Saturday afternoon, on the thirtieth floor, killing time until he could pick up Aziraphale to go car shopping as planned. He’d already completed as much work today as he could get done, but when he’d gotten to a stopping point, he’d still had an hour left to kill before the shop closed and he could pick Aziraphale up. Part of him wanted to go hang around the shop, just to be close to Aziraphale, but he elected instead to use the time to do some birthday shopping for his beloved, searching for rare books Aziraphale may be interested in. He wasn’t having much luck so far, but felt sure he’d strike gold soon.</p><p>His eyes fell on the two plants he’d brought with him to work this morning: the spider plant and the chinese evergreen. He intended to take them to Aziraphale today, for Aziraphale to keep in his flat or his shop, hoping that they’d make him smile and remember Crowley when he looked at them. But he had a bit of an ulterior motive, too: much as his ex had been attempting to do, he wanted to integrate himself more fully into Aziraphale’s life. And he didn’t want to do it slowly - he wanted to move in with Aziraphale <i>now</i>. He had been planning to tell Aziraphale he loved him on Thursday, at the Ritz, on his fortieth birthday, and was seriously considering proposing that night, too, or maybe when they were in Paris next weekend. It was very early to be doing all this, he knew. They’d only been a couple for three weeks. But Crowley had been in love with Aziraphale for the better part of his life, and they’d lost so much time together. He didn’t want to waste another second. He knew how <i>he</i> felt about Aziraphale, and he felt reasonably confident that Aziraphale loved him, too. In fact, he <i>knew</i> he did. He had his mother’s and Gabriel’s blessing. So why should he wait? There was no good reason to. </p><p>He decided in that moment that he <i>wouldn’t</i>. He was going to propose to Aziraphale within the next seven days, and they were going to get their lives started together. </p><p>Smiling to himself, Crowley opened a new browser window and started searching for engagement rings. </p><p>A couple of minutes later, his mobile went off beside him. </p><p>Aziraphale:<i> Thinking of you. x</i></p><p>Crowley smiled and typed a response. </p><p>Crowley: <i>Oh? What are you thinking? </i><br/>Aziraphale: <i>About getting my hands on you. </i></p><p>He hadn’t been expecting <i>that</i>, but wasn’t opposed to it at all. Before he could formulate a proper, witty response, though, another message came in. </p><p>Aziraphale: <i>What are you doing?</i><br/>Crowley: <i>shopping</i><br/>Aziraphale: <i>Anything interesting?</i><br/>Crowley: <i>It’s too close to your birthday to be asking questions like that ;)</i></p><p>Aziraphale sent back the pouty face emoji and Crowley laughed. </p><p>Crowley: <i>Don’t worry, angel. You’ll know soon enough.</i><br/>Aziraphale: <i>I’m impatient.</i><br/>Crowley: <i>Yes, you are. But you only have a few days to wait. You can do it.</i><br/>Aziraphale:<i> I hope you’re right.</i><br/>Crowley: <i>Are you still willing to go car shopping with me this afternoon?</i><br/>Aziraphale: <i>Of course I am. Although…</i><br/>Crowley: <i>Although what?</i><br/>Aziraphale:<i> I don’t know how I can get through the entire afternoon of car shopping with you when all I can think about is sucking you off.</i></p><p>Crowley felt a full-body thrill and his cock twitched. </p><p>Crowley: <i>All you’re able to think about, huh?</i><br/>Aziraphale: <i>Well, no, that’s not entirely true.</i><br/>Aziraphale: <i>I’m also thinking about bending you over and fucking you until you scream.</i></p><p>“Jesus, angel,” Crowley muttered. </p><p>Crowley: <i>Jesus. Are you serious?</i><br/>Aziraphale: <i>Very. It's all I’ve been able to think about all day.</i><br/>Crowley: <i>I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but I like it.</i><br/>Aziraphale: <i>Good, because you make me this way. And I’ll tell you what’s going to be getting into *you* later - me.</i></p><p>Suddenly, Crowley had no desire to shop for cars. All he wanted was to go to Aziraphale and make the angel follow through on what he was saying. He glanced at the time: the shop closed in thirty minutes. Could he wait that long? He honestly didn’t know.</p><p>Aziraphale:<i> I have to admit to being indecisive, believe it or not. I want to suck you until you come down my throat, but on the other hand, I want you to come while I’m fucking you.</i></p><p>Crowley swallowed hard, his cock stiffening further. </p><p>Crowley:<i> We may not get to shop for a car today after all.</i><br/>Aziraphale: <i>That would be a tragedy.</i><br/>Aziraphale: <i>I’d have to make it up to you with several orgasms.</i></p><p>Crowley whimpered out loud. </p><p>Crowley: <i>Stay right there. I’m on my fucking way.</i></p><p>Without another word, he closed his laptop, grabbed the plants, and bolted out the door, single minded in the intent to get to his love as soon as possible.</p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div>“What are these for?” Aziraphale asked twenty minutes later when Crowley came striding into the shop, carrying the spider plant and the chinese evergreen. <p>“Well, hello to you, too, angel,” Crowley teased. He had calmed down somewhat and no longer felt like he was going to climb Aziraphale like a tree. Not at the moment, anyway. </p><p>Aziraphale smiled and pressed a quick kiss to Crowley’s lips. It still thrilled him so much that they could <i>do</i> that, that it was allowed. </p><p>“Hello, darling. Now, what are the plants for?”</p><p>“They’re for you. I thought they might look nice in here,” he said, sitting them down on the counter. </p><p>“I’m afraid I’ll kill them.”</p><p>“Don’t worry, I’m going to be here enough that I’ll be able to help you out.”</p><p>Aziraphale’s eyes twinkled. “You are, are you?”</p><p>“Mhm.” Crowley looked around the shop. “Is Newt here?”</p><p>“No, he went home an hour ago.”</p><p>“Have you got any customers?”</p><p>“No, it’s been a slow day.”</p><p>“Good,” Crowley said, then grabbed him and kissed him thoroughly. Aziraphale let it go for a minute, then gently pushed Crowley back with a smile. </p><p>“Not right now, dear.”</p><p>“But--”</p><p>“The shop is still open for another seven minutes.”</p><p>Crowley stepped over to him, putting his hands on his hips and nibbling at his earlobe. “You can close a few minutes early, can’t you?”</p><p>Aziraphale was still smiling when he gently pushed Crowley away again. “Later, my darling. I promise.”</p><p>“You’re a tease, Aziraphale Fell,” Crowley pouted. “A filthy, dirty <i>tease</i>.”</p><p>“It’s not a tease if you do what you say you’re going to do, which I fully intend to do. Now, behave yourself for six minutes. You can do it. Why don’t you go see if I have any books in stock about the care and feeding of these particular plants?”</p><p>“You want me to look for a <i>book</i> right now?”</p><p>“Yes, that would be most helpful. Something that could help me care for them. Or you could glance through the travel books for Paris, since we’re leaving in less than a week. If looking for a book doesn’t appeal to you, perhaps you could help me place Max and Stella.”</p><p>“Max and Stella?”</p><p>“That’s what I’ve decided to call them. This is Max,” he said, gesturing to the chinese evergreen, “and this is Stella. Now be a dear while I wait for the shop to close.” </p><p>Cowley muttered, but wandered off to find the horticulture section as he’d been requested to see if there were any books that may help Aziraphale, praying that there wouldn’t be any customers. </p><p>Four minutes later, he spotted Aziraphale walk by, towards the front of the shop, and heard him lock the door. A second later, he heard the till open and the unmistakable sound of Aziraphale counting the deposit. Crowley tried to concentrate on the books, he really did, but all he could think about was Aziraphale. Christ, he just loved the angel so much. So fucking much. </p><p>He was lost in a daydream of getting down on one knee to propose and trying to decide whether to do it Thursday or in Paris when Aziraphale peeked his head around the corner of the aisle. </p><p>“Crowley, dear, I’m going to the back room to put the deposit in. Would you like to see it?”</p><p>“Yeah,” he said, reshelving the book. “I would.”</p><p>He followed Aziraphale to the back of the store, letting his eyes linger on his perfect, round arse, and he couldn’t prove it, but he felt sure Aziraphale was wiggling his hips enticingly, on purpose. The next thing he knew, they’d passed through a curtained doorway into what was clearly a storage room/office. There were bookshelves lining the walls here, too, but unlike the front, there were lots and lots of boxes scattered around, as well as a rolltop desk in the corner. Against one wall was an antique-looking couch, covered with a blanket, and Crowley wondered if Aziraphale slept there sometimes. </p><p>“This is nice,” he said, for lack of anything better to say. </p><p>“Thank you,” Aziraphale replied easily, putting the money into a small, hidden safe in the corner, then closing it. With a little Mona Lisa smile on his face and without a word, he spun the knob on the safe, got to his feet, and came over to Crowley. Crowley barely had time to react before Aziraphale had his hands buried in Crowley’s hair, his mouth pressed to Crowley’s, kissing him eagerly. Crowley didn't hesitate and kissed him back hard, his arms going around the angel to pull his body close to his. Within seconds, his cock was hard to the point of throbbing and he could feel Aziraphale’s cock against his hip, hard and insistent. </p><p>Aziraphale reached between them to cover Crowley’s prick, and Crowley couldn't help but thrust into his hand. The blond man started to stroke him through his trousers, pumping him lightly, and Crowley keened into his mouth. </p><p>“I’ve decided something,” Aziraphale said in a low voice, while Crowley ground helplessly into his hand and sucked his neck, marking him again. </p><p>“What’s - what’s that?” </p><p>“Remember how I said I was torn between having you come in my mouth or come when I was fucking you?”</p><p>Crowley closed his eyes a moment. “Yeah?”</p><p>“I’ve decided I want both. I want you to come in my mouth right now, and then come again tonight, when I fuck you.”</p><p>“Ngk.” </p><p>“Is that alright?”</p><p>“Yes, fuck, yes. Anything you want to do, it’s alright.”</p><p>“Very good. And you’ll talk to me while I suck you?”</p><p>“Yes, yes, anything,” Crowley promised. </p><p>Aziraphale grinned and pressed one more kiss to his mouth, hot and urgent, then dropped to his knees. Crowley’s eyes followed him, watching as Aziraphale went to work in earnest with deft fingers on his button and zip. It didn’t take long before he had opened Crowley’s trousers and had his hand wrapped around his prick, pulling it out and pumping. </p><p>“You're so lovely, dear,” he crooned, his voice like butter. “Your cock is simply the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. You want me to suck you, dearest?”</p><p>Crowley nodded vigorously, near speechless. “Please.”</p><p>“Anything you want, my darling…”</p><p>With that, he opened his mouth and licked a stripe from Crowley’s bollocks to the tip of his cock, swirling his tongue around the head. Crowley hissed a breath and reached out for something to support himself, since his knees were suddenly weak. There was a wall behind him, and he leaned against it gratefully. </p><p>“Angel, <i>fuck</i>...”</p><p>“Yes, dear?” Aziraphale asked coyly. </p><p>“More, please.”</p><p>“You can have anything you like, my darling. I’ll give you anything you want.”</p><p>With that, he opened his mouth and engulfed Crowley’s prick, sucking hard right off the bat. Crowley let out a broken, ragged sound, clenching his hands into fists beside him. It only took a second before Aziraphale had established a fantastic rhythm, bobbing his head on Crowley, his cheeks hollowing with every upstroke. Aziraphale moaned happily, the same sound he made when he ate something delicious, and Crowley moaned, too. </p><p>“Shit, angel. Your mouth is so hot… <i>shit!</i>”</p><p>Aziraphale grabbed Crowley’s hands and put them on his head, then reached up and gripped Crowley’s hips, encouraging him to move. Crowley groaned again, but followed the clear direction, winding his fingers through the blond curls and starting to thrust gently, carefully. </p><p>The slurping sounds and little moans of appreciation Aziraphale was making were deafening in the quiet of the closed shop, and Crowley <i>loved</i> them. He clenched his hands a little tighter and thrust a little harder. </p><p>“Aziraphale, oh, angel, it feels so good… <i>Fuck!</i> Your mouth is the best thing I’ve ever felt and I love it so much… <i>Jesus.</i> Take me deeper, please…”</p><p>Aziraphale opened his mouth wide and did as requested, taking Crowley deeper until he felt himself hit the back of Aziraphale’s throat. Crowley let out a needy sound he couldn’t help and his hands tightened on Aziraphale’s head as he thrust some more, unable to stop himself. </p><p>“Angel, angel, <i>shit!</i> I’m so close… gonna come for you…” </p><p>Aziraphale sped up the motions of his head, bobbing more vigorously, making garbled sounds in his throat that vibrated Crowley <i>just right.</i> </p><p>“Yes… yes… here I come… oh, <i>fuck</i>... here I come! Ah! Ah!” he cried then erupted, spilling his seed into Aziraphale’s mouth. His vision whited out and he was aware only of the sensations of his orgasm, waves of ecstasy washing over him as his cock emptied across Aziraphale’s tongue. </p><p>He was out of breath when he came back to his senses, his hands still clutched in the blond hair, bent over Aziraphale’s head. The angel was licking and kissing his cock lovingly, guiding him through his aftershocks, and Crowley slowly, unsteadily, straightened himself to standing, releasing his grip on his beloved’s hair. Aziraphale finished licking him clean and Crowley watched with wide, unblinking eyes as he carefully tucked Crowley back in, rezipped his trousers, then got to his feet. </p><p>As soon as he was close enough, Crowley pulled him into a needy, messy kiss. He could taste himself in Aziraphale’s mouth, and it made him nearly wild. </p><p>“Holy <i>shit</i>, angel,” he said when the kiss broke a minute later. </p><p>Aziraphale grinned at him. “Was that good?”</p><p>“You just sucked my brain out through my cock.”</p><p>The angel gave a wicked chuckle and pressed a kiss to his lips. “Good. That was my goal.”</p><p>Crowley reached between them to touch his hard cock. “So can I return the favor?”</p><p>“Not right now,” Aziraphale said teasingly, pulling himself out of Crowley’s grip. “You have to go buy a car.”</p><p>“But—“ he started to protest, but Aziraphale cut him off with another quick kiss. </p><p>“Let’s go buy a car, then we’ll come back to mine and I’ll fuck you until we’re both senseless.”</p><p>“Do you promise?”</p><p>Aziraphale grinned. “I swear.”</p><p>Crowley grabbed him by the hand. “Then let’s go.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Chapter 22</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Crowley attacked as soon as they stepped through the doorway into Aziraphale’s flat, slamming him up against the wall and kissing him almost angrily. Aziraphale was surprised at first but hardly should have been - he’d spent the last several hours while they were car shopping teasing Crowley mercilessly with light touches, whispered, filthy suggestions, and even a few naughty texts when the salesman was around. He’d wanted to wind Crowley up, hoping for something like this, but all afternoon and evening, while they were shopping, Crowley had maintained a cool exterior. Aziraphale had finally given up, figuring he had failed, but Crowley situating his thigh between Aziraphale’s legs and grinding his cock against his led him to believe that he’d been most successful, after all. He’d have smiled, proud of himself, but his mouth was otherwise engaged and full of Crowley’s tongue. </p><p>“You’ve been teasing me all day,” Crowley accused in a low growl against the skin of Aziraphale’s throat, between sucking kisses. </p><p>“I’ve told you,” Aziraphale replied breathlessly. “It's not a tease if I follow through.”</p><p>Crowley’s hands were clenched in his bum, guiding him to roll his hips against Crowley. “Are you going to follow through?”</p><p>“Oh, my darling, <i>yes</i>.”</p><p>They were kissing again, tongues at war with each other, and Aziraphale clung to Crowley. He wanted so much, he wanted <i>everything</i>, and he wanted it <i>now</i>.</p><p>Determined to get to a bed, Aziraphale pushed them off the wall, lips still locked, and they started a shuffle down the hall that was both quick and tediously slow. Their hands were feverishly working on buttons between them and they left various articles of clothing in a trail as they moved together. By the time they reached the bedroom door, both men were shirtless and Crowley had his hand down Aziraphale’s pants, wrapped around his cock. </p><p>When they entered the bedroom, Aziraphale pulled himself out of Crowley’s grasp gently, giving his lover a seductive smile, crossing the room backwards to the bed. With their eyes locked, Aziraphale toed off his shoes and went to work on his trousers and pants, making himself naked. Crowley watched with burning, yellow eyes.</p><p>“What do you want, Crowley?” he asked as he unbuckled his belt. </p><p>Crowley’s chest was heaving, and his hands were flexed into claws beside his body. “I want what I’ve been promised all day - I want you to fuck me.”</p><p>“But <i>how</i> do you want me to fuck you? Do you want me to take you slowly and sweetly? To make love to you? Or do you want me to bend you over and fuck you, hard and fast?”</p><p>“First of all, sweetheart, it’s <i>all</i> making love with you. That’s all it could ever be.”</p><p>Aziraphale felt a thrill that had nothing to do with sex. “Is that so?”</p><p>“Yes, that’s so. But secondly, I don’t know if I could take it if you were to make love to me slow and sweet tonight. Not after the way you’ve been teasing me all day.”</p><p>“So you want it hard and fast?”</p><p>“I just want <i>you</i>, angel. I <i>need</i> you.”</p><p>Aziraphale dropped his trousers and pants, letting them pool around his ankles, and was gratified when Crowley’s eyes went to his cock. </p><p>“Take off your clothes, Crowley. Get naked for me.”</p><p>Crowley rushed to obey, and Aziraphale stroked himself lightly, watching his movements as he stepped out of his trousers and pulled off his socks. When Crowley was as naked as he was, he crooked his finger with a smile. </p><p>“Come here, dearheart.”</p><p>Crowley was across the room in an instant, his arms wrapped around Aziraphale, holding him close, kissing him desperately. Aziraphale held on just as tight, his fingers digging into the skin of Crowley’s back, relishing the wonderful feeling of warm skin against his. He still felt a vague sense of disbelief that he was able to have this, that Crowley was his and his alone. </p><p>They shuffled again, towards the bed, and Aziraphale sat when the mattress hit the back of his legs, breaking the kiss. Crowley didn't let that stand for long before he’d recaptured Aziraphale’s mouth. They moved together, somewhat awkwardly, to the head of the bed, until they were lying side by side, bellies together, hands roaming. Aziraphale reached between them and wrapped his hand around Crowley’s cock, making his lover hiss into his mouth. </p><p>“Fuck, your hand feels so good, angel…”</p><p>“Mmm, your cock feels good, too. Would you like for me to give it some attention?”</p><p>“Angel, <i>please</i>...”</p><p>“Please what?”</p><p>“I need you to fuck me soon. I may explode if you don’t. <i>Please</i>, sweetheart…”</p><p>Aziraphale smirked. “Well, we wouldn’t want you to <i>explode</i>, would we? How do you want me to fuck you? From behind? Missionary? Would you like to ride me?”</p><p>Crowley whined. “Can’t I do them all?”</p><p>“We can certainly try,” Aziraphale replied with a grin. “Why don’t you go on your hands and knees first? We can change positions in a bit, if you’d like.”</p><p>“Yes. Yes. Fuck yes. Okay.”</p><p>Aziraphale kissed him lingeringly. “Go on, hands and knees. Present yourself to me.”</p><p>Crowley got into position hurriedly, pulling away from Aziraphale and getting to his hands and knees. While he was doing that, Aziraphale reached into the nightstand and withdrew the bottle of lubricant, then with deliberate motions, raining kisses all over bare skin and smoothing hands all over Crowley’s body, he positioned himself behind his love. Crowley’s bum looked like the most luscious peach, and Aziraphale discarded the lubricant for the moment and slid his hands over his arse. </p><p>Two days before, Crowley had treated Aziraphale to his very first rimjob, and Aziraphale had found the experience to be beyond pleasurable. He had still never given one, but found that for the first time in his life, he very much wanted to. He debated with himself for only a second before he used his thumbs to part Crowley’s cheeks and dove in, tongue first. </p><p>“Angel!” Crowley shouted, his whole body gone tense, but Aziraphale didn’t let up. He licked Crowley voraciously, unsure of his technique but eager to please. He swirled his tongue around Crowley’s hole, surprised to find that he enjoyed the taste, massaging it the way he would with his fingers soon. Crowley shouted and moaned and begged, and Aziraphale was very pleased with the effect he was having on him. </p><p>“Angel, angel, <i>shit!</i> Feels so good… Ah! Ah! Please… more!”</p><p>Aziraphale was making a terrible mess, saliva smearing and dripping everywhere, but he didn’t care. All that mattered in the world was the way Crowley was babbling and pleading and calling his name. He felt like a god. </p><p>He could have continued for hours, bringing Crowley that sort of pleasure, but he didn't miss when Crowley started chanting, “Please fuck me. Please fuck me.” Determined to give his love what he wanted, he licked a final broad stripe from the crease of his bollocks up to the top of his arse, then sat back from him, wiping his mouth on his arm distractedly. </p><p>“How did you like that, my dear?”</p><p>“Fucking <i>hell</i>, angel,” Crowley panted, his body trembling under Aziraphale’s hands. </p><p>“I’ll make you a deal. I’ll fuck you now, as hard and fast as you want, but you must promise to let me do that to you again sometime.” </p><p>“I promise, I swear. You can do that anytime you like. Just <i>please…</i>”</p><p>“Very well, dear,” Aziraphale said indulgently, reaching for the lubricant. He quickly slicked his fingers, then brought them to Crowley’s arse, seeking out his hole. </p><p>“Yesssss,” Crowley hissed. </p><p>“Do you like that?” Aziraphale asked, massaging the tight ring of muscle gently. </p><p>“I love it. I fucking love it, angel. Give me more.”</p><p>“Patience, my dear,” Aziraphale chided. </p><p>Slowly, gently, he massaged Crowley until he was able to slip his finger inside. The noise Crowley made when he did nearly undid him. He fucked Crowley on that one finger for a minute, letting it slide in and out. </p><p>“More, angel. Give me another.”</p><p>Aziraphale carefully did as asked of him and added a second finger, then started moving them to open Crowley up more. Crowley rocked back into his fingers, seeking more, and Aziraphale pressed sweet, soothing kisses to the globes of his bum and the small of his back as he fucked him, preparing him. </p><p>“More, angel. Please, more.”</p><p>“Do you want another finger or do you want me to fuck you?”</p><p>“Fuck me. Please, fuck me.”</p><p>“Whatever you want, my love.”</p><p>Aziraphale didn't even realize what he’d said, so intent on giving Crowley what he wanted. He got to his knees behind his love, fingers still buried, and slicked his cock one-handed. When he was satisfied that it was properly lubricated, he withdrew his fingers, earning a low whine from Crowley, and lined himself up at Crowley’s entrance. He paused for a moment to ask, “Are you ready, dear?”</p><p>“Please angel, <i>please</i>.”</p><p>Aziraphale didn’t need any further encouragement. He pressed forward, slowly but inexorably, until the head was inside, then he paused and started pressing kisses to Crowley’s back. “Are you alright?”</p><p>“I’m perfect. Better than. Never been better. <i>Please</i>, Aziraphale…”</p><p>Slowly, he started to push himself deeper, inch by inch. Crowley's head was bowed, hanging between his arms, and he was giving a long, unbroken moan from the back of his throat as Aziraphale claimed him. Aziraphale sprinkled his back with kisses and words of praise, not stopping until he was buried as far as he could go. </p><p>“Still with me?” he asked, his voice rough. </p><p>Crowley nodded. “I’m here, sweetheart. Fuck me, please.”</p><p>Aziraphale withdrew slowly, until only the head remained inside, then plunged back in, making Crowley whimper. He did it again, and again, then again, picking up speed and force with each thrust while Crowley cursed and whined and begged. </p><p>“Is that good for you?” Aziraphale asked, after he’d set a steady pace. </p><p>“Yes, <i>yes</i>, fuck. Give it to me harder.”</p><p>Aziraphale gripped his hips and intensified his thrusts, bent over his lover’s back, hungry for more contact. Between kisses, he spoke. “Look at you, Crowley. Look how sexy you are, how gorgeous. Do you like this? Do you like the way I’m fucking you?”</p><p>“Shit! Yes! Your cock is so good, so big and thick… I want more. I <i>need</i> more. I can never get enough of you, angel, never…”</p><p>“Well that’s good, because I can’t get enough of you either. Your arse feels so good around me, Crowley, so hot and tight. I could fuck you for hours. And you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”</p><p>“More, angel, please…”</p><p>Aziraphale sped up. The pressure was building at the base of his spine, his balls tightening, and he knew he was close. But he didn’t want to go over without Crowley. He’d promised, after all. </p><p>“Are you close, dear?”</p><p>“Yes! Ah! Ah! I’m going to come for you.”</p><p>Aziraphale released his hips and pulled him upright, so his back was pressed against Aziraphale’s front, fucking him all the while. He wrapped his arms around to hold him still for the fucking and bit down on his shoulder from the intensity. Crowley reached behind himself blindly to thread his fingers through Aziraphale’s hair with one hand, and the other clutched his hip. Aziraphale pressed a kiss to Crowley’s temple and reached around to grab his bobbing cock. </p><p>“Yes, angel, <i>yes</i>. Your cock is so good, it hits me just right… fuck…”</p><p>Aziraphale started pumping his cock at the same pace he was fucking him, doing his best to hold his own release in check, murmuring sweet nothings into Crowley’s ear. </p><p>“That’s it, Crowley. That’s it, my darling. Oh, fucking you is wonderful. Let go and come for me. Come for me, and I’ll fill your arse with my spend. Come, Crowley.”</p><p>Crowley released with a strangled cry, his cock spurting all over his abdomen and Aziraphale’s hand, his whole body spasming, his arsehole clenched tight around Aziraphale’s cock. Aziraphale gritted his teeth, trying to hold off, fucking him wildly. One thrust, two, then he came on the third, biting Crowley’s shoulder to muffle his cry as pleasure raced through him, lighting his senses on fire. </p><p>Slowly, so slowly, he floated down from his high, coming into his senses one by one. He was still clinging to Crowley, still buried inside him, and Crowley trembled in his arms. His heart was pounding under Aziraphale’s hand, and every little movement sent a little aftershock through him. Aziraphale just stayed still for the moment, basking in the afterglow. </p><p>Once he had some semblance of control over himself, he started pressing kisses all over the skin he could reach, devout, worshipful kisses that couldn't even come close to capturing the depth of his emotion. Crowley craned his neck to turn around, and Aziraphale met him in a satisfied, messy kiss. </p><p>He wanted to profess his love, he wanted to so badly, but he couldn’t. He was determined to let Crowley tell him first. So when the kiss broke, he didn't say anything. </p><p>“Thank you,” Crowley breathed against his lips, and Aziraphale smiled. </p><p>“You never have to thank me for that, Crowley. But you’re welcome.” <i>I love you.</i></p><p>He gave him one more kiss, then reluctantly released his arms from around Crowley’s body, withdrawing his cock from Crowley’s arse. They both moaned from the loss, and Crowley looked unsteady, but he reached over to the bedside table to withdraw a couple of tissues to clean himself up, turning to flop onto the bed. Aziraphale watched him and debated getting some tissues for himself, but when Crowley’s eyes locked with him, he had a wicked idea. With a naughty gaze, he raised his hand to his mouth and licked Crowley’s come off his fingers. </p><p>“<i>Jesus</i>, angel.”</p><p>“Hmm?” he said, all false innocence. </p><p>“If I hadn’t just come so hard I saw stars, that would have me coming again, just the sight of that.”</p><p>Aziraphale chuckled and made a show of sticking his finger in his mouth to clean it. Once he was done, he gave Crowley a naughty grin and laid down beside him. His back had barely touched the bed before he found himself tangled in Crowley’s long limbs. They moved together, getting situated, until they finally settled into position, with Crowley on his back and Aziraphale snuggled into his side. Aziraphale’s hand was resting over Crowley’s heart, and he made loving little circles on his beloved’s chest. </p><p>“Well, my dear, I have to say, that was the best sex I’ve ever had.” </p><p>Crowley gave a low chuckle. “You say that every time.”</p><p>“That’s because it’s <i>true</i> every time. I don’t know how, but making love to you only seems to get better and better.”</p><p>Crowley kissed the top of his head. “Good. But I have to admit, if it gets much better than this, I don’t think I’ll be able to handle it. I’ll just combust.” </p><p>“Oh, don’t do that. Think of the mess,” Aziraphale teased back. </p><p>“I’ll try not to,” Crowley laughed. </p><p>They lay in silence for a while, and Aziraphale was completely at peace. He’d never felt as <i>full</i> as he did in that moment. The only thing that could make it better, he thought, would be if he had the freedom to tell Crowley how much he truly loved him. But he couldn’t, not yet. He hoped those words would be welcomed, and even dared to dream they might be <i>returned</i>, but childishly, he wanted to hold out. He wanted Crowley to say them first. As soon as he did, Aziraphale intended to unleash an absolute tsunami of love on Crowley. He couldn’t wait. </p><p>“I forgot to tell you,” Crowley said a minute later, running his finger idly up and down Aziraphale’s bicep and shoulder. “I may have to go out of town soon.”</p><p>“Oh? Where to?”</p><p>“Nowhere exciting, just Edinburgh. And it’ll only be for a day or two. Maybe three.”</p><p>“Well, I’ll miss you when you’re gone,” he said, rubbing a circle on his chest, trying not to pout. </p><p>Crowley kissed his hair again. “I’ll miss you, too, sweetheart.”</p><p>“Will you have to travel much?”</p><p>“Not like I did in New York, no. Probably only a few trips a year. But you can go with me sometimes, if you want.”</p><p>“I’d like that,” he said with a smile. He hoped Crowley wouldn’t have to travel too much. He knew he’d be lost without him. How was it possible that only a month had passed since Crowley had come back into his life? It seemed like forever now, like he’d never been gone at all. Aziraphale didn’t understand how that was true, he just knew that it <i>was</i> true. And they were growing closer, it seemed. Crowley had started migrating his plants over to Aziraphale's place - just as his old girlfriend had done to him. The thought made him smile. </p><p>“What are you grinning at?”</p><p>“How do you know I’m smiling?”</p><p>“I can feel you against my shoulder.”</p><p>“Oh. Well, yes, I am.”</p><p>“Care to tell me what about?”</p><p>“You brought me plants today.”</p><p>“I did, yes. What about it?” Crowley asked, and under his hand, Aziraphale could feel his heart speed up. </p><p>“It just makes me happy that you’re becoming more comfortable in my space, is all,” he said. That was true enough. </p><p>“It does?” Crowley asked, craning his neck to look at Aziraphale. </p><p>Aziraphale lengthened his body to press a kiss to his lips. “It does. I’m thrilled by it. I only ask that you be around to help me take care of them. They’re living things, after all.”</p><p>“I plan on being around as much as you’ll let me be,” Crowley said, his yellow eyes earnest. </p><p>“Good. Because I want you around all the time.”</p><p>Crowley looked as if he were about to say something, and Aziraphale’s pulse accelerated. Was the moment now? Was he about to say the words Aziraphale was dying to hear? </p><p>The red haired man searched his face for a moment, then kissed Aziraphale’s lips again. “I’ll be here,” he said. </p><p>They resumed their snuggling position and lapsed back into silence for a bit. Aziraphale tried to tell himself that he shouldn’t be disappointed. It would happen, he thought. When the time was right, it would happen. </p><p>“Are you happy with your new car?” he asked to distract himself. </p><p>“I am,” Crowley replied, still tracing his fingertips up and down Aziraphale’s arm. “Are <i>you</i> happy with it?”</p><p>“I think it’s a lovely car, dear. I’m only sorry it’s not your dream car.”</p><p>“Nah, that’s alright. I’ll keep wishing and hoping and saving and watching auctions. One of these days, I’ll get my white whale.”</p><p>“Oh! Speaking of white whales,” Aziraphale said excitedly. “I forgot to tell you.”</p><p>“Tell me what?”</p><p>“It appears I may have found not one, but two of the first editions I’ve been looking for!”</p><p>“Really,” Crowley said, turning to look at Aziraphale interestedly. “Tell me.”</p><p>“There’s a bookseller named Robert Wilkins. He runs Wilkins Books here in town. He collects rare books, like me, and I know him casually. Well, he’s fallen into a bit of hard times, and he’s looking to sell some of his first editions. He’s got ‘The House On Pooh Corner’ and ‘The Portrait of Mr WH’. I’m currently in negotiations with him about price, and I’m <i>so excited</i>. I’m sorry he fell on hard times, of course, but over the moon to have a chance to get these books.”</p><p>“Are they in good shape?”</p><p>“According to Mr. Wilkins, they’re both in need of some minor repairs. Isn’t that <i>wonderful</i>?”</p><p>“That truly is, angel. I’m happy for you.”</p><p>Aziraphale wiggled happily. </p><p>“Wilkins Books, huh? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of it.”</p><p>“Oh, it’s a little, out of the way shop, much like mine. Except he doesn't have the good fortune to be in quirky little Soho, like me.” </p><p>“Yes, I imagine it is good fortune for you to be located where you are. Other areas of London probably don’t fare as well.”</p><p>“Indeed not. Oh, I do hope he’ll sell to me. I’ve got my heart set on acquiring these books.”</p><p>Crowley kissed his hair. “You’ll get them, angel. I’m sure of it.”</p><p>“I hope you’re right. So, my darling, what would you like to do tomorrow? We have the whole day to ourselves. You’re staying with me tonight, right?”</p><p>“Right, I am.”</p><p>“Would you like to go out for breakfast tomorrow or stay in?”</p><p>“Let’s go for crepes again. It can be our weekly indulgence.”</p><p>“That sounds lovely. What would you like to do tomorrow afternoon and evening?”</p><p>“Actually, angel, I’m going to have to abandon you for a little while tomorrow.”</p><p>Aziraphale raised his head, hurt. “You are?”</p><p>“I am. I have a bit of birthday shopping to do.”</p><p>“You don’t have to do anything for me, Crowley. You’re already taking me to Paris.”</p><p>“Of course I do, angel. It’s your fortieth and I’m your boyfriend. Let me dote on you a bit, will you?”</p><p>“Oh, alright. Just promise me you won’t be gone <i>too</i> long? I’d really hoped to spend the whole day together tomorrow,” he said with his lip jutting out a bit. </p><p>Crowley kissed him. “I promise to only be gone for as long as it takes to get your gifts, then I’ll be back with bells on. You have my word.” </p><p>“And maybe, while you’re out, you can stop by your flat and grab some work clothes so you can stay with me tomorrow night?” Aziraphale asked hopefully. </p><p>“Would you like that?”</p><p>“Oh, yes. Very much.”</p><p>He kissed him again. “Then that’s what I’ll do,” he said. “Now go to sleep, angel. I’ll be right here.”</p><p>Aziraphale smiled and settled back into his arms, content. A few minutes later, he was just about asleep when he thought he heard Crowley whisper something, but sleep claimed him before he could ask what it was.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Chapter 23</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>Sunday, 23 August</i>
</p>
<p>Crowley was whistling as he made his way down the pavement towards his car, a small bag in his hand. His shopping expedition had been very successful, and he was pleased. It hadn’t taken him long to locate Robert Wilkins of Wilkins Books and arrange a meeting. It had taken even less time to convince Mr. Wilkins to part with the two books Aziraphale had wanted. The words ‘money is no object, name your price’ had worked like a charm, and the two books had been packaged neatly and carefully. They were now stored in Crowley’s boot for the time being. He knew that Aziraphale would likely have a fit at the idea of his precious books in the boot of a car, but Crowley hadn’t had much choice - he’d had <i>other</i> shopping to attend to today, too. </p>
<p>That shopping, for an engagement ring, had taken a bit more time. He’d wanted to find the <i>perfect</i> ring for Aziraphale, and there had been lots and lots to choose from. He’d been to the three most well-respected jewelers in town until he'd found what he was looking for: a platinum band inset with small, bezel diamonds. He felt sure that Aziraphale would love it, and he’d bought two - one for himself and one for Aziraphale, so they could match after they became engaged. The two ring boxes were now sitting in the little paper bag in his hand, and Crowley was walking on sunshine. He’d never worn a ring in his <i>life</i>, but he was very much looking forward to wearing this ring - this ring that would mark him as Aziraphale’s fiancé. Thursday couldn’t come fast enough. </p>
<p>When he got to his car, he unlocked it and climbed inside, setting the rings in their little velvet boxes and posh paper bag on the passenger seat, giving them a smile. Then he cranked the car and pulled out into traffic. </p>
<p>“Call Fergus,” he said aloud, and Siri repeated the command back to him before he heard ringing through the speaker. The phone rang twice, then Fergus picked up. </p>
<p>“Hello?”</p>
<p>“Fergus!” Crowley said, a huge smile on his face. </p>
<p>“Crowley! How the hell are you?”</p>
<p>“I’m good. I’m <i>great</i>. How are you?”</p>
<p>“I’m good. I was just going to text you in a couple of hours if I hadn’t heard from you.”</p>
<p>“Well, here I am.”</p>
<p>“Here you are,” Fergus agreed. “What’s going on? How are things with Aziraphale?”</p>
<p>“They’re <i>perfect</i>. Better than perfect. That’s what I was calling to tell you about. Have you got a few minutes?”</p>
<p>“I’ve got all the time in the world. What’s up?”</p>
<p>“I just bought a ring.”</p>
<p>There was a silence on the other line, then Fergus said, “You did what?”</p>
<p>“I just bought an engagement ring, and unless you give me a truly compelling reason not to, I’m telling him I’m in love with him and asking him to marry me on his birthday Thursday night.”</p>
<p>Fergus was quiet a moment, and it made Crowley a little nervous in spite of himself. He knew what was about to happen. Fergus was going to try to ‘talk sense’ into him, but he doubted very seriously that he would be able to change Crowley’s mind. Still, he was a logical man and felt like he needed to hear counter arguments to what he planned to do. Fergus wouldn't intentionally steer him wrong. </p>
<p>“Crowley, you’ve only been back in the UK for a few weeks.”</p>
<p>“I’m aware.”</p>
<p>“And you’ve only been <i>dating</i> him for less than a month.”</p>
<p>“I’m aware of that, too.”</p>
<p>“I guess I’m just concerned you’re moving too fast.”</p>
<p>“It’s a fair concern. And if the shoe were on the other foot, I’d probably be advising caution, too. But I’m sure about this. I’ve never been more sure about <i>anything</i>.” </p>
<p>“Did I hear you say that you’re going to tell him you love him, too?”</p>
<p>Crowley grinned. “Yep,” he said, popping the p. </p>
<p>“Aren’t you concerned that’s going to be a bit much, all at once?”</p>
<p>“Not really. He loves me, too. I know he does. He’s just shy about telling me for some reason.” </p>
<p>“How sure are you of his feelings?”</p>
<p>“A thousand percent,” Crowley replied. “He loves me. I’m so sure of it.”</p>
<p>“Less than a month ago, you were afraid he may be repulsed by you and had no idea how he felt.”</p>
<p>“I was wrong, and now I’m sure.”</p>
<p>“Crowley…”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“You haven’t had time to think about this properly.” </p>
<p>Crowley couldn’t help but laugh. “I’ve been thinking about this for <i>years</i>.”</p>
<p>“Yes, but it was an abstract sort of thing. A ‘what if’. You haven’t had time to really sit with this relationship and let it bloom.”</p>
<p>“It’s already blooming. It’s like a garden in May, Fergus. An absolute riot of color.”</p>
<p>“What if he says no?” Fergus said. “What if he thinks this is all too fast? Or what if he doesn't <i>want</i> to get married?”</p>
<p>“That’s a chance I’m willing to take,” Crowley said, not letting on how those words discomfited him. </p>
<p>Fergus sighed. “Crowley…”</p>
<p>Crowley cut him off. “Look, I get what you’re saying and that you’re trying to help me. And I appreciate it. But this is something I’ve wanted since I was a kid - to be with Aziraphale. We lost seventeen years together while I was in New York, and I thought for the longest time that it would never happen. Now that it <i>has</i> happened, I’m not willing to wait another minute. I have the blessing of both our families, and I just can’t wait. I want to marry him <i>now</i>.”</p>
<p>“You have the blessing of both families?”</p>
<p>“Yes. My mother is in full support and has given her approval. We had dinner with Aziraphale’s brother and his family on Friday night, and he gave <i>his</i> blessing, too.”</p>
<p>“Did you <i>ask</i> for it?”</p>
<p>“No, not exactly. He asked me what my intentions were and I told him honestly that I intended to marry Aziraphale as soon as he’d say yes. Gabriel gave me his blessing right away.”</p>
<p>Fergus sighed again. “I guess that counts for something, since they can see you together and I can’t.”</p>
<p>“I wish you could. But Fergus, I promise you, If you <i>could</i> see us together, you’d be helping me plan my proposal.”</p>
<p>“Is there <i>nothing</i> I can say that will convince you to wait a little while? At least a couple of months? Maybe you could propose for Christmas.”</p>
<p>“Nope. By Christmas, I intend to be actively planning a wedding - if I haven't married him already. <i>Trust</i> me on this one, Fergus. I know what I’m doing.”</p>
<p>“I suppose all I can do is trust you, isn’t it? I just worry you’re going to get yourself hurt.”</p>
<p>“Can you at least be a <i>little</i> happy for me?”</p>
<p>“I am, Crowley. I swear to God, I am. I’m just afraid that this isn’t going to go the way you hope.”</p>
<p>“It’s going to go perfectly, Fergus. I’m so sure of it.”</p>
<p>“Well, tell me about your plans, then.”</p>
<p>So Crowley did. He detailed what he’d bought and what he’d planned, and Fergus offered a couple of small suggestions. When he was done, he asked, “What do you think?”</p>
<p>“It sounds like you’ve put a lot of thought into this.”</p>
<p>“I have.”</p>
<p>“I assume you’re going to be calling your families on Thursday night, after it happens, to tell them about it?”</p>
<p>“I’d reckon so.”</p>
<p>“Call me, too, please. I’m going to be on pins and needles for you until then.”</p>
<p>Crowley smiled. “There’s no need to be nervous, Fergus. I’m sure. But for now, I need to go. I’m almost to my flat and need to put these gifts inside so I can get back to his.” </p>
<p>“Alright. Thank you for calling me, Crowley. And I guess I’ll hear from you Thursday.”</p>
<p>“You will. One way or the other. Next time you talk to me, I’ll be engaged.”</p>
<p>“I hope so. You have fun with your intended, and I’ll talk to you Thursday.”</p>
<p>“Talk to you then. And thank you, Fergus.”</p>
<p>“No problem.”</p>
<p>They rang off and Crowley shook off the vaguely unsettled feeling he had. Fergus was just playing devil’s advocate. Crowley had <i>expected</i> him to do that, to try to poke holes in his plan. It was fine. He was absolutely sure this was going to work, and everything would be wonderful. </p>
<p>Smiling to himself, he spent the rest of the drive to his flat practicing what to say to tell Aziraphale he loved him and ask his hand in marriage.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div><i>Thursday, 27 August</i><p>Aziraphale was smiling as he made his way down the pavement to Tracy’s shop on Thursday afternoon. It was his birthday, and although it was only midafternoon, it had been a <i>wonderful</i> day so far. He’d had the very great pleasure to wake up this morning to Crowley pressing kisses to his shoulder and singing ‘Happy Birthday’ softly into his ear. They’d made love, then showered together and had breakfast before Crowley had left with a kiss to go to work, promising to pick him up at the shop for their date to the Ritz tonight. Aziraphale had spent the time between Crowley leaving and opening the shop packing for Paris, since he suspected he wouldn’t have much time tonight and they were leaving around lunchtime tomorrow. He’d opened the shop and had unusually pleasant interactions with customers until Newt had come in, then Gabriel had arrived as planned to take him to lunch for his birthday. They’d had a lovely meal, and Aziraphale hadn’t been back at the shop for very long before it had been time to leave for tea with Tracy at three. He’d almost considered ringing his friend and begging off, but suspected that doing so would hurt her feelings. So here he was now, on his way, contemplating what a wonderful day it had been so far. </p>
<p>The door to Tracy’s shop opened with a jingle and he strode in. Tracy was behind the counter, and her face broke into a wide smile when she saw him. </p>
<p>“There he is! The birthday boy!” she said, rounding the counter. </p>
<p>Aziraphale laughed. “Yes, I suppose that’s me today.”</p>
<p>She stepped over to him with a smile and he gave her the standard greeting: taking both hands into his and kissing her cheeks. “You’re looking radiant, Tracy.”</p>
<p>“Why, thank you. You go ahead and have a seat at our usual table. Anathema is with a client right now, so I’ll have to get the tea and scones.”</p>
<p>“Oh, no scones today, dear. I’m still full from lunch.”</p>
<p>“Are you sure? They’re cherry.”</p>
<p>“Yes, I’m sure.”</p>
<p>“Alright. Go have a seat and I’ll be right there.”</p>
<p>Aziraphale obediently went to his usual seat, and within ninety seconds, Tracy was there carrying a tray with a teapot, two cups - and a single cupcake with a lit candle in it. </p>
<p>“Oh, Tracy.”</p>
<p>“Happy Birthday, Zira. I won’t punish you by singing, but the sentiment is the same. Make a wish!”</p>
<p>Like a child, Aziraphale closed his eyes and made a wish. <i>I wish Crowley would tell me he loves me</i>. Then he blew out the candle with a smile. </p>
<p>“Thank you, dear,” he said. “You’re too kind.”</p>
<p>“You’re very welcome.”</p>
<p>“Will you help me eat it? I really am very full from lunch.”</p>
<p>“It would be my pleasure. Let me get a couple of forks.”</p>
<p>She retrieved two forks while Aziraphale poured the tea, and when she returned, they settled into their routine. </p>
<p>“How has your birthday been?”</p>
<p>“Oh, it’s been very nice. Crowley and I had breakfast, then Gabriel took me to lunch, now I’m here with you.”</p>
<p>“And Crowley is taking you to a special dinner tonight?”</p>
<p>“Yes, we’re going to the Ritz.”</p>
<p>“The Ritz! Blimey, that’s posh.”</p>
<p>“I know. I’m very excited.”</p>
<p>“And you’re going to Paris this weekend?”</p>
<p>“We are. We leave tomorrow at noon.”</p>
<p>“A whirlwind trip to Paris is <i>so</i> romantic. And going to the Ritz! It sounds like he’s planning a grand gesture.”</p>
<p>Aziraphale laughed. “I think dinner and Paris <i>are</i> the grand gesture, dear.”</p>
<p>“Hmm. We’ll see,” Tracy said, her eyes twinkling. “How has the rest of your week been?”</p>
<p>“Honestly, it’s been a <i>wonderful</i> week. Crowley has spent the night with me most of the last few nights, and I very much enjoy having him around.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I just bet you do,” Tracy teased, and Aziraphale flushed. </p>
<p>“Oh, stop. The rest of the week has been just as lovely. Newt hasn't brought down my registers a single time, and business has been brisk. The only down note…”</p>
<p>“Go on.”</p>
<p>“Well, I was negotiating for the purchase of two books that I very much wanted. I thought I’d worked out a deal and had them in my grasp. But the seller, Mr. Wilkins, suddenly began stiff-arming me. No matter how much I offered him, he refused to sell. I have no idea why, but it’s been a bit of a disappointment.”</p>
<p>“I imagine so. I’m sorry, Zira. Maybe you can find them from another seller?”</p>
<p>“I suppose so. I had just had my heart set on owning these two now, and I’m impatient.”</p>
<p>“You’ll get them someday.”</p>
<p>“I hope so.”</p>
<p>“So things with Crowley are good?”</p>
<p>“Yes, very.”</p>
<p>“Good. That’s what your aura is saying.”</p>
<p>“Well, I would be lying if I said there are no more fears or hesitations. But I have to admit, they’re not as intense as they used to be.”</p>
<p>“Yes, there’s still some orange, but it’s looking much better.”</p>
<p>They were interrupted when Anathema appeared at the table. “Hello, Aziraphale. Happy birthday!”</p>
<p>“Thank you, dear,” he answered with a smile. </p>
<p>“Anathema, are you ready to do Zira’s reading?”</p>
<p>“Ready and willing,” Anathema said. </p>
<p>“You really don’t have to do this,” Aziraphale tried, knowing it was futile. </p>
<p>“We know we don’t <i>have</i> to, but we <i>want</i> to.” </p>
<p>“Besides, I need the practice,” Anathema said brightly with a smile. </p>
<p>“Oh alright,” he sighed, giving in. This would be a waste of time, but what harm could it do? He didn’t believe in this mess, but it wouldn’t hurt to humor them. He couldn't see a legitimate reason not to let them do the reading, so he gave a smile. “Where do you want me?”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div>Five minutes later, he was seated at a table in the occult part of the shop he never saw, behind the gauzy curtain. Across from him was Anathema and Tracy was to his left. He felt very silly, but was trying his best to be a good sport.<p>“Shuffle the cards, please,” Anathema said, offering him the deck. He took them obediently, shuffled them, and handed them back. </p>
<p>“Is a horseshoe spread alright with you?” she asked. </p>
<p>“A horseshoe spread?”</p>
<p>“It’s just a way of laying out the cards and reading them,” Tracy explained. </p>
<p>“I like it because it gives you information and allows you to make decisions,” Anathema supplied. “It shows you where you’ve been as well as where you could end up, but it’s up to you how to proceed.”</p>
<p>“I think that sounds lovely, dear,” Aziraphale said as pleasantly as he was able. </p>
<p>Anathema smiled. “Great. The first three cards are your past, present, and future.” She flipped three cards over, revealing their faces. “The first card, your past card, is the Two of Cups. This card suggests companionship almost as strong as the lovers. I’m guessing this is the recent past, as it suggests the time for being alone is gone, and the time for joining together is at hand.”</p>
<p>That sounded… eerily accurate to Aziraphale, and very encouraging. He thought warmly of Crowley. </p>
<p>She pointed to the second card. “Your next card, the present, is the Eight of Swords. Now, I know it looks scary, a bound and blindfolded woman with swords at her back, but it’s reversed. It’s telling you that presently, things are changing. The blindfold in the card can be removed so that you can see more of the opportunity to throw off what binds you and move towards success. The picture on this card helps you remember that sometimes things can look very scary, but still turn out alright once you look at them more clearly.”</p>
<p>Aziraphale processed this for a minute, but Anathema didn’t give him much time before she pointed to the third card. </p>
<p>“Your third card, in the future position, is The Fool. Now, many people want to think this literally means they are foolish, but if you’ll notice, the image in the card is one of a happy young man and a dog. This is a card of new beginnings. It’s about moving forward in life. It reminds us that, though we cannot actually prepare for everything life throws our way, we can at least prepare to be pleasantly surprised.”</p>
<p>Once again, that sounded good to Aziraphale, and he thought of Crowley. Pleasant surprises were very nice. </p>
<p>“Now, here is where the real work begins: the attitude towards question card.” She flipped it. “Two of Swords. It indicates that you are caught between what you want and what you think. This can mean a lot of things, but when we look at the previous cards, it seems pretty clear to me where this is headed. The figure in the card is blindfolded, holding two swords. You aren’t seeing things clearly, yet you’re still trying to make decisions without knowing the landscape. Sometimes that’s necessary, as we don’t always know what something means until after the fact, but perhaps in this case, it doesn’t need to be that way. The information is there if you’ll just allow yourself to see it.”</p>
<p>Aziraphale was discomfited, and still thinking of Crowley. What was he not seeing clearly? What was he not allowing himself to see? Automatically, his mind raced to the worst possible conclusion, but he did his best so shove it down. </p>
<p>“I think the cards are talking about your relationship, Zira,” Tracy offered. “With Crowley.”</p>
<p>“You think so?”</p>
<p>“I do.”</p>
<p>“But it’s all good, right?” he asked, his voice anxious.</p>
<p>She smiled kindly. “So far, the cards are predicting a happy life. I’d be pleased to get this reading.”</p>
<p>“Shall I go on?” Anathema asked. </p>
<p>“Yes, I’m sorry. Go on, dear.”</p>
<p>Anathema laid down two cards. “These two cards here, the Three of Pentacles in the influences position and along with the King of Cups in the obstacles position - this combination is where it gets a little complicated.”</p>
<p>“Complicated <i>how</i>?” Aziraphale asked, his anxiety rising. </p>
<p>“The Three of Pentacles suggests that effort is being made in the relationship, that you’re learning more about each other, and that’s good, usually.” </p>
<p>“Usually?”</p>
<p>“Here, it’s reversed. What this suggests is that you’re both trying, but it seems like one or both of you aren’t being completely realistic. There is more going on than you can see on the surface, and that does go along with the Two of Swords in the attitude position.”</p>
<p>“What does that mean?” Aziraphale demanded, his heart pounding against his will. “‘More going on beneath the surface’ - does that mean he’s lying to me? Deceiving me in some way?”</p>
<p>“Not necessarily, Zira,” Tracy said soothingly. </p>
<p>“<i>Not necessarily?</i>” he repeated, growing more upset.</p>
<p>“Try and relax, Zira. Let her finish.”</p>
<p>Aziraphale turned back to Anathema, deeply unsettled and his brow furrowed. He took a deep, cleansing breath. “Go on, dear.”</p>
<p>“When we look at the King of Cups in the obstacle position, it leads me to believe that this represents you, actually. That you’re your own obstacle. This card represents someone mature, fair, and full of heart. Someone who enjoys art, and doing the right thing. Normally, this card coming up might represent someone else in your life, but I’m getting a strong feeling that something about you is the obstacle being influenced by the previous card. I think you need to do some soul-searching about what you’re really seeing in your relationship. There’s something you’re not allowing yourself to see here.”</p>
<p>Aziraphale’s mind reeled. Something he wasn't allowing himself to see? What on earth could that <i>possibly</i> mean?</p>
<p>“Now for the final card,” she said, oblivious to his turmoil. “This position is the outcome most likely if you follow the advice you’ve been given with the rest of the cards.”</p>
<p><i>What advice?</i> Aziraphale wanted to demand. <i>What should I do?!</i></p>
<p>She flipped the card. “This is the Ten of Cups. I like cups for you. It suggests lots of love and support. This card suggests you allow yourself to trust in doing the right thing for the greater good.”</p>
<p>“But what <i>is<i> the right thing? What is Crowley hiding from me? What do I <i>do</i> about it?” he asked urgently, deeply distressed. </i></i></p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Zira, dear…”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“No, Tracy, she just told me things with Crowley are not what they seem. If they’re not what I believe them to be, what <i>are</i> they?”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Zira, your aura has gone chaotic again…”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Is it any wonder <i>why</i>?” he demanded. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“It might not be what you’re thinking, dear.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“What else could it <i>possibly</i> be? You’ve told me over and over for years that the cards never lie.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“They’re not to be taken quite so literally. They’re more of a guideline, really…”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“A guideline to what? Oh, I have more questions now than when I sat down. I never should have agreed to this,” he said miserably. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>Tracy shot Anathema a look, then put her hand on Aziraphale’s arm carefully. “Why don’t we leave Anathema to clear up and you and I will have a nice cup of tea, yes?”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>Aziraphale shook his head. “No. No, I think I need to go.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Zira, your aura has changed significantly in the last few minutes and I think we need to talk about it,” she said, looking concerned. </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“No,” he said, getting to his feet. “I need to be alone and think.” He plastered on a brittle smile. “Thank you so much for the lovely reading, Anathema. And Tracy, thank you for remembering my birthday.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Are you <i>sure</i> you won’t have that cup of tea?” </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“I’m quite sure. Crowley will be picking me up in a little while, and I need to brush this off before I go. Thank you very much, again. I hope you both have a lovely day.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>And with that, he was gone.</i>
  </i>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Crowley and Aziraphale's engagement rings look like this:<br/></p>
<p>Special thanks to CynSyn with the tarot reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Chapter 24</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aziraphale wasn’t able to concentrate on anything when he got back to the shop a short while later. All he was able to think about was the reading he’d just gotten, and what it may mean. </p><p><i>One or both of you aren’t being completely realistic</i>...</p><p>Well, of <i>course</i> that was him, he thought. It was the height of foolishness to hope that Crowley would love him the way he loved Crowley. How could he ever? Crowley was gorgeous and clever and witty and sexy and <i>perfect</i> in every way, and Aziraphale was just… Aziraphale. A portly bookseller in Soho, as exciting as watching paint dry. How could Crowley <i>ever</i> love him? </p><p>
  <i>There is more going on than what you can see on the surface...</i>
</p><p>He was sure that this meant Crowley had been deceiving him somehow - most likely by pretending or attempting to be in love with him when he actually <i>wasn’t</i>. Aziraphale had tried, he’d really <i>tried</i> to release his doubts and insecurities, but he’d never quite been able to. Now he knew why - because he’d had every good reason to doubt. It was all a lie. All of it. Crowley didn’t love him and was merely <i>pretending</i> to love him, in the hopes that one day, it would be real. He thought back over the last four weeks, to every kiss, every touch, every sweet nothing they’d shared… had they all been a ruse? Had he been a fool? It certainly seemed like he had, and he was <i>crushed</i>. He’d <i>meant</i> every moment with Crowley. Every kiss Aziraphale had given had been given with all the love in his heart. But Crowley had only been going through the motions. He’d been forcing himself to do this. And for what? For a stupid pact they’d made when they were kids. </p><p>
  <i>I think you need to do some soul searching about what you’re really seeing in your relationship. There’s something you’re not allowing yourself to see here.</i>
</p><p>Well, <i>now</i> he was. The blinders were off and he could see it all clearly. It all made sense now and he felt like a prime fool. His love for Crowley was just as it had always been - unrequited. Crowley didn’t love him, couldn’t ever love him. And he’d been stupid enough to even dream of such a thing. </p><p>Angrily, he swiped the tears from his cheeks. </p><p><i>But what about the rest of it</i>? a little voice asked. <i>She said the outcome would be you being surrounded by people who love you, with lots of support</i>. </p><p>“That could easily simply be friends and family,” he answered himself aloud. “Gabriel and Celeste, Tracy and Newt. That’s all it meant.”</p><p><i>I thought you didn’t even believe in this stuff,</i> he chided himself. <i>You’ve called it all hocus for years.</i></p><p>“But that was before,” he said, swiping at another tear. “The first couple of cards were so <i>accurate</i>. It stands to reason that the rest of them would be, too.”</p><p>Oh, what was he to do? He was so madly, desperately in love with Crowley. His love burned like a wildfire within him, barely contained by his flesh. If Crowley didn’t love him - and it seemed he didn’t - then Aziraphale knew he needed to end things. Could he do it? Did he even have the strength? He honestly didn’t know. They said if you loved something to set it free, and Aziraphale had let Crowley go once before, seventeen years ago. It had shattered his heart then - and he loved Crowley a hundred times more today than he had when he was twenty three. That meant it was probably going to hurt him a hundred times worse to let him go now, at forty. </p><p>“Mr. Fell?” Newt said, popping his head into the back.</p><p>Aziraphale wiped his eyes hurriedly and tried to look busy. “Yes?”</p><p>“Do we have any copies of <i>The Secret Garden</i> here in the back?”</p><p>“No, I don’t think so.”</p><p>“Okay,” Newt said, then mercifully popped back out. </p><p>Aziraphale deflated a bit as soon as he was gone. He didn’t know how he was going to get through dinner tonight, then three days in Paris, knowing what he now knew. How would he even <i>look</i> at Crowley now? How could he possibly go on living a lie, as he had been, now that he knew the truth?</p><p>His mobile played the text tone and he withdrew it from his pocket. </p><p>Crowley: <i>one more hour of work and I get to spend three whole days with you. I can’t wait. xx</i></p><p>Two more tears wobbled in his eyes, then spilled. He couldn’t let Crowley go. He just couldn’t. And if that meant he was going to be living a lie, well, he could learn to do that. But he had a good thing going here, and he’d be a fool to toss it away. Maybe Crowley <i>could</i> learn to love him, over time. Maybe one day, this could be <i>real</i>. It was a slim hope, but a hope nonetheless.</p><p>So he’d keep doing what he’d been doing. He’d go along pretending Crowley loved him, and he’d pray every night and every morning for that to one day be true. If it never happened, well, maybe Crowley would spare his feelings and never tell him. But there was a chance, slim though it might be, that this could one day all be real. It was something to cling to, and Aziraphale decided to do just that. He’d cling to hope, and love Crowley enough for the both of them. </p><p>Determined, he unlocked his mobile and replied as if nothing was wrong.</p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div>Crowley was a bundle of nerves and raw energy as he drove through Soho on his way to pick Aziraphale up. He’d been a mess at work all day, unable to concentrate on anything but what he planned to do tonight - and on the weekend ahead of him. All through the day, all he could think of was, ‘<i>In eight hours, I’ll be asking Aziraphale to marry me… in six hours… in four hours… in two hours…</i>’ on and on until he’d left. Now, he was counting the minutes. Their reservation was in a half hour, and then it would be showtime. The moment Crowley had waited twenty years for. <p>Bloody hell, he was <i>nervous</i>. </p><p>He parked his car near the shop and hopped out to go to Aziraphale’s door, package in hand. Aziraphale buzzed him in, and he climbed the steps two at a time, too excited to slow down. Tonight was the night. It was <i>time</i>.</p><p>He knocked on the door to Aziraphale’s flat when he reached it, rolling back and forth from his toes to his heels. Idly, he reached up and patted the jacket pocket that contained the ring. It was still there. Good. And <i>his</i> matching ring was in his bag, in the car.</p><p>Aziraphale opened the door and at once, Crowley sensed something was wrong. His eyes were a little red and his smile seemed forced. Crowley’s own smile fell into a face of concern. </p><p>“Angel, what’s wrong?”</p><p>“Nothing,” he said brightly, with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. </p><p>Crowley stepped forward and cupped his face. “Tell me, sweetheart. You look like you’ve been crying.”</p><p>“Oh, it’s just allergies, I’m sure, from working in the dusty back room.”</p><p>“Are you sure that’s all it is? Because you seem upset, not sneezy.”</p><p>Aziraphale nodded and wouldn’t meet his eye. “Just a … difficult customer, is all. And the allergies, of course.”</p><p>Crowley stroked his cheek. “Do you want to tell me about it?”</p><p>“No. I think the best thing to do is to simply move forward,” he said firmly. </p><p>That phrasing felt odd to Crowley, but he didn’t comment. He just leaned forward and pressed a sweet kiss to Aziraphale’s lips. Aziraphale looked shifty after, and it gave Crowley a prickle of concern. He brushed aside the discomfort and smiled. </p><p>“Would you like to open your gifts now, or when we get home?” he asked. </p><p>“Later, I think,” Aziraphale said, surprising Crowley. He’d fully expected his hedonistic little angel to be unable or unwilling to wait. It added to his vague discomfort, but once again, he brushed it off. </p><p>“Shall I just…?” he said, gesturing with the gift towards the inside of the flat. </p><p>“Oh. Yes. I’ll take it, and then we can go.”</p><p>Aziraphale took the wrapped parcel containing his books and walked it inside to sit on one of the tables in his lounge. Crowley watched him with brows narrowed in concern, but Aziraphale was smiling when he came back. “There. We’ll open it when we get home. Now, are you ready to go, dear?”</p><p>“Ah, yeah. Yeah, I’m ready.”</p><p>Aziraphale gave a bright smile. “Let’s go, before we miss our reservation, then.”</p><p>Crowley once again brushed off the prickling discomfort he felt. </p><p>“Let’s go, angel,” he said, reaching for Aziraphale’s hand. “Your chariot awaits.”</p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div>The ride to the Ritz was tense, and Crowley couldn’t tell whether it was from his own nerves or Aziraphale’s near-silence. It occurred to him about halfway there that Aziraphale may be suspicious that he was going to make a grand gesture tonight, and perhaps he was nervous. That would explain his odd behavior. But it could also be a witches’ brew of things, too. If a customer had upset him enough to make him cry, which was what Crowley suspected, he was probably still a little tense from the encounter. And the story about allergies was plausible, too, he supposed. Crowley tried to push aside his lingering doubts. <p>They pulled up to valet parking, and Crowley handed off the keys to his new car. Before he could get around to the passenger side, Aziraphale had gotten out. That didn’t stop him from smiling and offering his arm to his beloved. Aziraphale gave him a small smile and accepted. </p><p>“Reservation for Crowley,” he said when they reached the maitre’d. </p><p>“Oh, yes. Right this way, sirs.”</p><p>They followed the maitre’d to the table, which Crowley was relieved to see was somewhat out of the way, as he’d requested. He escorted Aziraphale to his seat, kissed him quickly as he took his chair, then went around to his own side of the table, checking one last time to make sure the ring was in his pocket. </p><p>Bloody hell, they were <i>here</i>. It was <i>almost time</i>. Crowley thought his heart would beat out of his chest with excitement and nerves. Now he just had to fill the next little while with some kind of conversation until after they ate, when he could order the champagne and say what he’d practiced. Fuck, he hoped he didn’t screw this up. </p><p>Crowley ordered a bottle of wine to the table - white, Aziraphale’s favorite - then they picked up the menus and looked over them. He could hardly focus, he was such a jumble of energy. The ring weighed heavy in his pocket. A couple of hours from now, they’d both be wearing them, and everything would be different. Better. They’d be <i>engaged</i>.</p><p>There was some light discussion about what to order, and they each settled on a meal. When the waiter came back with their wine, they gave him their order and surrendered the menus. As soon as the waiter was gone again, Crowley reached across the table for Aziraphale’s hand. Aziraphale gave him a small smile. </p><p><i>Nerves</i>, he thought to himself. <i>A bad day and a case of nerves.</i></p><p>“Are you ready for Paris?” he asked. </p><p>“Yes, I think so. I’ll have to pack up my toiletries in the morning, but other than that, I’m ready. What about you?”</p><p>“I’ve got my bags in the boot.”</p><p>“Very good.”</p><p>“Have you given any thought to what you’d like to do while we’re there?” Crowley asked suggestively. </p><p>“I just figured I’d do whatever you wanted,” Aziraphale said, not rising to the bait. </p><p>“The only two things that I very much want to do are take you for authentic crepes for breakfast - or any other meal - and I want to kiss you at the top of the Eiffel Tower. And below it. I’d really just like to kiss you a lot. As much as you’ll let me.”</p><p>He got the flush he’d been expecting, but the smile he got was somewhat dimmed. </p><p><i>Nerves</i>. </p><p>“Perhaps we could spend the day at the Louvre,” Aziraphale said. </p><p>“That sounds good to me.”</p><p>“When do we fly back?”</p><p>“Sunday evening. Our flight lands at Heathrow at a little after eight, so we’ll have most of the day on Sunday, too.”</p><p>“Very good.”</p><p>“We can also go back anytime,” Crowley offered. “I’ll be happy to make a weekend trip across the channel anytime you want.”</p><p>“That’s very kind of you, dear.”</p><p>“I’m just trying to spoil you the way you deserve.”</p><p>Aziraphale glanced away again and Crowley didn’t know why. </p><p>The food arrived, forcing Crowley to let go of Aziraphale’s hand. He watched Aziraphale spear his first bite carefully, watched him bring the food to his mouth, bracing himself for the inevitable moan…</p><p>But it didn’t come. Aziraphale didn’t make a sound, and Crowley was even more confused. </p><p>“Is everything okay, angel?”</p><p>“I’m fine. Why?”</p><p>“You just don't seem as enthusiastic about your food as I’d expected you to be.”</p><p>“Oh. I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Don’t be sorry. Is it not good?”</p><p>“It’s delicious, really.”</p><p>Crowley peered at him. “Are you <i>sure</i> you’re alright?”</p><p>“Oh, yes. I’m tickety boo, dear.”</p><p>Nerves. It had to be. Crowley did his best to brush it aside. </p><p>“So, angel, I was wondering…”</p><p>“Wondering what?”</p><p>“I have four weeks of paid leave that I have to use before the end of the year. What would you think about the two of us taking a couple of weeks and going on holiday somewhere?”</p><p>“I don’t know, I haven’t done much travelling…”</p><p>“Well, now is your opportunity. I’ll take you anywhere you want to go.”</p><p>“Anywhere?”</p><p>“Anywhere at all. I’d specify that we should go somewhere romantic, but I have a feeling anywhere we went would be romantic,” he said with a lopsided grin, and Aziraphale flushed again, looking shy but pleased. Crowley relaxed a little. That was a bit more like it.</p><p>“We could go somewhere for my birthday in October,” he suggested. </p><p>“Are you sure you’d want to take me?” Aziraphale asked without looking up. </p><p>Crowley gave him a puzzled smile. “Of course I’d want to take you, angel. What kind of question is that? Who else would I take? My other boyfriend?”</p><p>Aziraphale still wasn’t meeting his eye. “I only thought…”</p><p>Crowley reached over and covered his hand. “You thought <i>wrong</i>. You’re the only person I’d ever want to travel with. You’re the only person I ever want to do <i>anything</i> with, honestly.”</p><p>Aziraphale looked unsure. “Do you mean that?” he asked in a small voice. </p><p>“Of course I do, sweetheart. With my whole heart. You’re my best friend, right?”</p><p>Crowley couldn’t tell in the low light, but it looked like Aziraphale’s eyes had filled with tears. He only hoped they were happy tears. </p><p>He squeezed Aziraphale’s hand and released it. “How does it feel to be forty?”</p><p>Aziraphale gave a wan smile. “It feels just like thirty nine.”</p><p>“You don’t suddenly feel wiser?” Crowley teased. </p><p>“No, I’m afraid not.”</p><p>“Thank God. Because I live in fear of you wising up and leaving me.”</p><p>Aziraphale’s smile vanished as completely as if it had never been there, and Crowley wondered what he had said wrong. Aziraphale was acting <i>very</i> strangely tonight, and he was starting to be concerned that it <i>wasn’t</i> all nerves.</p><p><i>He had a bad day,</i> he soothed himself. <i>That’s all. Just a bad day.</i></p><p>“Seriously, how was your birthday?” he asked, pushing aside the worry. </p><p>“Oh, it was very nice.”</p><p>“Did Gabriel take you to lunch?”</p><p>“Yes, we had sushi. He doesn’t like it - he calls it ‘gross matter’ - but he knows it’s my favorite so he treats me. He sends his regards and says he’s looking forward to having us to dinner next Friday.”</p><p>“I look forward to it, too.”</p><p>“You can’t mean that.”</p><p>“I do. You were right: he’s not like he used to be. I daresay he and I might even become friends at some point.”</p><p>Aziraphale didn’t say anything to that, just went back to his meal. </p><p>They chatted lightly about small things, but pulling answers out of Aziraphale was difficult. Still, with every bite, Crowley grew more and more excited. It was almost time. The moment he’d been waiting twenty years for was nearly at hand, and the ring was burning a hole in his pocket. They lapsed into quiet as they ate, Crowley mentally going over what he was planning to say. This was the most important moment of his entire life and he needed it to be <i>perfect</i>. </p><p>Finally, the waiter was back to offer dessert, which was Crowley’s cue. He ordered a bottle of champagne, earning an odd look from Aziraphale, and waited impatiently while the waiter cleared their plates. Once he was gone, Crowley turned to Aziraphale and swallowed hard, clearing his throat. His heart was <i>pounding</i>, slamming against his ribcage, and he felt himself trembling. He reached across and took Aziraphale’s hand in his, looking at it, gathering his words. </p><p>“Angel, I’ve got something to tell you, but I need you to let me get it out, okay? Can you do that?”</p><p>Aziraphale nodded, wide-eyed. “Oh - okay.”</p><p>“Okay,” he replied. All his words seemed to desert him, and he tried desperately to retrieve them. Finally, he just opened his mouth and blurted. </p><p>“Aziraphale, I love you.”</p><p>Aziraphale gasped, his eyes widening and going glossy at once. “No…”</p><p>“Let me finish, angel. I need to get this out.”</p><p>Aziraphale nodded, his eyes filled with tears. “Alright,” he breathed. </p><p>Crowley swallowed hard and went on. “If you were to sit down and list all the qualities that made the perfect man for me, it would just be a description of you. You check every one of my boxes, sweetheart, and even some I didn’t know I had. You’re <i>perfect</i> for me. Maybe that’s why we’ve been best friends since kindergarten.”</p><p>“Crowley…”</p><p>He went on. “When we were sixteen, we promised to marry each other when we turned forty if we hadn’t met anyone else. We promised to give other people a fair shake, and I did. I dated all sorts of people, but none of them were perfect. You are.”</p><p>“Crowley,” Aziraphale said, tears splashing onto his cheeks.</p><p>“And now here we are. You’re forty today, and in two months, I’ll be forty, too. I’m tired of looking. I want to be with the man I’m meant to be with. I’m ready to start the rest of my life, right now.”</p><p>He slid off of his chair, pulling the ring box out of his pocket with trembling fingers and got down on one knee before Aziraphale, opening the box and offering it up. </p><p>“Aziraphale Zaccheus Fell, will you please do me the honor of marrying me? Of being my husband?”</p><p>Aziraphale’s mouth worked soundlessly while Crowley knelt there, looking up at him, offering the ring. He could feel people’s eyes on him, the collective held breath of the entire restaurant as they waited, but he didn’t care. Two more tears fell from Aziraphale’s eyes, and Crowley wanted to wipe them away, but stayed on one knee. His heart had stopped beating and he was afraid he may faint. </p><p>“Angel?” he prodded gently. </p><p>“I’m sorry. I can’t,” Aziraphale said, another tear falling to his cheek. “You don’t mean it, and I can’t do that to you.”</p><p>“What do you mean?” Crowley asked, utterly confused. </p><p>“I just can’t, Crowley. I’m sorry, I have to go.”</p><p>And like a shot, he was gone, leaving Crowley dazed and confused, kneeling on the floor beside the table.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I know, I know. I'm sorry. I promise to make it better. Haven't I always given you happy endings? Have I ever let you down? Just bear with me!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Chapter 25</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aziraphale dashed out of the restaurant, nearly blinded by tears, running into people he couldn’t see, desperate to get away as quickly as possible. He fairly ran down the pavement to the corner and hailed a cab - thankfully, one stopped at once. Without looking behind him, afraid of what he’d see, he got in and gave the driver his address, then they took off. </p><p>Once they were moving he realized he was on the verge of hyperventilating, and did his best to calm down. He took slow, deep breaths that did nothing to calm his rampaging thoughts. </p><p>Crowley had proposed to him. Crowley had proposed! He’d actually proposed marriage! Six hours ago, this would have been a dream come true. Now it felt like a nightmare. </p><p>His phone chimed in his hand and he looked down at it. The preview read:</p><p>Crowley: <i>angel, what’s wrong? where are you?</i></p><p>Aziraphale felt two more tears wobble in his eyes, then fall, and he didn't answer. What could he possibly say? </p><p>He received four more texts and several calls before he got to his flat. All of them were from Crowley and he ignored each one. As quickly as he could, he paid the fare and unlocked his door, dashing up the stairs to his flat. Crowley would be coming, he was sure of it, and he wasn’t nearly ready for Crowley yet. </p><p>Once he was in his flat, behind a locked, closed door, he went to the couch, collapsed into the spot Crowley usually occupied, and cried his eyes out.</p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div>Crowley watched helplessly as Aziraphale ran from the room, frozen in place. His eyes were wide and his mouth hung open in shock as he tried to make sense of what had just happened. <p>Slowly, it began to dawn on him that he was still kneeling on the floor. Feeling the eyes of every person on him and hearing their hushed whispers, Crowley got back into his seat, trying to think. What had happened? Where had Aziraphale gone? What should Crowley <i>do</i>? Nothing made sense right at that moment. </p><p>The waiter returned, carrying a bottle of champagne and two glasses, and Crowley waved him off, fighting tears. No matter what, the evening was over, he supposed, and he asked for the check. </p><p>People eventually turned back around to their own tables and looked away from Crowley, but he couldn’t care. He watched the door Aziraphale had gone through intently, waiting for him to reappear. Perhaps he’d been overwhelmed and needed a minute in the washroom. Maybe that was it. But with every second that passed, that hope dimmed. Aziraphale had left. He’d <i>left</i>. But why? What had he meant by ‘you don’t mean it’? That didn’t make sense to Crowley. He’d never meant anything <i>more</i>.</p><p><i>None</i> of this made sense to Crowley. </p><p>He pulled his mobile out and went to Aziraphale’s contact. </p><p>Crowley:<i> angel, what’s wrong? where are you?</i></p><p>He stared at the message for an embarrassingly long time, waiting for the three dots that indicated Aziraphale was typing to appear, but they never came. Nor did the notification that his message had been read. Tears threatened again and he blinked them back. </p><p>When the waiter brought the check, Crowley paid it, leaving a hefty tip, then grabbed the ring box and put it back in his pocket, headed to the door and valet parking, determined to find Aziraphale and talk to him. </p><p>He sent another message while he waited for his car to be brought around. </p><p>Crowley: <i>please, sweetheart. please talk to me. what did I do wrong?</i></p><p>Once again, the message wasn’t read. </p><p>When he got in the car, he debated with himself for only a moment before he took off towards Soho. He needed to talk to Aziraphale. Now. </p><p>“Call Aziraphale,” he said, and Siri dialed the number. It rang and rang until Aziraphale’s voicemail picked up, featuring his sunny voice. </p><p>“Hello, you’ve reached Aziraphale Fell…”</p><p>Crowley swore and ended the call, then sped up, determined to get to him as soon as possible. As he drove, his mind spun. What had happened? This wasn’t the result of a customer being rude or allergies, Crowley knew. He was sure now that those had been excuses to cover up some other kind of upset. So what <i>had</i> happened? Everything had been perfect. Absolutely perfect. He’d been sure Aziraphale would say yes - or at the absolute <i>worst</i>, would simply ask for time to think. He knew that Aziraphale loved him. He <i>knew</i> it. So this out of hand rejection didn’t compute. Something had to have happened. It <i>had</i> to have. </p><p>As he drove, he dictated two more texts and tried to call three more times. There was still no response. </p><p>When he arrived in Soho, there was a spot open near Aziraphale’s shop. He whipped his car into it as quickly as he could, got out in a flash, and went to Aziraphale’s door, barely remembering to lock the car. When he arrived at Aziraphale’s door, he started ringing the buzzer over and over, almost in morse code. </p><p>“Come on, angel. Come on,” he grumbled between gritted teeth. </p><p>Once again, no answer was forthcoming. Finally angry, Crowley began to beat on the door with his fists. </p><p>“Angel! Let me in! We need to talk!”</p><p>There was no response. </p><p><i>”Angel</i>!” he shouted, making a scene and attracting odd looks but not caring. “Please, angel. <i>Please!</i>”</p><p>Still nothing. </p><p>Grief and hopelessness won out over the anger and he turned around, putting his back to the door and sliding down to the pavement. Once he was seated, he bowed his head to his knees and began to cry. </p><p>Two hours ago, Crowley’s life had been perfect. Now, he felt like it was in tatters. And he had no idea why. </p><p>Despondent, tears still falling, he thought of what <i>should</i> have been happening right at that very moment. They <i>should</i> have been in the car, on the way back from the restaurant, making calls to their families and friends to announce their engagement. He’d intended to ‘introduce’ Aziraphale to Fergus tonight by phone, and he knew Aziraphale would have had people he wanted to call, too. Like --</p><p>Inspiration struck like lightning and Crowley raised his head, his eyes wide. He pulled out his phone and started typing and swiping, searching for information. He had to go through a paywall, but eventually found what he was looking for. Without a care for anything else, he clicked the number and brought the phone to his ear. After three rings, it was picked up. </p><p>“Hello?”</p><p>“Gabriel?”</p><p>“Yes? Who is this?”</p><p>“This is Crowley.”</p><p>Gabriel’s voice was alarmed when he demanded, “Is my brother alright?”</p><p>“Yes. I mean, I think so. He was fine a few minutes ago. Physically.”</p><p>“Oh, thank God. Well, what’s wrong? Why are you calling? Weren’t you supposed to be out celebrating?”</p><p>“That was my plan, yes. But something has happened.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I don’t know. I honestly have no idea. He was acting strangely all evening...”</p><p>“How do you mean?”</p><p>“His demeanor was just off and he looked like he’d been crying when I picked him up to go to dinner. I asked him what was wrong several times and he said he’d had a bad customer and allergies. I was suspicious, but he didn’t want to talk about it and I didn’t push him.”</p><p>“So what happened at dinner?”</p><p>“We had a nice meal, but he kept acting odd. I did my best to ignore it, because I had plans.”</p><p>“What plans?”</p><p>Crowley swallowed. “I told him I’m in love with him and asked him to marry me.”</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“I take it that didn’t go well, since you’re on the phone with me.”</p><p>“It <i>didn’t</i> go well. He said something like ‘you don’t really mean it’ and walked out. He left me there on one knee,” Crowley said, tears spilling again. </p><p>“Ouch.”</p><p>“Yeah. I kept thinking he’d gone to the bathroom or something, but he never came back. So I paid the bill and came to his flat.”</p><p>“Is that where you are now?”</p><p>Crowley dragged his sleeve across his eyes to wipe them. “I’m sitting outside his door, yeah.”</p><p>“Have you spoken to him at all since then?”</p><p>“No. I’ve tried texting and calling and ringing the bell and banging on the door. He won’t talk to me, and I don’t know why.”</p><p>“And I suppose you want me to talk to him.”</p><p>Crowley closed his eyes and two more tears fell unchecked. “Please. I’ll do anything, Gabriel. Anything at all. Just <i>please</i> get him to talk to me. All I need is a chance.”</p><p>“Did you mean it?” Gabriel asked. </p><p>“Did I mean what?”</p><p>“When you told him you loved him and asked him to marry you.”</p><p>“Of course I did!” Crowley fairly spat. “I’ve never meant anything more in my life!”</p><p>“Okay, okay. I figured so. But it would have been irresponsible for me not to ask. What are you going to do?”</p><p>“Currently, my plan is to sit right here in front of this door until he comes out and talks to me. That’s all I know to do.”</p><p>“Alright. I’m going to call him and try to get him to talk to you.” </p><p>Crowley’s shoulders slumped in relief. “Thank you. Thank you so much. What do you want me to do?”</p><p>“Stay right where you are. I’ll talk to him, and either he’ll talk to you or I’ll ring you back. But you stay there for right now. Okay?”</p><p>“Okay. Whatever you say.”</p><p>“You’ll hear from one of us in a few minutes.”</p><p>“Thank you, Gabriel. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.”</p><p>“You’re welcome. Sit tight.”</p><p>With that, the call disconnected and Crowley settled in for the longest wait of his life, his cheeks wet with tears.</p><div class="center">
  <p>~*~O~*~</p>
</div>Aziraphale was starting to get a headache from all the crying. Honestly, he’d had no idea that one human body could hold so many tears. His heart was broken into a million pieces, but he’d done the right thing. He knew that he had. Now he just needed to stick with it. <p>He’d have to talk to Crowley eventually, and knew it would probably be sooner rather than later. Crowley deserved to be told the real truth - that Aziraphale wouldn’t go on living a lie - even if <i>he</i> hadn’t been entirely truthful with <i>Aziraphale</i>. Aziraphale would just have to be firm and strong in his response. He simply <i>must</i> stick up for himself, and never see Crowley again. </p><p>The thought of never seeing Crowley again brought on a fresh wave of tears. </p><p>When he got himself somewhat under control, he went to the kitchen and drank a glass of water, taking two paracetamol with it. Then he started drinking another glass of water. It looked like the crying was going to be going on for a while, and he should at <i>least</i> try not to get dehydrated. </p><p>Crowley had stopped texting and calling and ringing the bell a few minutes before, and it confirmed to Aziraphale what he’d already believed. Crowley didn’t love him. If he <i>did</i>, he never would have given up. </p><p>Aziraphale finished his second glass of water and went back to the lounge - for what, he didn’t know. He didn't feel like reading or watching telly. What <i>should</i> he do? He felt lost. </p><p>The phone rang again, startling him, and he looked down to see that it wasn’t Crowley, it was <i>Gabriel.</i> Curious, he picked it up.</p><p>“Hello?”</p><p>“Aziraphale. Good. I caught you. Where are you?”</p><p>“I’m at home. Why are you calling so late? Are the children alright?”</p><p>“The kids are fine. I just got off the phone with Crowley.”</p><p>Aziraphale went stiff. “He <i>called</i> you?”</p><p>“He did. Would you like to tell me your side of what happened?”</p><p>He plopped down into the armchair, unsure where to begin or what to say. In a dull voice, he said, “He proposed to me.”</p><p>“And you refused.”</p><p>“I did,” Aziraphale said, closing his eyes against the tears. </p><p>“<i>Why</i> did you say no to him?”</p><p>“Because he doesn’t actually love me. He only wanted to marry me out of a sense of obligation.”</p><p>“What? That makes no sense. Why would he ask out of a sense of obligation?” Gabriel demanded. </p><p>The tears were flowing again, and Aziraphale tried to ignore them. “One night, when we were sixteen, Crowley was spending the night. We used to talk before we went to sleep, sharing our deepest secrets with each other in the wee hours. That night, I confessed that I was gay. Crowley confessed to being bisexual. We talked about what that meant for our futures, and decided that if we were still single at forty, we’d marry each other. We even cut our hands and made a blood pact.” He took a deep breath, closing his eyes, and went on. “We grew apart, as most childhood friends do. Then he turned up a month before my fortieth birthday out of nowhere, and the next thing I know, he’s kissing me. Suddenly, we were together.”</p><p>“Which is what you’d always wanted.”</p><p>“Yes, but that’s beside the point.”</p><p>“Did he <i>tell</i> you he was back because of the pact?”</p><p>“Not exactly. But he kissed me for the first time about a week after he came back and asked me how I’d like to honor the pact, so I knew that’s what he was thinking.”</p><p>“Did he mention it any other time?”</p><p>“No, not really.”</p><p>“Did he <i>act</i> like he was just acting out of a sense of obligation?”</p><p>“No, but I’m utterly convinced that he was. He did and said everything <i>right</i>, but I know he wasn’t in love with me and was simply <i>trying</i> to fall in love with me, over time. And then today, I got confirmation that he’s been hiding something from me, although I don’t know what. I can only assume that I’ve been right all along.”</p><p>“What kind of confirmation?”</p><p>Aziraphale thought for a second and decided to keep that bit to himself. “Nevermind. I just did. And I <i>know</i> I’m right.”</p><p>Gabriel was quiet a second. “Aziraphale, I’m going to be blunt with you.”</p><p>“Go ahead.”</p><p>“That’s the craziest bullshit you’ve ever come up with in your life.”</p><p>“Now, really…”</p><p>“I mean it. I’ve heard some wild excuses in my day, but that, my friend, takes the cake. You’re not jumping to conclusions, you’re doing fucking parkour.”</p><p>“What’s parkour?”</p><p>“Nevermind that. You need to talk to him.”</p><p>“I don’t want to see him right now.”</p><p>“Do you love him?”</p><p>Aziraphale closed his eyes and two more tears fell. “I love him more than anything. But he doesn’t love<i> me</i>.”</p><p>“Aziraphale, you absolutely humiliated him tonight in the middle of the Ritz, yet he’s sitting outside your door, crying, calling <i>me</i> for help, looking for any chance to talk to you. I think it’s safe to say he feels more than friendship and obligation towards you.”</p><p>“I’m not willing to be someone’s last resort. Not even Crowley’s.”</p><p>“I don’t think you <i>are</i> his last resort. Did he tell you about our conversation last week?”</p><p>“He didn’t give me any details, only that it had gone well and you’d cleared the air.”</p><p>“Well, I asked him straight out what had taken him so long, because anyone with eyes could see that the two of you were crazy about each other from the time you were kids. He didn’t even try to deny that, by the by,” Gabriel added. “But when I asked him why it had taken him so long to make a move, do you know what he said?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“He said that neither of you had been mature enough for the relationship he wanted. That was all. No denial that he’d loved you all along. No talk about any pact. Only that neither of you were ready. And do you know what he said when I asked him point blank if he loved you?”</p><p>Aziraphale’s heart was fluttering. “What?”</p><p>“He didn’t deny <i>that</i>, either. All he’d say was that he thought he should tell <i>you</i> that before he told anyone else.”</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>“Yeah. Oh.”</p><p>“But what if he was lying?” Aziraphale tried. “What if he was only <i>trying</i> to love me?”</p><p>“That’s a hell of a commitment to make when you’re only <i>trying</i> to love someone, Aziraphale. I think he loves you. I really do.”</p><p>Aziraphale’s thoughts were spinning and he tried to make sense of them. He closed his eyes and two more tears slipped out. </p><p>“Aziraphale, brother, listen to me. I’m the closest family you have, and the person that loves you the most - save Crowley. Okay? I only have your best interests at heart. Do you believe me?”</p><p>He nodded, his eyes still closed, tears still streaming down his cheeks. “I do.”</p><p>“Then believe me when I tell you that you’re throwing away happiness with both hands right now. If you <i>don’t</i> talk to him, you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life. I promise you that. You’ll go to your grave wishing you had.”</p><p>“Do you really think so?”</p><p>“I really do. I wouldn’t lie to you, Aziraphale.” </p><p>Aziraphale sniffed, eyes still closed, then nodded, although Gabriel couldn’t see. “Alright.”</p><p>“Alright?”</p><p>“I’ll talk to him.”</p><p>“Tonight? Because he’s sitting out on your stoop right now, crying and waiting and hoping and praying.”</p><p>“Yes, I’ll talk to him tonight. But I’m only talking to him to end things.”</p><p>“You let him say what he needs to say, and I think you’ll be changing your mind,” Gabriel predicted. </p><p>“Yes, well, we’ll see.” </p><p>“Go talk to him, Aziraphale. And call me in the morning before you go to Paris to let me know how it went.”</p><p>“Yes, alright. I’m not going to Paris, but I’ll call you in the morning.”</p><p>“We’ll see. Go talk to him. Love you, baby brother.”</p><p>“Love you, too. Goodbye.”</p><p>“Goodbye.”</p><p>Aziraphale hung up the phone and looked at it for a moment. Could Gabriel be right? Could he have been wrong? What about the tarot reading? Oh, Aziraphale was more mixed up now than he’d been to begin with. Gabriel could be wrong about everything, and Aziraphale could be right. But the only way to know that was to sit Crowley down and ask the hard questions. Then, when it was revealed that he <i>had</i> been deceiving Aziraphale all along, Aziraphale would tell him that he could no longer live a lie and end things as amicably as possible. Their relationship would probably be beyond repair and they’d never speak again, but that was a problem for tomorrow. For now, he needed to talk to Crowley and clear the air. </p><p>He wiped his cheeks one more time, squared his shoulders, and went to the door to press the intercom to let Crowley in.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Well, I’m sure y’all can predict the ending from here. But I’m hoping you’ll stick with me anyway!</p><p>One more chapter and then the epilogue!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Chapter 26</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>*yawn*<br/>Good morning! I’m surprised to see you here so bright and early! What shall we talk about while I get caffeinated? The weather? TV shows we love? How JKRowling is trash? <i>Politics</i>?</p><p>What’s that? You want me to shut up and post the chapter? Oh, I see where your interest lies. Mhm. I’m only good for one thing. I see how it is. </p><p>Alright, alright. I’ll shut up. I’ve put you through enough. </p><p>Enjoy this penultimate chapter of The Pact!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Crowley was doing his best not to cry again as he sat on the pavement, waiting for something to happen. His arse had gone numb and people kept giving him strange looks as they passed, but he couldn’t care. He was waiting for either Gabriel or Aziraphale to talk to him, and he’d wait all night, if he needed to. </p><p>His phone buzzed in his hand and he looked up to find a message from Gabriel. </p><p>Gabriel: <i>Stay put. He’s going to talk to you tonight. I did the best I could. Good luck.</i></p><p>Corwley sent back a hurried ‘thank you’, his heart pounding in his chest with sudden nerves and excitement. Aziraphale was willing to talk to him. He was going to have a chance. And that’s all he needed. Just a chance. </p><p>Moments later, he heard Aziraphale’s voice over the intercom. “Crowley? Are you there?”</p><p>He was on his feet in an instant. “I’m here, angel. I’m here. Can I come up?”</p><p>His only response was the sound of the buzzer that unlocked the door. He didn’t hesitate a moment before he pulled the door open and dashed up the stairs. </p><p>The door was ajar when Crowley got to it, and he pushed it open carefully. Aziraphale was sitting on the couch, perched more rigidly than normal, almost as if he were poised to spring. His eyes were red and his face was puffy, and Crowley wanted to rush over and take him into his arms right there. He barely refrained. </p><p>“Oh, thank God you’re alright,” he said in relief. “<i>Are</i> you alright?”</p><p>“I’m quite alright,” Aziraphale said, his voice frosty.</p><p>Crowley closed the door. “What happened back there, angel?”</p><p>“A moment of clarity. That’s what happened.”</p><p>“I don’t understand,” Crowley said, going to sit in the armchair nearby, afraid to get too close to Aziraphale just yet. “Explain it to me.”</p><p>“I can’t play this game anymore, Crowley. I can’t pretend that I don’t know the truth.”</p><p>Crowley shook his head in confusion. “What truth? What are you talking about?”</p><p>“Like I don’t know why you’re <i>really</i> here,” Aziraphale snapped. </p><p>He felt a small flash of anger. Perhaps defensiveness. “Why the <i>fuck</i> would I be here except because I’m in love with you?”</p><p>“Give up the act, Crowley. I know you’re only here because of that stupid pact.”</p><p>Crowley blinked for a second, completely stunned. “You think - hold on. Wait a minute. You think I’m here because of something we said when we were fucking <i>sixteen</i>?”</p><p>“Are you not?”</p><p>“Fuck no, I’m not!”</p><p>“Then why are you?”</p><p>“Because I’m in love with you, idiot!”</p><p>Aziraphale’s eyes watered and he looked away. “I don’t believe you.”</p><p>Crowley sputtered. “You - you think I’m <i>lying</i> about being in love with you?”</p><p>“Yes. In a way, I do.”</p><p>Crowley just stared at him for a moment, utterly stunned. He had no idea what to say. Anger and frustration bubbled inside him, but he tried to push it aside. How could Aziraphale have gotten this so completely wrong? He took a second and a breath, shook his head to clear it, and said, “Okay, Aziraphale. I want you to tell me <i>exactly<i> what it is you believe. Everything. Please.”</i></i></p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Aziraphale sniffed and brushed a tear from his cheek, then turned to look at Crowley. “Alright. I suppose I owe you that much. I think that you were living in New York, dating casually, and starting to panic about the prospect of being alone. Perhaps you really were homesick, but for whatever reason, you decided to come back to the UK. I was here and single and you figured ‘why not?’ If you settled down with me, at least you wouldn’t be alone, right? So you kissed me and we began a relationship, and you’ve spent the whole time trying  to convince yourself that the platonic, brotherly love you feel for me is romantic.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley’s jaw was slack, and all he could think of was, “You’re so stupid. But you’re so clever. How can someone as clever as you be so fucking <i>stupid</i>?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I’m <i>not</i> stupid,” Aziraphale huffed. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“You are if you believe that. Do you <i>really</i> believe that?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Aziraphale gave a short nod. “I do. I had been harboring doubts the whole time, but I have to admit, they were diminishing over time. I <i>almost</i> believed it, believed that you could love me. I <i>almost</i> did. But then today Anathema said that there was more to our relationship than meets the eye, that you were hiding something from me—”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Wait a second. Who the hell is Anathema and how does she know shit about me?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>There was suddenly a little color high on Aziraphale’s cheeks and he looked almost embarrassed, but he didn’t look away. “She’s Tracy’s assistant. She did a tarot reading for me today and confirmed my suspicions - that I had been living a lie with you. You’ve been deceiving me, keeping secrets.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“A tarot reading? You threw me away because of a fucking <i>tarot reading</i>?” he demanded, suddenly, incandescently angry.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“The cards only confirmed what I’d long suspected - that you were being less than truthful with me.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley shot to his feet, unable to sit still, too angry to see straight. He paced back and forth in the small space of Aziraphale’s lounge, furious. “I can’t believe this. I can’t fucking <i>believe</i> this. You dumped me in the middle of a restaurant because of what some fraud who doesn’t know me from fucking Adam told you about me? You believed this completely random woman over your <i>best friend</i>?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“All of the cards, the things she said, they were very accurate. It stands to reason that aspect would be accurate, too. Can you <i>honestly</i> look me in the eye and say you haven’t been deceiving me?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley stomped over to the table and grabbed the gift, then carried it over to Aziraphale, holding it out angrily for him to take. “I haven’t been deceiving you. I’ve been keeping a secret. Open it.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Aziraphale looked uncertain, but carefully unwrapped the box. When he lifted the lid and pulled back the tissue paper, he let out a little gasp. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley’s voice was softer when he explained, “I bought them for you on Sunday, angel. That’s what I was doing all day. That and shopping for an engagement ring.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Aziraphale looked up with wide, shining eyes. “You were?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yes. I was. I kept it a secret from you, sweetheart, because I wanted to surprise you. So I guess technically I <i>did</i> deceive you, but it was all innocent. I swear. I swear on my worthless <i>life,</i> that’s all.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>A tear splashed onto Aziraphale’s cheek and he looked horrified. “Crowley, I don’t even know what to say.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Can I tell you the truth, angel? The whole truth?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Aziraphale nodded. “Please.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley took a deep breath and closed his eyes a second, gathering his words and his strength. Finally, he opened them and looked into Aziraphale’s shining blue eyes.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I’m in love with you, Aziraphale. And I’ve<i> been </i>in love with you for as long as I can remember. Honest to Christ, I don’t remember <i>not</i> feeling this way about you. I realized what I felt for you when I was about seventeen, but I was too afraid to act on it. For one thing, we were both still closeted. For another, we were about to go off to separate universities. But more than anything, I was afraid of ruining our beautiful, perfect friendship.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Another tear splashed onto Aziraphale’s cheek and Crowley took a step forward.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I spent my whole time at university waiting for you. I dated some, because we had promised each other to do so, but my heart belonged to you and no one else. I was living and breathing for the day you moved to London with me and we got a flat together. I planned to tell you how I felt then, but it never happened. Then I got transferred to New York.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley paused for a second, feeling tears prick his own eyes, and he didn’t try to fight them. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Everything I told you about why I distanced myself from you was true, except I didn’t tell you that I was in love with you the whole time. <i>That’s</i> what made it so painful. So I tried to forget you and date other people, but none of my relationships ever went anywhere because I couldn’t get you out of my mind. I still loved you so much, Aziraphale. So fucking much.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Crowley,” Aziraphale breathed, tears shining on his cheeks. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley stepped over in front of Aziraphale, who was still sitting with eyes wide. He pushed the coffee table out of the way, got to his knees in front of Aziraphale, and gently removed the box with the books from his lap, setting it to the side. Once it was out of the way, he took Aziraphale’s hands into his and looked up into the wet, blue eyes.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I spent the last seventeen years thinking of you, wishing for you, and it only got worse as time went on. I remembered our pact, and very much wanted to follow through with it. But mostly, I was still so in love with you. Just utterly in love with you. So I decided to move home. For you.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“For me?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yes. For you. The pact was nothing more than an excuse to do what I’ve always wanted to, angel. That’s all it was. Just an excuse. I’ve wanted to be with you - to really, truly <i>be</i> with you, for over twenty years.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Oh, Crowley. Do you mean it?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley gave him a small smile. “I do, angel. I do with my whole heart. I moved across the world just for the <i>chance</i> that I might get to be with you.” His own tears fell from his eyes, but he ignored them. “I love you, angel. I love you completely, I love you wholly. I love everything about you. Every word I’ve said to you since I’ve been back in the UK - every word and every deed - have all been true. I love you. I just love you.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Aziraphale let out a sob, his face breaking into a smile. “Oh, Crowley. I love you so much, just so much, and --”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>He didn’t get to finish whatever he was about to say because Crowley attacked his mouth, kissing him eagerly. Aziraphale’s lips slid across his, and he considered deepening the kiss, but broke it after a minute and pulled Aziraphale into his arms. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I love you so much, angel. So goddamn much. I can’t even express it.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Aziraphale sniffed into his shoulder. “I love you, too, Crowley. And I’m so sorry.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Don’t be sorry. Just tell me you love me again.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>The angel huffed a watery laugh. “I love you.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley drew back to look into his eyes, tears flowing unchecked. “Say it again. Please.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Aziraphale reached up to touch his cheek, smiling, his eyes still wet. “I love you, Crowley. I’ve been in love with you since I can remember. I just love you so much.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Will you love me forever?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>He nodded, smiling. “I will.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley dug the ring out of his pocket and opened it, presenting it to Aziraphale again, his heart thudding. “Will you marry me?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Oh, Crowley. <i>Yes!</i> Yes, I’ll marry you.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Do you mean it?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yes!” Aziraphale laughed. “I mean it with my whole heart, dear.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley broke into the biggest smile he’d ever worn and kissed Aziraphale hard. When the kiss broke, Crowley pulled the ring out of the box and picked up Aziraphale’s left hand. Trembling with emotion, he slid the platinum and diamond band onto Aziraphale’s ring finger. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“It fits,” he said, his voice breathy. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Oh, Crowley. It’s so beautiful.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“It’s nowhere near as beautiful as you. I love you so much.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I love you too, dear. And I can’t wait to spend forever with you.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Forever,” Crowley echoed, his smile bright.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Aziraphale leaned forward and kissed him sweetly. Crowley melted into the kiss, overcome with joy. They kissed for long moments, tasting and teasing each other, and Crowley thought he would explode from happiness. Aziraphale had agreed to marry him. This man, the love of his life, was also his fiancé. Fuck, he was the luckiest bastard that had ever lived. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>The kiss amped up in intensity slowly, becoming deeper and more needy, and both of their hands explored each other’s torsos. Crowley was achingly hard when Aziraphale broke the kiss and asked in a slightly breathless voice, “My dear, would you think me a boor if I asked to continue this in the bedroom? I find myself <i>very</i> much in the mood to celebrate.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley chuckled. “I think I could be persuaded. But to be honest, I’m tempted to have you right here, right now.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Aziraphale smiled wickedly. “I’d like to christen my couch some other time, but I really feel strongly that the first time we make love as an engaged couple, we should be in our bed.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i><i>Our bed.</i> Crowley nearly swooned at the very thought. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>He kissed him sweetly. “Then let’s go.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley got to his feet in front of Aziraphale, then pulled Aziraphale up into his arms. They kissed for a few minutes, languid and unhurried, standing there wrapped in each other’s arms, until Aziraphale pulled away, leaving Crowley dazed. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Come on,” he said, pulling Crowley’s hand. “Take me to bed and make love to me.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yes, sir,” Crowley replied, and followed his love down the corridor in something of a fog. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>When they reached the bedroom, Aziraphale released Crowley’s hand and went to his side of the bed to turn on the light, then turned around and smiled at Crowley. He crooked his finger and beckoned, and Crowley was helpless to do anything but go to him. He pulled Aziraphale into his arms and kissed him deeply, pouring all of his love into the motions of his mouth and tongue. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Aziraphale broke the kiss for air, and Crowley immediately went to work on his neck. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I love you,” Aziraphale breathed. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley moaned and nipped his throat. “Again,” he requested.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I love you, Crowley. With my whole being, I love you.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley sucked a mark into the skin of his throat possessively. “Again.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Oh, Crowley, I love you so much…”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley captured his mouth in a needy, desperate kiss, clutching Aziraphale to himself. Aziraphale clung to him as well, and Crowley could feel the hard ridge of his erection pressing against Crowley’s. Unable to help himself, he ground his hips against Aziraphale, seeking friction. Aziraphale rolled his own hips in response. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>The next thing he knew, they were in a near-frantic race to get their clothes off of each other. Fingers fumbled and buttons broke and every inch of exposed skin was kissed as it was revealed, but finally, they were both nude and lying across the bed, wrapped up in each other, rolling together. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Aziraphale broke the kiss, panting, to ask, “How do you want me?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley was busy painting his chest in kisses. “I don’t know. I don’t care, I just want you. What do <i>you</i> want?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I think I want to ride you.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>He gave a little moan, then sucked a mark into Aziraphale’s chest, just over his heart. “I’m not opposed,” he said. Understatement.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Aziraphale kissed him again, then pulled away, reaching for the nightstand. Crowley kissed and caressed all of his body he could reach while Aziraphale grabbed the lube. When he had it, the angel rolled so he was on his back, Crowley propped up on an arm beside him, and smiled  up at Crowley. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Open me up, my love,” he said, offering the lube. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Ngk,” Crowley said, then took the offered lubricant from his hand at the same time he pressed a needy, urgent kiss to his mouth. When the kiss broke, he looked into Aziraphale’s blue eyes. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I love you so much, angel. So fucking much.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Aziraphale caressed his face. “I love you, too.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley kissed him one more time, he couldn’t help it, then started trailing kisses down his torso, towards his cock. He used his hand to encourage Aziraphale’s legs to spread as he suckled a nipple, then slid his mouth down as he slicked his fingers. When he parted Aziraphale’s cheeks, seeking his hole, he also took the head of his cock into his mouth and began to suck. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Oh, yes, Crowley,” Aziraphale said, almost in a purr, his hand going to Crowley’s hair the way he liked. “Oh, your mouth feels so good, my love.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley sucked him eagerly, bobbing his head as he circled his entrance, massaging it. Within a couple of minutes, he’d worked a finger in, earning a ragged moan from Aziraphale. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yes, my darling… feels so good… I love you so much… give me more…”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley continued to suck him, seeking to maximize his pleasure, and carefully added a second finger. Once that was in, he started fucking him with them, getting him used to the feeling. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Oh, Crowley, your fingers feel so good inside me. I can’t <i>wait</i> until I get to feel your cock in me, too. Do you want that? Do you want to fuck me? Do you want to fuck your fiancé?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i><i>Fiancé</i>. Crowley could have taken flight. He made a garbled ‘mhm’ as best he could without breaking the rhythm. Aziraphale’s fists were tight in his hair, and it drove his need higher. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I love to watch you suck me, with your pretty mouth. I love the way it stretches to take me. Oh! Give me more, my darling. Please. Get me ready. I want you to fuck me so badly…”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley moved his fingers inside of Aziraphale, carefully avoiding his prostate, not wanting him to come just yet. Aziraphale was moving his hips, fucking up into Crowley’s mouth, and Crowley opened wider to take him deeper. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Oooh,” Aziraphale groaned, his hands tightening further. “Crowley, oh, Crowley… you feel so good...I love you so much…”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley deepthroated him for a minute, making the garbled sounds he knew Aziraphale liked, fingering his arse. Aziraphale made ragged sounds bereft of consonants that only vaguely resembled language, and Crowley was pleased. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Will you fuck me now, Crowley? I’m ready. I’m so ready. Will you let me ride you? I’m <i>dying</i> for your cock and I’m afraid I’m going to come if you don’t stop…”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley gentled his sucking at once. His fingers were still buried in his love when he released his cock. “You’re sure you’re ready, angel?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Aziraphale nodded down at him. “Yes. Please, yes.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley hurriedly climbed up Aziraphale, his fingers still fucking him, until their mouths met in a needy, messy kiss. His own cock was <i>dripping</i> and he was near desperate for more friction, but his primary concern was Aziraphale. When the kiss broke, he kissed him one last time and slid his fingers out, then grabbed the lube and rolled over onto his back. He slicked his cock while Aziraphale changed positions, his heart pounding in his chest. Aziraphale gave him a little half smile as he went to straddle Crowley’s waist, and Crowley released his own cock in favor of Aziraphale’s thighs. His cock was only neglected for a second before Aziraphale had his hand around it, pumping it, rubbing it along the crease of his bum. Crowley sucked in a breath, holding perfectly still, as Aziraphale lined him up and started pressing backwards to get him in. Aziraphale’s eyes closed, his face screwed up in concentration, until suddenly, Crowley was inside him. They both released a breath and smiled, and Aziraphale eased himself the rest of the way back, until Crowley was buried to the hilt. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Christ, angel, you feel so good,” Crowley said, gripping and caressing his thighs. “Your arse is so tight and hot and <i>perfect</i>.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Aziraphale started rolling his hips in a circular motion, fucking himself gently on Crowley, smiling down at him. “My dear, there simply aren’t <i>words</i> for how good you feel inside me.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley <i>needed</i> to kiss him right then, so he released his thighs and reached up, pulling Aziraphale down into a sloppy kiss. Aziraphale didn’t stop the movements of his body, didn’t stop fucking himself on Crowley, and he whined into the kiss. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I love you, angel. I love you so much…” he panted against Aziraphale’s open mouth. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Aziraphale smiled. “I love you, too. Let me show you.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>With that, he sat upright again and started fucking himself on Crowley’s cock more vigrously. Crowley just watched him, taking him in, loving him completely. His hands were on Aziraphale’s hips, lightly guiding, encouraging. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Oh, Crowley… your cock is so big and thick… I’m so full of you… do you like this? Do you like the way I ride you?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Fuck, yes, I love it,” Crowley managed between gritted teeth. <i> “Fuck!</i> Give me more… please…”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Aziraphale started bouncing in earnest, and Crowley met his motions with sharp thrusts from below. He could feel himself getting closer…</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Crowley, oh, Crowley, you feel so good…” Aziraphale cried, arching his back. “I’m going to come soon. Will you come for me? Oh, please, please come for me. Fill my arse with it. Claim me.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“You’re mine, Aziraphale,” Crowley said. “You hear me? You’re mine, and you’ll always be mine.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yes! I’m yours!”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley sat up suddenly, needing to be closer, wrapping his arms around Aziraphale’s torso. He fucked him as hard and fast as he was able, sucking and licking at Aziraphale’s neck. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Fuck, Crowley! Oh, you feel so good fucking me… I love you so much…”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley could barely form words, but he managed to ask, “Are you close, angel?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yes! Yes! I’m so close! Please! Don’t stop!”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley’s orgasm was barreling closer and he did his absolute best to hold off until Aziraphale came. His breaths were ragged and his hands were clutching Aziraphale and he was <i>so close</i>, but desperate to wait. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Ah! Ah! Here I come! Ah!” Aziraphale cried, then Crowley felt the hot splash of his come all over his belly and chest. Aziraphale shouted in his ear, babbling broken fragments of words, and Crowley fucked him harder, chasing his own release. When it came, he shouted something that may have been Aziraphale’s name, but he didn’t know. He was lost in a sea of sensation, his cock emptying into Aziraphale’s arse, every cell of his body on fire. He came and came, clinging to Aziraphale, until he couldn’t come anymore. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>He clung to Aziraphale, panting for breath, his face buried in Aziraphale’s chest. He could feel Aziraphale’s heart beating as fast as his, and his harsh breaths moving his hair. Both of them were shuddering with aftershocks, holding each other close as they came down. Aziraphale was clinging just as tightly to him, and he never wanted to let go. He wanted to stay locked in that moment forever. It seemed Aziraphale felt the same, and neither of them moved for a long time. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Eventually, after their pulses and respirations started to return to normal, Aziraphale sighed and shifted a bit. Crowley raised his head to look up into Aziraphale’s beautiful face, taking him in, utterly in love with him. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Aziraphale smiled at him, a small, delicate thing, and Crowley smiled back. Without a word, they brought their lips together in a sweet, slow kiss. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I love you,” Crowley breathed against his mouth when they parted. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Aziraphale just smiled. “I love you, too.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley kissed him again, he simply couldn’t help it. Then the two of them began to pull apart from each other. They both made a noise of displeasure when Crowley slipped out of Aziraphale’s arse, and Crowley collapsed backwards onto the bed while Aziraphale clambered off of him. He was still slightly out of breath, smiling up at the ceiling with eyes closed, when he felt a gentle touch on his belly. He opened his eyes to find Aziraphale cleaning him with a wad of tissues. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I made a mess of you,” he said with a sheepish smile. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley grinned at him. “Best mess ever.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Aziraphale giggled, finished cleaning Crowley’s belly, then the two of them moved together to get under the covers and comfortable. When they finished, Crowley was lying on his back with his arm around Aziraphale, and Aziraphale was curled into his side, his head on Crowley’s shoulder and their legs tangled. Crowley closed his eyes on a smile and sighed, happier than he’d ever been in his life. He turned his head and kissed Aziraphale’s forehead, just because he could. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I love you, Crowley,” Aziraphale said, rubbing a circle on his chest. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I love you, too. And I hope you won’t get sick of me telling you that. I’ve been repressing it for twenty-three years. I’m likely to say it too much.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“You can never say it too much,” Aziraphale promised. “I love hearing it. I’ve been hoping you’d say it for more than half my life.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley kissed his forehead again. “Good.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>They were silent a little while, each lost in their thoughts, until Crowley finally spoke. “Do you forgive me, angel?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Forgive you for what?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“For keeping a secret from you?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Oh, Crowley, my love, I’d forgive you anything. Of course I do. Can you forgive <i>me</i>? I must have hurt you so desperately.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Of course I forgive you, sweetheart. I always will. I just wish you’d <i>talked</i> to me.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I should have. I know that. I’m so sorry I didn’t.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I understand why you didn’t, though. I really do. I don’t blame you. I only wish things had been different.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I do, too. But they’re okay now. Right?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley kissed him. “They’re better than okay. But I need to tell you something.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Aziraphale tensed a bit. “Go ahead.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“It’s not bad, I promise. I just want to warn you that there will almost certainly be other times I keep a secret from you - but only because I want to surprise you with something wonderful. I’d very much like to shower you with gifts and holidays and things like that. Regularly. But I promise - I <i>swear</i> - I’ll never keep a secret that will hurt you. Alright? Never. If you get the sense I’m hiding something, you’re free to ask me, but if I sidestep you, just know that I’m going to surprise you with something. Alright?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Alright.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Do you trust me?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“With every bone of my body,” Aziraphale vowed. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley kissed him again. “Good.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>They lapsed back into silence, idly tracing patterns on each other’s skin with light fingertips, when Aziraphale raised his left hand, looking at his ring. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“It really is gorgeous, Crowley.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley grinned up at the shining platinum and twinkling diamonds. “I thought it was rather nice. I bought one for myself to match.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“You did?” Aziraphale asked, raising his head a little. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I did. It’s in the car.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Why don’t you go get it? I want to put it on you.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I want that, too. And I will soon. I promise. But I’m too happy right now to move yet. It feels like if we move, we’ll break the spell. Or maybe I’ll wake up and this will all have been a dream.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Aziraphale hugged him. “It’s not a dream, although I feel much the same sense of disbelief. We really <i>are</i> in love and we really <i>are</i> engaged.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I’m the happiest man that ever walked the face of the earth, sweetheart.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Me, too. Are these going to serve as our wedding bands?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Nah. We’ll have real wedding bands. These are just to wear while we’re engaged.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“What do we do with them when we’re married?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley shrugged. “I dunno. I’ll probably move mine to my right hand and wear my wedding band on my left.” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Aziraphale sighed. “Your wedding band. Oh, I just can’t believe it. We’re going to be married!”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“We are, indeed,” Crowley said with a grin. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“What do you think about a <i>short</i> engagement?” Aziraphale asked, sounding excited.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Angel, I’m ready to marry you tomorrow.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“You know, we <i>could</i> do that. Get married this weekend, that is. It would be very romantic to elope to Paris and come back married.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley turned his head to look at him, his mouth quirked into a smile. “Are you serious?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yes and no. I very much want us to marry as soon as possible, but we really shouldn’t elope. It would be unfair to our family and friends.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“They would be happy for us,” Crowley reasoned. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I know they would, but, well, I’d <i>miss</i> them.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley kissed him lightly. “Okay, angel. We won’t get married without our families. Why don’t we go to Paris and celebrate your birthday  - and our engagement - then we can start planning the wedding of your dreams when we get back?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I think that sounds lovely.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Come to think of it, what <i>is</i> the wedding of your dreams?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Oh, I’ve never given much thought to  it, but off the cuff, I’d say something small and simple. Maybe outside in a garden, and a small reception after.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“So you want something small and simple?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I think so, yes. Just me and you and our closest friends and family. The people who love us.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley lay there with him for a little while, ideas and plans forming in his mind, and a small grin grew steadily until it overtook his face. Feeling a little wicked, he said, “Hey, angel?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yes?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Speaking of Paris, I’ve had an idea.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“What’s your idea?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I spent a couple of weeks hunting for rare books for you before your birthday, and ended up on a couple of mailing lists. There is supposed to be a book auction in France next weekend. Would you be interested in going?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“You’d like to go to Paris two weekends in a row?” Aziraphale questioned. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Sure. Or we could just <i>stay</i> in Paris for the week. I have scads of holiday time. Would you be willing to close the shop?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Well, I suppose I could…”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Crowley kissed him. “Great. Then it’s settled. We’ll stay in Paris until <i>next</i> Sunday. It can be a pre-honeymoon,” he said, his mind swirling even more with calls he needed to make and things he needed to do. What he wanted to do would be tricky to pull off but he felt sure he could do it. And he couldn’t <i>wait</i>.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>He sighed happily. “Thank you, angel.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“For what?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“For making me the happiest man who ever lived. I love you.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Aziraphale kissed him softly. “I love you, too.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“All in all, how was your birthday?” Crowley asked with a quirked smile. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>The angel beamed at him. “This has been the best birthday of my entire life.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Good. I intend for every holiday to only get better and better.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I can’t imagine you could ever top this,” Aziraphale laughed. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I can’t either, right now, but give me a chance to try.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“You can have anything you like,” Aziraphale promised, then they sealed it with a kiss.</i>
  </i>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I <i>told</i> you it would all be okay! I <i>told<i> you! 💛💛💛</i></i></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Chapter 27</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Well, here it is. The end of this tale. Thank you <i>so much</i> to the people who have been reading and commenting and encouraging me. You’re all rock stars and I love you. Thank you!!!</p><p>Now without further ado, the promised happily ever after!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Paris has always been widely known as the city of love, but while Aziraphale had visited the city a handful of times before, he’d never experienced the <i>romantic</i> side of it. His tours had always been more culinary and cultural. But that all changed when he arrived in Paris with Crowley. </p><p>Crowley had booked them into a posh hotel suite overlooking the Seine that they hardly left for the first two days. Eventually, they started venturing out, seeing the sights, playing tourist. They visited all the popular tourist destinations, including the Eiffel Tower (where Crowley made good on his promise to kiss Aziraphale at the top - and beneath it), the Louvre, and anything else that took their fancy. Crowley was attentive and doting - although he spent a fair amount of time on his mobile when Aziraphale was otherwise occupied. Curious, Aziraphale asked what he was up to, and Crowley just tapped his nose and winked, then kissed Aziraphale and said, “You’ll see.” It made excitement bubble up inside him, but he didn’t ask. He just looked forward to his surprise - whatever it may be.</p><p>Aziraphale wouldn’t have thought it was possible, but he fell even deeper in love with Crowley that week. He simply couldn’t get enough of his fiancé - soon to be husband. Every time he remembered that Crowley would be his husband soon, he felt a little shiver of pleasure. Crowley was going to be his <i>husband</i>. He couldn’t believe it. But best of all - they would still be best friends. Forever.</p><p>As they were walking through the streets of Paris on Friday afternoon, they happened to pass a fine jeweler advertising that they’d been in business since the sixteenth century. Aziraphale was intrigued, and Crowley insisted they go in and check it out. Much to Aziraphale’s surprise, while they were there, they picked out their wedding bands and purchased them. He had no idea when they’d actually <i>use</i> them - they hadn’t talked in great detail about setting a date, they were more focused on getting Crowley moved in when they got back to London - but the fact that they’d purchased them and had them ready made Aziraphale happy. It made things feel a bit more real. They would be prepared whenever the day came.</p><p>On Saturday, the last full day in Paris and the day of the book auction, they woke up in each other’s arms, made love, then ordered room service for breakfast and had a lazy morning. They left the hotel room around one to find a restaurant for lunch and go to the auction. Crowley was on his mobile a bit more than usual that morning, but Aziraphale didn’t question it. He figured he’d know in the fullness of time.</p><p>After lunch, they took a cab and Aziraphale <i>thought</i> they were going to the convention center for the auction, but the cab took them instead to a park.</p><p>“I think he took us to the wrong place, dear,” Aziraphale said when the car stopped. </p><p>“Nah. We’re in the right place.”</p><p>“But--”</p><p>“It’s a surprise. Trust me?” Crowley asked, and Aziraphale melted. </p><p>“Of course I do.”</p><p>Crowley kissed him quickly with a smile, then got out of the car. Aziraphale followed. </p><p>They held hands into the park, and Crowley seemed nervous. Aziraphale’s heart was thrumming in his chest and he thought he was about to burst with excitement. </p><p>They came to the entrance of a garden, hidden by tall hedges, and Crowley pulled him to a stop. Aziraphale’s heart beat faster. </p><p>“Angel, are you still willing to marry me?”</p><p>“You know I am, darling. I can’t wait to marry you.”</p><p>“What if you didn’t have to wait? What if we could do it right now? Would you still do it?”</p><p>“Of course I would, Crowley, but we agreed to wait until we could include our family and friends.”</p><p>Crowley smiled at him. “They’re here.”</p><p>Aziraphale blinked. “They’re what?”</p><p>“They’re here. They’re just inside this garden, on the other side of this hedge. Our friends and family. I flew them all to Paris, as well as an officiant. So I’ll ask again - are you willing to marry me right now? Or would you rather wait a while?”</p><p>“Oh, Crowley, yes! I’ll marry you right this minute!”</p><p>Crowley gave him a brilliant smile, then kissed him quickly. Without a word, he pulled Aziraphale through the break in the hedges and into the garden, raising their joined hands when they got inside and shouting, “He said yes!”</p><p>There was a round of cheers from the people gathered there, and Aziraphale’s eyes watered when he saw the faces of everyone he loved smiling at him. Gabriel and Sandy were there, along with their families, Lucy Crowley was there, beaming with pride, and Aziraphale was surprised to see Tracy and Shadwell there, as well as Newt and Anathema, who were holding hands. There were a few people he didn’t know, but they were also smiling kindly at him and Aziraphale assumed they were friends. </p><p>“You invited Tracy and Anathema?” he asked Crowley in a low voice.</p><p>Crowley grinned at him. “I rang her and told her what had happened. She felt awful that the tarot reading made you feel that way and caused a problem, so I told her she could make it up to me by letting me hire her to be our wedding coordinator. She and my mother worked very closely together over the last week to plan this.”</p><p>“Oh, Crowley, it’s <i>lovely,</i>” Aziraphale cooed, looking around. And it was. They were in a beautiful rose garden that was full of blooming bushes in every possible color. There was an arbor covered in pink and white roses at the front of the garden, with an officiant wearing all black standing beneath it holding a book, and at the rear, near the hedge, was a table with a wedding cake and a couple of other nibbles, as well as champagne in ice buckets. </p><p>“Good surprise?” Crowley asked with a smile. </p><p>Aziraphale beamed at him. “The <i>best</i> surprise.”</p><p>They parted for a minute to speak to their family and friends, each of them receiving hugs and congratulations. Aziraphale was chatting with Gabriel and holding baby Zach when he felt a tap on his shoulder and turned around. </p><p>“Angel, I’d like to introduce you to someone. This is Fergus, my friend from New York, and his wife, Ella. Their two children, Daniel and Liam, are the two towheads you see running around with Nate and Lailah.”</p><p>Aziraphale handed Zach back to Gabriel, then offered his hand, smiling. “How do you do, Fergus? Ella? I’m Aziraphale Fell.”</p><p>“It’s so good to meet you, finally,” Fergus said, his smile bright. “I’ve been hearing about you for fifteen years.”</p><p>“You have?”</p><p>“Oh, yes. Crowley talked about you and how much he loves you all the time.”</p><p>Aziraphale flushed and felt an arm go around his waist. “It’s true, angel. Fergus and Ella know all about you, and how I’ve been in love with you.”</p><p>“I’d very much like to have long conversations with you later,” Aziraphale said, only slightly teasing. “Any friend of Crowley’s is a friend of mine.”</p><p>Fergus and Ella smiled back at him. “It would be our pleasure. We’ll be in London, staying at Crowley’s flat, for the next week.”</p><p>“Oh, good, so we’ll have time to get to know one another.”</p><p>There was a clearing of the throat behind them, and they turned to see the officiant standing nearby, looking impatient. </p><p>“Right, yes,” Crowley said. “Are you ready to do this, angel?”</p><p>“I’m quite ready. Have you got the rings?”</p><p>“I do. Time to move our engagement rings, I guess.”</p><p>Aziraphale beamed. “Yes, I guess so.”</p><p>They both pulled off their engagement rings and slid them onto their right hands, leaving their left ring fingers bare - for the moment. Aziraphale nearly cried with happiness. They were about to be married!</p><p>All their friends and family took their seats in the chairs, and Aziraphale and Crowley went to the arbor, where the officiant was waiting. When everyone was seated, Crowley reached for Aziraphale’s hands and the officiant started, “Dearly beloved…”</p><p>Aziraphale barely heard much of what the officiant was saying. He was lost in the moment, standing there in front of their friends and family, hands joined with Crowley, looking into each other’s eyes. He could have stood there forever, but after a while, the officiant caught their attention.</p><p>“Aziraphale and Crowley will now make their vows to each other before they exchange their rings. Crowley?” he prompted. </p><p>Crowley looked over at the officiant, then back to Aziraphale, his eyes sparkling. He looked to be thinking for a moment, then he spoke. </p><p>“Angel… I’ve known you were my soulmate since before I even knew the word or understood the concept. I knew for one hundred percent certain from the very day I met you, when we were kids, that we were meant to be together. I realized I was in love with you when we were still teenagers, and I remember thinking at the time that I couldn’t love you any more. But I was wrong. I was so wrong, and I love you more today than I could have possibly imagined. </p><p>“The years we were apart… well, I’d be lying if I said they were all bad. They weren’t. But it was like part of me was missing: like this big chunk of my soul was just gone. Now that we’re together again, it’s back. I feel whole. I feel complete. Life is <i>sweeter</i> with you, angel. It’s just richer and better. </p><p>“I promise to do my best to be the husband you deserve. I promise to be the person that loves you the most. I promise to work my arse off to prove to you just how wonderful and special you are every day. I promise to take care of you, to cherish you, to <i>love</i> you with every breath until my <i>dying</i> breath. And more than anything else, I promise to be your best friend.”</p><p>Aziraphale had tears flowing down his cheeks unchecked, blurring his vision, but his face was glowing with happiness. He wanted to kiss Crowley, wanted to kiss him so badly, and just barely refrained. He satisfied himself with squeezing the hands he held. </p><p>“Aziraphale?”</p><p>Aziraphale glanced over at the officiant, then back to Crowley. He took a deep breath and began. </p><p>“Crowley, my darling, I don’t even know what to say. My heart and mind are so full, just full to overflowing with love for you. I’d be lying if I said I’d dreamed about this day, because I never believed it would be possible, even in my <i>wildest</i> dreams. I never believed you could love me the way I’ve always loved you. Finding out that I was wrong, that you <i>do</i> love me, has been the greatest joy of my life. <i>You</i> are the greatest joy of my life. I love you with every breath, every heartbeat, every thought, and all I want for the rest of my life is to spend it with you.</p><p>“I promise to do my best to be what you need at any given time. I promise to celebrate with you, grieve with you, support you, hold you, build you up and protect you. I promise to give you the best of myself, and to do everything I can to be the best part of your life. I promise to always, <i>always</i> be your best friend. And I promise to love you, completely and without reservation, until my heart stops beating.”</p><p>A pair of tears teetered in Crowley’s eyes, then splashed onto his cheeks. Aziraphale wanted to wipe them away, but held onto his hands. </p><p>“Crowley, the ring?”</p><p>Crowley let go of Aziraphale’s hands and plucked one of the two rings from the prayer book. Aziraphale raised his trembling left hand, and Crowley poised the ring at the tip of his finger. Repeating after the officiant, he said, “I, Crowley, take you, Aziraphale, to be my lawfully wedded husband. To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do us part.”</p><p>He slid the ring onto Aziraphale’s finger, and Aziraphale stared at it for a moment, dumbstruck. He looked up from the ring into Crowley’s face, his eyes shining with tears, joy, and wonder.</p><p>“Aziraphale?”</p><p>Aziraphale reached to take the wedding ring and just as Crowley had done, he poised it at the tip of his finger. As he slid it on, he said, “I, Aziraphale, take you, Crowley, to be my lawfully wedded husband. To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do us part.”</p><p>Crowley was <i>beaming</i> at him, wearing the biggest smile Aziraphale had ever seen, and Aziraphale knew his own face matched. If Crowley hadn’t been holding his hands, he was sure he would have floated away. </p><p>“It is with the power vested in me and a deep sense of joy that I proclaim that you are lawfully wed. You may kiss your husband.”</p><p>Crowley let out a whoop of joy and Aziraphale would have laughed, happiness bubbling out of his chest and into sound, but he suddenly found himself wrapped in his husband’s long arms, being kissed into oblivion while their family and friends cheered.</p>
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